Spanking

[Koroviev]

You know, people often talk about what's right and whats wrong, but then, I sit here and watch on the news, this one stabbed that one, that one beat up this one, then I see everyday kids treating old people like shit and swearing and the list goes on. I also watched worlds strictest parents where two unruley binge drinking, swearing, fighting etc kids were sent to africa, when they heard that caning still existed, they were shocked and ranted on about how it wasn't acceptable, but the people there laughed at them because the kids who were caned there have grown up into respectable citizens taking thier studies seriously and respect thier parents, while these two delinquents were sent to africa in the first place for doing the exact opposite.

Appropriate behavior does not automatically follow from the absence of spanking. Discipline is necessary. Punishment is not.

I know people who were beaten to half an inch of thier life as children and would never condone that kind of punishment, but that is an extreme case. Most of the people against smacking are usually those who have never had it and those who have experienced it at it's worst. People like myself will never really see the harm of it because we weren't exposed to that form of beating.

It is easy to say that beating is the number one form of traumatizing a child, but all of these factors completly neglect that with or without beating, a child needs both a form of discipline and a show of affection. Giving a child a firm stare without showing love is no more a better way of raising a child then beating them.

My great grandmother didn't spank her kids, but she didn't seem to understand how to show love either, she didn't believe in hitting a child and was very much against it, but she was still a hypocrite in my eyes, because first and foremost, you should demonstrate to your kids how to love others the way you wish to be loved and the same with respect.

THIS is where most parents fail, children need attention almost 100% of the time, you can't be off doing your own thing, you can't ignore a child to pay more interest in your spouse or such, you can't not get involved in what your children are doing, you can't pretend that your child has great friends in school and everything is peachy. There are many factors in parenting, whether or not you give your child a smack is pretty minor on that list when you look at things from a larger scale.

I recognize that there is more to parenting than discipline, however, based on your topic introduction, I was under the impression that this particular thread concerned punishment.

 

[Koroviev]

Considering that all of the people I know(trendy assholes that they are) who refuse to spank their children all have kids who are little bastards who do things I would have never considered doing when I was younger for fear of an ass whooping, I'm gonna go ahead and say spanking works quite well as a deterrent.

The absence of spanking does not imply an effective application of discipline.

 

[Sovvolf]

No, of course not. There is almost always an exception to the rule. That being said, studies have revealed that spanking is a rather ineffective means of discipline. I cannot adjust the weight of your personal experiences as you perceive them, but as it concerns an argument, they are poor support for your point.

However, numerous posts from personal experience on the matter surely carry some weight. One or two, no... Exception to the rule... However the higher percentage of this thread is stating the same as Samurai and I are stating. Surely this has to carry some weight to support this point.

 

[ServebotFrank]

It's necessary but it should NEVER be overused. There should be a high limit before you do it.

 

[Thedarkness77]

Question was spanking classified as child abuse? If this is true its complete BS. My parents grow up in homes where their parents beat them with belts that is child abuse not spanking.

 

[pulse2]

You know, people often talk about what's right and whats wrong, but then, I sit here and watch on the news, this one stabbed that one, that one beat up this one, then I see everyday kids treating old people like shit and swearing and the list goes on. I also watched worlds strictest parents where two unruley binge drinking, swearing, fighting etc kids were sent to africa, when they heard that caning still existed, they were shocked and ranted on about how it wasn't acceptable, but the people there laughed at them because the kids who were caned there have grown up into respectable citizens taking thier studies seriously and respect thier parents, while these two delinquents were sent to africa in the first place for doing the exact opposite.

Appropriate behavior does not automatically follow from the absence of spanking. Discipline is necessary. Punishment is not.

I know people who were beaten to half an inch of thier life as children and would never condone that kind of punishment, but that is an extreme case. Most of the people against smacking are usually those who have never had it and those who have experienced it at it's worst. People like myself will never really see the harm of it because we weren't exposed to that form of beating.

It is easy to say that beating is the number one form of traumatizing a child, but all of these factors completly neglect that with or without beating, a child needs both a form of discipline and a show of affection. Giving a child a firm stare without showing love is no more a better way of raising a child then beating them.

