Stupid Final Fantasy weapons

[kermitthefirst]

dog on a crossbow... attached to the arm.

 

[LostTimeLady]

I agree with UncleUlty that the bell weapons for the geomancers in FFIII DS are pretty daft. I didn't mind the likes of Wakka's ball etc in FFX 'cos the weapons fit the charecters (although Yuna's starting staff... seriously, why does it look like an old fasioned carpet beater?)

Actually the most stupid FF weapons that I've personally come across is the claws in FFIII DS for the monks. After a certain point bare fists do better damage without a weapon than with. Now that IS stupid.

 

[Axeli]

Nanaki's Hairpin

HOW THE HELL DO YOU ATTACK WITH A HAIRPIN?!?!?!

Moshing.

 

[Axeli]

In the games, they can be whatever they want to be.

HOWEVER

In Advent Children, am I the only one who noticed that almost none of their weapons seemed like it even phased Bahamut SIN? I mean, Cid's impalement on it's head looked like it hurt, but everyone else before Cloud comes in(ESPECIALLY Vincent and Yuffie) looked like they were sucking major ass.

I don't count Red XIII and Cait Sith as they didn't really do anythign except show up.

And Tifa just seemed to look on until the threw Cloud into the air...

No wonder Cloud ditched after FFVII, his friends are useless! XD

They actually fixed that in Complete. Bahamut looks like he's taken a beating when Cloud shows up.

 

[blankedboy]

that moogle lulu uses in ffX.

Agreed.

 

[hotdogoctopus]

Not only should this be a poll, the only options should be 'cait sith's anything' or 'angelo in ff8'.

 

[Axeli]

Call me crazy if you want to. But I thought Squall's gunblade was pretty kick ass. But there are a lot of nonsense weapons in FF. Like paintbrushes, harps and bells. I think that problem seems to be in decline lately. If you don't count FFX-2 that is, where weird weapons were in no short supply. (Microphones and playing cards?)

Playing cards and slot reels are a nuke waiting to happen, I tell you.

And as I said somewhere above, gunblades are totally awesome.

 

[Axeli]

Call me crazy if you want to. But I thought Squall's gunblade was pretty kick ass. But there are a lot of nonsense weapons in FF. Like paintbrushes, harps and bells. I think that problem seems to be in decline lately. If you don't count FFX-2 that is, where weird weapons were in no short supply. (Microphones and playing cards?)

Playing cards and slot reels are a nuke waiting to happen, I tell you.

And as I said somewhere above, gunblades are totally awesome.

Never actually meant to say they were bad. Lady Luck was definitely one of the better dress spheres in that game. Yuna as Alchemist, Rikku as Lady Luck, Paine as Dark Knight. Pretty solid setup that can handle almost anything.

I didn't mean to imply so, just point out that in FF universe there's pretty damn good reasons to ban gambling. =)

 

[Amnestic]

The buster sword and Sephiroth's 10 foot katana.
Pretty much any weapon in FF7 besides Cid's spear and Tifa's fists.
Keyblades take the cake though.

What was wrong with Vincent's gun?

More generally: Did Cait Sith actually ever attack with his Megaphone? Since the one wielding the megaphone (and the actual Cait Sith) was the little kitty perched on the fat stuffed animal's head, and the fat stuffed animal generally did all the attacking as memory serves, the megaphone was more of a magical boost than an actual weapon.

Ditto for Nanaki's hairclip.

 

[Bob_F_It]

I think Shiki using a stuffed toy in TWEWY is quite a wolf in sheep's clothing. Neku put the point across quite well:

"Couldn't you pick something more powerful? Like a knife, or a...a lead pipe or something?"

Similar to Lulu's dolls, but a tad more violent.

 

[Axeli]

The buster sword and Sephiroth's 10 foot katana.
Pretty much any weapon in FF7 besides Cid's spear and Tifa's fists.
Keyblades take the cake though.

What was wrong with Vincent's gun?

More generally: Did Cait Sith actually ever attack with his Megaphone? Since the one wielding the megaphone (and the actual Cait Sith) was the little kitty perched on the fat stuffed animal's head, and the fat stuffed animal generally did all the attacking as memory serves, the megaphone was more of a magical boost than an actual weapon.

Ditto for Nanaki's hairclip.

Yeah, he used it to command the stuffed moogle.

 

[Sam G]

Sticking with the subject of FF3, the primary weapon for the Scholar job class was a book. A book, for chrissakes. And it wasn't even particlularly weak physically, and excluseively magic-augumentative either. A Scholar dual-wielding books could deal a good 600 damage in one turn against a regular enemy.
Graaah, BOOKS!

 

[Space Spoons]

Any of Edward's weapons. That guy was such a wimp. For the longest time, I would just kill him immediately after gaining him as a party member so the EXP wouldn't have to be split more than twice. Cecil and Rydia were tough enough to stand on their own by that point anyway.

Also, axes. Statistically, they tend to be stronger than most swords (at least, until you start getting up into the legendary weapon tiers), but the problem is that they rarely actually deal the damage that their stats would have you believe them to be capable of, because they're so ridiculously inaccurate! Like, if you buy a Mythril Sword, it could deal anywhere between 20 and 25 damage. Nothing solid, but not too much of a gap, right? A Mythril Axe could deal between 15 and 45, and that's if it doesn't miss. That's messed up.

 

[Tiberius87]

Lulu's doll from FFX.

 

[Axeli]

Sticking with the subject of FF3, the primary weapon for the Scholar job class was a book. A book, for chrissakes. And it wasn't even particlularly weak physically, and excluseively magic-augumentative either. A Scholar dual-wielding books could deal a good 600 damage in one turn against a regular enemy.
Graaah, BOOKS!

You actually reminded me of Shadow Hearts again or more specificly of a character who uses a Bible as a weapon. She beats the enemies with her Bible.

 

[Cosmic Humor]

As dumb as the ball is, it makes conceptual sense, unlike the fucking gunblade.

Seriously, look at the damn thing. Why the hell does it have a pistol grip? What is the barrel for? It doesn't shoot anything!

 

[lenneth]

Keyblades. I mean come on...really? Atleast the gunblades are sharp looking and can shoot bullets.

Keyblades are more Kingdom Hearts seein as Sora is preety much the only one who uses one

And no, the Gunblade does not function as an actual Gun

Call me crazy if you want to. But I thought Squall's gunblade was pretty kick ass. But there are a lot of nonsense weapons in FF. Like paintbrushes, harps and bells. I think that problem seems to be in decline lately. If you don't count FFX-2 that is, where weird weapons were in no short supply. (Microphones and playing cards?)

Playing cards and slot reels are a nuke waiting to happen, I tell you.

And as I said somewhere above, gunblades are totally awesome.

Setzer in FF6 Uses Cards(Darts as well depending on your gear) and Slot Reels and he is far short of a nuke

Sticking with the subject of FF3, the primary weapon for the Scholar job class was a book. A book, for chrissakes. And it wasn't even particlularly weak physically, and excluseively magic-augumentative either. A Scholar dual-wielding books could deal a good 600 damage in one turn against a regular enemy.
Graaah, BOOKS!

...Knowledge is Power?

You actually reminded me of Shadow Hearts again or more specificly of a character who uses a Bible as a weapon. She beats the enemies with her Bible.

BIBLE FIGHT!!!

Everyone seems to pick FFX because of Lulu's dolls or Wakka's Ball(which gets a ring of blades around it for his ultimate weapon) but are we forgetting Tidus's Brotherhood Sword? Its a blade made out of WATER, and not even frozen. How the hell is it staying in place?