Suicide really becoming the best possible option.

[SpectacularWebHead]

No, I am not going to say I'll kill myself after this I post this thread. Just getting that out there first of all. I'm saying that I am seriously contemplating suicide as a the most viable option to solve my problems.

I am failing at school. I have horrific social skills. My life will never be the way I want it to be, and quite frankly, if past experiences are anything to go by, it's only going to get worse. I feel bored with life, stuck in the knowledge that I will never do anything amazing, I will never be remembered as more than a statistic, and I will never live up to my aspirations.

I am essentially the quintessential awkward nerdy teenager. I get picked on, ignored, insulted and generally my life sucks. However, unlike most nerdy teens, I have no field I greatly excel in. I'm an okay artist, but the chances of me ever gaining a career from it are astronomical. My life is, as a whole, stagnant in a bad place. I have very few real friends, all of whom I never see for many reasons. The entire world seems heartless and cruel, with very few people in it not intent on ruining life for the rest of us. I have thought of many routes to solve my problems, most involving waiting with hope in a world of hopeless-ness. Suicide has become the most logical solution, and I can't think of many reasons not to. I want to know what the opinion of the majority is so I can base my opinion on consensus. Thoughts?

 

[Draxz]

I've been in your situation myself... And I don't think killing yourself will help anyone. Or you'll do is end the small time you've had on this planet. I do understand and accept that things can be tough and there's little way out of situations and places. But I think what you have to do is take a grasp at something in reality and use that to your advantage.

The one option I'm going to recommend is have a change. Start over new. Go to a new College or Highschool and start off fresh and make new friends. Believe me, it probably seems pretty hopeless and like there's probably not anyone who's understanding or willing to accept you. But when you're around people who want to learn/ excel in life and are doing the same course as you, you pick up on common ground and find things in-common with the people you work with.

"There's not Rainbow without the Rain." Think about that. May be now things seem pretty dull and hopeless but everything has to end, and ending your life shouldn't be on that list.

 

[thatonedude11]

First off, things will get better. Assuming you're in high school, well high school ends. High school is a short, hellish time, but once it's over, what happened doesn't matter at all.

Next, talk to someone. Parents, siblings, school counselors, anyone. Keeping this bottled up isn't going to help. If you're really desperate, you could check yourself into the psych ward at the local hospital. It's not fun there, but the people there know what you're going through, and can help you.

As for the lack of academic skill, ask for help. Ask teachers, siblings parents, or friends for some help. But in the end, you can succeed even without academic smarts. There are plenty of things you can do with your life that don't require a good education, maybe some trade school at the most. There's no shame in becoming a plumber instead of an Astrophysicist. Poor grades are not the end of the world.

In conclusion, you won't feel this way for the rest of your life. It ends. It will get better. And there are people out there who know what you're going through.

 

[senordesol]

Get help.

Seriously dude, I know that's a go-to line but you need to talk to a counselor.

Look, I don't know what your relationship is with the people around you, but you've said nothing in your post that warrants putting anyone close to you through that kind of pain.

You're a teenager. That...that's just the beginning. You have NO IDEA where your life could go, my first three years out of college were filled with twists and turns; some exciting, some damaging, but I'm richer for the experiences.

Don't be so quick to defeat yourself in thinking you can't do what you want to do; ask yourself how you can get better. If you can't forge a career immediately (as I wasn't able to forge my career immediately) do something on the side for a while until you get stronger.

This is not to say 'hang on until it gets better' - NO! You've got to go out there and make it better. That doesn't mean you can do it immediately or on your own. It sounds like you've got classic depression and you NEED to talk to a professional about it, or at least SOMEONE close to you before you make any decision that will permanently derail any chance you had to make an impact on this world.

The 'consensus' on the Escapist does not mean SHIT for you. Don't you dare leave your fate up to fucking consensus. That said, I have only this to say: NOTHING you said is worth killing yourself over. NOTHING. Everything you complained about are either transient or incidental and ultimately inconsequential. Ending your life IS, however, consequential -despite who you think will or will not miss you.

Don't do it.

 

[Euryalus]

I just spent two years wrestling with the same thing. I nearly did kill myself at least 4 different times. I have social anxiety disorder so I'm never comfortable around others (to put it mildly), School is massively stressful, I didn't and still don't know how in the hell I'm going to make a living, I've never dated and don't even know how to begin, and until recently banging my head against a wall over and over until I just bled out and died seemed like a preferable alternative to living one more second. I know what feeling squashed between a Rock and a hard place feels like and all I can say is DON'T DO IT AT AT FUCKING ALL. Things do get better and more importantly you getter better at dealing with it if you try your best. Get help immediately. Do what senordesol says and see a counselor. I don't know if your religious or not but this quote helped me a lot during hard times.

