SON!! I broke the computer!!

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Littlee300

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Oct 26, 2009
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Chris^^ said:
got a phone call a few weeks back;

Dad: I can't make the sound work on this video
Me: ok, what are you trying to watch it with?
Dad: the video.
Me: yes, the video, what program?
Dad: stop getting so technical, tell me how to make the sound work!
Me [exasperated]: I can't tell you if you won't tell me what programme you're using..
Dad: you're so impatient! forget it!
Me: look, just tell me what you're trying to watch it with.. youtube, media player?
Dad: youtube! that's it!
Me: check the little speaker icon, if it has a cross through it, click it
Dad: erm.. erm... this is complicated... there it is! *labourious clicking sound* it works now! why couldn't you have explained it simply?!
Me: *hangs up*
That is hilarious...
Edit: and slightly sad :p
__________________________________
This forum makes me feel vulnerable because some of the problems i had to have other people fix because there so confusing ):
 

Jodah

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Aug 2, 2008
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My biggest issue is having to explain to my dad how to find stuff on the internet. I've told him hundreds of times, "go to google, type in some key words, and look". He just doesn't understand that you can literally find anything you need by doing that.

Before she passed away my mom always used to get mad when I would turn and talk to her while still typing. She had to look at the keyboard to type, I don't even have to watch the screen most of the time.
 

Virus0015

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Dec 1, 2009
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Outright Villainy said:
Hlain said:
When my mom is borrowing the computer to check some website, she types with only her index fingers. And it goes slooow. Always makes me cringe.
I know a few people (my girlfriend included), who type English essays like that.
They never taught typing in school...
I still type with my index fingers. I remember we had 2 hours of lessons in primary school, which wasn't adequate I have to say.

However now that I have been typing like this for years I'm about as fast as a normal person who types properly, so I don't really care.
 

mew4ever23

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Mar 21, 2008
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Xeros said:
My parents always complain to me that it's my games that are giving the computer viruses while they sit there downloading music off of LimeWire, and refuse to run any fucking anti-virus.
Wow... now that's asking for trouble.. I assume switching computers is not an option (as in using a different machine then the one they're using)?
 

Keepitclean

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Sep 16, 2009
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Virus0015 said:
Outright Villainy said:
Hlain said:
When my mom is borrowing the computer to check some website, she types with only her index fingers. And it goes slooow. Always makes me cringe.
I know a few people (my girlfriend included), who type English essays like that.
They never taught typing in school...
I still type with my index fingers. I remember we had 2 hours of lessons in primary school, which wasn't adequate I have to say.

However now that I have been typing like this for years I'm about as fast as a normal person who types properly, so I don't really care.
In year 8 computer literacy we learned to touch type, or at least we were meant to. As soon as the teacher stopped looking everyone went back to typing their own ways. It was quite funny to listen to. Slow tapping then as soon as the teacher left the room there was an eruption of tap tap tap.

We were all super competitive about who could type the fastest.
 

Xyliss

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Mar 21, 2010
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The best thing I heard was the other day when my mother had bee on the laptop, when she turned it off it started updating (as it does sometimes) and she got really annoyed saying "What is it doing?! I didn't tell it to do that, why is it doing that?! How do you stop it?! It's going to break the laptop!" She wouldn't accept that that's just what they do sometimes no matter how much I explained to her lol
 

SturmDolch

This Title is Ironic
May 17, 2009
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We have no problems with viri here, but my god is my parents' computer slow. They download all this random shit. My dad's desktop looks like a recycle bin threw up over it. When they download something like Skype, or install Norton, they just click Next on everything, clogging up their IE with random add-ons that serve no purpose other than to slow it down.

Yesterday, their mouse wasn't working right. I said right from the start that it's a problem with the USB receiver. But no, my dad gets me to search for manuals online and shit. We find nothing. Go back downstairs to their computer. He's taken out the receiver for the keyboard and won't stop insisting that the mouse works through that as well. I told him its not possible and he actually got mad. Finally he found the USB receiver. It was attached to some USB hub. I asked if the other things attached to it work. Nope. Proceed to unplug USB hub in and out for the next 10 fucking minutes until they get it that it's broken.

