Stupidist things youve heard people say

[mitchell271]

Five years ago, in my Gr. 9 English class, we were doing Greek mythology. Yes, I'm serious. It's part of the school board's curriculum.
Anyways, we came to the God of war. As anyone with half a brain can tell you, it's Aries. Some moron put his hand in the air, waving it furiously like he wanted to show off his supreme incredible vast non-existent intellect and when the teacher called on him, he proudly proclaimed that the answer was "Kratos". Then people laughed at him and he looked really embarassed.

 

[Hawk eye1466]

Mine isn't strictly a one sentence statement as a conversation that made no sense.

I'm sitting at a desk in my schools computer lab and the teacher who's a prick is sitting at his desk in the corner of the room, now the computer is a mac with no tower so everythings inside the monitor itself.

Can I see what you've done on the computer?

Yeah here. I turn the screen because it's a desktop he's sitting at his desk and hasn't gotten up and I can't move it because of the whole plugged in thing.

I can't see it.

I turn the brightness all the way up and tilt the screen.

He continues to stare at me so I ask him if he wants me to take the monitor and bring it to him.

After class he tells me he won't put up with me disturbing the rest of the class that has 3 other people in it.

 

[gideonkain]

I remember when I was in 5th grade we we're discussing colors and the light spectrum and a student asked "What about in the 1950s when everything was black & white?"

He actually thought that people WERE seen in grayscale in reality. The teacher had to gently explain that it was prior to the widespread usage of color film and not the way the world actually looked as the rest of the class snickered amongst themselves.

 

[maninahat]

One man once asked me: "How long does it take to upload a video on Youtube?"
Me: "This is the most stupid thing I've ever read."
He: "Why?"
Me: "This is the second most stupid thing I've ever read."

That seems like a fair enough question to me. Not everyone is tech savvy. Certainly the average layman probably doesn't know the ins and outs of how the Internet works.

I still don't get it - how long does a video take to upload onto youtube?

Not sure if serious. In the event you are serious, anywhere from 10 minutes to a couple of hours depending on the size of the video file and your Internet connection.

Is it a silly question? I mean, I can figure out for myself that bigger files obviously take longer, but I only wanted to know how much longer. If you don't happen to know what the upload rate of something is, or how long youtube takes to process an upload, then for all the layman knows, a thirty second video could take six hours.

That is kinda what I said. It's not a silly question.

Ah okay. I guess it's like someone asking "how fast do cars go?" Though the answer is "depends on the car", a helpful answer is more like "well some race cars can go up to 250 mph, but many road cars can't get much beyond 100".

 

[the doom cannon]

So what I would like to know, all you non-Americans, is why you can't seem to understand that our sales tax system is just DIFFERENT. You realize how big America is right? You realize the huge disparity in cost of living right? You realize that not every city has the same public works projects right? The sales taxes are applied by county because every county has very different expenditures. Here's an example for my home state of California. Sales taxes range from 7.5% to 10%
http://www.boe.ca.gov/sutax/pam71.htm
http://www.boe.ca.gov/pdf/pub71.pdf
http://www.boe.ca.gov/cgi-bin/rates.cgi
It would not be very economic for large retail companies to hire people just to calculate sales tax for each store location, especially when these retailers usually have several stores within a single county. And on top of that, if you live somewhere for any amount of time, you will inevitably know by heart how much sales tax is for where you live. It may not be what non Americans are used to, but this is our system, and it works a lot better than taxing the same across the board. So yea, if you go to another country and expect things to be exactly the same, then you are definitely going to be in for a surprise.

 

[Pink Gregory]

Couple of years ago I was in the local supermarket with my 3yo daughter. We were at the deli and I had just finished explaining to my youngun to be careful of the glass where the roast chickens etc are, as it is very hot. Anyhoo, a little old lady with little old lady wrinkley legs and soforth is standing beside us. My little girl, bless her soul, walks up to the senior citizen, gently grabs her by the hand, and, full of concern, says "Excuse me lady, you might want to step back from the glass. I think your legs are melting." Thankfully, the sweet old thing got as much of a giggle from this as i did.

This is the thread for stupid things you've heard, not for the most brilliant!

