Stupid Customers

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Helmet

Could use a beer about now...
May 14, 2008
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I work at Best Buy, and have had to cover Loss Prevention many many times. For those of you who don't know, when you walk into Best Buy and see someone at a desk in the front, staring at a screen, and usually in a yellow polo shirt, this unlucky fool is the Loss Prevention guy.

Also for those of you who don't know, Best Buy matches the prices of the competitors.

About a week ago, I was covering LP when an old woman came in and grabbed the weekly sales ad. She then looked around, then asked me if we had the ad for Circuit City.

....I gave her a blank stare, then informed her that this is Best Buy, we have no reason to carry ads of other stores. She then proceeds to cuss at me. Quite loudly. Using some rather interesting phrases.

When she stopped for a breath, I interrupted her.

"Ma'am, does Circuit City carry the Best Buy ad?"

"Why would it? It's Circuit City!"


.....I hate mankind. I have many, many more stories about sheer retardation from customers. If you will now excuse me, I need a beer.
 

RebelRising

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Jan 5, 2008
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Lizatonic said:
"Are these on sale?" and there was a sign saying "50% off" right next to the product.
Reminds me of Clerks.

Sorry, folks, I don't acknowledge other people's existence enough to have come across any sort of experiences like this.
 

bikeninja

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Oct 4, 2007
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Here was another one from the Christmas the PS3 came out:

CST: Do you have any PS3 in stock?
Me: No, we don't sell video games here ma'am.
CST: Oh, well can I get my name down on one for when you get restocked?
Me: Uhm... no, we do not sell video games or video game consoles here...
CST: well when are you expecting them in? My kid needs one for Christmas! (she starts getting angry, so instead of blowing her off I go with it to see how stupid she is)
Me: We do not have video game products ma'am
CST: Why wont you help me get one of these, I want to buy a PS3 from here!
Me: We are a hobby shop, only board games, lego, miniatures and cards games are sold here, EB games across the hall sells video games, not us.
CST: What the hell is wrong with you? Where is your manager? I need to speak to him about how unhelpful you are, and how you ruined a sale!
(My manager was watching this from a few feet away)
Manager: He couldn't ruin a sale we don't have ma'am, WE DO NOT SELL PLAYSTION 3'S OR ANY VIDEO GAMES! GO TO EB GAMES ACROSS THE HALL! WE COULD NOT HELP YOU EVEN IF WE WANTED TO!

She finally got the message and left, or just got fed-up and left, we may never know...
 

Supernovajake

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Oct 18, 2008
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bikeninja said:
I worked in a hobby shop in a mall, so I have tonnes of stories about idiot kids coming in and trying to taunt us, some of my favourite quotes include:

Person:"Can I get a job here?"
Me: Do you have a resume?"
Person: "No, but I'm a level 45 mage in D&D, does that count?" (he was being sarcastic BTW)
Me: "No, but you can get the F*** out."

*Kid walks in and sees our display of warhammer*
Kid: "Oh look! its a boardgame of starcraft! Cool!"
Me: *facepalm*

One of the better stories is one of our regular comic collectors is a body builder as well, huge man! he was on his way out when some kids poked their heads in yelling "F***ing NERDS!" in which the body builder looked at them and grined: "Don't worry, I'll take care of these guys..." The kids ran.
Was this by any chance Games Workshop? Because people coming in and trying to take the piss became almost weekly routine when I used to play Wh40k.
 

