So this girl on Twitter is pretty fucked up....

[09philj]

I think that domination fetishes are unhealthy, though natural. They're pretty much on par with rape fantasies as far as I am concerned.

I honestly question the moral integrity of anyone who takes the position of dom, causing suffering to someone should not be normalized under any case. Things can turn sour too quickly, damage to the sub can be permanent, and in the case of paid doms like the one in the OP, I think it's often a case of people exploiting psychologically unwell individuals for monetary profit, and sometimes for shits and giggles.

I'm all for tolerance of all sexual behaviours and free sexuality, but anything that opens the door for physical or psychological abuse is a big no-no for me.

I'll just copy and paste what somebody once said on another forum when the subject came up:

Spoiler: Text Wall

For one, BDSM is done between consenting adults. A sort of guideline for BDSM can be summed up in the phrase 'Safe. Sane. Consensual'. Abuse is all about power and control. While yes, those elements exist in BDSM play, they are not its end goals. Ultimately, the purpose of BDSM is to explore kinks with your partner, and to build trust.

In BDSM play, you have two roles: the Dominant, and the submissive (Their are other names, but this is the basic). Together, they perform a scene (a scenario of sorts), the submissive is typically a masochist, and the Dominant, a sadist. Essentially, the submissive receives pleasure from being spanked, tied up, ordered around, etc -- and the Dominant receives pleasure from doing those and fulfilling the submissive's kinks. It is the responsibility of the Dominant to not only perform these things, but to also ensure their submissive isn't put into any real danger.

Bondage without adequate knowledge can be quite dangerous, it can cause nerve damage, loss of circulation, blood clots, and even death in severe cases. So the Dominant must also be on the watch and learn how to read a submissive's body language. Are they wiggling their fingers? Are they rotating their ankles? etc. These are signs that the ropes (or other medium) are too tight, and are cutting off feeling or circulation.

So where does trust and the power dynamic play into this? It's seen that Dominants in a BDSM D/s relationship have all the power, while this is somewhat true, this power is given voluntarily by the submissive. In a scene, the submissive can stop the scene at any time, there are no ifs, ands, or buts. The Dominant will untie, or do whatever else needed to release the submissive, and the scene will end. This is governed by, what I view should be the most important thing in BDSM play, the safeword. You see, throughout a scene, and within a BDSM relationship, communication is paramount, and there is always communication going on between a Dominant and the submissive, even if it's non-vocal.

Before a scene begins, a safeword will be established, this indicates that, should it be spoken, the scene will end, no exceptions. In cases where vocal communication isn't possible, such as a gag being used, there are other methods such as the submissive holding a set of heavy coins (or other object capable of making a distinct, clear noise) in their hands. If the submissive drops this, the scene ends, no exceptions. This is also where the Dominant's observation, and communication becomes very important.

Because bondage can cause injury, it's imperative that the Dominant watch body language, and assess the submissive constantly during play. Because there is a time within a scene where communication with a submissive stops being possible. This is known as subspace.

Subspace is the moment in a scene, where the submissive undergoes a spike of adrenaline and endorphins that can cause them to enter varying levels of altered psychological states from a feeling of being high, to a trance-like state where communication can be difficult to establish between a submissive and a Dominant. When a submissive enters subspace, the Dominant must quickly end the scene and release them. At which point, they will monitor the submissive carefully and administer Aftercare.

Aftercare is immensely important for a submissive's well-being. Once subspace subsides, a sub will enter what is called a subdrop, this is an endorphin crash where they will feel weakened, fatigued, and may have difficulty concentrating. A Dominant will care for the submissive, have them drink water, and eat, and provide close contact such as cuddling. They will also discuss the scene, what they liked, what they disliked, if they should try something again or how to do something differently. Without aftercare, a submissive can develop flue-like symptoms, and become depressed. Aftercare solidifies the emotional bond between a Dominant and submissive, and strengthens the trust within the relationship.

And that's all BDSM is, it's a relationship built on a very strong emotional bond, and immense trust between two consenting adults. Because of the stakes within such a dynamic, not communicating isn't an option, doing so can lead to injury or worse. Knowing this as a submissive and a Dominant is extremely important for both of their safety and well-being. I like to argue that BDSM relationships are much more open than regular relationships thanks to this policy, because it's dependent on being very open with your partner to ensure that your emotional and physical needs are met.

Community-wise, the BDSM community is also very open, and most are more than willing to help people interested. There are BDSM clubs, munches (a lunch where practitioners meet up), and conventions. There's tons, and I mean TONS of information online, including several official wikis and forums loaded with information that is helpful and people willing to help out those interested.

That said, having explained these things, there are people within the community to watch out for, because there is always that one. And I feel it irresponsible of me not to give out a fair warning.

