Stupid Classmates.

[BytByte]

In an AP European History class, a girl thought Martin Luther King Jr. started the Protestant Reformation. Our summer reading book before the class even got started was entirely about Martin Luther.

 

[Phasmal]

Some darn silly things were said when I was taking my childcare course.

One was the lecturer asking `What do you do when a child bites you?`
Random classmate: `Bite them back!`

Another was in the First Aid class we had to do.
It was mostly supposed to be about CPR and accident response, but loads of people enjoyed asking the nurse `Can you get pregnant if you X`, so one day the nurse was talking about sperm and all that's in it and a girl from the back asked: `So, is that why it tastes so bad?`
The entire room turned and looked at her. Then we had a bit of a giggle about it.

 

[w9496]

I haven't had any really stupid classmates, but I have friends who would say the dumbest shit to try and mess with the teacher.

My friend Alex once asked my 8th grade health teacher if girls could get pregnant from sperm getting in their skin spores. That's not even the worst one.

 

[Kironcho]

In the computer lab for Science, writing a powerpoint on extinct animals (i.e. dinosaurs, the dodo bird) and why they became extinct:

Girl: *exasperated sigh* Ugh, Sir, why are there no REAL pictures of dinosaurs?!

I wish I was joking.

 

[BlackStar42]

School was just run-of-the-mill Jackasses, no-one of note.

Some of my classmates in Freshman year though, dear lord...

(One girl didn't want to queue for chits, so helped herself to several vials of KCN when the tech wasn't looking, got it all over her hands (without gloves) and then came up to me asking what it was and what we needed it for anyway. Another lab partner say nothing wrong with plunging closed vessels of DCM into boiling water, not using fumehoods, or mixing oxidants and solvents, and a special prize goes to the girl who not only ignores the rules against pipetting by mouth, decides to do so, in a microbiology class w/ HSV.)

None of the three made it past year 2, but I'm amazed no-one got themselves killed.

Dear Lord... How do people like that get access to things that dangerous? I mean, potassium cyanide, Christ...

 

[The Funslinger]

A guy in my science class pushed a bunsen burner to the side of his desk up against the wall where it promptly set fire to a poster. Panicking, he used his coat to try and extinguish the flames but it was one of those puffed up ones (made of like the shell suit style material and filled fluff?) that in turn caught fire.

In a last ditch attempt to resolve the situation he throw his coat out the window behind him into the bushes where it (thankfully) burnt out instead of setting fire to the hedge.

Serves him right for wearing a god damn shell suit. Blegh...

every where i was sat there would be someone who would give me a hard time, be cause i said I was interested in having a gun collection they started calling me "Armageddon" and made it sound like I was a psychopath.

Well, I'm in rural Britain, but my college is in one of the more urban areas.

I did end up on the butt end of some school shooting jokes when it came to light I had a shotgun, but that was all in good humor.

The one actually malevolent guy in the campus stopped trying to threaten with and antagonize me when he found that out, funnily enough.

OT: A girl in my year 11 English class thought this short film was based on a true story:


Her and the girl sitting with her wouldn't shut up for the supply teacher during a skim reading test. Literally the entire class and the teacher were telling them to clamp it, and they abjectly refused.

Spoiler: Cue one of my better rants

Something along the lines of: Shut the fuck up the pair of you. [they try to talk back] No, no, shut up. Nobody in this room gives a fuck about anything you two have to say about anything. You're probably the two stupidest people I've ever met, and your voices are so painfully annoying they should be banned as war crimes under the Geneva convention. If you weren't so mind bogglingly retarded, I'd think you were government agents hired to kill us by talking us to death.

That was a good day. Of course, because of them wittering on relentlessly, everyone failed the test except for myself. (100%, actually)

Also, the usual mix of douchey chavs. One in particular has that chavvy unpleasant look about him. Like in books, when a character's described as having a trouble maker's features, I imagine that sort of thing. Only, the character is usually the protagonist, which makes it irritating. But yeah, I'm pretty sure he's in the closet and dealing with that by groping guys who are smaller than him.

Pretty disgusting excuse for a human being.

 

[Fijiman]

While a lot of my fellow students over the years were enjoyable, there were a lot of assholes as well. A large number of them were the kind of idiots who won't shut up for three minutes during class and had to constantly gossip about stuff all of the time. A few of them would even get up in the teacher's face sometimes when they were told to stop talking. I also had a few assholes who were intent on bothering me as much as possible.