My great grandmother didn't spank her kids, but she didn't seem to understand how to show love either, she didn't believe in hitting a child and was very much against it, but she was still a hypocrite in my eyes, because first and foremost, you should demonstrate to your kids how to love others the way you wish to be loved and the same with respect.

THIS is where most parents fail, children need attention almost 100% of the time, you can't be off doing your own thing, you can't ignore a child to pay more interest in your spouse or such, you can't not get involved in what your children are doing, you can't pretend that your child has great friends in school and everything is peachy. There are many factors in parenting, whether or not you give your child a smack is pretty minor on that list when you look at things from a larger scale.

I recognize that there is more to parenting than discipline, however, based on your topic introduction, I was under the impression that this particular thread concerned punishment.

I agree, I wasn't detering from that, I was just pointing at the fact that in my opinion, once you are providing your child with love and affection, a smack to the bottom for naughty behaviour is hardly going to traumatize them.

 

[-Samurai-]

Super Duper Snip!.

No, of course not. There is almost always an exception to the rule. That being said, studies have revealed that spanking is a rather ineffective means of discipline. I cannot adjust the weight of your personal experiences as you perceive them, but as it concerns an argument, they are poor support for your point.

Any study done on that matter can be done over and over with different results depending on the children.

How old were the kids? What gender? Did they have behavioral problems before? Only children or siblings? Where did they live? Do their parents have violent histories? Are they wealthy, poor, or middle class? Etc etc.

There can be no definitive study on children and effective methods of discipline.

Don't quote me again with this crap. I'm not going around in circles with you on this.

 

[Strain42]

No because it only serves to cause them pain because when I was getting spanked as a little kid I wasn't thinking of not doing it again. I was thinking of how my ass hurt. So I'll choose to take their favorite whatever and break/rip/destroy it. That fixed me when my favorite book was ripped in half.

Oh dear, don't get me started on that, the day my dad ripped up my favourite playstation mags, I went completely insane, I screamed all night and turned my room into a bomb, I even ripped up all my school work books in a revenge attack, lmao. Lets just say that did me no favours.

True, psychological torments work pretty well too. To name a few examples from my own childhood: I HATE BEETS

One time my room was a frightful mess, so my mother would only feed me beets. Breakfast and Dinner (lunch was at school obviously) I could only eat beets. In about a week I spent all night cleaning my room to the required standards of tidy.

On one occasion me and my older sister did something so horrible that I can't even recall what it was, but it made my Mom decide that she was going on strike. She wouldn't respond to being called Mom and wouldn't do us any favors or any usual mom stuff. It was that odd sense of freedom when you're like "I can do anything I want!" and then you realize that you should just wanna make your mom happy because you owe a lot to her

and finally one time I mimicked something out of a Calvin and Hobbes strip and yelled out "BORING!" in the middle of class. Naturally this got my Calvin and Hobbes books taken away from me and thrown into the garbage. I remember a somber feeling as I walked to school that day, staring at the garbage can on the curb, knowing soon my favorite comics would be gone forever.

When I got home and genuinely apologized for what I had done, I walked to my bedroom to see them sitting neatly on my desk.

I love my parents.

 

[darth gditch]

Well, my parents did hit me when I really misbehaved i.e. lied about something repeatedly, ate dirt, stole something ect.

It got the point across and I think it can be effective when every other option has been exhausted. If other punishments work, use them. But I think the reinforcement is necessary in certain cases.

For example, a kid won't stop picking his nose-repeatedly the child has been not to and why. A smack might work.

 

[VanityGirl]

snip

I respect your opinions on spanking, but it is an effective discipline technique. I challenge you to read the American Academy of Pediatrics, The Guidance for effective discipline, in their Pediatrics book.
They actually say that spanking, when done with an open hand on your child's bottom is an effective disciplining method. It's done for the "shock value" but if a parent spanks a child too much, it begins to lose its effectiveness.

Then again, a parent shouldn't be spanking a child that much in the first place. It is and should be used as a way to tell your child "NO" if they do something very wrong.