Generally, avoid people that call themselves Master/Mistress. These titles are earned, and anyone bragging about their title needs to be avoided greatly. The reason is, at least in typical BDSM culture, is that Master/Mistress is a title given to someone who is very, very experienced and well knowledgeable in BDSM by others in the community.

Secondly, avoid people who say they don't do Aftercare, or that it's not important. Or that they don't do safewords. This is a massive red flag for someone who isn't interested in your safety, nor health, and can be a quick road to injury or a really, really bad situation.

Thirdly, avoid coercion. BDSM is about openness and exploring kinks together. You do not have to do anything, and should not do anything outside of your comfort zone.

These types of people are watched out for in the community, and other members will have no issue informing you of who to avoid.

The only other thing left I can think of to talk about is collars. Collars have a special significance in BDSM culture, and it's important to know how they work and what they mean. A collar is a device that the submissive wears around the neck, they come in many varieties, and many styles, and have many functions. There are also two types of collars: a typical collar, and a play-collar. In the typical culture of BDSM, a collar signifies the absolute trust and strength of a bond shared between a Dominant and their submissive.

Do note, that being collared is a voluntary process where the submissive is giving up their power to their Dominant. This is extensively discussed beforehand to determine if that's where both the D/s want their relationship to go, and must be mutually agreed upon. Do not let anyone try and convince you otherwise.

As such, it's significance has a similar weight to an engagement ring for many couples, or a statement that this submissive is 'owned' (collared) and in a relationship with their Dominant. When a submissive wears a collar, it is usually given to them by their Dominant, and only the Dominant is allowed to remove the collar (barring cases such as medical emergencies).

It's important to know that you shouldn't touch or mess with the collar of a submissive who belongs to another Dominant. Collaring a submissive may have certain rituals and traditions associated with it, and generally a Dominant may lay down a series of rules for a submissive who has been collared (breaking of these rules results in punishment for the submissive as an example, and a submissive may willingly try and break the rules to get punished).

The other type of collar is a play-collar. These are also worn around the neck, but are temporary and used in a particular scene. Often, they are fastened to a rope or chain, a lead, and allow the Dominant to lead their submissive around. Once the scene has finished, they are removed.

Finally, as I pointed out in another post. Ask, ask, ask. I cannot stress this enough. If you don't know something, ask. It's really for your well-being, and we'd all rather you have fun, and do so in a healthy, and safe manner. This is especially important for Dominants. Because you will be responsible for the well-being of a submissive, and are also exploring things yourself, it's important you ask and try to learn as much as you can.

My rule of thumb is: If you're not sure, don't do it. There's also nothing wrong with a Dominant playing a submissive to learn. Trust me, no one's going to think anything less of you, the community isn't one to judge.

So, remember. Safe. Sane. Consensual. This is what separates BDSM from abuse. The former is all about the bond, the trust, and the exploration. The latter cares nothing for that.

 

[WindKnight]

I think that domination fetishes are unhealthy, though natural. They're pretty much on par with rape fantasies as far as I am concerned.

I honestly question the moral integrity of anyone who takes the position of dom, causing suffering to someone should not be normalized under any case. Things can turn sour too quickly, damage to the sub can be permanent, and in the case of paid doms like the one in the OP, I think it's often a case of people exploiting psychologically unwell individuals for monetary profit, and sometimes for shits and giggles.

I'm all for tolerance of all sexual behaviours and free sexuality, but anything that opens the door for physical or psychological abuse is a big no-no for me.

I have a lot of friends into BSDM, and the first rule is Safe, Consensual, Sane. There's a reason why safewords are pretty much expected, and ignoring them is a VERY big taboo.

Subs get a lot of power and input into setting the boundaries and what they're ok with.

For example - in second life there are groups for 'kidnapping' where you can sign up as a 'kidnapper' or a 'victim', and I knew a couple where one had signed up as a kidnapper, the other a victim, and one night the kidnapper ended up frustrated because all three victims she grabbed had failed to fill out their preferences and upon being kidnapped declared 'oh, I'm not into women'.

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

No no. you're confusing him with guys like Keemstar and Scarce, they're the ones who do that kind of TMZ psuedo celebrity bullshit.

PhillyD covers news. He's not covering this because he's up and arms about it and just found out about it (like I'm doing) he's covering it because "This is what the internet is up in arms about" It's a watch this and get a pulse of what the community cares about type deal. He reports on fluff like this all the way to hard news like whats going on with the elections.

Is the internet "up in arms", though? This is the first I've heard of it and apparently her twitter is deactivated?

I mean, I'm just going off of the thread, though, because I'm not watching an 11 minute video of someone moaning about a twitter account.

Echoing this question. The internet is up in arms over this girl and her financial/emotional dom business? I've never heard of this nor do I honestly take any "the internet is mad about ____" shit serious anymore. People with too much time and too much anonymity are always upset about something.

