Sorry sir, but I can't take you seriously.

[Furbyz]

My history teacher is a complete dumbass. Let me give you a list of some the things he has taught us:

Christopher Columbus was the first to find America because everyone else thought the earth was flat
Marco Polo was a great adventurer who explored China (he probably didn't)
Thomas Edison invented the light bulb (in reality he just stole the idea from someone else)
The civil war was the bloodiest war (that was actually WW2)
If you are a soscialist, you go against everything America stands for
"Obamacare" is completely unconstitutional
And finally, he decided he could just skip a section if he just showed us Forrest Gump.

Not everything said here is completely wrong. His views on Christopher Columbus, Socialism, and Tom Hanks being a suitable lesson plan are abjectly erroneous, but the others at least hold some merit. Marco Polo did explore China. I mean if you know something I don't, please tell me. The accounts of it are quite embellished, but I wasn't aware there was any big controversy over this.

Edison...god that man was a dick...but while he didn't actually invent the light bulb by any means he did improve them to the point of being much more practical and therefore more commercial. He took bulb life from something like 40 hours to 1200 I want to say. Did he invent them: hell no. Did he bring them to the people: kinda.

The Civil War may have been the bloodiest American war. The fact is, Confederate casualties records seem a bit sketchy. It's hard to find two sources that agree on casualty totals for the Civil War. It seems to vary from 800,000-1.1 million. Going strictly by American deaths and not casualties in general, Civil war-625,000 WW II- 405,399. You've got to remember that in the Civil War, both Union and Confederate are tallied together. More than likely, that is what he meant.

As for Obamacare, I'll be interested to see what the Supreme Court decides. It's a legitimate case. Health is laid out as part of State's Rights in the Constitution, but the courts have long held that Federal Government reigns supreme. Honestly, it could go either way. In fact, it has gone back and forth in the lower courts as I recall. I haven't been watching it too closely though. I'm just waiting for the end game.

Don't let the fact that any of his information may have been correct alter your opinion of the man though. Just because someone happens to spit out some truth along with their endless founts of bile and idiocy doesn't take away from the inherent truth that they are complete morons. I had a Computer Maintenance teacher like that. Mr. A was...I think the guy must have killed his brain huffing glue in the 80's or something. He'd just drone on about computer specs, maybe tell us a little bit, and then we'd spend most of the class watching videos of cats.

Either that or we'd do what in theory was a great exercise. He'd have tons of computers out, all purposely rendered inoperable, and once we fixed them the entire class could have an Unreal Tournament LAN. The faster we fixed them, the sooner the LAN. That sounds great right? Like a really good way to teach practical experience with an actual reward for doing so. The guy never actually did but one thing on ALL the computers, and usually it was something we could fix in 2 seconds, like leaving a floppy disk in. And the entire time he'd be telling us how we were going "slower than dog snails." Upon questioning as to WHAT THE FUCK a dog snail was, we were told that a dog snail was a dog with a giant heavy snail shell on its back so that it had to move very slowly by just pawing with its front legs. We eventually got someone to draw a picture of it and made it the background for every computer in the place. Because all them windows 95 computers was slower than dog snails.

 

[Obsideo]

My wildlife biology teacher spelled "striped bass" like "stripped bas".

That seemed like a pretty good time to start tuning her out.

 

[I.N.producer]

I had a computer ethics professor last year who clearly did not understand the reading he assigned us. He assigned an article about the Strategic Defense Initiative, aka "Star Wars", a nuclear missile defense system that was planned during the Cold War.

The article talked about how the computer scientists working on the project knew the system was technologically impossible at the time. Instead, they were using the funds as a chance to advance computer science while not telling the government how impossible the SDI was. The whole issue was whether it was morally acceptable for the scientists to do this.

My professor thought the article was about whether the use of nuclear weapons was morally justifiable. He tried to explain this while stuttering and rereading the book during class. I told him what I thought it was about (the above paragraph). Then he took 5 minutes during class to recheck the book before realizing he was wrong.

Thankfully we had a different professor the next week. Not sure about the exact details of the swap, like whether he quit or what.

