Stories and characters you have written

[Lunar Templar]

i write now an then, when i get the inckling to, my now ex GF an i where 'pen pall' in the sense she an i wrote a LOT, non of which i'm ever gonna post anywhere

on my own, i wrote 'novels' or Bio's in CoH, and even taken a cupple of my own characters to start a story propure

how ever, the story i work on 9/10 time is titled 'story 00' since i was watching gundam 00 at the time i literally couldn't think of anything else, ironically, its a fantasy story

it centers around Rozalin Annebell Brandford, the youngest daughter of a now retired Templar Captain and his second wife, his first passing due to illness. Rozalin, is headstrong and has her own plans for her life, having taken up ruin exploring al-la Gina Diggers (from the Gold Digger comic to which i'm subscribed to) she ends up betrayed, forced in to slavery as a gladiator, raped numerous times, transformed into a demon, which enables her to break her bounds and free her self, to later discover, A) her powers have always been in her, just dormant. B) she's NOT a demon at all, and C) her father could very well be the one who cause her torment

currently she's looking for clues to her family history, on her mothers side and absolute proof to discredit the claim she is a demon, and despite her being a 'super powerful demon badass' she is hardly the strongest around, not to mention she is scared emotionally, having had her mother murdered, her father betray her, not to mention every thing that happened while she was confined, she is distrustful of a lot of people, save a few, and totally incapable of a romantic relationship, but because of all that, she's fiercely protective of the few friends she dose have, as well as those she's charge with leading

its still not done, probably won't be any time soon, not to mention my own lack of detail in some parts of it that i'd need to add at some point

 

[leviathanmisha]

I have a character that I've been fine tuning for the past year or so, and I think that I'll start churning out a story with her soon...I'm heading straight for disaster...aren't I?

My character goes by the name of Reyane Elizabeth Hokkain. She is the result of an affair that shook her mother's hometown and her mother was eventually ran out of said town. 17 years later, after her mother's gruesome murder, the state grants Reyane's uncle custody over her and she's forced to return to the small town that despised her mother. But things are not as they seem in this sleepy little town and Reyane isn't the only one to notice this. After digging through her uncle's library on a whim, she discovers a letter written by her Uncle Angus to her Uncle Jasper, the uncle that she lives with, apologizing for whatever he has done wrong and begging that Jasper not take his anger out on Jack, for the boy is innocent of his father's crimes. Jack is Jasper's oldest son, or so Reyane thought.

Jack Mercer Clements is a 15 year old with no knowledge of the world outside his tiny hometown. So, he is more than thrilled when his "worldly" older cousin, Reyane, comes to live with him and his family. But, Reyane's presence in the Clements' household starts a war between his "parents" and things of the past get drudged up when Reyane discovers that Jack is actually the result of a one night stand between his mother, Tina Dowers-Clements, and his "father's" brother, Angus LeRoy Clements.

That's all I got for tonight seeing as it is my bedtime and I have an Advanced College French test in the morning! Night fellow Escapists!

 

[Marik Bentusi]

Is it a bird? Is it a kitchen? No, it's Pigeon Dude! Fast as lightning, thick as bread!

Normally I just watch subs. They usually have a higher quality translation-wise. The translators are fans which might sound like they lack the skill to do a HQ sub. Instead, they're at least as skilled as the pros and their passion towards the medium ensures they'll spend extra time and effort to make it a great sub. Most of them anyway.
I almost always have problems with dubs, the voiceactors aren't well picked or they don't have a feeling for the atmosphere. Worst case scenario, somebody tries to make the series "European" or "American" and changes vital elements, censors stuff, etc. My biggest exception yet is the purchase of a NGE Rebuild DVD. I originally just wanted to buy it to support the artists and keep it for the sub version (in English and German - which is important because if you think English translations suck, you haven't seen the German ones), but then I gave the German dub a chance and it was unexpectedly good. How good? Well, the voiceactor was able to pronounce the Japanese r/l pretty well. Now that's something you don't get all day.

Spoiler: Aitia characters

I have to thank you for making me translate the first chapter of Aitia, I finally know again what I wanted Kharseth to be like. I think I had a plan in mind when I started the latest rewrite, but other things took priority and I forgot about the story and Kharseth's concept. So yeah, let me revise him a little.