It sounds more like Philip DeFranco made a click bait video on a topic The Internet is easily triggered by. And by the internet I mean all of the people willing to jump on anything even tangentially related to THE FEMINISTS. If everyone participating in these... relationships are consenting and safe there's literally no problem here.

Isn't Philip DeFranco the same guy who made a video about that one girl who was flipping out at her uber driver about feminism or some shit?

 

[Sonmi]

I think that domination fetishes are unhealthy, though natural. They're pretty much on par with rape fantasies as far as I am concerned.

I honestly question the moral integrity of anyone who takes the position of dom, causing suffering to someone should not be normalized under any case. Things can turn sour too quickly, damage to the sub can be permanent, and in the case of paid doms like the one in the OP, I think it's often a case of people exploiting psychologically unwell individuals for monetary profit, and sometimes for shits and giggles.

I'm all for tolerance of all sexual behaviours and free sexuality, but anything that opens the door for physical or psychological abuse is a big no-no for me.

I'll just copy and paste what somebody once said on another forum when the subject came up:

Spoiler: Text Wall

For one, BDSM is done between consenting adults. A sort of guideline for BDSM can be summed up in the phrase 'Safe. Sane. Consensual'. Abuse is all about power and control. While yes, those elements exist in BDSM play, they are not its end goals. Ultimately, the purpose of BDSM is to explore kinks with your partner, and to build trust.

In BDSM play, you have two roles: the Dominant, and the submissive (Their are other names, but this is the basic). Together, they perform a scene (a scenario of sorts), the submissive is typically a masochist, and the Dominant, a sadist. Essentially, the submissive receives pleasure from being spanked, tied up, ordered around, etc -- and the Dominant receives pleasure from doing those and fulfilling the submissive's kinks. It is the responsibility of the Dominant to not only perform these things, but to also ensure their submissive isn't put into any real danger.

Bondage without adequate knowledge can be quite dangerous, it can cause nerve damage, loss of circulation, blood clots, and even death in severe cases. So the Dominant must also be on the watch and learn how to read a submissive's body language. Are they wiggling their fingers? Are they rotating their ankles? etc. These are signs that the ropes (or other medium) are too tight, and are cutting off feeling or circulation.

So where does trust and the power dynamic play into this? It's seen that Dominants in a BDSM D/s relationship have all the power, while this is somewhat true, this power is given voluntarily by the submissive. In a scene, the submissive can stop the scene at any time, there are no ifs, ands, or buts. The Dominant will untie, or do whatever else needed to release the submissive, and the scene will end. This is governed by, what I view should be the most important thing in BDSM play, the safeword. You see, throughout a scene, and within a BDSM relationship, communication is paramount, and there is always communication going on between a Dominant and the submissive, even if it's non-vocal.

Before a scene begins, a safeword will be established, this indicates that, should it be spoken, the scene will end, no exceptions. In cases where vocal communication isn't possible, such as a gag being used, there are other methods such as the submissive holding a set of heavy coins (or other object capable of making a distinct, clear noise) in their hands. If the submissive drops this, the scene ends, no exceptions. This is also where the Dominant's observation, and communication becomes very important.

Because bondage can cause injury, it's imperative that the Dominant watch body language, and assess the submissive constantly during play. Because there is a time within a scene where communication with a submissive stops being possible. This is known as subspace.

Subspace is the moment in a scene, where the submissive undergoes a spike of adrenaline and endorphins that can cause them to enter varying levels of altered psychological states from a feeling of being high, to a trance-like state where communication can be difficult to establish between a submissive and a Dominant. When a submissive enters subspace, the Dominant must quickly end the scene and release them. At which point, they will monitor the submissive carefully and administer Aftercare.

Aftercare is immensely important for a submissive's well-being. Once subspace subsides, a sub will enter what is called a subdrop, this is an endorphin crash where they will feel weakened, fatigued, and may have difficulty concentrating. A Dominant will care for the submissive, have them drink water, and eat, and provide close contact such as cuddling. They will also discuss the scene, what they liked, what they disliked, if they should try something again or how to do something differently. Without aftercare, a submissive can develop flue-like symptoms, and become depressed. Aftercare solidifies the emotional bond between a Dominant and submissive, and strengthens the trust within the relationship.

And that's all BDSM is, it's a relationship built on a very strong emotional bond, and immense trust between two consenting adults. Because of the stakes within such a dynamic, not communicating isn't an option, doing so can lead to injury or worse. Knowing this as a submissive and a Dominant is extremely important for both of their safety and well-being. I like to argue that BDSM relationships are much more open than regular relationships thanks to this policy, because it's dependent on being very open with your partner to ensure that your emotional and physical needs are met.

Community-wise, the BDSM community is also very open, and most are more than willing to help people interested. There are BDSM clubs, munches (a lunch where practitioners meet up), and conventions. There's tons, and I mean TONS of information online, including several official wikis and forums loaded with information that is helpful and people willing to help out those interested.