"God leads you through, not around, the valley of the shadow of Death."


You're not just a statistic, you are a person and that already means your worth more than any other thing you could possibly think of.

 

[hazabaza1]

You're, what... 16?
You gotta whole lot of time to make up for a shit teenage life. Go talk to someone if you want to, go have fun, but if you do kill yourself now I'm going to feel no pity for you because you'll have wasted so much great time left to live.

 

[Doclector]

I'm not going to tell you to go to councelling, because I've got my own reasons not to. I can't help much because I'm honestly not doing that well myself. I ain't gonna kill myself, not even thinking about it, but at the moment, I'm finding myself besieged by things to worry about and to be frank, I'm not sure how much longer I can cope, or even what I'd do if I couldn't cope anymore. I'd simply go mad, knowing me.

I'll tell you this, though. You make a lot of people laugh. I've seen you around here making funny, interesting threads and comments, and sure, that seems pathetic at first. You're popular on a forum, so what?

Thing is, this is a troubled world in shitty times, and time and time again, you've been a little bit of good in a pile of shit for some people. People have come home from the job that they hate but fear losing, seen something funny you've written, and been given a little bit of evidence that the world isn't all bad. So you're not useless, far from it.

 

[Dragonclaw]

Take it from a fellow introverted nerd who shared many of the same interests you have...and now own the comic store (so not much of the nerdiness has changed ) High school was brutal, by all accounts it still is...but high school doesn't last forever. Those jackasses are long gone from my life. I have 2 friends I've known since high school...and one of THOSE was an ass back then...it wasn't until he bacame a comic collector as an adult that we burried the hatchet and have been best friends for several years now.

If you were in the SF area I'd invite you to hang out in the store (lots of other like minded guys and girls do...and it's always socially awkward until people have seen each other looking at the same books for a few weeks)

I never expected to make a huge mark on the world, but I totally enjoy what I do. I'm a bartender for geeks. In the grand scheme of things it's much more important to find a place in life that helps you be happy rather than worrying about the mark you leave. The BEST mark you could ever leave is that of a life well lived.

 

[Savo]

High school isn't the easiest time in your life. It wasn't that long ago that I was going through some of the stuff you mentioned. I still have poor and awkward social skills and don't know what I'm going to do with my life. I've gotten to where I can deal with it better, but I can't lie that it isn't rough sometimes.

Just think of it like this, you're what, 16, 17? The average lifespan is 70-80 years, you've lived less than 1/4 of your life probably. Life does change, you learn to drive, you go to college, you get your first job, who's to say that possibilities can't open up in front of you somewhere down the road?

There are good people in the world, you just have to find them. There's a lot of horrible things and people out there, you just kinda gotta learn to filter them out and not let it get to you if that makes any sense.

I would strongly advise you not to ever consider suicide as a viable option. We get one chance at this life. No one can say for sure if something comes after this life, but why not see it through? What if it really would have gotten better if you had seen it through to the end? That's my personal philosophy on suicide.

Hang in there, if you ever want to talk, I'd be happy to listen.

 

[SonicWaffle]

I am failing at school. I have horrific social skills. My life will never be the way I want it to be, and quite frankly, if past experiences are anything to go by, it's only going to get worse.

Things are always getting worse until they start getting better. Nobody's life is ever the way they want it to be, but that doesn't mean they can't enjoy it. Social skills aren't the be-all end-all, alcohol will help overcome a lot of that; it worked for me.

 

[SpectacularWebHead]

I think at this point I should elaborate a little: I come from an area which isn't exactly...Friendly, toward "alternative thinkers" or even just thinkers, really. I see the only person I would really consider a friend maybe once or twice a year. My life has always been solitary and unbearable, and I've always been criticised and bullied for being different, but too stubborn to change into what they wanted me to be, which was them.
I don't regret this, because I like who I am, but faced with the fact that nearly everyone I have ever met has either imediatly hated me or slowly grown to hate me, I've come to realise that no matter what I do, people will always grow apart from me. I'm fairly sure I've only remained friends with the one other person because of the distance.
I have always felt horrible, most of my life, and being a teenager is the first step where I am old enough to understand A) what suicide is and B) why it might be an option.
Faced with the prospect of leaving home and getting Job, I have seen people far smarter and richer than me live unemployed for years before settling into a mediocre routine job that they hate. I don't want that and can't deal with it, it would be a living hell for me. Equally, I really can't live with my parents for very much longer, for other reasons.
It's really the pattern of what my life has been so far that makes me reluctant to see the rest of it will be, if it follows as it always has before, it's going to get steadily worse. Life is hard, with little gain for people like me, and I just can't find the point anymore.
I also appreciate that most of this seems like something that most teenagers would say for one reason or another.