I picked up a lot of tropes from TV Tropes, but it also inspired me to create new ones. A character trope I'm currently engineering is the "Smoker". That's who Kharseth on a basic layer is.
First of all, the Smoker is designed to be both a refreshing variety of the "I'm an energetic idiot with spiky hair and I LOVE IT" type of hero and the glooming antihero who's lost faith in humanity before the story even began. He's also not supposed to be sweet and caring on the outside and really be a wangsty [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Wangst] manchild inside. I think those are the most common hero types nowadays.
The Smoker involves a lot of attributes from character types I actually enjoy watching and would have liked to be the main character instead, so I still need some more time and space to try and see if I can actually write a hero with "secondary character attributes".
The Smoker is an unpleasant person on the first look. If you're a non-smoker, you'll probably be disgusted by the smell and the though to purchase expensive drugs that are bad on your health. Kharseth doesn't smoke, but he has other attributes that can isolate him in similar ways. Like I already mentioned, he's thinking a lot and he's not saying a lot. In general he's skeptical and has a "crossed arms" attitude. He doesn't want to mix in anywhere. He doesn't want every stranger to be his friend. That's a bit of the antihero attitude of people who have lost faith in humanity, but it's not quite as dark, because...
just because someone smokes doesn't mean he or she is a bad person. Most are just used to the bad habit and can't or don't want to shake lose from it. In Kharseth's case, it's not an addiction, it's just a trait of personality engraved in him. However, if you can actually get a bit closer to him so he'll actually will want to be your friend, you can see he's getting less and less rough. That doesn't mean he gets soft and vulnerable, it just means he'll actually become a friendly and thoughtful guy that really cares about you. He doesn't care that much about everyone and their cousin tho, which makes him certainly different from The Messiah archetype.
What makes him a bit more like an unlikable smoker is part of his Blood Knight personality, which actually becomes very important over the course of the story. When he's among people, The Smoker is hesitant to act, he watches alone from the sidelines and ponders about whatever he ponders. Kharseth however becomes very different when in battle. Maybe you could say it's his "biggest cigarette", the main trait that makes him unlikable to people who know of this habit. He sorta becomes a Blood Knight, but not quite. He loves the challenge and the pacing, the tricks you have to pull of and the clever usage of skills. While he's able to use a sword and guns, he's not the typical idiot hero that goes in and just wants to wreck some shit. His enjoyment lies within the thinking process and planning while under heavy pressure and adrenaline.
But have you ever seen someone enjoying their smoke so much they smile and laugh and grin? No. It's the same with Kharseth and that's where he's different from your usual Blood Knight who usually enjoy his battles to the degree where they're laughing and smiling [http://i561.photobucket.com/albums/ss54/blackraven126/zaraki_kenpachi.jpg]. Kharseth keeps the cool (most of the time), but gets a deep enjoyment from the act anyway. You could say he only really lives or blossoms in battle, which of course makes him increasingly interesting for Karive's plans and also makes for some very nice battle scenes. His willpower plays its greatest role in regards of battle, too, of course.
I don't know about America because ever since 9/11 patriotism seems to be growing stronger, but by en large in Europe we're of the opinion that war and violence is bad, which is why you can't acquire guns as easily as in the US for example. Silvernight is similar to that. They're a consistent society without neighbor countries that could start wars, all the defense is done under the supervision of the Traumkrieger. If you're wondering why there are little problems inside Silvernight, let's just say the Traumkrieger pull some tricks. After all, being loved by your people means you're safe on your throne.
Anyway, a Blood Knight simply doesn't fit in that society, which is one of the main reasons he becomes isolated in the first place. I imagine a Smoker could have a different personality trait that does that, but in Kharseth's case it's the Blood Knight trait.

So, to summarize what a Smoker is:
- in general stays away from society and is evaded by society
- actually a decent person if you get past his "smoking" (in this case: Blood Knight trait + the general smoker characteristic to stay away from people)
- calculating, calm, but far from emotionally dead, especially the better you get to know them

I'm still trying to make the Smoker easier to pin-point so I can then individualize the trope for Kharseth, but that's how far I'm at the moment.