That said, having explained these things, there are people within the community to watch out for, because there is always that one. And I feel it irresponsible of me not to give out a fair warning.

Generally, avoid people that call themselves Master/Mistress. These titles are earned, and anyone bragging about their title needs to be avoided greatly. The reason is, at least in typical BDSM culture, is that Master/Mistress is a title given to someone who is very, very experienced and well knowledgeable in BDSM by others in the community.

Secondly, avoid people who say they don't do Aftercare, or that it's not important. Or that they don't do safewords. This is a massive red flag for someone who isn't interested in your safety, nor health, and can be a quick road to injury or a really, really bad situation.

Thirdly, avoid coercion. BDSM is about openness and exploring kinks together. You do not have to do anything, and should not do anything outside of your comfort zone.

These types of people are watched out for in the community, and other members will have no issue informing you of who to avoid.

The only other thing left I can think of to talk about is collars. Collars have a special significance in BDSM culture, and it's important to know how they work and what they mean. A collar is a device that the submissive wears around the neck, they come in many varieties, and many styles, and have many functions. There are also two types of collars: a typical collar, and a play-collar. In the typical culture of BDSM, a collar signifies the absolute trust and strength of a bond shared between a Dominant and their submissive.

Do note, that being collared is a voluntary process where the submissive is giving up their power to their Dominant. This is extensively discussed beforehand to determine if that's where both the D/s want their relationship to go, and must be mutually agreed upon. Do not let anyone try and convince you otherwise.

As such, it's significance has a similar weight to an engagement ring for many couples, or a statement that this submissive is 'owned' (collared) and in a relationship with their Dominant. When a submissive wears a collar, it is usually given to them by their Dominant, and only the Dominant is allowed to remove the collar (barring cases such as medical emergencies).

It's important to know that you shouldn't touch or mess with the collar of a submissive who belongs to another Dominant. Collaring a submissive may have certain rituals and traditions associated with it, and generally a Dominant may lay down a series of rules for a submissive who has been collared (breaking of these rules results in punishment for the submissive as an example, and a submissive may willingly try and break the rules to get punished).

The other type of collar is a play-collar. These are also worn around the neck, but are temporary and used in a particular scene. Often, they are fastened to a rope or chain, a lead, and allow the Dominant to lead their submissive around. Once the scene has finished, they are removed.

Finally, as I pointed out in another post. Ask, ask, ask. I cannot stress this enough. If you don't know something, ask. It's really for your well-being, and we'd all rather you have fun, and do so in a healthy, and safe manner. This is especially important for Dominants. Because you will be responsible for the well-being of a submissive, and are also exploring things yourself, it's important you ask and try to learn as much as you can.

My rule of thumb is: If you're not sure, don't do it. There's also nothing wrong with a Dominant playing a submissive to learn. Trust me, no one's going to think anything less of you, the community isn't one to judge.

So, remember. Safe. Sane. Consensual. This is what separates BDSM from abuse. The former is all about the bond, the trust, and the exploration. The latter cares nothing for that.

Oh, I'm aware there is a lot of talk of consent in the BDSM community, I've heard it all before, my ex was extremely into it and would talk about her experiences to no end.

That's the whole point though, I question the ability of the abused partner to give consent the same way I would question the judgement of an abused partner deciding to to stay in any relationship. The poor sap who shaves his eyebrows, gets his testicles bruised, and then pays his abuser for fucking him up doesn't sound healthy to me, same way the abuser doesn't sound healthy, same way both sides of rape fetishists don't either.

Most fetishes are harmless, but BDSM is in a very, very grey zone as far as I am concerned.

The wall of text you posted ends with talks of forming a bond of trust and exploration between partners, well let me ask you, do you seriously think the woman in the OP trusts or is emotionally attached in any way to her clients? I don't think it's very likely.

 

[09philj]

I think that domination fetishes are unhealthy, though natural. They're pretty much on par with rape fantasies as far as I am concerned.

I honestly question the moral integrity of anyone who takes the position of dom, causing suffering to someone should not be normalized under any case. Things can turn sour too quickly, damage to the sub can be permanent, and in the case of paid doms like the one in the OP, I think it's often a case of people exploiting psychologically unwell individuals for monetary profit, and sometimes for shits and giggles.

I'm all for tolerance of all sexual behaviours and free sexuality, but anything that opens the door for physical or psychological abuse is a big no-no for me.

I'll just copy and paste what somebody once said on another forum when the subject came up:

Spoiler: Text Wall

For one, BDSM is done between consenting adults. A sort of guideline for BDSM can be summed up in the phrase 'Safe. Sane. Consensual'. Abuse is all about power and control. While yes, those elements exist in BDSM play, they are not its end goals. Ultimately, the purpose of BDSM is to explore kinks with your partner, and to build trust.

