So why is it offensive to consider homosexuality as a choice?

[DaWaffledude]

Because, if it were a choice, then homophobes would find it very easy to shift any blame off of themselves.

"it's not our fault they CHOSE to be gay. If they don't like how we feel then they should just stop it."

The idea implies that gay people have evaluated the consequences of being gay in a homophobic society and are mostly fine with it.

 

[Terminal Blue]

Jeez, the dodgy science is out in force already.

We can't technically rule out the possibility that homosexuality may have a "biological" basis. What we can say is that people have been searching for such a thing for over 150 years now and have found precisely nothing to demonstrate that this might be the case. What little evidence there is is either deeply, deeply flawed or cannot be reliably repeated.

At this point, I think it's more offensive to assume that homosexuality is something so abnormal it requires a specific anatomical explanation, because no "heterosexual" has ever had desires, fantasies or feelings towards anyone of the same sex. Oh, wait, actually an awful lot of people have.

snip

To be honest, I kind of see what you're getting at.

I personally feel it can be very affirmative to say that homosexuality is a choice, not in the sense that the sexual attraction itself is a choice, but in the sense that choosing to live a life in accordance with desires, choosing not to compromise yourself for other people is a choice, and it's a choice worth making.

This is something I think we very much owe to the pride movement, because part of the ethos of pride is affirming that you aren't just a slave to something you know is wrong, that being different to other people does not devalue your existence. In the past, people often assumed that being gay (or even openly bi) would doom you to a life of loneliness and unhappiness followed by suicide or disease. That's not true any more, and I think there's something to be said for celebrating the choices we do have rather than, essentially, looking for ways to apologize for being what you are.

However, we also have to deal with a world in which some people still believe homosexuality can be "cured", and where some gay people are deeply, deeply unhappy with their sexuality, and right now there are some very manipulative people in the world who are making a lot of money out of offering those people treatments which simply don't work and which are generally highly abusive and horrific in what they actually end up doing.

Thus, it depends on how you phrase it. Simply saying "homosexuality is a choice" without clarifying what you mean might be read as insulting, but I think if you are willing to qualify what you're talking about it need not be.

Or to put it very very simply, there's a problem right now and the problem is that saying "homosexuality is a choice" generally entails an unspoken "..therefore, you should choose to be straight".

 

[TrulyBritish]

As for me, I'm asexual; so frankly, you're all weird.

LOL!!! How exactly is one "asexual?"
Do you just divide at will?!? Lol are you strictly monogamous in regards to loving yourself?

Sometimes I like to think of myself as "BUYsexual"

You BUY me something, I'll get real SEXUAL

No, it means I don't want sex, at all. I have no sexual attarction to anything. We do exist, but tend to be pretty invisible for the obvious reasons . A little group that will always pick cake over sex.

You're telling me there are people who will pick sex over cake? What madness is this?!
OT:You're right and wrong I suppose. Acting on your sexuality is indeed a choice, but actual being homosexual isn't, so you've merely changed the definition of homosexuality to something else. Technically, I guess it isn't offensive, albeit rather ignorant, to call it a choice, but that's rarely the context used, and it's often used as a way to demean or invalidate the LGBT community, as then obviously "it's gay peoples own fault if they're harassed, nothing's forcing them to be all homotastic".

 

[Gor Kur]

Ignorance is always offensive, like racial stereotypes that are "positive" like one race are all good dancers or another race are all good at math.

 

[Angelous Wang]

The problem is that bisexuality can be a choice rather than a "born with", and it throws of peoples views of homosexuality.

I've know of quite a few men who were only attracted to women sexually but like to be on bottom end of anal sex with men just because of the different sexual pleasures of it.

So in reality they have chosen to be bisexual based on the fact they like to have occasional sex with men, but on an "born with" attraction level they are still completely heterosexual and don't find men attractive at all.

And of course homosexuality is not the same, heterosexual are born attracted to their same gender.

CAPTCHA= i'm blushing

Guess Captcha is a bit sexually repressed.

But because of the fact some people can choose to have sex with a gender they are not attracted to it causes confusion and sexuality gets viewed as a choice, even though it is not.

Well you make a point...maybe....that it's possible for some people to have sex with the same gender and not be attracted to them (I suppose enough testosterone makes it possible?) however....since you know these guys, I have to ask: they like getting it from other men, but do they also deliver? Change positions, I mean? Because I can think of nothing that would kill my sexual mood more than seeing some guy's hairy ass...

No, they do it for the sexual pleasure of bottoming, nothing more, though a few of them have gotten blowjobs afterwards whilst watching porn.

Though that said I also do know a guy who is also only actually attracted to women but fucks men. He has some power fetish an having another guy be his "*****" gets him off even though he is not attracted to the guy.

 

[Caiphus]

Just going on the OP, I guess he's correct: Being homosexual isn't a choice, but partaking in gay sex is a choice. Just like every other action.

