So your over-powered army of awesome has just conquered the world in your name...what now?

[Mastercylinder]

Protect ME!

No really I'm not kidding.

Keep my ass from getting fried and investigate all the secret crap that the government hides, like Area 51, all the undergound "Vaults", and where all the Dairy Queens in southern California went.

 

[Fr]anc[is]

 

[Jaime_Wolf]

But seriously, how is Demarchy not a step in the right direction? Every intelligent citizen of earth will have (near) instant communication with anyone and everyone else, there will be no elections as all decisions will be made by everyone directly affected by said decision.

I'm not sure I follow you. First you mention demarchy, then you mention direct democracy. The two are pretty different things. Demarchy has some benefits and also a tremendous number of problems - it eliminates the problem of special interests leveraging the election process, but it also allows for completely corrupt individuals to be selected as representatives. Also, demarchy generally (at least historically) doesn't mean dictatorship (the representatives cannot, for instance, designate successors). The idea of direct democracy is a very enticing one, though it also has problems - you have no way of ensuring that the people voting are knowledgeable in any way about the issue, if you require them to be knowledgeable, the number of voters will drop precipitously, we lack the resources currently to do this, the number of things that would come to a vote daily would interfere with the basic functioning of society, especially if people need to educate themselves before voting on an issue, and it's effectively impossible to give a reasonable estimate of who would be affected by a decision if you only want to let them vote.

But even that is not ideal, if you want PROOF of the success of the benefits of world-wide dictatorial control than look no further: It is PROVEN that any creature of any species will act in such a way as to maximize its own reproductive success (unless its retarded or something).

Not only is that unproven, it's untrue and borderline ridiculous. Evolution causes people (and animals) to tend toward behaviours that enable reproductive success. But evolved systems lose their reproductive utility regularly without disappearing, evolved systems often come with things that might even be detrimental to reproduction (so long as the overall effect is one of even slight advantage), and there's also the possibility of truly random variation (though that last bit is still a matter of active debate).

In any such species, every individual will possess differing genetic and behavioral characteristics (Behavioral characteristics are obviously linked to genetic characteristics, but are also based on environment. The magnitude of the effects these sources have on beavior is debatable.) that the creature will subconciously use to maximize his/her own reproductive success. Again, this has all been PROVEN.

Again, this hasn't been "proven" and no self-respecting expert would ever make such a blanket statement. People regularly do things that are extremely detrimental to their chance at reproductive success. You're making a mistake about how evolution works: each change benefits reproductive success at the time it is introduced. Afterwards, changes in environment and the evolution of further complexity can easily render an evolved behaviour counterproductive to success. As an aside, evolution occurs in environments. Virtually all genetic variation is a means of achieving reproductive success in concert with the environment, so it's actually not quite so necessary to draw the environment/genetic line that people seem to enjoy arguing over.

Now, what is ideal for the individual is almost NEVER ideal for the species as a whole. This is simply because, all creatures are willing to "cheat" to win. An example: every member of a species is a pansy except for a minority of creatures with what we'll call "assholes" who only steal food from the hardworking "pansies". Obviously, the ideal situation for the species is to not have any "assholes", but because "assholes" have such a strong advantage over "pansies" while they are in the minority, the "assholes" will prosper and the "pansies" will decline in number. Ultimately this scenario will stabalize at some ratio of "assholes" and "pansies", because a society of mostly "assholes" would starve becase they are unwilling to get food for themselves.

First, there's active debate on whether the good of the group ever has a strong influence on evolution, so I'm not going to touch that aspect. The idea that what's good for the individual isn't good for the group is, however, a pretty untrue generalisation so far as evolution and the proliferation of a species is concerned (I don't have any particular examples, but there's general consensus about this).

Finally, I'd like to offer a complication you're not considering. Consider for a moment that that guy who steals the food is an "asshole". Do you think you just happen to think that he's an asshole for no reason? We've adapted (genetically or, plausibly, memetically) to think of people like that as "assholes" to further our own reproductive agendas and it limits the reproductive utility of their behaviour.

