Stopping the Oil Leak - Ideas

[XJ-0461]

Get an industrial hose, link one end to the broken pipe, the other to a tanker or something, then have smaller ships remove the oil and take it to the mainland.

While this is going down, they can come up with a more permanent solution.

Spoiler

Get this guy on the case.

Or this, this is good too.

 

[EBHughsThe1st]

Use it in salads in Africa.

I think we should wait until the oil drifts to the top and suck it out.

 

[Sampsa]

Hal Emerich and Naomi Hunter will create a nanomachines that feed on oil?

 

[Quaxar]

Re-elect Bush. He'd be over the oil like a dog over another dog's butt within three days.
The sea has weapons of mass destruction[footnote]Read: Whales[/footnote]!

 

[Vet2501]

Could we not just plug the hole with one of these rock star/activists excessively large ego? I'm thinking Bono. At the same time, they could hold a concert to raise money, lighting provided by the sun shining out of thier arse.

 

[Frungy]

uuh.. I think they have already clogged it u and now they are waiting for the pressure to decrease (how?) to seal it up completely.
The balloon idea is quite retarded, given the massive pressure of the leak.

You have any idea what pressure a carbon fibre or kevlar balloon can take? Plus, if you paused to thing about it properly instead of firing off your assumption that I'm an idiot you'd realise that the pressure equations are completely different than trying to plug a garden hose. The natural oil is escaping from an underground pocket. As it escapes the pocked it sucking water to replace the escaping oil. This is because nature abhors a vacuum. Slip a balloon to the side of the oil leak and allow the natural flow to drag it in, then inflate it in the flow, thus slowing and eventually totally cutting off the inflow of water and the outflow of oil. Pressure isn't such a huge issue since instead of dealing with a liquid in motion if you slow the flow you'll be dealing with static pressure. Naturally this wouldn't be one balloon, but rather several and wouldn't be the instant fix most people are aiming for, but it's a far more reliable solution and has one big advantage over what they're trying right now... which is that it would work.

You may now apologise.

 

[Celtic_Kerr]

I don't know HOW they should do it, but they should stop trying to salvage all the oil and just plug the hole. Theie best attampts to salvage oil still make some of it seep out... If you plug it the right way, they might even be able to make the pressure work in favour of whatever seal they make.

 

[cuddly_tomato]

Getting all the executives of BP, and all the executives of the company that leased them the rig and then trying to block up the hole with their bodies.

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

Suck it away with a big straw?

Then mix it with icecream to create the ulimate spider?

Then block the leak with the corpses of those who drilled the damn thing in the first place?

Then bind it around with shamwows and duct tape?

And squirt it with WD40 and Windex?

 

[GrimHeaper]

Silly putty

That stuff doesn't work, you need gaffer tape. Gaffer tape fixes everything.

Duct tape it fixes worse things than oil pipe lines.

 

[Eatspeeple]

Fire. a lot of fire. Light the whole oil spill.

 

[thethingthatlurks]

Do more of the standard: apply polymers like polynorborene (I actually made some of that stuff, awesome), which will suck up 10 times its weight in oil. Too bad we'd need a lot of it, although it's not too expensive to make, sans the Ruthenium catalyst (that shit be pricey...)

 

[Mistermixmaster]

Drop lit match on spilled oil
????
PROFIT!

...right?

 

[oppp7]

Bioengineered bacteria that eat oil. What happened to those?

 

[mokes310]

...Or call Captain Planet.

CAPTAIN PLANET,
HE'S OUR HERO,
GONNA TAKE POLUTION DOWN TO ZE-RO!

 

[GrimHeaper]

Bioengineered bacteria that eat oil. What happened to those?

They forgot about those or want to save all of the oil as they collect it as they are greedy fucks.

 

[Sparrow]

Spoiler

Get this guy on the case.

Odds on that's what the finale is building up to.

Put a cork in it.
>.>

Also, this. Would have be one giant ************ of a cork though.