 

[jackpackage200]

so one day the nurse was talking about sperm and all that's in it and a girl from the back asked: `So, is that why it tastes so bad?`
The entire room turned and looked at her. Then we had a bit of a giggle about it.

I admit, that made me LOL.

OT: I did not really have any really stupid kids in my classes. The worst I can say is in my junior english class some kid downloaded a paper on the internet and tried to pass it off as his own.

 

[AngloDoom]

Some darn silly things were said when I was taking my childcare course.

One was the lecturer asking `What do you do when a child bites you?`
Random classmate: `Bite them back!`

Genius!
I don't know about you but if I was a misbehaving child and my carer bit me I think I'd settle down a fair amount. A* for that lad/lass.

OT:

GCSE Biology, our teacher had a habit on going on tangents and was talking about how remarkable it was that the Great Barrier Reef released egg and sperm across such a wide area almost totally in-sync, and at the time scientists weren't sure how. A classmate, also prone to tangents, put her hand up and asked with a look of barely-concealed horror:

"Miss, if you go swimming in the sea around then, can you get pregnant?"

 

[Zeren]

I can't think of a dumb classmate offhand. Instead I will tell you about my high school teacher's inventive way of waking students up.

He would take a film canister that he had drilled a hole through and inserted a grill lighter in and fill it with a tiny bit of rubbing alcohol. He would sit his homemade firecracker near their head and set it off. It made a LOUD bang and never failed to wake a student. He was made to stop doing that after he accidentally set a girl's hair on fire.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

I had plenty, one though he was the absolute shit, he got a Chinese tattoo that should have said "warrior" but the guy doing it knew he was a fool and wrote "cum" or something along those lines, glad our Chinese friend pointed that out, fool fucking flipped!

On the one hand, it's pretty cruel to screw over a paying customer like that with something as permanent as a tattoo, idiot though they may be. On the other, it's one of my few pet peeves when people get Far Eastern or tribal calligraphy tattoo's when they don't even know what they mean just because they think it look "Like, sooooo badass!", so I find it hard to sympathise with him.

OT: One of my friends once asked on Armistice Day... "Do we wear poppies to commemorate 9/11?"

I feel cruel now because she's actually a really nice girl and she doesn't normally say radically stupid things. But yeah... all the facepalms.

 

[soren7550]

In my 11th grade American History class, towards the end of the year we watched the D-Day invasion part of Saving Private Ryan. Which was fine and all, except for the fact that this one absolute dumbass would not stop asking the stupidest questions. Through the whole thing! Some of her 'gems' include:
- (opening shot of the Normandy American Cemetery and Memorial) Is this Normandy? Are they invading? Why is that old guy sad? Is that Matt Damon?
- (just before the beach landing) Why are they taking boats? Why is the weather bad? Why is that guy throwing up? Is this Normandy?
- (during the beach landings) Why are they shooting? Aren't they worried about sharks? Why didn't they swim there? Why is Tom Hanks carrying that guy? Why doesn't that dead guy tell Tom Hanks that he's dead and doesn't need to be carried anymore? Is that Matt Damon? Why was that guy shot? Why isn't he moving?

And so on.

After that, the teacher said he was never going to have us watch a movie again.

 

[Nekron_X]

i remember in world history we were talking about when all of the explorers were leaving Europe trying to find different ways to create better trade routes with Asia, and got to Columbus, and the year in which he discovered the Americas in 1492.one girl interrupted the teacher and wen; "wait it was in 1892!", the teacher; "no..it was in 1492, remember the rhyme? in 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue." and she went; "oh, i thought the years started in 1800." now, this would not be that bad, but it was 10th grade in high school.we got a good laugh out of it.

here's one that backfired on myself and a friend of mine. we were talking in the early morning, and standing next to one of the soda machines in school. i don't remember which of us started it, but we got on a discussion on all the diet versions of drinks they sell. I made a sarcastic comment about how they're going to try to sell diet water next. one of our friends was walking towards when she heard that and wen; "is there really diet water?" we froze then laughed for a few minutes or so, now, she was half-asleep so she wasn't paying attention but i was still funny at the time. fast foward a few months and i'm browsing a picture site and what do i see?

http://www.lolroflmao.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/diet-water.jpg

told her and got quite another good laugh out of it.