hungoverbear

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Mar 8, 2008
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Alright my second story titled why you shouldnt get drunk and wear 6 inch heals. Twas opening night of the newly remodled club. It was my day off but my boss asked if i could help check ID's seeing how we were gonna be super busy, i agreed on the fact that I got to meet some "celebrities" that night. So i get to the club and start taking IDs. 4 hours into the shift my bouncers come dragging this girl out and sat her on the bench that was right next to us. She was totally hammered. She kept yelling GET ME MY JACKET! in complete drunken slander. So of course i had to watch and make sure she didnt try to get back into the club. everytime she tried to stand up though she would just fall over, due to the fact that she was wearing 6 inch heals. with those heals on she was taller than me, and im 6'2" thats goes to show how tall her heals were. Well after an hour of drunken screaming, trying to walk on her shoes/stilts and calling me every single name in the book, her friends FINALLY came walking out with her jacket. They tried to get her up but of course she just toppled over. so i finally picked her up and put her back on her feet only for her to scream DONT YOU FUCKIN TOUCH ME! i was like ok whatever. So here she was trying to walk down the alley legs going everywere when finally she fell into a little shrub on the side of the alley. She gets off the shrub, starts kicking, clawing, and punching the shrub, then she stumbles back loses balance (damn shoes) starts to fall backwards hits our line rope and somehow when she hit that she managed to turn 180 degrees in midair, and smashed her fourhead right onto the edge of a 4x4 (big block of wood) I ran over to make sure she was alright only to again here DONT FUCKIN TOUCH ME!! her friends pulled her out of the dirt. she turned to face me to revile a 2 inch gash on her forhead that was bleeding very badly. She just started laughing, too drunk to realize how badly she was bleeding. i had to call a paramedic to get her fixed up. so to any ladies that are reading this NEVER were 6 in heels when you plan on drinking.
 

Nigh Invulnerable

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Jan 5, 2009
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I worked at a grocery store for several years part time while going to college and had numerous customers approach me as I was stocking boxes of frozen goods into freezer displays and ask "Do you work here?" To which I started replying, "No, I just like to organize the frozen food departments at grocery stores."
 

ShogunGino

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Oct 27, 2008
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Ibaapzo said:
Liverandbacon said:
Ibaapzo said:
I get all the sexist customers. Gone are the days I take that bullshit. So many men come in and insist that because I have amazing boobs, I don't know anything about electronics. >.O

I go into a store, and I don't like to be bothered by employees, much like you. I find everything myself, and if I happen to have that rare question, I'll find an employee who doesn't look busy. I hate when customers insist that their problem(s) are more important that whatever manual work you're doing.
Didn't you know? Scientists have discovered a inverse relationship between boob amazingness and electronics knowledge. Therefore it's impossible that you can know anything about what you're selling.

Seriously though, that's a pain. People really do let stereotypes get in the way of common sense.
Lol, aw well. If they're ignorant or sexist enough to assume that, they're not worth my time.
This depresses me as many of the times I go into a Best Buy and have an actual question relating to electronic equipment(as opposed to browsing in the DVD section) I am normally helped by very intelligent, often quite pretty female employees, and I imagine they get a bunch of bastards like you do. Consider carrying a can of mace for anyone who comes on to you.

As for MY stupid story...well, alright, its not MY story, but...my roommate told me once how his friend used to work for McDonald's, and one time a lady came in and ordered one burger with cheese, and one without. So he got the food, one Hamburger one Cheeseburger, as ordered, and the lady came back saying they got the order wrong. He asked how, and she said the son who wanted the hamburger got the one with cheese and the one who wanted cheese didn't get cheese on his. Your move, Escapists.
 

Ibaapzo

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Dec 25, 2008
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ShogunGino said:
Ibaapzo said:
Liverandbacon said:
Ibaapzo said:
I get all the sexist customers. Gone are the days I take that bullshit. So many men come in and insist that because I have amazing boobs, I don't know anything about electronics. >.O

I go into a store, and I don't like to be bothered by employees, much like you. I find everything myself, and if I happen to have that rare question, I'll find an employee who doesn't look busy. I hate when customers insist that their problem(s) are more important that whatever manual work you're doing.
Didn't you know? Scientists have discovered a inverse relationship between boob amazingness and electronics knowledge. Therefore it's impossible that you can know anything about what you're selling.

Seriously though, that's a pain. People really do let stereotypes get in the way of common sense.
Lol, aw well. If they're ignorant or sexist enough to assume that, they're not worth my time.
This depresses me as many of the times I go into a Best Buy and have an actual question relating to electronic equipment(as opposed to browsing in the DVD section) I am normally helped by very intelligent, often quite pretty female employees, and I imagine they get a bunch of bastards like you do. Consider carrying a can of mace for anyone who comes on to you.