Lilly was just sold to a single owner as a birthday present and didn't have any owner changes. I haven't thought up many details about her past yet, but I wanted to surprise the reader by making her past that sounds like the worst - little girl alone in slavery, what could possibly go wrong? - the "best" and the past that sounds like the best - growing up in a pretty well-respected upper class family in the middle of a big, flourishing city - actually the worst one (in case you didn't keep track, I was just talking about Talitha's past). That's mainly because her owner doesn't care much about his slaves or wants to know how to treat them "properly" (read: like shit), so often he'll just treat them like anyone else - which isn't exactly friendly either, but it's much, much better than the average treatment.
Another slave probably couldn't thank the moon goddess enough to be in Lilly's position, but Lilly has bigger dreams in mind and isn't satisfied at all despite knowing how others are treated. That marks part of her inner conflict of "dream vs reality".
I'd say most of the time the interaction between Lilly and her owner could be described as big-brother-picking-on-little-sister, except not quite as close and with a brother that has no problems with hitting his little sister. And the sister has to do all the dirty work. But overall her position is probably closer to cleaner-and-maid than slavery. Including a few beatings. But not many. You get my drift.

Spoiler: creepy ass music and other stuff

Haha, I told you we're in the Matrix, man, I told you!

Well, in a way dreams pose a big threat, but only those who have been given a consistent shape by Karive. Hmm...
alright, how about this:
Karive's "Army of Nightmares" is a basically just bunch of monsters, but they're also built from the original nightmares. At some point the characters will finally be able to fight them directly. Maybe at some point the Nightmares are changing their strategy and do something like a suicidal attack that will dissolve their shape, but also suck in the characters into the original nightmare, or a twisted part of it. I could either make the resulting fight "inside the nightmare" one of psychological breakdown that plans on pumping the characters with so much fear they'll let their guard down, or I go down the Dragon Age and Bleach line of "inner fights" and make it a battle of the Nightmare and the characters and whoever loses will lose their soul/die. Of course since the Nightmare has a field advantage.
However, both of those things might already bore the reader at that point. Karive already uses psychological warfare and he also uses the Void to shape a nightmare for the characters, tho he hardly ever engages in direct combat.
However, it's pretty obvious I can do neither thing if I just turn every single nightmare into a suicide attacker. Fighting of two dozen of them would mean two dozen "inner fights", which would stretch the actual progress per page very, very thin. If I stick with the general idea, I'll either make every Nightmare sending a small impression of their original nightmare every time they're killed, piling up more and more fear the more of them you defeat (which of course is very distanced from the original idea of smuggling the characters in a nightmare) or I'll have a new type of Nightmare that consists from many other Nightmares and soaked up whatever little bits of original nightmares were still connected with the beast. Those would be rarer, but also more dangerous Nightmares that could initiate "inner fights" only every now and then. Of course then there's still the question what kind of "inner fight" - direct or psychological - would happen.

