Stats for real-life items!!

[Kungfu_Teddybear]

Chuck Norris's Fist

+8 Million strength
+5 Million Stamina

Special Ability: +500% Damage increase when fighting Bears/Casts fear on target

 

[Z(ombie)fan]

Trilby hat
+10 coolness
-10 L.O.S

Note: If combined with black suit and sunglasses, coolness modifier is quadrupled, but L.O.S is brought down another 10

...

what does L.O.S. stand for?

PORN

+10 happiness
+100 bonerosity
+9001 computer viruses

 

[Kuchinawa212]

Spoiler

-30 Dollars
+50 cool
Wgt. 1
*Needs games to work*
Immune to: Bored

Spoiler

+10 to health
Wgt. 0
Hvy Resistance to: Congestion

Spoiler

Hey she made it, it counts

+1000 to Gordon Freeman abilities (combat, intelligence, -points to speech, awesomeness, beard if user chooses to do so)
+10 in epic points
May be worn by either sex
Wgt. 12

 

[Kuchinawa212]

what does L.O.S. stand for?

Line of sight. I believe

 

[Private Custard]

+100 speed
-100 Pounds for the speeding ticket
+100 agility
-100 Pounds for the speeding ticket
+100 fuck, I'll look like a Power Ranger
-100 Pounds for the speeding ticket

Special Abilities

Organ donor

 

[open trap]

Pencil
+100 wrighting ability
+0.5 Stad damage

 

[The Austin]

TIGER WOODS.

+50 GOlfing
+20 Blackness
-70 Loyalty
Adds 7 female followers to your party
Driving skiils decrease by 25%

You sir, are a comedy god.

 

[TAGM]

I can't help but put in more then one...

Widescreen TV
+20 Room
+1 pomposity
Can be used with Cable box to move time forward 1/2 hour or 1 hour.

Playing Cards
Can be used anywhere, though possibly with adverse effects.
Unlockes 250 new minigames when held.

Special - Can place bets on outcomes of games, can only be used if played with friends, may cause problems if done in wrong place, causes +/- <$50 per use.

Top Hat
+10 english-ness.
-10 respect from Anti-English.
+1 respect from Upper Class people.
Part of the English Upper Class Twat suit.

 

[The Heik]

Yellow duck tape armguards

+100 to utility
+200 to awesomeness

special traits
-5 health when removed
50% increased chance of encounters with ninjas

 

[mumakurau]

Statistics:
+10 to Range
+100 to Marksmanship
+1000 to Compensation
9000+ to Intimidation

Special Abilities:
50% Accuracy against Armored Targets

Special Notes:
Fucks you up from a mile away

 

[ThatTallGuy]

Laptop-

+10 Connectivity
-10 Battery Life
+1 Striking (Limited Use)
If Apple Branded:
+20 Pretentiousness
-2x money
10 wgt
Immune to: Boredom

Sketchpad-

+5 Creativity
+1 Artist-lookingness

Requires: Pencil

 

[maninahat]

-20 appearance
-25 respect
-15 speed

Special Abilities:
Bonus when equipped along with bluetooth ear set, anorak, and a notepad for taking down the numbers of trains.

 

[maninahat]

+1 attack
+1 defence
+1 speed

Special abilities:
-five knuckle shuffle
-shaking hands with the bishop
-firing the pump action yoghurt gun
-polishing the trumpet
-Also useful for masturbation

 

[TheGreatCoolEnergy]

Bob Saget

Spoiler: Bob Saget

+200 Bad Jokes
+10 Charisma
-50 Practical use
+600 Ego

Special Rule(s)
-If Clip Show is in play:
+200 Coins
+200 Popularity

-If Tourettes Guy is in play:
+9000 Popularity
-9000 Pride

 

[mumakurau]

+1 attack
+1 defence
+1 speed

Special abilities:
-five knuckle shuffle
-shaking hands with the bishop
-firing the pump action yoghurt gun
-polishing the trumpet
-Also useful for masturbation

More Abilities:
-choking the chicken
-Backstroke roulette
-Basting the ham
-Butter the corn
-Consulting with your silent partner
-Distributing free literature
-Exercising your right to privacy
-Jacking off

 

[mip0]

HAHAHA 8D
Sorry, I don't have any my self but I just wanted to tell you what a great thread this is:
This thread is really very great! GJ and thank you!
(Of course it would only be a great idea if it wasn't for all the brilliant posts.)
I love this site.

 

[C117]

SNES
+ 16 bit

 

[undyingdh777]

Spoiler

Digivice
+100 Nerdiness
+50 Shaking Ability

Added Effects:
-Ability to control digital monsters
-Ability to use move: Nostalgia

Added effects when used with goggles:
-Be the leader of your team

 

[mumakurau]

SNES
+ 16 bit

Statistics:
+128 to bits
+500 to hardcore gamerness