Stupidest thing you've said?

[Haunted Serenity]

"hes on the otherside of the door. are you with me?" this was in paintball and when i charged into the other room their team was their and my team locked the door behind me...

"anything but a 1" also

 

[dsau]

i may be the winner here....

i was talking to a girl i kinda liked, and we discussed our sleeping disorders, and the topic came up.

i cant believe im doing this and telling you all about it word for word but whatever, here it goes.

girl:i think i found a cure to my sleep problems
me: o really? what is it?
girl: a nightcap
me: whoa, your hair bothered you that much?

FML. Epic Fail. and even worse, ALL my friends heard about that one....

Dude, that's actually pretty hilarious. You should have ran with it and asked her what kind of material it's made out of. She probably would have thought it was cute... so could have used that to your advantage. I;m actually going to remember that and use it if the chance ever comes up.

haha yeah but she is a *****, and a smart ***** so she would have just called me even more retarded(not a normal girl at all). i thought about doing that but decided i would just minimize my losses. o well i dont care. it was a waste of time anyway haha

 

[palles3]

Now i have only ever said this when drunk but, i was out with some mates and we went to this bar and got talking to a group of girls, one of which i liked the look of. Any way my mate sees me talking to her and told me to stop flirting with her and i told him that i wasn't. He then said "of coarse you are " to which i replied "If i was flirting i would have pulled by now" to which she stumped off but not before smacking me across the face.

 

[General Ken8]

Today, I Realized that "disc" is spelled with a c, not a k.

. . . I just learned something
But for me it had to be when i called my sister a b*sturd when i didn't even know if it was a swear word or not, and i was like eight

 

[Aerodyamic]

This one requires a little background, but it's either stupid or bloody brilliant.

I was out with a buddy at a peeler joint for the first time in a couple months, and the strip club had started letting 'freelance girls' sell lap-dances, where before, only the strippers had been permitted to. Naturally, the freelance girls have already heard from a couple dancers that my friend is an easy mark, so a couple pretty young things are asking to join us within 10 minutes of us sitting down. Needless to say, my bud was shelling out for a pair of drinks within a minute.

Admittedly, for a pair of OBVIOUSLY inexperienced girls (I'd have set their ages at no more than 20, myself), they were relatively subtle about leading the conversation to the inevitable question: "Would either of you be interested in a private dance?" Being the somewhat stunned twat that I am, I looked at the poor girl that asked me and calmly told her I wasn't paying for what I could have for free. Fortunately, I'd been shopping for clothes earlier in the day, and had an extra shirt in the car, or I'd have spent the night in a gin-soaked shirt... my cheek was red for hours, though.

 

[PartyMonkey]

I once said that I had no nipples...Not really stupid but I have had to back it up for years!

 

[Thunderclaw]

Now, I don't remember this, but apparantly at 4 years old I asked

"Mommy, why do women have humps like camels?"

 

[Mr. Chatterbox]

I may not have said this, but on a computer quiz i wrote "ctrl+alt+bingo" as an answer (instead of ctrl+alt+delete.). it was an early morning i swear.