Stealth: The Game

[Quotation Marx]

I don't sleep.

I nuke your entire country... From the shadows, of course.

 

[Neonbob]

I stole your nukes years ago.
I needed them for my vendetta.

I put small, poisoned spikes in all of your shoes.

 

[Quotation Marx]

I'm a hobo, I go barefoot. But thanks for the new shoes, I'll trade them to adventures for a dire rat tail!

I stab a flaming spike in you and eat the roasted organs.

 

[Neonbob]

I am fire-resistant, and roll a 20 on dodge.
I pick up the flaming spike and stab you IN THE EYE!

I put a cyanide capsule in the place of your morning vitamin.

 

[Quotation Marx]

My house catches fire due to an electrical failure, but I make it out alive, dodging the assassination attempt.

I add a natural gas line to all of your faucets so that when you go for water you have 15 seconds until it ignites.

 

[Switchlurk]

I work as a vulcanologist and after a long day of work i come home to get a drink while still in my heat retardant suit.

I implant a small explosive device in the back of your head while performing critical brain surgery. (I was a dual major)

 

[SteakHeart]

I fall backwards and crack it, thereby defusing it.

I place a beta particle emitting pill in your sandwich.

 

[Quotation Marx]

I notice a maggot writhing in the sandwich and choose not to eat it, ordering pizza instead.

I replace your dog with a robotic assassin that looks exactly like the canine.

 

[Neonbob]

I play fetch with it, and it goes into the lake and shortcircuits.

I replace your dice with nitroglycerine filled versions.

 

[LockHeart]

I roll a lucky seven and escape unharmed.

I direct a super-venemous killer bee assassin at you.

 

[Neonbob]

I put up a smoke screen, and the bees are calmed.

I hand you an atomic cigarette, and then hide.

 

[LockHeart]

I inhale deeply, I'm a ghoul, don't you know?

I grind out the cigarette and lurk in the shadows, waiting to devour you.

 

[Neonbob]

I'm at home in the shadows, fool!
I cut your head off with a trashcan lid for your forgetfulness.

I hire an assassin to kill your loved ones, and then pay your shrink to give you the wrong kind of medication, which causes you to fall into a spiral of ungodly depression, which ends when you take a shotgun to your head.

 

[TheIr0nMike]

I refuse to take medication, I have something against it

I give you the kiss of death

 

[Neonbob]

I don't kiss guys.

I stick rockets in your shoes, and when you put them on, you are shot in two different directions, ripping you apart.

 

[Azraellod]

i disable the rockets by chance when using a shoehorn to put them on.

i chain you to a support pole in an abandoned building.

 

[Neonbob]

I dislocate my entire body and slip out.

I grease all the roads in spain, then convince you to join the running of the bulls.

 

[fanklok]

wooo worlds biggest slip'n'slide

Spoiler: except

i get you addicted to coke then give you a pound of powdered pretzel salt

 

[Neonbob]

I sneeze, and strangle you with a nearby wicker chair.

I put a large amount of explosive in your computer, set to go off when you use the "e" key.

 

[SteakHeart]

Go Go Gadge-BOOM!

I pay your Girlfriend to give you an STD.