 

[Vrud]

I had a computer ethics professor last year who clearly did not understand the reading he assigned us. He assigned an article about the Strategic Defense Initiative, aka "Star Wars", a nuclear missile defense system that was planned during the Cold War.

The article talked about how the computer scientists working on the project knew the system was technologically impossible at the time. Instead, they were using the funds as a chance to advance computer science while not telling the government how impossible the SDI was. The whole issue was whether it was morally acceptable for the scientists to do this.

My professor thought the article was about whether the use of nuclear weapons was morally justifiable. He tried to explain this while stuttering and rereading the book during class. I told him what I thought it was about (the above paragraph). Then he took 5 minutes during class to recheck the book before realizing he was wrong.

Thankfully we had a different professor the next week. Not sure about the exact details of the swap, like whether he quit or what.

That's . . . so sad

 

[Dawns Gate]

In my old foods class, my teacher split us up into groups. i was put into a group with two other girls who were the dumbest people I've ever met, so I started giving orders and they simply followed. When we finished it was the best in class. The teacher asked me if I was gay because I "Exceeded expectations for a male."

I LOL'd ever so hard...

 

[Infernai]

I once had a business Teacher who explained things at absolute bare minimum, mixed up terms and was a complete and total push-over to say the least...She was a nice person and all that, but a really really crap business teacher. The one i got in my last grade of highschool was..probably one of my favorite teachers ever.

 

[the spud]

Mr. Snippers.

Ok, here we go.
Marco Polo probably didn't explore China. We at the very least know that most of his stories aren't true (for example, he claimed that he ruled an entire city state for about 2 years, but there are absolutely no records of him in the entire city). He may have never even been to China, as there are several things you really think a person who has been to China would have seen (such as the great wall).

You are right about Edison, but he was claiming that he outright invented the lightbulb, not improved it.

I meant to say American war. Sorry. But that is kinda wrong, too. More people died during the civil war, yes, but more people were killed in combat during WW2, thus making it "bloodier" if you are going by literal meaning. And yes, I tried to correct him on that, but he wouldn't listen.

As for the Obamacare and Socialist stuff, well, I am not going to take a stance on those, but regardless, it isn't fit for public school.

[sub][sub]Gah, that was a long post. Now I can finally get back to watching my porn.[/sub][/sub]

 

[Draconalis]

He may have never even been to China, as there are several things you really think a person who has been to China would have seen (such as the great wall).

China is kiiiiiiinda a big place. I can buy someone not seeing alot of things in china, such as the great wall.

 

[Seydaman]

i wouldnt call her the worst teacher, but morally maybe not so... uh wholesome? she called me after class, and spent an hour puttering around the fact that she wanted to bring me home for her and her husband to have sex with. Was a very.very.very. awkward year after that

. . .
Sounds like a fun teacher. *Completely serious*

But let me see....I cannot take anyone seriously when they answer a question seriously with "because". I had this happen in my English class, I asked a fellow student if they thought incest was morally wrong, they said yes, I ask why. Their reason? "Because it's gross!" Why? "Because they're related!" Why does that make it gross? "Because!"

It makes me want to smash my face into a wall at the same time.

 

[Timi Pungracic]

yes, and it also had to do with physics. Oh god was that teacher awful, the first class we had her, she sat on chair, spread her legs and tried to zip the zipper. SHE'S OVER 50. Hope that makes you see why it was awful. But the worst was, when she was teaching about forces in circling and she said and i quote:"so when the sun circles around the earth,..." I am not kidding, we tried to correct her, but she said she was right. And i still managed to get a C out of her class...

 

[EcstaticObsessive]

My food tech teacher was an ex-pornstar, I kid you not. When you have a ex-pornstar for a food tech teacher, even the most innocent of things sound sexual. I didn't like that class.

 

[captaincabbage]

Ooh yeah, my main teacher and coordinator at TAFE at the moment is a bigtime pothead. It's funny because she always comes to class really grumpy, then goes to "fill her parking metre" for like, ten minutes and comes back really relaxed, cheerful and reeking of weed.

It's quite funny actually, because I do respect her somewhat as a person, but I just do not respect her as a higher authority at all.

