Spanking

[brunothepig]

I am disappointed this thread isn't about the kind of spanking I was thinking of. <.<

Oh good, I wasn't the only one.
OT: I don't think I'll ever hit my child (if I have one) but I don't get people who complain about children being spanked. Until you raised your child perfectly, you should just shut up. So yeah, feel free to give your child a small smack, only don't go overboard.

 

[Eisenfaust]

spare the rod, spoil the child... presenting negative consequences are an inherant and extremely useful part of conditioning and raising a child... and it just so happens that smacking them is one of the most effective methods... talking through the problem isn't necessarily useful if they can't linguistically understand either the inherant meaning of long term consequences... pain is a universal sign, and so incredibly useful for teaching... smacking leaves no permanent physical marks, etc, etc...

of course, the key is in moderation... undersmacking and they don't learn... oversmacking and they're ruined for life

 

[pulse2]

But you aren't smacking with the intention of necessarily causing pain and pain alone, you are giving a tiny shot of pain (with no long lasting side effects) in order to get and hold attention when a child refuses to even so much as look at you. I don't condone in the slightest beating a child for everything. Don't touch that! Beat. Don't look at me! Beat. Don't eat that! Beat. You'll find in most circumstances you won't ever have to lay a finger on your child and some children will never need to experience a tap to thier bottom because they are just easy to raise.

But on the occasion, you get those children who don't understand the concept of behaviour. To be honest, like someone here said, the smacks on the bottom I recieved were nothing, how about military type parents who treat their children like soldiers. It goes to show that you can still traumatize a child even without touching them, I believe that most children are not so much traumatized by beatings as they are not feeling loved by thier parents or experiencing some form of neglect.

 

[Jerious1154]

I don't have children, but if/when I do I don't plan on spanking them. Especially in the modern age of internet, video games, and television, it seems like there are a lot of privileges that you can take away from a child to keep them in line. When I misbehaved my parents wouldn't even send me to my room. They would tell me off and then tell me no television or computer for two days. I learned my lesson.

On the other hand, I don't think that spanking is something terrible that should be banned. As long as it doesn't hurt the child, I think it's just a matter of parenting style. And some kids are definitely harder to deal with than others.

 

[pulse2]

I don't have children, but if/when I do I don't plan on spanking them. Especially in the modern age of internet, video games, and television, it seems like there are a lot of privileges that you can take away from a child to keep them in line. When I misbehaved my parents wouldn't even send me to my room. They would tell me off and then tell me no television or computer for two days. I learned my lesson.

On the other hand, I don't think that spanking is something terrible that should be banned. As long as it doesn't hurt the child, I think it's just a matter of parenting style. And some kids are definitely harder to deal with than others.

Lol, I suppose the perfect way to discipline a daughter would be to take away her mobile, that alone could be considered more of child abuse than spanking, considering the psychological trauma she would go through not being able to talk to her friends for hours at end. lol

 

[WanderingFool]

I say why not spank them, just dont go crazy brutal sitkicking on them. And I was spanked as a child, why should I let this eneration get off easy?

Also, my E,G, and H keys on my keyboard are not working, pissing me off.

 

[Kirch Libre]

I got the switch when I was younger and I turned out fine. Just don't go beating the shit out of them. But I'll admit I'd rather give em' a warning first.

 

[TheJwalkR]

I was only spanked once as a child and one of my mother's friends talkd her that she was being a bad mother by not spanking me. Currently I am at the top of my class at a private school and on the 2nd line on my hockey team. This friend of my mother's friends kids are drug addicts and criminals.

 

[Professor Idle]

I think if smacking a kid should ever be used it should be thought through to see if it would make an effective punishment for the situation, as opposed to smacking them out of temper.

 

[Triarii]

I was spanked as a kid, nothing abusive about what happened but it leads to many thing.

First off when kids see parents respond with violence (even if it is not permanent damage) it lets the kids believe it is a acceptable response to adversity

Another point, past a very young age spanking is ineffective which means you either spank more or harder, both of them lead to a slippery slope.

Also, As I grew up I believed it was better to not tell my parents anything cause even if they helped I would get in trouble. So i relied on my friends advice for problems, my friends help, and my parents just wondered why there input mattered less and less.

Even more so, when spanked children feel oppressed, they are slower to build trust, they feel like they have no control over their home life sometimes and often grow to resent the oppressors.

There are just a few things that happen to a child with spanking hardly conclusive or free from outside influence.

____________________

Oh and one last thing, I know Christians (I am one) Tend to be big on the spanking thing. that whole "spare the rod, Spoil the child." thing

Proverbs 13:24 NIV "Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. "

this verse makes two statements not one. First it says to not discipline is bad, and to be careful how you do punish a child.