This final scenario is what we see in the real world.

Except that it isn't. And unless you want to go with Orwellian fascism, you're also not going to stop people from being assholes, nor do you really need to.

Food for thought.

 

[Xenetethrae]

Ah, I see I have a worthy opponent, where shall I start... Just kidding.

Long Post Warning:

But seriously, how is Demarchy not a step in the right direction? Every intelligent citizen of earth will have (near) instant communication with anyone and everyone else, there will be no elections as all decisions will be made by everyone directly affected by said decision.

I'm not sure I follow you. First you mention demarchy, then you mention direct democracy. The two are pretty different things. Demarchy has some benefits and also a tremendous number of problems - it eliminates the problem of special interests leveraging the election process, but it also allows for completely corrupt individuals to be selected as representatives. Also, demarchy generally (at least historically) doesn't mean dictatorship (the representatives cannot, for instance, designate successors). The idea of direct democracy is a very enticing one, though it also has problems - you have no way of ensuring that the people voting are knowledgeable in any way about the issue, if you require them to be knowledgeable, the number of voters will drop precipitously, we lack the resources currently to do this, the number of things that would come to a vote daily would interfere with the basic functioning of society, especially if people need to educate themselves before voting on an issue, and it's effectively impossible to give a reasonable estimate of who would be affected by a decision if you only want to let them vote.

In hindsight, I should not have referenced Demarchy in the post you are referring to. I was shamelessly plugging my previous post and it made no sense in this context. When I refer to Demarchy, I am- by no means- associating it with Dictatorship in any way. And yes, we currently lack the technology to become a true demarchist society, but seeing as this is all hypothetical, I fail to see how this is an issue. Finally, ensuring an adequately informed and logically-thinking populus necessary for a demarchy to even be remotely possible of functioning would be difficult I'll admit. But the basic premise is that their are no voter limitations; it is up to the voters to decide what is worthy of their time and what they simply have no knowledge about.

In a demcratic republic, before elected officials vote on an issue they have no knowledge about, they recieve briefing on the issue by experts in the field and hear arguments from lobbyists who represent those on either side of the issue. In a demarchy, the only difference is the removal of the elected official. Voters who so choose can listen to the lobbyist's appeals and can choose to make themselves knowledgable on the issue if they so desire. The fact that there are too many issues for everyone to effectively vote on is curbed by the fact that everyone can vote on an issue with little to no effort whatsoever(via implants).

But even that is not ideal, if you want PROOF of the success of the benefits of world-wide dictatorial control than look no further: It is PROVEN that any creature of any species will act in such a way as to maximize its own reproductive success (unless its retarded or something).

Not only is that unproven, it's untrue and borderline ridiculous. Evolution causes people (and animals) to tend toward behaviours that enable reproductive success. But evolved systems lose their reproductive utility regularly without disappearing, evolved systems often come with things that might even be detrimental to reproduction (so long as the overall effect is one of even slight advantage), and there's also the possibility of truly random variation (though that last bit is still a matter of active debate).

Yes, so vestigial organs and certain hardwired muscle reflexes may not be very useful to us now, but they were at some point in our evolutionary development as a species. If wide-scale differences existed in a trait that directly alters the reproductive success of indviduals of the same species, then evolution will favor those with the traits that grant them improved reproductive success. I did not mean to imply that a creature will evolve certain traits to attain better reproductive success (although that certainly does look like what I typed). I meant that evloution will favor the creature whose traits allow him/her/it more reproductive success than the average of the species. Contrary to what my previous post seemed to imply, I do know what I am talking about in regards to evolution, I just fail to take the time to write out the accepted vernacular.

