Strangest threat ever

[Baeken]

"Dear god, stop talking or I won't call off the assassin I hired."
"What?!"
"Red dot."

 

[Griphphin]

"I will rape you with the wide side of a rake"
"...with a cactus"
"...with a brick"
"I will hypnotize you into thinking like a successful businessman, starting out small with a catering service until you hit the big time with stock investments and multinational business meetings. Wall Street will love you, you'll be working out of a 20-stroy-or-so office in due time. Now I want you to take an elevator to the top of that office building, and promptly step off. Call me back afterwards for further instructions."
"I'LL MAKE SEX TO YOU!"
"One day I'm going to come over to your house with a trunk full of bricks, each with a note attached detailing a different act of dickery you've committed since we've known each other, and they will all make friends with your face."
And so many more...

All courtesy of my group of friends and I to each other.

 

[theklng]

I've yet to receive many but i have given a few in my time. Most of them involve me standing outside their house and staring into their window until they break.

are you for hire?

are you willing to pay?

it depends, if i ever come into large sums of money ill probably have to find people like you and place them on every front lawn in a small town. the creepiness would exceed all nominal levels!

 

[juli888]

I went home and the man has asked - What is the time? I have answered it. He followed me, was dark in the street. Then it has begun conversation, and has asked a name, I have not answered it. It has got a knife and has started to threaten me that will rape or will kill, I have run, but it was drunk and has not caught up with me. I thank god that it with me has made nothing.
________________
stream movies [http://www.watch-movies-tv.info]

 

[DanDeFool]

Just heard this one on Spoony's SWAT 4 LP.

"I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE FUCKING SOUL, YOU FUCKING ASSHAT!"

I love it.

 

[Eatbrainz]

Tell me what you know or i'll pull my own thumb off, i swear to GOD i'll do it!

 

[crudus]

"Stop or I will rearrange your organs in reverse alphabetical order"

Post 111 reminded me of the times I've threatened my husband with peanut butter.
He really hates the smell - does make for a tasty and effective deterrent.

That threat is better when it is out of context

I've yet to receive many but i have given a few in my time. Most of them involve me standing outside their house and staring into their window until they break.

are you for hire?

are you willing to pay?

Psychological torture. My favorite. Its only weakness is it doesn't work if they know what you are doing and it takes a while.

 

[The AtticWarrior]

"I'LL KILL YOU, I'LL KILl YOU TO DEATH!!!!" That is all.

 

[Vhite]

"When I grow up, Im gonna have daughter thats just like you and I will ruin her life."
From HAWP.

 

[AMMO Kid]

I'VE FOUGHT MUDCRABS MORE FEARSOME THAN YOU!!!

or my personal threat

I'll kill you! But first I will sneak into your house at night and ask your children what your weaknesses are while you sleep! The rest depends on how old your daughter is!!!

 

[Sterling|D-Reaver]

I've yet to receive many but i have given a few in my time. Most of them involve me standing outside their house and staring into their window until they break.

are you for hire?

are you willing to pay?

Psychological torture. My favorite. Its only weakness is it doesn't work if they know what you are doing and it takes a while.

ahh yes my specialty. . . although I don't really use it as a threat except against this one guy at school that freaks if I hold a creepy smile on my face and don't blink. . . just staring at him, he often leaves the room

as for verbal abuse these are some I have put to use. . . (NOTE: all my threats are at a quite friendly volume, usually with a smile and stare as accompaniment. I find its worth it even if people miss them sometimes)

"shut it or I'll rearrange your A$$hole around that chair. . ."

"I WILL replace your testicles with burning coals. . ."

 

[crudus]

"I WILL replace your testicles with burning coals. . ."

I like it. I already say threats in a friendly manner. It makes you seem much more serious. I am using this next time I need to threaten someone. Take note people, the best threats are the ones that don't involve death.