The salient point that most people are making, although it's questionable if they've actually read the OP past the title, is that this is not usually what people mean when they say homosexuality is a choice. People usually mean that the orientation itself is a choice, which is then used to dismiss gay rights out of hand. So that's the part that is offensive.

Recognising that having gay sex is a choice isn't really a huge discovery though. I mean, it's not like gay people are magnets that just can't help but fuck each other when they meet.

Edit: That said, the title is misleading, so..

 

[Mimicmatter]

As a scientific, I like to find anwser the scientific way. I rapidly search scientific article and foudn out this particular article, quite recent to say that much explain what we know so far about homosexuality.

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/bies.201300033/pdf

This article publish in Bioassays mainly say that homosexuality is epigenetic.

What does it mean simply is that there is genetic predominance toward homosexuality but not alone can lead to it, environnement will play a major role next. Meaning that two people having that had exactly the same live but one as the predominance and the other one doesn't have it, they will not have the same sexual orientation. Same thing, two perfect twin with the same DNA can end up one being gay and the other not because they didn't had the total same environnement (yeah meaning just a simple change like being at the left instead of the right could have a impact).

Next they point out that homosexuality do exist in the animal species. I think we could agree that animal doesn't really act upon choice, but upon instinct, meaning homosexuality is not a choice.

Having that said, saying that homosexuality is a choice is like saying 2 + 2 = 5. If someone would constantly said to you that 2 + 2 = 5, you would eventually be pissed by his comment.

In the end, some people publicly say that homosexuality is a choice to demonize while they don't have any idea what they are talking about and it's up to us to defend ourself after that.

 

[Mid Boss]

How many people would CHOOSE to be homosexual with half the damn country of the mind to drag them out of their homes and stone them to death?

"You know, it's worth being seen as less than human, wondering if someone will drag me into an alley and beat me to death, as long as I get some of that sweet sweet ass sex." - Said no one fucking ever.

 

[VaporWare]

I served as a member of the armed forces of the United States of America under Don't Ask Don't Tell.

I chose, of my own free will, to not engage in the sexual activities to which I was predisposed, for a period of six years to preserve my standing and career until other circumstances rendered it untenable and I left. Before that, I maintained a strongly hetero-normative life to avoid the hostility that I felt would come from stepping out of the closet.

People choose to act on their sexuality, including heterosexuality, all the time. Often, they do not think of themselves as acting on anything. But you can tell that, for instance, heterosexuals act on their sexual orientation on a fairly regular basis on account of we're all here having this conversation.

Is sexuality a choice?

I believe it is. Or, rather, how we compose ourselves based on our sexuality is. We are all predisposed towards, to one degree or another, a given choice of sexuality. Being predisposed to a particular answer doesn't mean you don't have a choice, it just means you know the answer you /want/, or the answer you need to reach emotional and psychological consonance.

It may not always be the best choice under the circumstances in which you make it. It may not always be the safest. But it's your choice to make, and I don't think it's right to take that from someone any more than I think it's right for us to create a condition in which such a choice becomes so perilously difficult to make.

It shouldn't be any harder for a homosexual to choose to live openly as a homosexual than it is for a heterosexual to choose to live as a heterosexual...a choice so easy we don't even notice that it is being made every day.

But I don't believe it's right to deny someone agency, particularly over so powerful and personal a subject, by waving genetics and hormones and unilaterally declaring that they are helpless before the engines of their body. It's no righter to say that, than it is to say they make that choice to spite you, or that it's a trivial choice or to threaten suffering and damnation for making that choice.

That sort of coercion, to satiate any form of greed, is evil.

Why is it considered offensive to regard sexuality as a choice?

I believe Piorn has the right of it here.
Because most people who suggest that it is do so under the misapprehension that there is only one right choice, and that anyone choosing otherwise is doing it to spite them and (worse) to spite 'god', irrespective of whether or not the subject of the choice being made even factors such.

We should try not to be guilty of the same sin.

 

[Able Seaman Staines]

In answer to this question "why is it considered insulting to suggest homosexuality is a choice" is because homosexuality is NOT a choice, it is something you are forced into at knife point in your early teens. That was a joke btw, albeit a somewhat sick one. However this whole forum question is somewhat dodgy in the whole "don't be a dick" sense of the posting guidelines, so people in glass houses and so forth...

 

[Kaymish]

i think the reason is because given that it is from what i understand not a choice and that by referring to it as such trivializes the situations many homosexuals find themselves in, in terms of bigotry and discrimination

 

[Vivi22]

So no you can't choose not to be allergic to eggs, but you choose to eat them or not.

Pretty poor comparison since choosing not to eat eggs doesn't mean going the rest of your life without food.

 

[viranimus]

The answer to the question is simple really. It is seen offensive because the concept of it not being a choice is needed to provide traction in the pursuit of recognition and rights. It is easier to dismiss something if it is seen as optional. However it is harder to rationalize and justify depriving people of something when the factor of which it is being deprived is seen as being beyond control. So it is seen as offensive because it is seen as cutting the legs out of a group by calling into question much of the work done to gain credibility and recognition.