As for MY stupid story...well, alright, its not MY story, but...my roommate told me once how his friend used to work for McDonald's, and one time a lady came in and ordered one burger with cheese, and one without. So he got the food, one Hamburger one Cheeseburger, as ordered, and the lady came back saying they got the order wrong. He asked how, and she said the son who wanted the hamburger got the one with cheese and the one who wanted cheese didn't get cheese on his. Your move, Escapists.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no! That's... I don't have anything to take that one down. Did he bother telling her that they need to SWITCH the burgers in-hand?! Oh man... wow.
 

soulless_lover

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Jan 14, 2009
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my first job was at a Toys R Us. in the year that i worked there, i saw about ninety million personal checks, and just about every one of them had a different spelling of the store's name on the PAY TO THE ORDER OF line. you'd think TOYS R US would be pretty easy to spell, but apparently not.

some of the more memorable ones:

- Toys Are Us (understandable, if anal-retentive)
- Toys Ur Us (spelled it like they pronounced it)
- Toys And Us (bwah!)
- Toys For Us (nope, probably for the kids)
- Toys Is Us (bwahaha!)

and my personal favorite:

WE IS TOYS, written about a week before Xmas by a man with bloodshot eyes, nervous jitters, and three screaming little boys under the age of nine. bonus: he signed it on the memo line. extra bonus: when i asked him to rewrite the check (there's only so far you can fudge TOYS R US before the bank gets pissy) he wrote the name correctly - even went so far as to ask me if he had to write the R backwards like it is in the company logo - and then signed the memo line again.
 

Rednog

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Nov 3, 2008
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I was waiting to pick up my girlfriend from her shift in BestBuy and was leaning against the Customer Service counter, it was like 5 minutes before the store closed and a lady comes running in and plops her computer on the counter. She starts rambling how a bunch of things on her computer doesn't work and that it's still under warranty and that I and the other employees were incompetent because she had been back and forth with the computer 3 times. I tried to correct her that I didn't work there but she told me to shut up because she was talking and that she was the customer and I was the employee. Needless to say I dumped her computer in the trash outside the store.

A fun time when I was a shopper, I was buying a cellphone from CostCo and they have all their electronics in this huge caged in area and they give you a ticket after you pay and an employee has to give it to you. For some reason the lady hands me a Wii, I thanked her and walked away and out of the store.

As an actual employee I had a lady ask me where she could pick up World of Warcraft for her son, despite there being a giant sign behind me for the Burning Crusade and about 300 copies of it on the shelf under it. I handed her another game and told her is was the cheaper version of it.

...yes I'm a terrible person.
 

ShogunGino

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Oct 27, 2008
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Ibaapzo said:
ShogunGino said:
Ibaapzo said:
Liverandbacon said:
Ibaapzo said:
I get all the sexist customers. Gone are the days I take that bullshit. So many men come in and insist that because I have amazing boobs, I don't know anything about electronics. >.O

I go into a store, and I don't like to be bothered by employees, much like you. I find everything myself, and if I happen to have that rare question, I'll find an employee who doesn't look busy. I hate when customers insist that their problem(s) are more important that whatever manual work you're doing.
Didn't you know? Scientists have discovered a inverse relationship between boob amazingness and electronics knowledge. Therefore it's impossible that you can know anything about what you're selling.

Seriously though, that's a pain. People really do let stereotypes get in the way of common sense.
Lol, aw well. If they're ignorant or sexist enough to assume that, they're not worth my time.
This depresses me as many of the times I go into a Best Buy and have an actual question relating to electronic equipment(as opposed to browsing in the DVD section) I am normally helped by very intelligent, often quite pretty female employees, and I imagine they get a bunch of bastards like you do. Consider carrying a can of mace for anyone who comes on to you.

As for MY stupid story...well, alright, its not MY story, but...my roommate told me once how his friend used to work for McDonald's, and one time a lady came in and ordered one burger with cheese, and one without. So he got the food, one Hamburger one Cheeseburger, as ordered, and the lady came back saying they got the order wrong. He asked how, and she said the son who wanted the hamburger got the one with cheese and the one who wanted cheese didn't get cheese on his. Your move, Escapists.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no! That's... I don't have anything to take that one down. Did he bother telling her that they need to SWITCH the burgers in-hand?! Oh man... wow.
Not sure if he asked her that, but would it really make her less of an idiot if she realized that fact? And if she didn't, would it really be much of a surprise?
 