In BDSM play, you have two roles: the Dominant, and the submissive (Their are other names, but this is the basic). Together, they perform a scene (a scenario of sorts), the submissive is typically a masochist, and the Dominant, a sadist. Essentially, the submissive receives pleasure from being spanked, tied up, ordered around, etc -- and the Dominant receives pleasure from doing those and fulfilling the submissive's kinks. It is the responsibility of the Dominant to not only perform these things, but to also ensure their submissive isn't put into any real danger.

Bondage without adequate knowledge can be quite dangerous, it can cause nerve damage, loss of circulation, blood clots, and even death in severe cases. So the Dominant must also be on the watch and learn how to read a submissive's body language. Are they wiggling their fingers? Are they rotating their ankles? etc. These are signs that the ropes (or other medium) are too tight, and are cutting off feeling or circulation.

So where does trust and the power dynamic play into this? It's seen that Dominants in a BDSM D/s relationship have all the power, while this is somewhat true, this power is given voluntarily by the submissive. In a scene, the submissive can stop the scene at any time, there are no ifs, ands, or buts. The Dominant will untie, or do whatever else needed to release the submissive, and the scene will end. This is governed by, what I view should be the most important thing in BDSM play, the safeword. You see, throughout a scene, and within a BDSM relationship, communication is paramount, and there is always communication going on between a Dominant and the submissive, even if it's non-vocal.

Before a scene begins, a safeword will be established, this indicates that, should it be spoken, the scene will end, no exceptions. In cases where vocal communication isn't possible, such as a gag being used, there are other methods such as the submissive holding a set of heavy coins (or other object capable of making a distinct, clear noise) in their hands. If the submissive drops this, the scene ends, no exceptions. This is also where the Dominant's observation, and communication becomes very important.

Because bondage can cause injury, it's imperative that the Dominant watch body language, and assess the submissive constantly during play. Because there is a time within a scene where communication with a submissive stops being possible. This is known as subspace.

Subspace is the moment in a scene, where the submissive undergoes a spike of adrenaline and endorphins that can cause them to enter varying levels of altered psychological states from a feeling of being high, to a trance-like state where communication can be difficult to establish between a submissive and a Dominant. When a submissive enters subspace, the Dominant must quickly end the scene and release them. At which point, they will monitor the submissive carefully and administer Aftercare.

Aftercare is immensely important for a submissive's well-being. Once subspace subsides, a sub will enter what is called a subdrop, this is an endorphin crash where they will feel weakened, fatigued, and may have difficulty concentrating. A Dominant will care for the submissive, have them drink water, and eat, and provide close contact such as cuddling. They will also discuss the scene, what they liked, what they disliked, if they should try something again or how to do something differently. Without aftercare, a submissive can develop flue-like symptoms, and become depressed. Aftercare solidifies the emotional bond between a Dominant and submissive, and strengthens the trust within the relationship.

And that's all BDSM is, it's a relationship built on a very strong emotional bond, and immense trust between two consenting adults. Because of the stakes within such a dynamic, not communicating isn't an option, doing so can lead to injury or worse. Knowing this as a submissive and a Dominant is extremely important for both of their safety and well-being. I like to argue that BDSM relationships are much more open than regular relationships thanks to this policy, because it's dependent on being very open with your partner to ensure that your emotional and physical needs are met.

Community-wise, the BDSM community is also very open, and most are more than willing to help people interested. There are BDSM clubs, munches (a lunch where practitioners meet up), and conventions. There's tons, and I mean TONS of information online, including several official wikis and forums loaded with information that is helpful and people willing to help out those interested.

That said, having explained these things, there are people within the community to watch out for, because there is always that one. And I feel it irresponsible of me not to give out a fair warning.

Generally, avoid people that call themselves Master/Mistress. These titles are earned, and anyone bragging about their title needs to be avoided greatly. The reason is, at least in typical BDSM culture, is that Master/Mistress is a title given to someone who is very, very experienced and well knowledgeable in BDSM by others in the community.

Secondly, avoid people who say they don't do Aftercare, or that it's not important. Or that they don't do safewords. This is a massive red flag for someone who isn't interested in your safety, nor health, and can be a quick road to injury or a really, really bad situation.

Thirdly, avoid coercion. BDSM is about openness and exploring kinks together. You do not have to do anything, and should not do anything outside of your comfort zone.

These types of people are watched out for in the community, and other members will have no issue informing you of who to avoid.

The only other thing left I can think of to talk about is collars. Collars have a special significance in BDSM culture, and it's important to know how they work and what they mean. A collar is a device that the submissive wears around the neck, they come in many varieties, and many styles, and have many functions. There are also two types of collars: a typical collar, and a play-collar. In the typical culture of BDSM, a collar signifies the absolute trust and strength of a bond shared between a Dominant and their submissive.

Do note, that being collared is a voluntary process where the submissive is giving up their power to their Dominant. This is extensively discussed beforehand to determine if that's where both the D/s want their relationship to go, and must be mutually agreed upon. Do not let anyone try and convince you otherwise.

