Something that will never be invented for obvious reasons?

[Last of the Chinchillas]

Exploding coffee mugs, soluble shower heads, edible socks, fireproof starter logs, and cars without wheels.

 

[Ernie Devlin]

A submarine made entirely of lead.
Sunglasses for the back of your head.
Underpants that proclaim that you've soiled yourself.

 

[Lord Thodin]

A button on your TV that actually blows the TV up

A button on your console/PC that causes it to release a mechanical arm that shoots you

 

[Griphphin]

disgusting

Coming from a guy with eatmorebabies as your username? Surely you jest

 

[Kollega]

solar powered flashlights

Solar-powered flashlight has been built by enthusiasts. Google it.

OT: A fireproof matches. A book written in binary. A nuclear-powered toaster (talk about overcompensation).

 

[Baby Eater]

disgusting

Coming from a guy with eatmorebabies as your username? Surely you jest

i eat them but i dont shove cherries in their bums you sick sick man

pretty bad when a baby eater calls you sick

 

[Rational-Delirium]

A combination shower-sponge cheese-grater. Adorn your tacos and get the dead skin off your back at the SAME TIME!!

 

[Syphonz]

a flying lawnmower.

 

[Griphphin]

disgusting

Coming from a guy with eatmorebabies as your username? Surely you jest

i eat them but i dont shove cherries in their bums you sick sick man

pretty bad when a baby eater calls you sick

My apologies good sir, your wisdom has opened my eyes
I shall from this day forward reconsider the flavors of my anal insertions

 

[Heeman89]

a cell phone without the phone function

 

[101194]

Baby skull-seeking bullets.

Well, Time to Get my daily cookie for the day, That's from "The Whitest Kids You Know" On INC Pretty funny stuff. Cookie please?

OP: A Nicotine free Cigarette. Because that's just stupid...

 

[Baby Eater]

disgusting

Coming from a guy with eatmorebabies as your username? Surely you jest

i eat them but i dont shove cherries in their bums you sick sick man

pretty bad when a baby eater calls you sick

My apologies good sir, your wisdom has opened my eyes
I shall from this day forward reconsider the flavors of my anal insertions

good man hopefully everyone can learn of the dangers of flavored anal medicine

 

[aalio]

Flying cars... because you drive on the ground, planes and helicopters are used for flying, duh!

I'd say this, but for another reason, 6 levels of gridlock, and what happens when one car breaks down? Plunges through 6 levels of gridlock killing a lot of people.

 

[JustinOCo]

a christmas-time anti-santa burglary defence system (flamethrowers optional)

A futurama fan I am assuming

 

[SenseOfTumour]

A fire extinguisher that shoots flame.

are you KIDDING? if i saw that for sale, i'd buy 3

I think the word you're looking for is flamethrower.

Reminds me of a favourite Harry Hill line

'My father always used to say to me, 'Fight fire with fire', and that, I imagine, is why he was thrown out of the Fire Brigade'.

I thought this thread was going to be things like the time machine, because of it's paradox possibilities.

 

[Gigano]

Cold-seeking Missiles.

 

[vacuumbrand]

DVD Rewinder.
Oh wait...