Stupid Final Fantasy weapons

[Kenjitsuka]

Squall's gunblade sucks.

And who in their right mind mentions "Sepiroth's katana" here?
It's not a "katana", it's a two handed warsword called a Nodachi.
These are well over 5 feet in lenght, and European real life battle swords even went above 2 meters long (6 feet 4 inches).

And hey, guess what, if real world tiny medival people (knights ranged from 4 to 5.5 feet mostly) could wield such swords, superpowered half alien half special bred soldier boy Sephiroth can handle a much longer one with ease.
AND IT LOOKS AWESOME!

 

[Axeli]

Call me crazy if you want to. But I thought Squall's gunblade was pretty kick ass. But there are a lot of nonsense weapons in FF. Like paintbrushes, harps and bells. I think that problem seems to be in decline lately. If you don't count FFX-2 that is, where weird weapons were in no short supply. (Microphones and playing cards?)

Playing cards and slot reels are a nuke waiting to happen, I tell you.

And as I said somewhere above, gunblades are totally awesome.

Setzer in FF6 Uses Cards(Darts as well depending on your gear) and Slot Reels and he is far short of a nuke

I wasn't talking about Setzer. The series' most pwerful attacks can be done with slot reels. I don't actually remember if there's similar attack with cards in some of the games, like X-2 perhaps.

Everyone seems to pick FFX because of Lulu's dolls or Wakka's Ball(which gets a ring of blades around it for his ultimate weapon) but are we forgetting Tidus's Brotherhood Sword? Its a blade made out of WATER, and not even frozen. How the hell is it staying in place?

It stays in place by awesome. Be very afraid.

 

[Carbonhunter]

Sticking with the subject of FF3, the primary weapon for the Scholar job class was a book. A book, for chrissakes. And it wasn't even particlularly weak physically, and excluseively magic-augumentative either. A Scholar dual-wielding books could deal a good 600 damage in one turn against a regular enemy.
Graaah, BOOKS!

Not really surprised, I've got books that'd hurt if I threw them at somebody lol

 

[Axeli]

Squall's gunblade sucks.

And who in their right mind mentions "Sepiroth's katana" here?
It's not a "katana", it's a two handed warsword called a Nodachi.
These are well over 5 feet in lenght, and European real life battle swords even went above 2 meters long (6 feet 4 inches).

And hey, guess what, if real world tiny medival people (knights ranged from 4 to 5.5 feet mostly) could wield such swords, superpowered half alien half special bred soldier boy Sephiroth can handle a much longer one with ease.
AND IT LOOKS AWESOME!

I don't think nodachi are as long as Sephiroth sword, though do you bring up a fair point that it's not impossible to wield a sword that long. It'd still need probably a long handle to be in balance and would be stupid choice of weapon for someone who often fights indoors... You know, if Sephiroth didn't have super strength and walls weren't like butter to his slashes.

Gunblade however remains awesome.

Nanaki's Hairpin

HOW THE HELL DO YOU ATTACK WITH A HAIRPIN?!?!?!

seconded

Soooo.... No one is taking the moshing suggestion seriously?

 

[Kenjitsuka]

Nanaki's Hairpin

HOW THE HELL DO YOU ATTACK WITH A HAIRPIN?!?!?!

Kansashi - The Deadly Hairpin of the Samurai.
You jam in someone's throat or eyes... easy kill, even if you're not strong.
Just be fast and sneaky!

http://www.samuraiweapons.org/Kansashi_Samurai.php

 

[Kenjitsuka]

You know, if Sephiroth didn't have super strength and walls weren't like butter to his slashes.

True, true!
But just watch FF VII:Advent Children again (or just the cutscenes from FF 7) and luckily he can pull it off!

His best attack is probably "Unpaid overtime!"
=> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sqEzHZhDSU

 

[Verrenxnon]

Final Fantasy had an abundance of these things.

Eiko use flutes to vanquish opponents; Dagger could use raquets that fired balls of some amorphous wind-like energy; and some weapons healed whomever they hit. Blah.

As its name alone tells me I'll be playing a fantasy game, I never have trouble suspending my disbelief in oversized weapons, but weaponizing random harmless items doesn't take me, the audience, seriously.

 

[Jaranja]

Nanaki's Hairpin

HOW THE HELL DO YOU ATTACK WITH A HAIRPIN?!?!?!

You go around it too fast.

 

[Bloody Crimson]

Hm...Cecil's Sword. Sooooo cliche.

And I do like the keyblade, but I do have to fully agree it's....weird...

 

[Axeli]

Hm...Cecil's Sword. Sooooo cliche.