Ugh seriously. I have no patience if you ask for my help and then don't take it. Yes, I'm younger than you. But if you doubt my ability with computers, just look at your laptop. Half of the IE browser is toolbars. Toolbars for every random piece of shit concievable.

I've asked my parents if I can speed up their computer. I could probably make it run at least 20% faster. But first my dad wants to back his stuff up in case I fuck it up somehow. Even though what they do every day is more likely to screw it up.

It's not like my dad's computer-newb. He's been around them since home computers started to come out. But definitely an internet-newb.

I can't wait to see my kids posting about how, "Dad is SUCH a telemogrifier new-rat!"
 

Xyliss

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Mar 21, 2010
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One thing that annoys the shit out of me is when there is any problem at all with a computer they respond with "ZOMG! Virus!" It's really annoying.

Wireless internet not working; virus
Computer slighty slower than usual; virus
Can't find a file; virus stole it
Yep, I get that a lot and I hate it. I wish they'd stop being so presumptuous and just accept the fact the computer might be a bit slower because it's got too much stuff on it not because I've managed to download a virus onto it (and it's always me that would download them, never them!)
 

jultub

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Jan 18, 2010
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Luckily both my parents are (for their age) pretty adept with computers. Both are using Firefox(!), so all I'm getting are the tricky questions :/
 

esperandote

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Feb 25, 2009
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My boss is an electronic engineer with 20 years of experience and was a computers technician and a programmer (presumabily) but still double clicks one click buttons in windows (like the links in quick start menu and the left side bar in windows explorer) types with his middle fingers and requieres me as a programmer to program the insertion point to move from textbox to textbox in Windows forms with the Enter key as if it was a DOS program.
 

MorphingDragon

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Apr 17, 2009
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I have a literate father and a slightly literate mother. I do stuff for my dad because he spends all day dealing with bitchy families (He practices family law) or hes just plain lazy. I installed Linux on his computer because he had it up to here with windows but wont touch Mac OSX for some reason. My mum knows how to get work done with her computer, but I still need to help her sometimes like using office.

But good good,
LIMEWIRE NEEDS TO FUCKING DIE!!!

I can't tell you how many times Ive had to fix a friends computer because of that Virus magnet.

MY GOD, people need to learn not to completely fill up the desktop 100% with icons.
 

krseyffert

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Jan 6, 2010
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Here's something that happened to 2 friends of mine, named Matthew and Micheal. (True Story)

Micheal, went to stay at Matthew's place for the night(he lives just down the road). He gets a call from his mom saying "Micheal what did you do to the computer?! it won't switch on!!" and a whole lot of swearing...

Micheal goes back to his house, looks at the computer and plugs the screen into the power outlet on the wall...
 

Legendsmith

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Mar 9, 2010
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PurpleLeafRave said:
Legendsmith said:
Dude... Damn. Good thing you got rid of them though. What did you use?
I used Avast. I think that's what it's called, it was really effective.
Yes, Avast is VERY good, it's what I use.
However, I also HIGHLY recommend Spybot Search & Destroy. It is VERY effective against the kind of things that those toolbars download. Despite it's name, it also sniffs out a lot of other types of nasties and it has the capability to "immunise" your browser against Spybots, and other malware.

Run Spybot Search & Destroy in parallel to Avast, as Avast does not get everything. (Not saying Avast is bad, there are just some things that Anti-viruses don't catch). Remember, Spybot Search & Destroy is not an antivirus. it doesn't have the same kind of active protection that Avast provides. It does however have a really useful feature, "TeaTimer" system setting protector. It stops malware caging system settings.

Avast + Spybot Search & Destroy gives pretty much complete coverage of everything.
If something does get past Avast, run a Spybot Search & Destroy scan.
 

Luke5515

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Aug 25, 2008
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I'm asked to correct everything on my parents computer no matter what. Once, my mom changed the size of her desktop icons and was confused and asked me to fix it, because "It might have changed something else on the computer somewhere else."
 

Virus0015

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Dec 1, 2009
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It's not really as funny as some others, but it makes me laugh. I wanted some PC upgrades for my birthday exactly one year after getting an Alien ware PC (yes you don't need to tell me how I cocked up). My dad reluctantly says yes, so I order some new RAM, CPU and graphics card, planning to install them all myself figuring that I had to learn it eventually.