In any such species, every individual will possess differing genetic and behavioral characteristics (Behavioral characteristics are obviously linked to genetic characteristics, but are also based on environment. The magnitude of the effects these sources have on beavior is debatable.) that the creature will subconciously use to maximize his/her own reproductive success. Again, this has all been PROVEN.

Again, this hasn't been "proven" and no self-respecting expert would ever make such a blanket statement. People regularly do things that are extremely detrimental to their chance at reproductive success. You're making a mistake about how evolution works: each change benefits reproductive success at the time it is introduced. Afterwards, changes in environment and the evolution of further complexity can easily render an evolved behaviour counterproductive to success. As an aside, evolution occurs in environments. Virtually all genetic variation is a means of achieving reproductive success in concert with the environment, so it's actually not quite so necessary to draw the environment/genetic line that people seem to enjoy arguing over.

Since its debatable whether or not humans are continuing to evolve due to natural selection (I believe that we aren't), assume I am talking about wild lions in the African savannah. However again here I make a blunder of jargon-tastic proportions. I meant that evolution will favor the traits responsible for increased reproductive success with increased distribution of said traits throughout the species. In a ridiculously simplistic example: if trait A is better than trait B, then in the next generation there should be an increased % of trait A in the general population whereas the % of trait B should decline (actual #'s may both increase or both decline or A increase while B declines).

I referred to the nature/nurture debate for precisely this reason, I did not want to spark the debate. I merely wanted to say the environment has an obvious impact on development, but its unknown as to the extent to which differences in environments can lead to different traits (or differing degrees of established traits).

Now, what is ideal for the individual is almost NEVER ideal for the species as a whole. This is simply because, all creatures are willing to "cheat" to win. An example: every member of a species is a pansy except for a minority of creatures with what we'll call "assholes" who only steal food from the hardworking "pansies". Obviously, the ideal situation for the species is to not have any "assholes", but because "assholes" have such a strong advantage over "pansies" while they are in the minority, the "assholes" will prosper and the "pansies" will decline in number. Ultimately this scenario will stabalize at some ratio of "assholes" and "pansies", because a society of mostly "assholes" would starve becase they are unwilling to get food for themselves.

First, there's active debate on whether the good of the group ever has a strong influence on evolution, so I'm not going to touch that aspect. The idea that what's good for the individual isn't good for the group is, however, a pretty untrue generalisation so far as evolution and the proliferation of a species is concerned (I don't have any particular examples, but there's general consensus about this).

Read the book, The Selfish Gene, by Richard Dawkins. Its been around since '76 and is still almost universally accepted as fact. Quick example, in it he describes a species of "doves" and "hawks" (these words describe their behavior, they are of the same species). Doves find food but won't fight for food, hawks find food too, but will fight others for food. Everyone gets the most food as a whole if everyone is a dove, but such a species of pure doves will never exist in nature. The hawks (who will always exist at some point because behavioral traits can always develop in a population where it was never present before) will have a huge advantage over the doves because they don't have to fight for food or search for it, they just go to a dove and the dove runs away. But that changes when there get to be too many hawks. At a certain population %, hawks will be seriously wounding one another over food, while the doves would escape the same situation unscathed. Ultimately (for lack of time on my part to better explain it) these two behavioral traits tend to balance out in equilibrium. At equilibrium the average reproductive success of hawks is the same as that of the doves. However, the average reproductive success will ALWAYS be less than that of an ideal population of only Doves. If it isn't less and is the same, then there were never any differences in the relative reproductive success rates of the two genes (which is a ridiculaous assumption, because why else would the popuation have shifted so dramatically if it wasn't because evolution favored one trait over another?).

Finally, I'd like to offer a complication you're not considering. Consider for a moment that that guy who steals the food is an "asshole". Do you think you just happen to think that he's an asshole for no reason? We've adapted (genetically or, plausibly, memetically) to think of people like that as "assholes" to further our own reproductive agendas and it limits the reproductive utility of their behaviour.