And I do like the keyblade, but I do have to fully agree it's....weird...

You have to admit that any weapon that can slice through 10 storey buildings can't be that lame no matter if it looks silly... Or actually doesn't have an edge.

 

[Amnestic]

Hm...Cecil's Sword. Sooooo cliche.

And I do like the keyblade, but I do have to fully agree it's....weird...

You have to admit that any weapon that can slice through 10 storey buildings can't be that lame no matter if it looks silly... Or actually doesn't have an edge.

Magic!

Keyblades. I mean come on...really? Atleast the gunblades are sharp looking and can shoot bullets.

Keyblades are more Kingdom Hearts seein as Sora is preety much the only one who uses one

Spoiler: KH Spoilers

Sora, Riku, Kairi, King Mickey, Roxas, Xion, plus the three folks from Birth of(from?) Sleep off the top of my head. There might be more I'm forgetting as well. That's nine Keyblade wielders so far.

 

[historybuff]

Rinoa's stupid dog.

Squall's stupid gunsword.

Or maybe I just hate Final Fantasy VIII.

 

[Chancie]

I don't really hate any of them but some are quite strange. I'll admit that Wakka's blitzball and Lulu's Moogle are strange. And so are Rinoa's limit breaks, even if I do like her dog. But shooting your dog at your enemies is...odd. Though, the when she hops on and rides him like he's a sled is kind of strange.

But honestly, I dislike the characters that fight with only their fists, like Tifa and Zell. I know 98% of FF weapons are impracticable...but that one really is. Let's just punch a giant metal spider that's 10 times bigger than us...with our bare fists. And it ACTUALLY causes damage. I dunno. That just bugs me.

 

[Yegargeburble]

I don't really hate any of them but some are quite strange. I'll admit that Wakka's blitzball and Lulu's Moogle are strange. And so are Rinoa's limit breaks, even if I do like her dog. But shooting your dog at your enemies is...odd. Though, the when she hops on and rides him like he's a sled is kind of strange.

But honestly, I dislike the characters that fight with only their fists, like Tifa and Zell. I know 98% of FF weapons are impracticable...but that one really is. Let's just punch a giant metal spider that's 10 times bigger than us...with our bare fists. And it ACTUALLY causes damage. I dunno. That just bugs me.

The monsters don't actually take damage from their fists. They actually laugh so much at the idiots flailing their arms about that they literally die of laughter.

 

[Lullabye]

eh, um......ah....ill proly be shot for this but.......Vincent's gun "death penalty" or whatever its called.*one hand backspring flip dodges a bullet* wait, wait! hear me out! the weapon itself isn't stupid in any way, its just....HE TURNS INTO DEATH! I just dont understand why he even uses a weapon at all.(do not throw DoC at me, it was a terrible game that only serves to enforce my point). In fact, all the big one handed guns were pretty useless. I gets pretty bad when im favoring yuffie over vince ya know.

As for the really terrible weapons...kitchen knife. a kitchen knife should NOT KILL MY ENTIRE PARTY!....fucking tonberries...other than that, pretty much whats everyone else has said.

 

[NeutralDrow]

On-topic: I don't think any of them are stupid. Even the stupid weapons are farking awesome.

I mean, Setzer kills people with playing cards.

The ball Wakka uses in FFX. It's just...not right. HOW DO YOU KILL AN ENEMY WITH A BALL?

The thing moves smoothly through water, so it probably masses a lot.

In other words, if you throw a bowling ball at someone, they will probably die.

 

[Bloody Crimson]

Hm...Cecil's Sword. Sooooo cliche.

And I do like the keyblade, but I do have to fully agree it's....weird...

You have to admit that any weapon that can slice through 10 storey buildings can't be that lame no matter if it looks silly... Or actually doesn't have an edge.

Yes, I do have to admit that it can be badass at times, most of the time it's either dorky or just a little strange. I still want one! ^^

 

[SUPA FRANKY]

Sticking with the subject of FF3, the primary weapon for the Scholar job class was a book. A book, for chrissakes. And it wasn't even particlularly weak physically, and excluseively magic-augumentative either. A Scholar dual-wielding books could deal a good 600 damage in one turn against a regular enemy.
Graaah, BOOKS!

You actually reminded me of Shadow Hearts again or more specificly of a character who uses a Bible as a weapon. She beats the enemies with her Bible.

In Shadow Hearts 3, there's a cat ( Not some slang, a REAL FELINE)that defeats its enemies by getting drunk and beating the shit out of them. yea, I think they were REALLY high when they made that game.