If I write romance, it'll be different from average romance you see in action-themed stories of any medium for instance. Normally, you either have romance as the central focus of your story or as a little gimmick that
a) is introduced early, but only resolved at the very end, if at all ("UST - The Series"; so common I don't think you need examples from me)
b) is a reason for the hero to fight, often because of revenge (Dante's Inferno)
c) produces a shallow female character you can put on posters and can have snarky exchanges between her and the male lead (like in the Prince of Persia reboot for example)
d) has already happened for the most, so whatever two characters are already a couple when the story begins and it probably won't have changed much by the end. (at least half of all Beta Couples [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BetaCouple] ever created, FMA's Izumi/Sieg Curtis couple for example)
I reject all of those ideas.
I want this [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FireForgedFriends] to become this [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BattleCouple] and Karive will provide the fire that does not only burn, but also smelt together.
I actually like to dicuss this topic as much as possible because when I thought about romance I knew it would be a huuuge challenge. So huge in fact I couldn't dismiss it. The possibilities and opportunities were so many and the challenge itself to pull it off correctly was always nagging at the back of my head.
When I go over what I've already thought out for the story, I realize the story itself is pretty bad and I've focused too much on troping. It's like decorating a brick. Your decoration can be as pretty as it wants to be, it's still a frikkin brick we're talking about.
The beginning of the story is better than the middle part so far because in the beginning the Golden Age makes sure that adventure is all in all still awesome and fun. When Karive starts breaking down the first protagonist, that fun is lost because if it wasn't, you wouldn't buy the setting that is growing dark and serious. It's still okay tho because Talitha initiates something like a mystery subplot about finding out what happened to her father and she hasn't yet fallen victim to Karive. When she does, too, the story has lost most of its color. That sounds like exactly the kind of effect you'd want when strolling down the Ages and it's supposed to get worse and worse, but it's not what I want. That way it's simply becoming a story about a super-powered antagonist bullying others. There's little variety and like I said a very good, a "beautiful" story invites you to a rollercoaster of emotions. It's fine to have that against a black background as it'll make all the other colors shine, but you'll need to have other colors than black, too. I hope you get the metaphor.
I don't know what you thought when I was talking about romance in the story, maybe by saying what I don't want I've given you a better direction, but I still haven't told you what I want. I'm still planning it all out, but I can give you some rough points of interest I'd like to fuse together for the final thing
- in general, there are "cute [http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3635/3377365370_0bfc935028.jpg]" or "hot [http://s.myniceprofile.com/myspacepic/196/19628.jpg]" romances, one with a focus on emotion, one with a focus on sexuality. While a mix is appreciates, I'm leaning towards cute.
- a fluid transition from stranger to friends to lovers that never receives "hard comments" like "we're a couple now" or some bullshit like that. That's about as bad as an Informed Ability. I want to reader to realize themselves the two are getting closer and closer together
- related to the idea above, no "hard hints" that are definite indicators of a change in relationship. In other words, hugs alone must be able to develop the emotional momentum needed to show the characters that the two persons are in love. It doesn't mean there are no kisses, it means they're not necessary as "hard hints" and the readers can see the change in relationship just from how the characters treat each other.
- related to the above, breaking down of sexist role distribution, a.k.a. the gentleman who leads and holds open doors and invites to restaurants and the lady who just looks pretty, is calm, shuts up and says please and thank you. Above all, and that's a very important part of my general female character creation, too, the two are equal, at least in this specific couple. I want to show the reader how odd it looks when both partners are engaging in both "roles" simultaneously although we pride ourselves on equality of genders etc. The woman holding open the door? The man preparing the meals (by default, not as a unique surprise)? What sorcery is this!
This also includes Talitha and Kharseth equally helping out each other in battles and being able of kicking ass equally. None of the two is supposed to be (far) ahead of the other by en large. That includes not giving Talitha more opportunities to show what she's made of simply to prove a point that she's capable of dealing with the problem as well as male counterparts. Speaking of which: No fucking having to prove she's as good as the boys. When "you fight like a girl" became old, everyone and their cousin suddenly decided every girl had to show she's as tough as the boys. That's bullcrap. In this story, you simply *are* equal. No need to stress it, no need to be better just because of your gender.
- romance is not a main source of drama. While it won't be free of problems, I don't want any of this kind of fucking bullshit [http://www.cad-comic.com/cad/20080602]. Pardon the language, but there's a reason why this comic strip started a thousand flame wars. If you have no idea what it's from, just google for "ctrl alt del miscarriage". Yeah, that scene about a miscarriage. No, actually the comic is supposed to be wacky humor and a bit of parodying the gaming industry. No, I don't know what the hell the author thought when he did that.
While I'll very surely bring in hurdles so the romance doesn't get boring, I don't want it to become a tumor [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RomanticPlotTumor] and I do not want the problems connected with it to stand in the foreground. No fucking distractions in combat because the character is thinking of their relationship. None of that crap. It gets in the way, it's annoying, it doesn't fit the atmosphere. On the other hand I also don't want to structure the characters' lives in a way that means fighting in the morning and solving relationship problems in the evening. That's painfully close to a dry day separated into time for work and time for family which not only utterly destroys the immersion and reminds you of your own life, but also breaks any pacing and long-term buildup of atmosphere. The plot is not a slave of romance, romance is a part of the plot. I don't know how important fights will be in the second half (the turning point being Kharseth getting a real name and being brought to the Silvernight) as it's supposed to focus more on psychological warfare (and thus emotions in general, making romance an even greater stylistic asset), but it'll probably still be less important than the fighting. Like I said, the actual plot for the second half still isn't planned out, but I think it'll have to be a lot about the trio finding together.
So yeah, romance will have to stand in line just like everybody else, it'll just be part of the story that provides emotional momentum.
- I want Romance primarily to provide emotional Big Damn Heroes [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BigDamnHeroes] moments, a.k.a. You Are Not Alone [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YouAreNotAlone] and Crowning Moment of Heartwarming [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/SugarWiki/HeartwarmingMoments?from=Main.CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming]. It's easy to write that something universally bad happens to a character and that he's fighting some shit, but it's on a completely different to control your readers on an emotional level and with more than just pity, ideally you're so strongly connected to go through their whole lives during the story and, let's face it, so far the story is just pretty much just "You lose, good day sir."
TL;DR: More emotional variety
- the relationship will be "fully" developed (a.k.a. to the point of actual and open feelings of love for each other) looong before the story is over as its the basis for many emotional rollercoasters
- As I see it, there's "weak" and "strong" romance. Weak romance is the kind that serves as a safety pillow where the characters have an out-time away from the action, it's sorta building up a parallel to the action part of the plot. Strong romance is the kind that's a fuel of power. Not care-bear style, but it simply fills you with a will to live, builds you up and keeps you going. I want that strong romance. Remember how I once said that hate fuels the willpower of the first protagonist in the beginning, that he knows about Emotion Powerup and that getting pissed of will make him endure more shit? I won't say love will purge that hate and replace it as a fuel, but it's preventing Kharseth from burning himself out with his hate.
That said,
- love is not the answer to life, it does not make your life suddenly happy and it isn't happiness itself. Love as many faces and many of them are also dark (which is why Talitha avoids it in the first place). But like I said, I'd like to use it a lot to lighten up the mood. If I keep breaking my characters at this pace, they'll be hanging from the ceiling before Lilly gets introduced. Of course you can always use love to burn out completely people. It's like getting your hopes up and then falling and the stronger your feelings of love were, the longer the fall will be and the higher the chance it'll break your neck. Love will not fulfill the characters and make them happy. It'll make them able to carry a weight they couldn't carry alone. Two people dare to go further into the darkness than a lone person.
- in a similar vein, love doesn't make you just forget about all your problems and become all lovey dovey. There should be moments where they'll be very close to each other, but most of the time they should just come off as very good friends that care a lot for each other. None of that teenager bullshit with a couple not being able to survive 5 minutes without holding hands or kissing. Just no.
That said, there seems to be a weird curiosity in real life that makes love completely different from friendship. It's the certain kind of love where the main goal is apparently to hold your partner, not to lose them and to be respectful with each other, but never quite understanding each other on a deep level. Naturally that sorta relationship is almost always building up to marriage as it serves as something like a certificate that you own this and that person (got less serious with the social acceptance of divorce, but still). Like I said before, the romance relationship I want to write doesn't need a label and it doesn't need marriage. It's not even about two people trying to hold each other back from running away from the relationship. When there's a big fight in a relationship, everyone's instantly thinking of breaking up (that goes for both readers and the involved characters or RL equivalents). This relationship is supposed to be different. You know how brothers and sisters can also have big fights, but they'll still stay brother and sister? Siblings go through so much in their life that a (healthy) sibling relationship can't just be broken up. It's the same with this relationship. If you find something unsettling about the other, you don't consider "joining the market for a better offer". You're sticking together and want to talk with the other person about it, you want to change something rather than looking for a fresh start elsewhere and running away. I don't know if you get what I'm talking about, but I hope you do.