It's similar to what happens when a child pulls a cat's tail and the cat claws the child. Most likely the child will not repeat the action of pulling on the cat's tail again.



Some parents use spanking, some don't, but you can't write it off as an ineffective form of discipline.

 

[UltraParanoia]

Considering that all of the people I know(trendy assholes that they are) who refuse to spank their children all have kids who are little bastards who do things I would have never considered doing when I was younger for fear of an ass whooping, I'm gonna go ahead and say spanking works quite well as a deterrent.

The absence of spanking does not imply an effective application of discipline.

You have an awfully wordy way of saying the exact same shit over and over again.


We get it, you disagree with spanking, you don't need to repeat yourself to every single person in the thread.

 

[Koroviev]

No, of course not. There is almost always an exception to the rule. That being said, studies have revealed that spanking is a rather ineffective means of discipline. I cannot adjust the weight of your personal experiences as you perceive them, but as it concerns an argument, they are poor support for your point.

However, numerous posts from personal experience on the matter surely carry some weight. One or two, no... Exception to the rule... However the higher percentage of this thread is stating the same as Samurai and I are stating. Surely this has to carry some weight to support this point.

No, not necessarily. There are several issues with using anecdotes as evidence. First and foremost, there is no way to validate an anecdote. There is only the person's word that it occurred, and moreover, that it occurred in such a way as it supposedly did. Moreover, even if the person in question is doing his or her best to be honest in his or her recounting of the event, human memory is still subject to error. Therefore, while useful for illustrating points, anecdotal evidence is not considered to be an effective means of supporting them.

 

[Plazmatic]

Leaving out the extremities of smacking a child, do you think in some cases a smack is justified or do you think everything can be handled in words. I've seen the pros and cons of both choices, but I'd like to see your opinions.

slap of the hand and butt is not bad. however slapping your child in the face is a differant story, dont do it.

 

[Koroviev]

Considering that all of the people I know(trendy assholes that they are) who refuse to spank their children all have kids who are little bastards who do things I would have never considered doing when I was younger for fear of an ass whooping, I'm gonna go ahead and say spanking works quite well as a deterrent.

The absence of spanking does not imply an effective application of discipline.

You have an awfully wordy way of saying the exact same shit over and over again.


We get it, you disagree with spanking, you don't need to repeat yourself to every single person in the thread.

I do not disagree with spanking. Spanking is an action. It cannot hold opinions with which I disagree. Rather, I hold, as my opinion, that it is ineffective as compared to other methods of discipline.

 

[Koroviev]

Leaving out the extremities of smacking a child, do you think in some cases a smack is justified or do you think everything can be handled in words. I've seen the pros and cons of both choices, but I'd like to see your opinions.

slap of the hand and butt is not bad. however slapping your child in the face is a differant story, dont do it.

Why is that?

 

[DalekJaas]

A good smack on the bum never heart anyone. Cotton wool society.

 

[emeraldrafael]

Snip

You know... you keep saying that, but you never stated what, and when you try, you give us a pdf file that all and all, has no idea what its talking about. So what exactly would you use instead of spanking?

 

[Thundero13]

I am against attacking your children, it's just wrong, my mother slammed a door in my face once, she was drunk and didn't know what she had done but when she found out she didn't care, also a friend of mine is from india and he says that his father beats him if he does bad in a test, when I told him that it isn't legal in this country he told his mom and now his dad lives in saudi arabia and everything is fine.

 

[v3n0mat3]

Psychologically punishing (meaning associating their actions as being unacceptable, and that their behavior will lead to "time out" or that sort of punishment) a child is far more effective than smacking the hell out of them. Yeah, I was spanked as a child, lord knows sometimes I deserved it... but it feels like your parents hate you. You fear them. Children should never be scared of their parents. They should look up to them. And how can they look up to you if you whup them?

 

[RJ Dalton]

It's not the best way to discipline children, no, but there are times when it's a good idea. When you need to get a point across quickly and you want to associate it with pain, such as crossing the street without an adult, or playing with knives, a good spanking can mean the difference between life and death/serious injury in small children. Ultimately, as the child grows, you should move away from punishments that rely physically harming them because they become much less effective over time.