Before I was merely tagging an established behavioral trait. I called them "assholes" because they acted like what most people would call an asshole. Perhaps I associate this type of behavior with assholism because I recognize the impact that these individuals can have on more well-intentioned people. For all intents and purposes, I tend to try to avoid assholes in my daily life. Perhaps this is because of an evolved cognisense that such individuals are a potential threat to my reproducive success and should be avoided, I do not know. Although I'm not quite sure what you mean when you say calling him/her/it an "asshole" furthers my own reproductive agenda.

This final scenario is what we see in the real world.

Except that it isn't. And unless you want to go with Orwellian fascism, you're also not going to stop people from being assholes, nor do you really need to.

Except that this is what we see in the real world as I've said above. No, I do not believe that people will ever stop being assholes unless we are able and willing to alter the fundamental nature of humanity (genetic engineering anyone?). But I don't believe we need to root out "assholism", we need to alter the existing political behemoths which encourage pandering to the lowest common denominator and who blindly cater towards their own private interests rather than seeing the big picture because it can help them in the short run. An effective government cannot EVER look to the short term at the expense of the long term, nor can it afford to blindly appease constituents without looking toward the big picture. At ts base nature, the failings of all current governments are not due to assholism by humanity, but by the inherent lack of checking that which is basic human nature. A government has to have a way to counter assholism to fully achieve coherence and unity. I offered 2 suggestions (rather jokingly at first, but I do actually believe they would be better than what we have now): a complete dictatorship which limits human assholeness in government to 1 person (yes it has its blatant flaws), or a totally in-your-face demarchy which counters assholeness by more assholeness. Both systems also take away most of the inherent assholeness in existing political systems by doing away with them almost altogether.

Hope this cleared up any of what I was trying to say

Wow, thats a lot of assholes... Final count: 24!

 

[Dott]

Enslave humanity, kill all the whores, invade the universe.

Strangely enough, you sound a LOT like a character from a trilogy of books I'm reading... Kylock, prince (and later, king) of the Four Kingdoms from JV. Jones' "Book of Words" trilogy

I understand why this is strange! I am the Duke Dottorius, not some fancy prince.

Admittedly, however, I have also been called the King of The Damned.

 

[kickassfrog]

Ok, I will probably be back repeatedly to add on any later decisions, but here goes:

1. Set up global military command, all countries will contribute troops. Anyone rebelling against my rule will face open and pleasant negotiations to bring them back into the fold, followed by a tactical nuclear strike if they refuse.
2. Start work on a fleet of space ships- we want to get off this planet before we burn it into ash, and frankly pointing the people of various religious beliefs in different directions and saying "don't kill each other, there's plenty of space over yonder in which you can believe in your own god and not fight all the time"
3. Voluntary unemployment. Anyone unemployed and not looking for work within a year will be sent to the ore mines of mars, or something equally unpleasant- therefore trying to find a job is the more pleasant solution.
4. Criminals- the life ruining criminals (rapists, murderers, paedophiles etc.) will be put to death, or at least forced labour with a kill collar that will blast them with a deadly amount of electricity if they try to escape. Lesser criminals (thieves, muggers etc.) will be forced to work to pay off the victims and/or damages of their crime, and then put on a criminal list. Repeated anti-social behaviour will join the worse offenders.
5. No expenses for the govenment. People are greedy, and therefore cannot be trusted with access to lots of free money.
6. Bankers bonuses. No. Just no. You're not losing billions of dollars and then giving yourself a pay rise.
Also, the following (Evil overlord handbook, most if not all rules apply):