____________________

 

[Triarii]

I was spanked as a kid, nothing abusive about what happened but it leads to many thing.

First off when kids see parents respond with violence (even if it is not permanent damage) it lets the kids believe it is a acceptable response to adversity

Another point, past a very young age spanking is ineffective which means you either spank more or harder, both of them lead to a slippery slope.

Also, As I grew up I believed it was better to not tell my parents anything cause even if they helped I would get in trouble. So i relied on my friends advice for problems, my friends help, and my parents just wondered why there input mattered less and less.

Even more so, when spanked children feel oppressed, they are slower to build trust, they feel like they have no control over their home life sometimes and often grow to resent the oppressors.

There are just a few things that happen to a child with spanking hardly conclusive or free from outside influence.

____________________

Oh and one last thing, I know Christians (I am one) Tend to be big on the spanking thing. that whole "spare the rod, Spoil the child." thing

Proverbs 13:24 NIV "Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. "

this verse makes two statements not one. First it says to not discipline is bad, and to be careful how you do punish a child.

____________________

Should clarify, I don't think it should be banned, it has a time and place, for limited uses, I do not think that any parent should use this as a "Standard punishment" also the focus should never be pain, getting switches, sticks, or whatever crosses a line.

 

[Death God]

No because it only serves to cause them pain because when I was getting spanked as a little kid I wasn't thinking of not doing it again. I was thinking of how my ass hurt. So I'll choose to take their favorite whatever and break/rip/destroy it. That fixed me when my favorite book was ripped in half.

Oh dear, don't get me started on that, the day my dad ripped up my favourite playstation mags, I went completely insane, I screamed all night and turned my room into a bomb, I even ripped up all my school work books in a revenge attack, lmao. Lets just say that did me no favours.

Well, it sure taught me not to headbutt people when I was mad at them.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Negative reinforcement works. That is all.

 

[Tron-tonian]

My own parents only ever had to spank myself or my brothers ~5 times(likely less) each. Each time was for a "You dun messed up but GOOD!" type of screwup. Like when my little brother was playing with matches in the house, and storing the evidence under his bed.

For my own 3 year old, I've given her a little ass-smack a couple times - both when she was told not to do something that physically hurt me (bit me, kicked me). She quickly stopped such behavior.

 

[PDeverit]

Only suitable for minors?:

Schoolchildrens' "spanking" related injuries (WARNING - These images may be deeply disturbing to some viewers. Do not open this page if children are present).
http://www.nospank.net/injuredkids.pdf

Reasonable and moderate? You decide.
(WARNING - This sound recording may be deeply disturbing to some listeners. Do not open this file if children are within listening range).
http://nospank.net/prj-006.wav

 

[PDeverit]

Only suitable for minors?:

People used to think it was necessary to "spank" adult members of the community, college students, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual battery if a person over the age of 18 is "spanked", but only if over the age of 18.

For one thing, because the buttocks are so close to the anal region, sex organs, and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, striking them can trigger powerful and involuntary sexual stimulus in some people. There are numerous physiological ways in which it can be intentionally or unintentionally sexually abusive, but I won't list them all here. One can read the testimony, documentation, and educational resources available from the website of Parents and Teachers Against Violence In Education at www.nospank.net

Child bottom-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:

Child bottom-battering (euphemistically labeled "spanking","swatting","switching","smacking", "paddling",or other cute-sounding names) for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.

Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.

There are several reasons why child bottom-battering isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:

Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak
http://www.nospank.net/pt2010.pdf

The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson
http://nospank.net/sdsc2.pdf

NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor MD and Adah Maurer PhD
http://nospank.net/taylor.htm

Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-battering isn't a good idea:

American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
American Psychological Association,
Center For Effective Discipline,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child.

In 31 nations, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child. The US also has the highest incarceration rate in the world.

The US states with the highest crime rates and the poorest academic performance are also the ones with the highest rates of child corporal punishment.

There is simply no evidence to suggest that child bottom-battering instills virtue.

 

[SadakoMoose]

The theories of Alive Miller are all I really need here, but I prefer my own bastardization...
It doesn't ACTUALLY teach them anything...Children are more complex than dogs, and therefore operant conditioning just won't work. All you're telling them is:
"The people that happen to provide both food and usually love are also capable of harming me, and that's o.k. apparently."
From there, there are a number of ways it could develop:
"Therefore, I can hurt people when they don't obey me."
or
"I cannot trust one (or both) of my parents"
or
"I will fetishize this to the point of mommy and or daddy issues."
Or nothing could happen at all but a few repressed or very unpleasant memories.
It's a crap shoot.
Last time I checked, gambling wasn't any way to raise a child.
Look at England for crying out loud.
Do you know how much fetish porn comes out of that country? Do you?
It's both creepy and staggering...