As such, it's significance has a similar weight to an engagement ring for many couples, or a statement that this submissive is 'owned' (collared) and in a relationship with their Dominant. When a submissive wears a collar, it is usually given to them by their Dominant, and only the Dominant is allowed to remove the collar (barring cases such as medical emergencies).

It's important to know that you shouldn't touch or mess with the collar of a submissive who belongs to another Dominant. Collaring a submissive may have certain rituals and traditions associated with it, and generally a Dominant may lay down a series of rules for a submissive who has been collared (breaking of these rules results in punishment for the submissive as an example, and a submissive may willingly try and break the rules to get punished).

The other type of collar is a play-collar. These are also worn around the neck, but are temporary and used in a particular scene. Often, they are fastened to a rope or chain, a lead, and allow the Dominant to lead their submissive around. Once the scene has finished, they are removed.

Finally, as I pointed out in another post. Ask, ask, ask. I cannot stress this enough. If you don't know something, ask. It's really for your well-being, and we'd all rather you have fun, and do so in a healthy, and safe manner. This is especially important for Dominants. Because you will be responsible for the well-being of a submissive, and are also exploring things yourself, it's important you ask and try to learn as much as you can.

My rule of thumb is: If you're not sure, don't do it. There's also nothing wrong with a Dominant playing a submissive to learn. Trust me, no one's going to think anything less of you, the community isn't one to judge.

So, remember. Safe. Sane. Consensual. This is what separates BDSM from abuse. The former is all about the bond, the trust, and the exploration. The latter cares nothing for that.

Oh, I'm aware there is a lot of talk of consent in the BDSM community, I've heard it all before, my ex was extremely into it and would talk about her experiences to no end.

That's the whole point though, I question the ability of the abused partner to give consent the same way I would question the judgement of an abused partner deciding to to stay in any relationship. The poor sap who shaves his eyebrows, gets his testicles bruised, and then pays his abuser for fucking him up doesn't sound healthy to me, same way the abuser doesn't sound healthy, same way both sides of rape fetishists don't either.

Most fetishes are harmless, but BDSM is in a very, very grey zone as far as I am concerned.

The wall of text you posted ends with talks of forming a bond of trust and exploration between partners, well let me ask you, do you seriously think the woman in the OP trusts or is emotionally attached in any way to her clients? I don't think it's very likely.

The woman in the OP is a sociopath. My source is a victim of abuse herself and is calm and compassionate most of the time.

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

Is this the first time you've heard of people doing this stuff? Is this the first time that youtube what's-his-name has heard of people doing this stuff??
Wow. This is nothing compared to some of the other consensual domination fetish activities. These are just child's play for guys with absolutely no self respect. And romantic suicide themes? That is more common than you appear to think. This is some weak sauce dude.
Also, Is that guy James Defranco's brother or something?

 

[Sonmi]

The woman in the OP is a sociopath.

But she and her clients would still claim their relationship is completely "consensual", which leads back to my point about people in those circumstances potentially being unable to distinguish an abusive relationship from one that is healthy.

I know there are for whom this kind of kink works, yet I still believe it's too open to abuse, and should not be normalized. As one who used to engage in self-harm when I was at the lowest of my lows, it think it there is always a better alternative, even if at the moment getting whipped is the only way to get your rocks off.

 

[happyninja42]

The woman in the OP is a sociopath.

But she and her clients would still claim their relationship is completely "consensual", which leads back to my point about people in those circumstances potentially being unable to distinguish an abusive relationship from one that is healthy.

I know there are for whom this kind of kink works, yet I still believe it's too open to abuse, and should not be normalized. As one who used to engage in self-harm when I was at the lowest of my lows, it think it there is always a better alternative, even if at the moment getting whipped is the only way to get your rocks off.

I'm not into BDSM myself, but I know many people who are, and I doubt they would disagree that what is being shown on this clip, isn't a healthy BDSM relationship. There is a lot of trust and agreement in a healthy BDSM, and it's not just one person berating the other because they feel they deserve it. And they will frequently tell you that the roles have a time and place, and aren't a 24/7 kind of thing (for most of them). So I wouldn't really use this woman as a barometer for what is the common/standard form of BDSM, or what should be emulated by others. She's most likely what would be considered an outlier in her behavior.

 

[Sonmi]

The woman in the OP is a sociopath.

But she and her clients would still claim their relationship is completely "consensual", which leads back to my point about people in those circumstances potentially being unable to distinguish an abusive relationship from one that is healthy.

I know there are for whom this kind of kink works, yet I still believe it's too open to abuse, and should not be normalized. As one who used to engage in self-harm when I was at the lowest of my lows, it think it there is always a better alternative, even if at the moment getting whipped is the only way to get your rocks off.

