Stats for real-life items!!

[hittite]

Chainsaw

stats:
+100% damage vs. undead
+300 awesomeness
-50 hearing

special:
-1 limb in event of critical fail of attack roll

 

[Gunner 51]

Chavwear

- 100 Trust from all people.
+ 20 Fatigue on wearer

Increased chance of smoking related disease.

 

[BryceN]

Booze:
-30 to communication
+50 to thinking you can fly
+50 to your belief that your Chuck Norris
10% chance you wake up in the gutter with no clothes and no clue why you're there.

Special Abilities: Summons pink elephant to follow you home.

 

[thegreatsage]

"Internet connection"

(+1)-(+0/1) to nerdiness.
+infinity to connectivity.
Variable effects on social life.
-100 to cash float per month.

Special ability:-Not being connected shifts alignment to either 'Tired old "conservative"'(if cash float is above 1000) or 'Illiterate slum-dweller in undeveloped or disaster-hit country'(if cash float is below 1000).

This may be the greatest thread ever created.

 

[Daniel_Rosamilia]

"Internet connection"

(+1)-(+0/1) to nerdiness.
+infinity to connectivity.
Variable effects on social life.
-100 to cash float per month.

Special ability:-Not being connected shifts alignment to either 'Tired old "conservative"'(if cash float is above 1000) or 'Illiterate slum-dweller in undeveloped or disaster-hit country'(if cash float is below 1000).

This may be the greatest thread ever created.

Oh, thank you!
For that compliment, have a cookie!

 

[Aunel]

bass
+ lots of awesome

special: slap solo. making every one around you think you're awesome, giving +100 on negotiating skills.

 

[Jakabus]

BERET

+30 Arrogance
+20 barter with weed dealers
-5 friends

special ability: if your Jamie Hyneman, +200 to the braniac look

 

[Ze_Reaper_Of_Zeath]

Cookie

+1000 Awesomeness
+100 Joy
-100 Health (Ignore if it has no Chocolate)

Abilities - Makes you say: NOM OM NOM NOM NOM.

Best Thread Eva!

 

[Evil the White]

bass
+ lots of awesome

special: slap solo. making every one around you think you're awesome, giving +100 on negotiating skills.

Negotiation bonus does not apply to obnoxious guitarists.

 

[Z(ombie)fan]

and this is the part where i jump onto the floor and start laughing.

LOLcats

+ 70 noobosity
+ "teh lulz"

- 999999999999999999 human worth.
- 100% of my respect

*causes user to scream FAIL at the failures of others, and using lol as an actual word.






NOTE:can only be obtained by combing photoshop and a cat.

 

[mechanixis]

Ebay Account
-178 Dollars
+1 Awesome Thing
+14 Useless Pieces of Crap

Special Ability: Pawn - All other items in you inventory gain the Sell ability: sacrifice item, gain dollars equal to 50% its value. On a critical miss, gain $0.99 instead.

 

[hittite]

Beanie

+15 Frost Resist
+15000 Nerdiness

Special:
-100% chance to get laid. Unless the chick is a nerd as well. In which case, probability is reversed.

 

[TheRundownRabbit]

Life status,

Rockin
Doin Great
Everythin is alright
eh yea kinda
not that great
feelin lousy
total shit-storm
Im fucked

 

[Sir Kemper]

Hot Chocolate:

+50 deliciousness

-5 Tiredness.

-20 health.

-------------------------
'You are overcome with a feeling of joy, and wellbeing'

 

[SturmDolch]

Ed Hardy Shirt
-100 Fashion
-100 Dollars
-200 Cool
+150 Chance to get an STD
+100 Chance to get drunk on cheap tequila

 

[WINDOWCLEAN2]

TIGER WOODS.

+50 GOlfing
+20 Blackness
-70 Loyalty
Adds 7 female followers to your party
Driving skiils decrease by 25%

 

[Grayjack]

Video games.

+20 to Hand-eye coordination
-50 to Social Life

Special Ability: Time waster - Allows you to advance time in the blink of an eye.

 

[The Lawn]

Energy Spray

20 Charges
On use:
+300 to energy
-500 to sleep
Makes you think you can do stuff faster, but you can't.

 

[FinalHeart95]

Wife Beater T-Shirt
+ 100 Douche
+ 50 Sweat Glands
- 200 Respectability

If combined with Guido Tan, you gain the ability: No Real Friends

 

[A Raging Emo]

http://gothamist.com/attachments/jen/2008_06_trjcon.jpg

Condom:

STATS
+50 Disease Resist
+15 Intelligence
-10 Sensitivity
+10 Stamina


Special Ability
-Alignment bonus to allies and opposite sex
-Temporary immunity to poison

Very nice.