So there's this girl...

[MovingForward]

Well they all start that way (the posts I mean!), and basically thats my problem.

(Warning: teen-angst-over-the-opposite-sex approaching)

Background: I'm a guy and 17, and have never been in a relationship before and then about 2 months ago I met this girl.

My closest friend has a girlfriend, and to make her feel welcome among us, we all (our entire group) had a big braai (thats a barbecue for you non-South African types) at my friends house, and his girlfriend brought her best friend along.

Long story, shorter: we got on like a house on fire. She is intelligent, clever, kind, and a generally nice person (also she's rather (read: very) shy (and she's one year younger than me BTW)).

So since then we have seen each other casually, when our group has gone out as a whole.

But recently she and I have started paying each other more attention. The other day myself, my best friend and his girlfriend went to watch a show she was participating in, and she basically made every excuse possible to her team and her trainer to sit with us (me, actually) the entire first half.

Anyway, her performance was spectacular and I basically fell in love with her all over again.

So: what is my next move to make my intentions clear (without messing it up or scaring her off)? Help!

EDIT: spelling.

 

[zombiesinc]

So: what is my next move to make my intentions clear (without messing it up or scaring her off)? Help!

Unless you go up to her and profess your undying love, I doubt you'll scare her away. She seems as interested as you, so I don't think that being honest and letting her know how you feel could be a bad thing, in any way.

So, good luck! Though it doesn't seem like you'll need it.

 

[Doive]

Well get her number if you haven't already. Invite her to something simple like a walk in a park, conversation will flow easily and there'll be a bench or a nice patch of grass etc to chill out on then lightly touch/hold her hand with one of your hands, her face with the other and go in for the kiss.
Remember to act confident, but not cocky or creepy. And don't tell her your intentions, just go for it, a little spontaneity is always good.

Edit: And good luck. Obviously this is an example situation, any time it is just the two of you without a big group around and if it seems appropriate, go for it!

 

[quiet_samurai]

Do this..

You: Hey, what's up?

Her: Nothing, you?

You: Nothing, hey listen, lets go to the ....(whatever you want).... sometime, what do you say?

She'll either say yes or no... and you will get your answer.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Just nice I guess. If you make it obvious you're interested she'll probably ask you. But if she doesn't I suggest you ask, basically like this:

Do this..

You: Hey, what's up?

Her: Nothing, you?

You: Nothing, hey listen, lets go to the ....(whatever you want).... sometime, what do you say?

She'll either say yes or no... and you will get your answer.

 

[aussiebear]

So: what is my next move to make my intentions clear (without messing it up or scaring her off)? Help!

Don't wait or hesitate...Ask her out. Nothing can be more clear than walking right up to a girl who's shown interest in you with her past actions.

Don't worry about messing up. Being a little nervous is normal. Just don't go over the top with a date. For example: hiring a limo or going to some expensive/formal place that makes both of you stand out like a sore thumb.

Go to a fun park or something. The point is to have fun and create experiences you can share together.

 

[stonethered]

I'm siding with these folks and throwing my vote behind the 'tell her how you feel' option.
Don't be overly dramatic, don't go professing undying love for her or anything like that, just tell her you'd like to get to know her better, or get closer to her, or whatever works for you.

Sounds like the two of you already have enough of a spark to get it started as it is; all you really need to do is go for it.

 

[Erana]

My question is: how will you react if she doesn't say yes? I mean, if you're friends with someone and they express their (nonreciprocated) romantic love for you, things can turn really awkward, really quick. I know if someone continues to pledge their love for me when I tell them it won't work, I feel like a ***** and a tease, and it makes me feel like it would be better if I wasn't hanging around to do that to them.

If you're going to profess your love for your crush, be prepared to not make a huge deal out of it, or you might just wind up alienating your best friend.

Wow, I sound pessimistic. Goes to show how much experience I have with dating. But still, this is just a cautionary tale. You two may well be perfect lovebirds and go skipping over the rainbow to a bright future.
Either way, I hope for the best for you!

 

[Caspertjuhh]

when you are alone, talk to her about boyfriends, wheter she has one etc... see how the conversation rolls on

 

[BonsaiK]

Well they all start that way (the posts I mean!), and basically thats my problem.

(Warning: teen-angst-over-the-opposite-sex approaching)

Background: I'm a guy and 17, and have never been in a relationship before and then about 2 months ago I met this girl.

My closest friend has a girlfriend, and to make her feel welcome among us, we all (our entire group) had a big braai (thats a barbecue for you non-South African types) at my friends house, and his girlfriend brought her best friend along.

Long story, shorter: we got on like a house on fire. She is intelligent, clever, kind, and a generally nice person (also she's rather (read: very) shy (and she's one year younger than me BTW)).

So since then we have seen each other casually, when our group has gone out as a whole.

But recently she and I have started paying each other more attention. The other day myself, my best friend and his girlfriend went to watch a show she was participating in, and she basically made every excuse possible to her team and her trainer to sit with us (me, actually) the entire first half.

Anyway, her performance was spectacular and I basically fell in love with her all over again.

So: what is my next move to make my intentions clear (without messing it up or scaring her off)? Help!

Sounds to me like you've got this one in the bag, and all you have to do is not screw it up.

Telling her how you feel (unless she asks you) is putting the cart before the horse at this point. A better idea is to show her how you feel, by asking her out to some sort of social engagement which is just the two of you and nobody else. This allows you to get to know each other better, tests your one-on-one rapport over a sustained time period, and also gives the opportunity for you both to have some fun together and for you to show her that you're a fun type of guy to hang out with that she'd want in her life. Try that and see how it goes. If it goes well, at the end of the date, ask her out on another one...

 

[BonsaiK]

There's a thread dedicated to relationship advice but I can't seem to get to it.

Oh, that was my thread. It still exists but I had it locked because I think the Advice Forum makes it redundant.

 

[LebbyLegs]

My single piece of advice which i have garnered from my incredibly muddled mess that a drunk optimist might call a love life goes thus 'DONT WAIT!!!!!!!!!!'

More then once there has been a girl who seems to like me and who I like back and there has been the PERFECT opportunity to ask her, but I let it slip away , and then a dashing rogue with more charisma then a glass of water sweeps in and takes her away.

So yeah don't wait, sounds like you got a sure thing there mate Give it a shot, and if by some miniscule chance it all goes tits up, is it really the sort of thing your gunna remember when your an old man? So don't worry
(Easier said then done and i now hate myself for giving such self satisfied advice)

 

[Naheal]

This girl is pretty much falling into your lap. If you two get along well, ask if she'd like to do something you both will enjoy. That's pretty much it. There's not a whole lot beyond that.

Also, remember, you both are going to be nervous until things start going.

 

[TheGreatCoolEnergy]

Take some pills. I don't know what type, but I'm sure science has a way to fix that right up

 

[Sneeze]

As everyone else is saying, just ask her out somewhere, just the two of you, food, a drink, coffee, cinema. They're all clichés for a reason my my reckoning. See how it goes, go from there.

 

[Mr. Google]

Believe me you already have her. If you talk to her casually talk to her about this one movie that you want to see. Then be like Oh you should totally come with me!

 

[MovingForward]

AAAAAAMD....

We're going out tomorrow together.

Yay!