TRR

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Jul 21, 2008
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I used to work at the Save-On-Foods deli(essentially hell) and there were two cases that stand out. Sorry if these sound slightly racist.

One, the same indian woman has done this a few times. She walks to the Hot-case(deli jargon for heated glass box filled with chickens), points at what are clearly chickens and says, "Pork?" Only it doesn't sound like she's say pork, it comes out usually as "Pauk?"

An asian woman comes to the front case(deli jargon for refrigerated glass box of deli meats and evil substances) and asks for some swiss cheese, so I go get some. She asks to see a slice, looks at it for like 2 minutes, and then starts complaining that there are HOLES IN THE SWISS CHEESE. She actually thinks that she is paying for holes. Of course I try to explain to her how she's not, but she still makes me sift through the slices to find the ones with the least amount of holes. This wouldn't be a problem normally if she didn't do this EVERY WEEK!

The people I hate most of all though, are the people who either can't pronounce what they are trying to order even if their life depended on it, or the health nuts who will force you to check the ingredients list just to make sure there are no preservatives in what is barely classifiable as edible food.
 

ward.

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Aug 6, 2008
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Nially said:
(Upon seeing the multiple display TVs we show DVDs on)
CUST: "Do you sell TVs?"
ME: "Eh, no this is a toy shop"
CUST:"So why have you got them on display then!"
Protip: That's an international que for you to know that they're interested in being talked into buying a TV and if you have any sugestion based on what they need.

Rednog said:
Needless to say I dumped her computer in the trash outside the store.
Now that made me laugh.
 

Cid Silverwing

Paladin of The Light
Jul 27, 2008
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http://notalwaysright.com/

Here's one website I found that has TONS of stupid quotes etc etc etc. (No, it's not a Rickroll or anything retarded like that)
 

gamebrain89

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May 29, 2008
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I work at a Radio Shack. One of the worst possible places to work if you hate stupid questions, and stupid people. This just happened today. A guy who bought a music keyboard 3 months ago comes in, and proceeds to say that its broken, so I have to give him a refund. Ok, for one, our return policy is 30 days, not 3 months. But just to be nice, I took it out and fiddled with it to try and figure out what was wrong with it. I put batterys in it and tested every key on it 3 times each. Absolutely nothing wrong with it. He then proceeds to tap the keys with his finger nail and say " Hear that, the keys are clicking the keys are clicking, its not supposed to do that!" At this point I realized he was just on of the many A-holes we get who are trying to jive us. So I put it back in the box and told him we couldn't take it back, and explained why. He got all pissed off and stromed out, cussing the whole way. My manager was standing there the whole time, and said I handled it well, but its a pain in the ass when you get these people every other day.
 

CrafterMan

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Aug 3, 2008
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soulless_lover said:
my first job was at a Toys R Us. in the year that i worked there, i saw about ninety million personal checks, and just about every one of them had a different spelling of the store's name on the PAY TO THE ORDER OF line. you'd think TOYS R US would be pretty easy to spell, but apparently not.

some of the more memorable ones:

- Toys Are Us (understandable, if anal-retentive)
- Toys Ur Us (spelled it like they pronounced it)
- Toys And Us (bwah!)
- Toys For Us (nope, probably for the kids)
- Toys Is Us (bwahaha!)

and my personal favorite:

WE IS TOYS, written about a week before Xmas by a man with bloodshot eyes, nervous jitters, and three screaming little boys under the age of nine. bonus: he signed it on the memo line. extra bonus: when i asked him to rewrite the check (there's only so far you can fudge TOYS R US before the bank gets pissy) he wrote the name correctly - even went so far as to ask me if he had to write the R backwards like it is in the company logo - and then signed the memo line again.
I can has toys? XD fuckin terrible
 

Bourne Endeavor

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May 14, 2008
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http://actsofgord.com/

That site has a game store owner listing his accountings with stupid customers. Some of my personal favorites are...

"Microplay has this game priced at $9.95. Will you price match as yours is priced at $10?"

"Sure."
---

"I'd like to trade these games in please. What are they worth?"