 

[aashell13]

When I was working on my Masters Degree (Digital Forensics), I had to take a Criminalistics course (basically, non-digital forensics). Clearly the prof (who, IIRC, was a pathological toxicologist) was a bit light on the basic physics.

I was able to let it slide when, in a discussion, she didn't seem to grasp the concept that liquid temperature doesn't increase above its boiling point. However, when I lost points on an exam because, and I quote, "Gases don't have volume" (Up Yours, Boyle!), I dropped the course and the entire program. No way was I going to waste another 20 grand on it.

Oh, you didn't get the memo? IUPAC had a meeting and decided that PV=nRT doesn't apply outside of the science department anymore.

 

[ArbiterX13]

1) I had a history teacher who told us that even though it was the Arkansas (Ar-ken-saw) River, the actual state was pronounced Arkansas (Ar-KANSAS; like the state Kansas). She also pronounced guillotine "gill-o-teen" and believed that anyone who did so (namely the French) were wrong. Remember, it is a French word. I almost failed history that year because I just couldn't put up with her.
2) A student in my Japanese class is hilarious. She's a nice girl, she just acts like she's in virtually any comical shoujo manga. She's also unbearably thick; I've managed to convince her that you can see ghosts all around you by taking pictures of them with any camera (anyone who watches Supernatural should no where I got this from). I even got her to think that there five in the school by using my phone's built-in photo-editing software (take a picture of an empty section, add in a person from another photo, use this otherwise pointless "stamp" effect on the image of the person that makes only their outline show up in this sort of grainy, pointillism-like way, put a night filter on it all). She's still kinda freaked out about that.

 

[BristolBerserker]

Anyone who seriously thinks scottish independence is a good thing. And anyone who votes labour.

 

[I.N.producer]

snip

That's . . . so sad

Sad for the Prof. change or the bad Prof.? I felt kind of bad for him, he was incredibly unprepared and obviously flustered. Then wondering why we had a different prof. was bad too.

 

[infohippie]

From a couple of women at work

Points to the television showing a picture of George W Bush
Girl 1: "Who's that?"
Girl 2: "I think he's the king of America or summink"

Picture changes to Tony Blair

Girl 2: "Not sure who he is though"
Girl 1: "He's the prime minister of America"

Well to be fair, she wasn't that far wrong.

 

[Ironman126]

OT: people who say their atheist, now before you all attack me here is why, logically religion is like insurance, id rather have it and not need it then need it and not have it

Edit: im sorry i didnt make this clear before when i say "people who say their atheist" i mean the little bastards who pull that line if you say god bless you to them when they sneeze.

Lol, I'm an atheist and i say "bless you" after someone sneezes.

Also, I disagree with your assertion that it is like insurance. I used to be Catholic and i've thought over that "is it better to have and not need" thing a lot. But the thing is, if you think that, do you really actually believe? And if you don't really believe, why subject yourself to that oppression?

OT: I can't take anyone seriously if they spit bible verses in my face. Having been Catholic, i can also spit verses back at them... Which is really fun to watch them stare at the Atheist who knows more about their religion than they do. Idiots.

Also, i'm not saying religious people are idiots. The ones who aren't don't spew bible verses at me.

I also can't take military recruiters seriously. They just crack me up.

Recruiter: "Have you ever thought about joining the Army?"

Me: "Yeah i have actually. Hell, i can ever split a watermelon at 200 meters. I love that kinda shit. Then i remembered what bullets can do to a person and stopped considering it."

Recruiter: "Well, statistically, you aren't likely to get hit."

Me: "Yeah? Why take the chance?"

 

[Xan Krieger]

In my case it's not that the teacher isn't smart, it's that he has awesome comical ideas that I never thought we'd go through with.
My WW2 teacher had a bright idea one day. He was going to dress as Hitler and I was going to be a general and we were going to invade the French classroom. Naturally as soon as they saw us they surrendered.
His class was less serious and more a matter of how much shit we could get away with like the time I was Joseph Stalin and had to execute someone two grades ahead of me for being an idiot in a game. Then there was the time we learned the teacher was afraid of nutcrackers so we gave him one for Christmas, completely covered in swatstikas.