I'm not into BDSM myself, but I know many people who are, and I doubt they would disagree that what is being shown on this clip, isn't a healthy BDSM relationship. There is a lot of trust and agreement in a healthy BDSM, and it's not just one person berating the other because they feel they deserve it. And they will frequently tell you that the roles have a time and place, and aren't a 24/7 kind of thing (for most of them). So I wouldn't really use this woman as a barometer for what is the common/standard form of BDSM, or what should be emulated by others. She's most likely what would be considered an outlier in her behavior.

Of course this woman isn't the standard, but she represents a nasty reality of the whole kink: the inability of the far-gone to properly consent. The individuals she's taking advantage of are hurting, they are clearly not well, and that kind of behaviour can cause a lot of damage to one's psyche, even moreso if repeatedly.

Again, I'm not unfamiliar with BDSM, I dated people that were into it and part of the community, I know there is the potential for these relationships to be healthy. I simply think the potential for abuse and permanent physical/psychological damage is too great to endorse this lifestyle.

To oversimplify my position, I'd say that that specific fetish is the alternative lifestyle equivalent of the pit bull in the dog owner community. Yeah, I'm sure it can be very nice, I've met nice ones myself, but I'm sorry, I'm still wary of it because of the comparative danger it can cause.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

The woman in the OP is a sociopath.

But she and her clients would still claim their relationship is completely "consensual", which leads back to my point about people in those circumstances potentially being unable to distinguish an abusive relationship from one that is healthy.

I know there are for whom this kind of kink works, yet I still believe it's too open to abuse, and should not be normalized. As one who used to engage in self-harm when I was at the lowest of my lows, it think it there is always a better alternative, even if at the moment getting whipped is the only way to get your rocks off.

I'm not into BDSM myself, but I know many people who are, and I doubt they would disagree that what is being shown on this clip, isn't a healthy BDSM relationship. There is a lot of trust and agreement in a healthy BDSM, and it's not just one person berating the other because they feel they deserve it. And they will frequently tell you that the roles have a time and place, and aren't a 24/7 kind of thing (for most of them). So I wouldn't really use this woman as a barometer for what is the common/standard form of BDSM, or what should be emulated by others. She's most likely what would be considered an outlier in her behavior.

Of course this woman isn't the standard, but she represents a nasty reality of the whole kink: the inability of the far-gone to properly consent. The individuals she's taking advantage of are hurting, they are clearly not well, and that kind of behaviour can cause a lot of damage to one's psyche, even moreso if repeatedly.

Pretty much this.

This isn't a Woman abusing men, how delightfully absurd story! to me. This is a... group of consenting adults not properly understanding what they are willfully consenting to, story. A trusting the wrong individual because you so desperately desire the rush story.

I mean a person on video crying over tweeting the opposite gender, that's friggin' extreme no?

 

[DudeistBelieve]

No no. you're confusing him with guys like Keemstar and Scarce, they're the ones who do that kind of TMZ psuedo celebrity bullshit.

PhillyD covers news. He's not covering this because he's up and arms about it and just found out about it (like I'm doing) he's covering it because "This is what the internet is up in arms about" It's a watch this and get a pulse of what the community cares about type deal. He reports on fluff like this all the way to hard news like whats going on with the elections.

Is the internet "up in arms", though? This is the first I've heard of it and apparently her twitter is deactivated?

I mean, I'm just going off of the thread, though, because I'm not watching an 11 minute video of someone moaning about a twitter account.

I don't really watch his videos much but from what I've seen the headline story usually takes up 3-5 minutes at most and he talks about other stuff. Hes closer to a human newsfeed and not really internet paparazzi.

This. Defranco doesn't just rift on a topic for 10 minutes like some brain dead idiot.

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

I've never been able to tell if Philly D is simply unlikable or very unlikable...

He just comes off as so face-smackingly face smackable.

 

[DoPo]

No no. you're confusing him with guys like Keemstar and Scarce, they're the ones who do that kind of TMZ psuedo celebrity bullshit.

PhillyD covers news. He's not covering this because he's up and arms about it and just found out about it (like I'm doing) he's covering it because "This is what the internet is up in arms about" It's a watch this and get a pulse of what the community cares about type deal. He reports on fluff like this all the way to hard news like whats going on with the elections.

Is the internet "up in arms", though? This is the first I've heard of it and apparently her twitter is deactivated?

I mean, I'm just going off of the thread, though, because I'm not watching an 11 minute video of someone moaning about a twitter account.

I don't really watch his videos much but from what I've seen the headline story usually takes up 3-5 minutes at most and he talks about other stuff. Hes closer to a human newsfeed and not really internet paparazzi.

This. Defranco doesn't just rift on a topic for 10 minutes like some brain dead idiot.

Cool, now that we have definitely established what the length of the video is something less than 10-11 minuts, anyone mind answering the actual question that was asked? Because it wasn't about the video duration.