 

[randomrob1968]

it is offensive to consider it a choice because no-one should ever have to explain who they are to someone who wants to reduce them to bits and pieces.... as a game, to kill time.

 

[nyarlathotepsama]

So, do you choose that spinach taste good to you, and do you choose not to be allergic to eggs?

Hey that isn't fair. I said that I understand that you can't choice where your sexual preference lies. So no you can't choose not to be allergic to eggs, but you choose to eat them or not.

So you're saying that I, as a homosexual man, can't choose that I am homosexual but I can choose to not have sex with men? Well that is an interesting view I'll give you that, but one I've heard more than a dozen times from my own family. "Hey (Insert real name here) I know you are attracted to men but if you'd just stop having sex with them we'll allow you to come to Christmas dinner." I guess it makes a kind of sense, but it leaves me with no other "choice" than to not have sex at all. That's what is offensive about calling it a choice; it is insulting and accusatory to tell someone that their inborn sexual desires are a choice they can simply ignore or even inverted on a whim.

The rub of the situation is that if homosexuality was a choice no sane person would choose it on the grounds that people discriminate against us and seek to do us harm. They do so over stupid, school yard reasoning too; they think homosexuality is icky and it makes them uncomfortable and in turn they throw rocks at it to make it go away. However homosexuality is as old as mankind itself and isn't going away anytime soon so they should just accept it and move on.

I actually sort of believe you do have an issue with homosexuals rutger5000, no insult either I'll explain, because of the quote above. Having a problem with someones' lifestyle isn't really a terrible thing, people don't like things they don't understand it is part of human condition and I never judge people on their views of my personal sexuality. I actually know a few people who are the reverse; homosexuals that hate heterosexuals and I tend to find them much more offensive than the other way around. People need only be tolerant of others and nothing more, no need for universal acceptance or grossly over simplified "can't we all just along" mentality, we are human beings and thus, as history has shown, we cannot all just get along. However if we all just tolerate each others' differences then we'll be just fine as far I'm concerned.

But on homosexuality as a choice... the answer is no, a resounding no back up by my intimate knowledge of the culture and personal experiences of myself and a fair sized group of others. I just want you to know that none of this is wrathful or angry but instead just an explanation of how and why such an opinion can be call offensive, as per the threads name. Thanks for reading my long ass posts, I just can't seem to keep them under three paragraphs wherever I go and I blame my job.

 

[IamLEAM1983]

Seriously, OP?

You can choose to try out new foods, but you can't choose which ones you like and which ones you don't. Taste - as in repulsion or attraction to certain foods - is very much a hind brain thing over which we have no control whatsoever. Sexual preferences work in the exact same way. Yes, I could choose to get into a threesome and have a taste of both universes; but I wouldn't be able to consciously determine in which camp I'm going to belong.

Homosexuality being a choice would imply that there's a switch you could flip on or off, somewhere, that would change the deepest aspects of your personality. Yoink, I'm attracted to woman around my age range for the night! Yoink, now I'm attracted to slightly older men!

Consider the way your own crushes have panned out over the years. I'm assuming you're old enough to have had some, and that you've experienced some before. You can't just choose to be attracted to one girl instead of another; there's something deeply rooted inside you that's going to dictate the outcome of that situation. You can very consciously choose to ask both girls out, but which one you'll really stick with is something you can't readily choose. Not everything in a relationship is the result of a conclusive first date and a few fun outings and discussions. Sometimes, you end up clicking with the last person you'd ever have suspected of being the right match.

And that's what's going on with gays and lesbians. They don't choose who they're attracted to, they can't choose which personality type they're going to feel adequately stimulated by - most of it just *happens*.

Seriously, who you love and, on some level, who you mate with is probably the one set of most primitive decisions we've inherited from our primate ancestors. Love and lust are some of the most basic impulses in the world, so it stands to reason we'd be as much enslaved to them as animals are.

 

[Spiderfro]

I don't think most people are thinking on the same wavelength when this conversation goes in to place. On one regard, most things in the mind are not static- they can be changed. On another, that doesn't stop aberrations like this from being automatic. I refuse to believe all of this nonsense where people say "sexuality is hardwired at birth." On the other hand, something needs to be understood about the other end.

Essentially, what you are asking could be asked of you. Assuming you're heterosexual, can you stop yourself from being attracted to women? I'm not talking about acting on impulses in any way, but can you actually stop yourself from automatically being attracted to any woman?

Unfortunately, most people are blathering idiots, and instead of complex answers they want one-liner soundbites.

 

[Shadowstar38]

OP. OP. OP!

Would you bang her? Well why not? Oh? What's that? You're nethers can't foster up levels of enthusiasm for that to be done?

Well do that but for everything with boobs and there's your problem.

If you're a girl insert picture of Kevin Smith and you get the point.