Hope that enormous read made it clearer what kind of romance I want to write. Awaiting yer feedback and thoughts. Just keep in mind I'm not planning on doing a shounen battle story or something. It's supposed to be a mix of lots of things, but the visible battles are able to show a lot of it, so they're prominent.

 

[Vault101]

I've written quite a few shot stories, well their not really short stories just random ones started with no end

Usually silly sci fi stuff,

but my favorite was a short one about a guy who burns down his childhood school and then drives to somones house and blows off a father and sons head with a shotgun

I recent one I did was about a bounty hunter who travels undercover to mars which is a totalitarion dystopia, to track down a criminal

yeah I usually wringht this stuff for myself and no ones ever read it

ok one really crazy one (I know its bad But I was really bored at the time) so thease two people in a space ship crash onto an ice/arctic planet, as usual one starts slowly going insane, he builds snowmen while the other trys desperatley to contact somone for help, then theres ghosts and other supernatual stuff going on, the crazy one starts getting bibical, sane one is freaking out and then find out that the planet they are on is the orginal earth, the ghosts/zombis are the ones drowed when god caused the flood (because noah built a spaceship not an ark) and then the planet freezed over...

 

[TyranidXX]

I'm trying to become a Fan-fiction writer at the moment but I keep losing interest in my story ideas and then just ditch them altogether. I can, however, describe what I plan on doing along with what was a year twelve assessment item.

What I did was a short story that was a prologue to a failed story idea based off Funcom's the secret world. the plot was simply two Templar's in a village, they get attacked by a vampire, one is injured while the other is knocked away, battle insures between vampire and Templar, Templar wins as the other Templar dies.