1. My legions of terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box.
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
7. When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, "Or are you afraid without your armies to back you up?? my reply will be, "No, just sensible."
8. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No" and shoot him.
9. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
10. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push." The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough not to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such. There will be no Plug.
11. I will not order my trusted lieutenant to kill the infant who is destined to overthrow me -- I'll do it myself.
12. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
13. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
14. I will not waste time making my enemy's death look like an accident - I'm not accountable to anyone and my other enemies wouldn't believe it anyway.
15. I will make it clear that I do know the meaning of the word "mercy"; I simply choose not show them any.
16. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
17. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
18. My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as members of my organization, nor will they be required to wear military boots or adhere to any other dress codes.
19. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
20. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
21. I will design all doomsday machines myself. If I must hire a mad scientist to assist me, I will make sure that he is sufficiently twisted to never regret his evil ways and seek to undo the damage he's caused.
22. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
23. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
24. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
25. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
26. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
27. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my legions of terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi storm troopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
28. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
29. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
30. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
31. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
32. If I am engaged in a duel to the death with the hero and I am fortunate enough to knock the weapon out of his hand, I will graciously allow him to retrieve it. This is not from a sense of fair play; rather, it gives me the opportunity to kill him while he is distracted.
33. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bed chamber.
34. I will never build only one of anything important. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
35. If my supreme command center comes under attack, I will immediately flee to safety in my prepared escape pod and direct the defenses from there. I will not wait until the troops break into my inner sanctum to attempt this.
36. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
37. Even though I don't really care because I plan on living forever, I will hire engineers who are able to build me a fortress sturdy enough that, if I am slain, it won't tumble to the ground for no good structural reason.
38. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
39. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be pre-emptivly put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
40. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
41. Any and all magic and/or technology that can miraculously resurrect a secondary character who has given up his/her life through self sacrifice will be outlawed and destroyed.
42. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
43. I will see to it that plucky young lads/lasses in strange clothes and with the accent of an outlander shall REGULARLY climb some monument in the main square of my capital and denounce me, claim to know the secret of my power, rally the masses to rebellion, etc. That way, the citizens will be jaded in case the real thing ever comes along.
44. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
45. I will not employ devious schemes that involve the hero's party getting into my inner sanctum before the trap is sprung.
46. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
47. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
48. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
49. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
50. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
51. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
52. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable super weapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
53. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
54. I will offer oracles the choice of working exclusively for me or being executed. Those that take more than two seconds to respond will be killed either way.
55. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around. Not that the key will be anywhere near the hero.
56. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans. I will then lie to her, and see if she betrays me.
57. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
58. I will not rely entirely upon "totally reliable" spells that can be neutralized by relatively inconspicuous talisman.
59. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random, totally reliable underling.
60. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?? I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.
61. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
62. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
63. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
64. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh power books. They will also have a virus protection program -- just in case.
65. I will make the main entrance to my fortress standard-sized. While elaborate 60-foot high double-doors definitely impress the masses, they are hard to close quickly in an emergency.
66. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
67. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
68. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!" I will say "Oh well'' and kill her.
69. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
70. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

 

[kickassfrog]

Ok, I will probably be back repeatedly to add on any later decisions, but here goes:

1. Set up global military command, all countries will contribute troops. Anyone rebelling against my rule will face open and pleasant negotiations to bring them back into the fold, followed by a tactical nuclear strike if they refuse.
2. Start work on a fleet of space ships- we want to get off this planet before we burn it into ash, and frankly pointing the people of various religious beliefs in different directions and saying "don't kill each other, there's plenty of space over yonder in which you can believe in your own god and not fight all the time"
3. Voluntary unemployment. Anyone unemployed and not looking for work within a year will be sent to the ore mines of mars, or something equally unpleasant- therefore trying to find a job is the more pleasant solution.
4. Criminals- the life ruining criminals (rapists, murderers, paedophiles etc.) will be put to death, or at least forced labour with a kill collar that will blast them with a deadly amount of electricity if they try to escape. Lesser criminals (thieves, muggers etc.) will be forced to work to pay off the victims and/or damages of their crime, and then put on a criminal list. Repeated anti-social behaviour will join the worse offenders.
5. No expenses for the govenment. People are greedy, and therefore cannot be trusted with access to lots of free money.
6. Bankers bonuses. No. Just no. You're not losing billions of dollars and then giving yourself a pay rise.
Also, the following (Evil overlord handbook, most if not all rules apply):