"Given that they are my games that someone rented a couple days back, I'd say they are worth nothing. I'm sure the person who rented them will thank you for returning them for him."

"I bought those games! They aren't yours!"

"Sir, not only are the games still in my rental cases, but they are also labeled with security marker with my name on them."

"How about $20?"

"How about I wish you a good day?"

"Give me back my games!"

"You're not keeping up here. They aren't your games to keep."

"I'll phone the police."

"Fine. Go ahead. You can explain to them why you were trying to sell me stolen games. Last I checked, selling stolen merchandise that you know is stolen is illegal. You must be new to this crime thing."

And buddy left, never to return.
---

A few days before Christmas. Customer asks Gord to hold a used copy of Perfect Dark. The claim is that he'll be back in before Christmas to pick it up.

Christmas comes and goes. Our story continues on Boxing Day.

"Yes, I was in a few days ago. You're holding a copy of Perfect Dark for me."

"Very well then, here it is. $49 plus tax comes to $55.86."

"What about the Boxing day sale?"

"What about it?"

"It should be on sale."

"That applies to merchandise on the floor, not titles being held."

"That's false advertising."

"Just because you say it is doesn't make it so."

"Very well. I just won't buy it then. I'll just wait till you put it out, then I'll buy it."

"No, that's quite alright. I've got a waiting list for it now."

"Fine. I'll buy it."

"Buy what?"

"Perfect Dark."

"I'm sold out."

"You have one right there!"

"Yes, but you said you didn't want it. It's now on hold for someone else. See the post-it note with the name 'Dave' on it? You're not Dave."

"I'm leaving!"

"That would be the end goal of my actions. Door is to your left."
 

VoleurdeThym

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Jan 1, 2009
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Ibaapzo said:
"You're a girl, so you probably don't know the answer..."
There's that one, all the damn time.

*"Y'all got that shootin' game?"
FUCKING HELL. They could not have thought of a more generic question, aside, "Y'all got that characters havin' a conflict game?". I think the vocabulary of that question may have been beyond them, though.
*"I can't find a cartridge slot on my PS3."
This person had a PS3, and was trying to play N64 games on it. Somehow, the logic of, "it wont work, they're not compatible" was beyond him.
*"So, you like leashes too? Nipple clamps? Spankings? Gawd damn woman, there's just no pleasing you."
My boyfriend gave me a collar, because his nickname is Puppy. Kind of a sentimental thing. I wear it as I would a ring, and this one customer especially seemed to like it waaaay too much. Partially my fault but still... he had his fucking daughter with him.

There's more, but that's all I can think of at the moment. Fucking GameStop, and its absurdly stupid clientele.
 

NeoAC

Zombie Nation #LetsRise
Jun 9, 2008
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Bourne said:
http://actsofgord.com/

That site has a game store owner listing his accountings with stupid customers.
I have to thank you, as I have been meaning to go back to Gord's site as I have not been there in a while and his accounts of idiotic customers was one of the only thing I could read on dialup and that kept me laughing for hours.
 

Ibaapzo

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Dec 25, 2008
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VoleurdeThym said:
Ibaapzo said:
"You're a girl, so you probably don't know the answer..."
There's that one, all the damn time.

*"Y'all got that shootin' game?"
FUCKING HELL. They could not have thought of a more generic question, aside, "Y'all got that characters havin' a conflict game?". I think the vocabulary of that question may have been beyond them, though.
*"I can't find a cartridge slot on my PS3."
This person had a PS3, and was trying to play N64 games on it. Somehow, the logic of, "it wont work, they're not compatible" was beyond him.
*"So, you like leashes too? Nipple clamps? Spankings? Gawd damn woman, there's just no pleasing you."
My boyfriend gave me a collar, because his nickname is Puppy. Kind of a sentimental thing. I wear it as I would a ring, and this one customer especially seemed to like it waaaay too much. Partially my fault but still... he had his fucking daughter with him.

There's more, but that's all I can think of at the moment. Fucking GameStop, and its absurdly stupid clientele.
Lol! Really about the cartridge slot? I've never had that one before. I love when a customer asks about COD4, you ask what console, and they look at you dumbfounded. Some people can't comprehend that the system they bought isn't the only system ever made. >.O