The ones I plan on doing (hopefully) are based on a dead space/halo crossover and magic: the gathering. The crossover focuses on a elite squad of ODSTs sent to the ship and planet while the other describes a day in the life of Jake Tanis, my custom made Planeswalker.

 

[SixWingedAsura]

I write fantasy, but I can never seem to finish anything. I usually end up looking back at what I've done, say it's crap, and get rid of it, much to the irritation of my friends who assure me that my work is awesome. I always keep saying I know I can do better, and thus, have yet to actually finish anything.

 

[Charisma]

tnt for the brain

Spoiler: kharseth

based on your further definition of kharseth, he sounds somewhat like me in a lot of ways, particularly in the realm of social isolation. in most social situations i tend to gravitate towards the least populated areas and keep to myself, but those who approach me find me generally pleasant and courteous and not even that cold. at least, i'd like to think that's how they find me. so i'd be surprised if in the actual text that i didn't sympathize a great deal with him.

it seems odd to me that he feels the same way about his "addiction" to fighting as a smoker feels about smoking. his interest in fighting doesn't actually sound like an addiction to me, more of an enjoyable sport or hobby he participates in as often as he can, not because he MUST, but because he CAN. if he doesn't like it, why does he keep doing it? is he addicted to the adrenaline high?

Spoiler: slavery

i really like what you're doing with lilly's past here. on first contact with her past, the reader is likely to go "o wow she was a slave dat sux (((" and as a result they're likely to characterize her as being exceptionally strong for still being bright and happy. but the reality is her time as a slave wasn't actually that rough, if it could even be considered hard even compared to the life of even normal people with loving parents. you set your character up to be very well respected and admired by your audience, and then pee all over her until that respect is all but completely lost. an interesting allegory for a lot of real human interactions - people who seem at first to be smart and strong sometimes can be exposed as not as smart or strong by learning more about them.

that's my experience, anyway, and it's a direct and unfortunate result of my instinct to see only the best in people, allow myself to be fooled by their masks. it has led to a lot of disappointment in my life, i can tell you. like one of my girlfriends who i thought was so super creative and brilliant. but looking back i can only say: lol.

Spoiler: about the nightmare stuff i can only say i don't really have anything to add. you're figuring out how to work one of my ideas into your mythology, so i can't help you there except to possibly remind you that you might not need to do it

what?

Spoiler: love sucks

ok i buy your vision for the "ideal" romance, and it's pure and good and fine, but how are you planning on presenting it correctly? romance is so unspeakably hard to get right. even my beloved avatar series i think has no idea how to do romance. harry potter gets it mostly right, but only because it's not hard to write teen romances once you understand the teenage mind, which rowling clearly does (no sarcasm).

this is why i approach romance like it's a vicious wild animal brooding and staring at me with a lot of slack on its chain. if it isn't perfect, it's garbage. if it's garbage, it's a bigass rotting elephant corpse in the room that stinks up the whole rest of the story. it sucks.

of course, for plenty of readers romance is a super easy sell, so if your audience includes stupid people, women, or stupid women COUGH COUGHtwilight, excuse me, then the romance can be imperfect, even terrible, and your reader base will still eat it up like chocolate cheesecake.

but for me, romance has to be perfect. so my question is, how do you plan on setting up the love between kharseth and talitha? what brings them together, what qualities make them attractive to each other, what makes their relationship so strong, etc etc. you should probably keep in mind that by setting up that their romance is "perfect" and "ideal" you've raised the bar for yourself by the nth power. romance itself is hard enough to do right, but a PERFECT romance might just be an unrealistic goal. it certainly would be for me; i have a few romances planned in my story, and i am totally cool with them being imperfect, flawed, and even doomed. actually, i'm happy they're imperfect; it's more realistic that way.

so my homework for you is to really brainstorm exactly how you plan on setting up some kind of olympian "perfect" romance between these two characters. keep in mind you might have to alter their personalities for it to work the way you want it to, and spend some time deciding where your priorities lie.

note that by calling it perfect i don't mean to say they have no problems. that would stretch the suspension of disbelief way too far. but when you have two people who can work through their differences in the correct, most mature way and remain devoted to each other afterwords no matter what, that still places the relationship under the umbrella of perfection. so let's revise my description to "believable" perfection.

it's also interesting to note that your plans for gender roles are "safe" in their fantasy, in that no reasonable person can disagree with you there.