1. My legions of terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box.
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
7. When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, "Or are you afraid without your armies to back you up?? my reply will be, "No, just sensible."
8. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No" and shoot him.
9. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
10. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push." The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough not to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such. There will be no Plug.
11. I will not order my trusted lieutenant to kill the infant who is destined to overthrow me -- I'll do it myself.
12. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
13. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
14. I will not waste time making my enemy's death look like an accident - I'm not accountable to anyone and my other enemies wouldn't believe it anyway.
15. I will make it clear that I do know the meaning of the word "mercy"; I simply choose not show them any.
16. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
17. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
18. My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as members of my organization, nor will they be required to wear military boots or adhere to any other dress codes.
19. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
20. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
21. I will design all doomsday machines myself. If I must hire a mad scientist to assist me, I will make sure that he is sufficiently twisted to never regret his evil ways and seek to undo the damage he's caused.
22. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
23. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
24. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
25. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
26. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
27. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my legions of terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi storm troopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
28. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
29. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
30. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
31. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
32. If I am engaged in a duel to the death with the hero and I am fortunate enough to knock the weapon out of his hand, I will graciously allow him to retrieve it. This is not from a sense of fair play; rather, it gives me the opportunity to kill him while he is distracted.
33. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bed chamber.
34. I will never build only one of anything important. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
35. If my supreme command center comes under attack, I will immediately flee to safety in my prepared escape pod and direct the defenses from there. I will not wait until the troops break into my inner sanctum to attempt this.
36. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
37. Even though I don't really care because I plan on living forever, I will hire engineers who are able to build me a fortress sturdy enough that, if I am slain, it won't tumble to the ground for no good structural reason.
38. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
39. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be pre-emptivly put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
40. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
41. Any and all magic and/or technology that can miraculously resurrect a secondary character who has given up his/her life through self sacrifice will be outlawed and destroyed.
42. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
43. I will see to it that plucky young lads/lasses in strange clothes and with the accent of an outlander shall REGULARLY climb some monument in the main square of my capital and denounce me, claim to know the secret of my power, rally the masses to rebellion, etc. That way, the citizens will be jaded in case the real thing ever comes along.
44. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
45. I will not employ devious schemes that involve the hero's party getting into my inner sanctum before the trap is sprung.
46. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
47. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
48. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
49. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
50. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
51. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
52. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable super weapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
53. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
54. I will offer oracles the choice of working exclusively for me or being executed. Those that take more than two seconds to respond will be killed either way.
55. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around. Not that the key will be anywhere near the hero.
56. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans. I will then lie to her, and see if she betrays me.
57. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
58. I will not rely entirely upon "totally reliable" spells that can be neutralized by relatively inconspicuous talisman.
59. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random, totally reliable underling.
60. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?? I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.
61. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
62. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
63. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
64. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh power books. They will also have a virus protection program -- just in case.
65. I will make the main entrance to my fortress standard-sized. While elaborate 60-foot high double-doors definitely impress the masses, they are hard to close quickly in an emergency.
66. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
67. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
68. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!" I will say "Oh well'' and kill her.
69. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
70. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

Crud that list is long I was just gonna make G4 put older shows back on like cinematech

Well, it deserves more publicity than it gets, in my opinion

 

[badgersprite]

Make people green-skinned, invent the hoverboard, invent the jet pack, clone dinosaurs, and spend my life diving into a pool full of topless green skinned Swedish supermodels.

I'd forget about philanthropy and altruism once I remember how vain, shallow, materialistic and awesome I am.

 

[Watchmacallit]

The world is mine. Make Pluto a freaking planet!!!!!

That is my first decree.

Secondly, no one is allowed to make posts in forums about ruling MY world >=]

 

[pyramid head grape]

Ah my evil mission was a success.