 

[samgdawg]

Let's see.... In my 9th grade gym class two kids always mocked me and bullied me. I admit I am not great at basketball, so what do they do while I am practicing my shots? Steal the ball and play keep away of course!! Damn near every class. Same kids were in my literature and math classes of course. In my literature class I am the best reader. Not that anyone in that class CARES of course. So everyone in that class mocks me there as well. One day one of the girls decides to make a comment, everyone advises me to hit her, everytime I try to explain why not I am met with retarded gibberish. Class starts I sleep through because the retards are too slow to keep up with my reading. As we leave class one of them starts again, sick of it I smash my arm into the side of his head. Principal didn't even notify me when he went to his office. Math class I am regularly mocked by the same "keep away" idiots. Gym class at the start of the year I am hit by a tennis ball full force to the chest, from only a few feet away. Ironically I had to protect them from my friend 2 seconds after I lost my breath. While changing into gym clothes a kid comes up to me and yanks my shirt away from me, ended up punching the top of my head twice, forcing me to step on my glasses which had fallen off. Throughout the course of a few weeks one of the kids threw broken pencil shards at the back of my head, IN CLASS. I choked him in front of everyone though. SAME STUDENT gets the bright idea to taunt me in a pool, when I was on the school SWIM TEAM at one point, repeatedly threw water in my face when I asked him to stop. Choked him AGAIN, lucky for him I got pulled off by the student lifeguard. His buddy repeatedly called me gay and tried to draw cocks on my back. For whatever reason the teacher had us walk up and down stairs the whole first class. It was up stairs, right over the bleachers, down stairs, right past where we started, and repeat. The whole class moves at half walking speed. Bored, I speed past everyone 2-3 times before they complete one lap. At one point I hear one of the girls tell her friend to trip me as I pass them. I was not a popular kid, obviously. I am thanking God I am going into an online school this year.

Are you sure they weren't just monkeys instead of people? They sound like monkeys to me, and with public school being what it is nowadays, it's an easy mistake to make.

But yeah, I also had to deal with a class that was a lot slower then me. It was quite frustrating actually, because you are done with your work halfway through class and then you got nothing to do.

Please tell me it was a Rear Naked Choke or at least a Guillotine Choke. I had the same experience in elementary school and high school. Got fed up and used the BJJ self defense class i was told never to do...well i did and it worked....then i got suspended and kicked out the gym. but to put a monkey down like that....TOTALLY WORTH IT!

I actually have no idea what either of those are. I just grabbed the front of his throat and squeezed. I was really just trying to intimidate him, I'm not really a violent person normally. CAPTCHA: "walk the plank" I didn't realize they were pirates captcha.

 

[ElPatron]

"What's an anti-lope?" She heard the word antelope, but assumed some people were against "lopes".

This was from a test: "What's the most common stone in mountain X?" "Ice."
"What can it be used for?" "Skiing." Funny thing is that it was the same person from above.

I had a classmate that read stomach-ache as "Stom-ashe-ashe".

be cause i said I was interested in having a gun collection they started calling me "Armageddon" and made it sound like I was a psychopath.

You should start a killing spree with a car or a knife, just to prove a point, lol.

One was the lecturer asking `What do you do when a child bites you?`

You scream at the top of your lungs, so that his mother can hear: "YOU LITTLE FUCK, I HAVE AIDS!"

 

[Nikolaz72]

Class starts I sleep through because the retards are too slow to keep up with my reading

Gym class at the start of the year I am hit by a tennis ball full force to the chest, from only a few feet away. Ironically I had to protect them from my friend 2 seconds after I lost my breath.

I choked him in front of everyone though. SAME STUDENT gets the bright idea to taunt me in a pool, when I was on the school SWIM TEAM at one point, repeatedly threw water in my face when I asked him to stop. Choked him AGAIN,

The whole class moves at half walking speed. Bored, I speed past everyone 2-3 times before they complete one lap. At one point I hear one of the girls tell her friend to trip me as I pass them. I was not a popular kid, obviously.

I think its really clear why you are not a popular kid. You are in fact the stupid classmate that the other 99% of the class would complain about. So who is right, the 1% or the 99%?

Seems to me like always retailiated, never attacked. I heard the US is all about self-defense, hence why the principal ignored him strangling people all the time.

 

[Dangit2019]

I did end up on the butt end of some school shooting jokes when it came to light I had a shotgun, but that was all in good humor.

Hey, if you lived in Texas you'd get made fun of if you didn't have a shotgun (even if you live in the city).

 

[The Funslinger]

I did end up on the butt end of some school shooting jokes when it came to light I had a shotgun, but that was all in good humor.

Hey, if you lived in Texas you'd get made fun of if you didn't have a shotgun (even if you live in the city).

Yeah, but if I was in Texas and didn't have a shotgun, it would be because I'd have a licensed .45 on my hip! 8D

Hell yeah!