i would personally argue to make sure you realize that men and women are biologically different and therefore they shouldn't really be regarded as "totally equal in all things," they should rather be thought of as "equally important." it's totally unrealistic to say women can fight as well as men; men are literally built to fight, while women flat out are not. it's fine to say specific women can learn to fight just as well as specific men, but they are genetically disposed away from the world of physical exertion so it's impractical to say otherwise. unless, of course, you're doing some kind of fantasy mechanic for biological gender equality, in which case you should probably understand exactly what that means and affects and how that influences society and such.

i mean, i understand where you're coming from; you despise the necessity of women to prove they're as good as the guys, because you feel it comes from some kind of unfair social assumption. so while it'll make you look like some kind of progressive revolutionary, two things you might need to understand are 1. the reasons for this (at least in the real world) are biological, and 2. you're not the first person to try to make this point. not by a long shot.

hope this doesn't sound condescending or critical, because that's totally not how i meant it. i never, ever criticize someone else for errors in thinking the likes of which i feel i could never be guilty of myself.

anyway that's what i have to say on that subject. reject or accept it at your leisure; some of it may not even be remotely applicable, for one reason or another.

Spoiler: in closing

boobs lol

 

[Marik Bentusi]

ohohoh witty conclusion.

Spoiler: Kharseth

Might actually be hard to relate to him even if you think you can based on what I wrote. The introduction of Kharseth himself is pretty late, when he gets into Silvernight. Before that, he's mainly the author avatar with a bit of spice from Arkenighte's soul influencing his skills and characters on a subconscious level.
I'm getting a bit tired of always distinguishing between Author Avatar and Arkenighte, I'll just stick with A-Side and B-Side like on a cassette if you don't have something against it. The two souls aren't exactly seperated from each other, yet different, so it's like a single cassette with two sides. I'll name them after their initials, so A-Side stands for Arkenighte and B-Side stands for the Author Avatar (my real name that I don't mention on open discussion starts with B and it's as much as B-Side tells about his name, too).
So yeah, when you get the first chapter you won't actually be reading about Kharseth or a Smoker person at all, instead it'll be pretty much B-Side. Only through the soul fusion and "bleeding effect" that unites the two souls and memories and of course the unique experiences during the course of the story the "cassette" actually becomes Kharseth as I tried to describe him.
That's why his personality is still pretty vague I guess. Haven't written to his introduction to Silvernight yet. There was an old script that went to his banishment from Silvernight, but it didn't include Talitha, Karive was a mean monster spawner at best and Lilly was a secondary character. So yeah, a lot has happened since then and I'm sure a lot will change until I get to Silvernight, too

Spoiler: peeing on characters

I actually didn't think of that. Lilly's still a tough girl, but all in all met a better fate that left her with more positive spirit and a more positive attitude to life. It's probably stemming from the fact that among slaves all slave keepers are characterized as evil incarnate, yet Lilly got lucky due to rather unique circumstances, so she keeps looking for exceptions for dark rules and believes in possible light everywhere. It sounds naive and idealistic, but that's part of her character. Can't make the whole cast brood like Batman. In fact I've noticed that one of the safer ways to find out whether you're a main character in my story is whether or not you're content or happy with your life. If you're not and shit happens to you on a daily basis, congrats, you're probably in my main cast.

The point where Lilly gets to earn a little respect from the audience - or should earn anyway - is after she gets into Silvernight and decides for a rougher life with Kharseth and Talitha although she had plenty of other options to live a rather comfortable as a civilist in Silvernight. There's also a lot of work for her to do since she is neither a trained fighter nor can she work magic nor is she a healer or something "useful" like that and she certainly doesn't want to stand by and make sandwiches or something. So in her quest to be useful and return at least part of the favor to her saviors, she picks up "normal" weapons and technology, which becomes important for maintaining Kharseth's artificial organs/limbs and is also useful for offense purposes, a.k.a. she becomes a sniper and aims for high value targets Kharseth and Talitha couldn't reach otherwise.
She's also dual-wielding flamethrowers of the size of handguns. I think I said enough.
I definitely didn't want to piss on her. :C

Spoiler: Romance

I'll just have to try and tame the savage beast. Nothing's easy on the first try. I had to write many Mary Sues and Marty Stues till I figured out a recipe for a character that's both special and interesting and yet not Superman/woman. If I implement romance (again, I can't really plan this, only have thoughts for the case it occurs. Sometimes a random Talitha comes in existence, sometimes my plans get completely screwed over because I suddenly feel like it. Dangit, Traumkrieger, you're there to prevent that from happening! ;P) it'll probably be a gigantic fail the first time and I'll save the chapter and laugh at it when I feel depressed after the initial phase of embarrassment, haha. I have a little side story going that's smaller and more compact with little seperated arcs where I can experiment. I write and rewrite it whenever my brain seems to melt from Aitia.