Is the Internet "up in arms"?
Reason for asking this is that it's very easy to point at something rather insignificant and say "See the INTERNET is up in arms about this topic" which is an underhanded "news" tactic.

Where is that happening?
I suppose it might be true but "up in arms" is very relative. Say, the ME3 debacle was relevant to the gaming community, while people outside of that might have never even heard of it. Things usually extent to only a community which might be rather big (gaming community) or relatively small (single website). So, when saying "people" it's important to specify who they are - all people? I find it hard to believe. All people within community X? Maybe, who knows. All people on website X? Depending on the website it might warrant an "OK" or it might just lead to "...so?". Alice and Bob only (a.k.a. just a few)? I guess they are people but why would they be that relevant?

When did "up in arms" become something automatically worthy of being covered by somebody as (apparently) esteemed as Mr DeFranco?
There are a lot of things that I bet you he hasn't covered, nor has anybody else "high profile", and it's issues that have people "up in arms" as well. And with good reason - it's usually not relevant. Not to the wider public, at least.

 

[PsychicTaco115]

Does anyone know where I can contact her? I've been wanting someone to stomp on my balls

Uh, I mean, HOW DARE SHE

HOW
DARE
SHE

 

[Parasondox]

Ladies and Gentlemen... nothing. Whats the outrage here? Femdom BDSM? Welcome to the internet. People have fetishes that they indulge in and this person you speak of is nothing special.

Internet outrage at internet being the internet.

 

[Metalix Knightmare]

The woman in the OP is a sociopath.

But she and her clients would still claim their relationship is completely "consensual", which leads back to my point about people in those circumstances potentially being unable to distinguish an abusive relationship from one that is healthy.

I know there are for whom this kind of kink works, yet I still believe it's too open to abuse, and should not be normalized. As one who used to engage in self-harm when I was at the lowest of my lows, it think it there is always a better alternative, even if at the moment getting whipped is the only way to get your rocks off.

I'm not into BDSM myself, but I know many people who are, and I doubt they would disagree that what is being shown on this clip, isn't a healthy BDSM relationship. There is a lot of trust and agreement in a healthy BDSM, and it's not just one person berating the other because they feel they deserve it. And they will frequently tell you that the roles have a time and place, and aren't a 24/7 kind of thing (for most of them). So I wouldn't really use this woman as a barometer for what is the common/standard form of BDSM, or what should be emulated by others. She's most likely what would be considered an outlier in her behavior.

Of course this woman isn't the standard, but she represents a nasty reality of the whole kink: the inability of the far-gone to properly consent. The individuals she's taking advantage of are hurting, they are clearly not well, and that kind of behaviour can cause a lot of damage to one's psyche, even moreso if repeatedly.

Pretty much this.

This isn't a Woman abusing men, how delightfully absurd story! to me. This is a... group of consenting adults not properly understanding what they are willfully consenting to, story. A trusting the wrong individual because you so desperately desire the rush story.

I mean a person on video crying over tweeting the opposite gender, that's friggin' extreme no?

Never thought the day would come that I would see people (as in plural) with less backbone and self esteem than Jake Rapp.

It's not a fun feeling.

 

[Metalix Knightmare]

Ladies and Gentlemen... nothing. Whats the outrage here? Femdom BDSM? Welcome to the internet. People have fetishes that they indulge in and this person you speak of is nothing special.

Internet outrage at internet being the internet.

More like BDSM being taken to a VERY unhealthy extreme. Seriously, one of her guys broke down into tears because he tweeted at another woman.

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

Ladies and Gentlemen... nothing. Whats the outrage here? Femdom BDSM? Welcome to the internet. People have fetishes that they indulge in and this person you speak of is nothing special.

Internet outrage at internet being the internet.

More like BDSM being taken to a VERY unhealthy extreme. Seriously, one of her guys broke down into tears because he tweeted at another woman.

Somebody cried because of a tweet? How is that somehow outrage worthy? Bloody hell, Are you aware of the other suffering in this world? People cry all the time for a lot of reasons. I just...ok, are you joking?

 

[Metalix Knightmare]

Ladies and Gentlemen... nothing. Whats the outrage here? Femdom BDSM? Welcome to the internet. People have fetishes that they indulge in and this person you speak of is nothing special.

Internet outrage at internet being the internet.

More like BDSM being taken to a VERY unhealthy extreme. Seriously, one of her guys broke down into tears because he tweeted at another woman.

Somebody cried because of a tweet? How is that somehow outrage worthy? Bloody hell, Are you aware of the other suffering in this world? People cry all the time for a lot of reasons. I just...ok, are you joking?

It's outrage worthy because this is a HORRIBLY broken dude in a relationship with what looks to be a REALLY bad dom. Basically, she's taking advantage of people who need help in order to get her jollies.

Also, the dude cried because he sent a tweet at another woman. Not just for sending a tweet. These dudes are the definition of broken people, and she's REALLY not helping.