DON'T READ ON IF YOU ARE NOT I.T. LITERATE YOU WILL WASTE YOUR TIME

Anyways I had a problem, the BIOS firmware was too old and wouldn't recognise the CPU. I download the most recent one, and it turns out it's bugged and refuses to boot a vista CD. Great, my motherboard is screwed and I can't downgrade to an older one because the firmware will only go one way. My dad then gets annoying saying phrases like "if it isn't broken don't try to fix it". After trying to find some way to down-grade the BIOS firmware for about 6 hours I agree to take the PC to a local tech. I leave it with him for a week end and when we come back he says that I screwed up the motherboard by updating the BIOS and I would have to buy a new one. I take it home, look online and there is a beta BIOS version released about a month ago. Whole installation takes 30 mins :p

Lessons learned:

1: Don't always take the word of a person who knows a lot about IT as final.
2: Don't doubt your kids when they are working day and night trying to fix a complex problem or you will end up looking like a cock.
 

runnernda

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Feb 8, 2010
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My dad has been working with computers since they took up a whole room, so I was pretty much raised on them. With that said, I don't understand how my mom can barely check her e-mail, and my brothers often can't figure out how to "turn on the internet."

My dad is currently the director of network services at a university, and I work in the laptop service center at the same place. You wouldn't believe some of the PEBKAC problems we get here. It's an arts school, so a lot of the people we service are 'ar-teests" who don't have to treat us with any kind of respect. I have a lovely little collection of RAM I've removed from the computers of individuals who treated me like a lesser life form because I'm either A) working in a service industry or B) a girl.
 

Corpse XxX

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Jan 19, 2009
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Chris^^ said:
got a phone call a few weeks back;

Dad: I can't make the sound work on this video
Me: ok, what are you trying to watch it with?
Dad: the video.
Me: yes, the video, what programme?
Dad: stop getting so technical, tell me how to make the sound work!
Me [exasperated]: I can't tell you if you won't tell me what programme you're using..
Dad: you're so impatient! forget it!
Me: look, just tell me what you're trying to watch it with.. youtube, media player?
Dad: youtube! that's it!
Me: check the little speaker icon, if it has a cross through it, click it
Dad: erm.. erm... this is complicated... there it is! *labourious clicking sound* it works now! why couldn't you have explained it simply?!
Me: *hangs up*
hahaha.. this is the essence of all stupidity.. Have also experienced this many times myself.. It never gets old..
 

Count Igor

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May 5, 2010
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I love the fact that this is pretty much to only site you'll be able to post this thread without people saying that they're not the computer whiz's in the family.

OT: All my family are computer savy, so I don't have to fix NUFFINK.
 

Danny Ocean

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Jun 28, 2008
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I could recount hundreds of different stories, but there are now too many that I can't remember any single one. Rest assured I now actively avoid providing parental tech support.

It's mainly because my parents used to be in the industry and so magically assume they know anything about modern computers. They don't. They just think they do, and it's really annoying. My dad is especially bad, because he tries to 'help'. His method is radically different to mine, and takes a lot, lot longer. I can quickly identify a problem as impossible to fix within a reasonable timespan, but he'll persevere... God, he'll persevere.

Normally he'll call me down to help 'for a few minutes', which turns into hours, and hours, and hours of me sitting there while he tries the same thing over and over again while I tell him the correct thing to do. He just ignores it, telling me to slow down and be patient. Really, I think it's a power game.

But fuck them. This is genuinely too much to bear doing any more. I'll be leaving home for good in just over a year, so they need to learn now or never. No more help for them unless it's really bad.
 

Zannah

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Jan 27, 2010
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And one day, they'll sink knee deep in all the mud, their broken mac books, their virus infested Internet explorers, and they'll come to me and yell 'help us'. And I'll sit in the shadows and whisper 'no'.

Come on guys, someone had to.

As for personal experience - imagine you're the younger sister to three brothers, who all can't tell their mainboard from their arse, but are absolutely certain to know far better then any girl ever could.