You're right, what I wrote you probably does sound horribly idealistic, probably because as of yet I have no idea how to make it both interesting and keep it in the background. Relationship problems and how they're solved are always interesting in this kinda genre (I guess - at least it's second to how they get together), but they're quick to evolve into plot tumors and if I have the choice between cutting out the romance and make it introduce a genre shift by 180°, I'll definitely cut it out.

About gender equality - there's another detail I forgot to tell you. Boy I hope I don't mess this up during the real deal.
Society in our world has been dominated by males for the biggest amount of time and it's still today in many regions. It even reaches out to different cultures, I think apart from the mythological amazones I can't think of a society that's dominated by females. The reason for this and the gender roles that stem from it probably dates back to the times when muscle power meant everything and male bodies are better physically equipped for that kinda thing.
However, shift to fantasy world and we have the reverse happening in Elven scoiety, at least if I keep with my plans for making elves in general more androgynous than humans. There's no big physical difference that way, but there is a "metaphysical difference", i.e. females are in general able to work magic better than males and it can be used for destructive power at least as well as muscles. I figure that should do a lot of balancing for the human race, the Elven (old) societies would be female-dominated (complete with different roles) and races like Orcs (I think I've barely touched/deconstructed that race yet) who in general rely more on muscle power would still be male dominated, albeit less so than human society in our world (except for when I wipe any knowledge about magic from their historical records - but it seems unlikely the whole race is anarcane (can't work magic) or just never stumbled across magic).
Talitha's a half-elf which would mean she didn't get the full injection of Elven gender roles, but on the other hand her only surviving parent that could teach her was her Elven father. On the other other hand Apotropé is a melting pod of different races, so I figure the gender roles aren't exactly that set in stone.
Still, societies dominated by males aren't common because magic balances out fists. That was my point. You could say it's our society that's out of balance since we have no magic. Male and female are different, but in the end should be roughly equal *waves propaganda flag* I hope I don't come off as a preacher even tho I don't want to explicitely state it, just naturally implement it without further comment.

I read your post in the morning and I'm now writing from university again (alas I don't have time for the part of discussion on dA), in the travel time I've tried to calm down the idealistic value of the relationship without breaking its status as the antithesis to all the shit that's happened and will keep happening to the two and without pulling it into the foreground. I think it'll be tough to do and I'll have to experiment and read up on other romances to see what's a fail and what's not. I guess it'll be hard to do with my meager real experience with the topic, but I'm up for the challenge, haha.
13 minor to middle-sized possible flaws or potential conflict sources so far, I'm working on it. As always, tell me if you'd like to hear it and if you have anything to add to the comment.
Also, what the hell is perfect romance? It's not "perfect", that's for sure.

 

[PiFace314]

Well, I've been working on a pseudo Good Omens-style graphic novel script called Fallen: A Divine Comedy about an angel who has to go through the Nine Circles of Hell to stop the destruction of the world and his unwilling partner-in-crime demon.

 

[Marik Bentusi]

pff

Forget I sent you the first message today ( http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.241984-Stories-and-characters-you-have-written?page=5#8946985 ) it doesn't even make sense.

 

[Jakub324]

My main character is Major Alex Asimov. He's one of two two thousand survivors of an invasion that killed 99.875% of the population of his planet. Now, they resist and pray for a miracle.

 

[Jakub324]

I write fantasy, but I can never seem to finish anything. I usually end up looking back at what I've done, say it's crap, and get rid of it, much to the irritation of my friends who assure me that my work is awesome. I always keep saying I know I can do better, and thus, have yet to actually finish anything.

I have the same problem. I'll write perhaps 4000 words and then have another idea I want to try, and then I forget about the previous idea. Oh well.

 

[chaosyoshimage]

I was writing a short story that I've had in my head, but then I had the idea that it would make a neat simple RPG. All my stories turn out this way, I guess I'm a game designer at heart. So, now I'm trying to learn how to make a Chrono Trigger-like game in RPG Maker VX...

 

[Smagmuck_]

I turned Modern Warfare two into an Epic... Yeah, I did.