 

[Pink Gregory]

News show about one of the 6 gazillion Egyptian Riots:

"I was standing at the gates of _______ and I found... sorry for the choice of words here... 300 pounds in someone's butt"

Seriously. It happened.

"Absurdist art installations rife across North Africa as unrest deepens."

 

[Subscriptism]

The first one that came to mind is more opinionated, I personally think it is stupid but it is technically an opinion.

Someone in my family believes that Obama is a Kenyan Muslim extremist who supports the Taliban and has a secret agenda to make the United States a completely socialist nation due to his jihadist beliefs.

I understand how some people may agree with parts of that statement, but to believe all that is pretty stupid.

To believe any of that is massively stupid. Have you considered telling that person the difference between socialism and jihad?

 

[Yopaz]

"What weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?"
The answer is both weigh the same, but it you answer quickly, you will instinctively say bricks right? Well a friend answered with feathers, we asked him why and he said "well, feather weigh a lot when they are together" What?

You too, eh? My teacher asked the class about this one in fifth grade. I think 5 of them replied feathers (my class had 8 people so that's more than half). They even considered me stupid for saying they were just as heavy (I had heard it before).

 

[flyingwithsharks]

"What weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?"
The answer is both weigh the same, but it you answer quickly, you will instinctively say bricks right? Well a friend answered with feathers, we asked him why and he said "well, feather weigh a lot when they are together" What?

You too, eh? My teacher asked the class about this one in fifth grade. I think 4 of them replied feathers (my class had 8 people so that's more than half). They even considered me stupid for saying they were just as heavy (I had heard it before).

... You sure about that?

 

[recurve6]

The most inane, stupid thing my friend has ever said to me is:

"Hey, let's play Fire Emblem Thracia 776."

Fuck him.

 

[Yopaz]

"What weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?"
The answer is both weigh the same, but it you answer quickly, you will instinctively say bricks right? Well a friend answered with feathers, we asked him why and he said "well, feather weigh a lot when they are together" What?

You too, eh? My teacher asked the class about this one in fifth grade. I think 4 of them replied feathers (my class had 8 people so that's more than half). They even considered me stupid for saying they were just as heavy (I had heard it before).

... You sure about that?

Wow, that typo made my post among the more stupid ones in this thread. It was supposed to be 5. Well, I feel stupid.

 

[Lt._nefarious]

"Y'know those oily thing you can get on a pizza? Er... Anchovies. Did you know they're fish!?"

That... Came from a pretty smart gal...

Honestly, I have so many really dumb things said to me on a day to day basis it's hard to keep up...

 

[BleedingPride]

"Help! How do I know I'm the mother of my child?! What if my husband cheated on me and I had her kid?"

I don't know whether she was trolling or if she should remove herself from the gene pool.

 

[Agayek]

There are a number of people out there who firmly believe that the human eye cannot tell the difference between 30 fps, 60 fps or 120 fps (fps = frames per second or framerate) when it comes to watching videos or even playing videogames.

So I'll still keep this "30 fps myth" at the back of my mind as one of the stupidest things people can say, and one of the stupidest arguments one can make. Having used a 120hz monitor over the past year, the difference is so mind-blowingly obvious it's not even funny

To be fair, most people have to be actively looking to consciously notice a difference between those.

It's certainly there, but it's relatively subtle, and if you're not actively looking, it's very easy to think it appears the same.

 

[funkyjiveturkey]

a couple days ago i was sitting in my garage with my brother. eventually something in conversation that neither of us knew, requiring one of us to look it up on our smartphones.

as soon as i say we should look it up he says "that's what are for". i couldn't help but pause and look at him like he was retarded "no, that is not what they were made for. i highly doubt Alexander Grahambell designed the telephone with application of posting on twitter!". really shows how technological advance really changes how we think of things

 

[Erttheking]

One kid in a class talked about how he believed that the government caused 9/11, and how the government might be putting population control drugs in the water. I pretty much wanted to claw my ears out every time he opened his fucking mouth. FYI, this was a college class.

 

[Zipa]

I will just leave this here... seriously what a thicko.

 

[braincore02]

"Get off the escapist and get back to work!" -- my boss. Ridiculous, right?

 

[exp. 99]

"I speak Braille!"

I could not stop laughing. It was just too much.