 

[Glorious manwhore]

OH PISS OFF!
There are people out there that have worse lives than you, and right now I just see this as fishing for comfort.
What you should do, is either one of three things! Yes! I have three things that can greatly improve your life.

A) Get a penis enlargement.
-
Seriously, this helped me greatly, I feel like a bigger man when I walked out.

B)If you have a special skill, grow it, if you don't have a skill, find it.

-
Everyone has a special skill that they have for themselves, for instance, I have drawing and painting, I'm a better painter than a drawer, but I do try to improve myself in drawing,since I aspire to become an animator someday, and if that fails, then I'll probably just go into computers.

C)Don't pity yourself, always have respect for yourself and keep your head high.

-
Mate, I've been in the same spot in my life, and you know what? I felt like you, that I was a hashbrown who didn't deserve anything, but you know, I started looking on the brighter side of things, even if it was hard from time to time.

Take care and if these answers don't help, then seek help.
For your answers, are not in the end of a barrel.


-The Glorious Manwhore.

 

[IndomitableSam]

Snip

You're failing? Why? Not enough motivation? You don't study, try to find someone who will teach you, or you just don't care? Are you bored with the work? FInd the problem and identify it. THe first step to becoming an adult is defining what needs to be done and why and then simply doing it. You'll gain a huge amount of self worth and pride for figuring things out and fixing them all by yourself.

Everyone has horrific social skills as a teen. Me? I had crying, ranty fits when my best friend started hanging out with someone more than she did with me. I hated a girl, so I spent as much time as possible with the guy she liked just to piss her off. I had no idea how to act around guys I actually liked so I didn't say a thing, or if I did it was so stupid they'd tell me so. When my friends (most of whom were a year older than me) graduated, I was left behind and hated lunch periods as I wandered the halls aimlessley and pretended to be doing something when people saw me so they wouldn't think I was friendless. ... Think you're alone? Everyone was a teenager once.

Life can't always get worse - especially if you're only a teen. I was all of the above - plus I had bad skin and was overweight and all the boys and girls knew I loved anime and video games, and this was the 90's so I was terribly ridiculed for it. The flood of 1997 happened, so my city was nearly decimated, my grandparents moved in with us while my grandpa was dying of cancer and we had to clean up his messes and feed him dinners run through a blender as he couldn't eat solids. Then they went home, and cut to a couple months later: A couple days before my birthday, my cat got hit by a car (I wasn't home, I was at my cousin's playing on his computer because I loved games so much, so he wasn't found and treated right away). Two days after my birthday we had to finally put him down. Five days after that, my grampa finally died. So I had to bear with my mother being heartbroken. Then, just before school started? Best friend moved away. A few years later my gramma moved in with us (and stayed for a year or so) because she was blind and deaf, so I had to care for her, too. Come home at lunch to make her her food, clean up after her, get her settled, go back to school. She was not a nice woman.


That's just a snippet of some of the "bad" parts of my life. Yours may be worse, but everyone's is shit sometimes. I have worse, darker, more horrific stories, but those are private things. I'm still here, though.

... I'm 29. I still haven't done what I wanted to do in life. I was failing in University because I was bored and didn't care. I worked crap retail jobs for years, before I decided I needed to change and went to Library School - I was 26. I got straight A's. I loved it because most of my classmates were adults and we were part the teenage crap. (Mostly.. we were almost all women, so there was drama...) .... I want to write a novel. I've tried. Spent years working on it and editing it, and sending it to publishers, only to be turned down dozens of times. Still, it's my dream. In the meantime, I'm working a job I don't really enjoy, but pays well so I can spend my off time doing what I want to do.

Which is what being an adult is. Working while trying to find your place in life and enjoying yourself while you can.

The me now? I have one really good friend who I go out with every couple weeks. I have a few other friends I see every few months, and those friends you always say "oh, let's get together" to and never do. I"m still nervous in public and always think I'm background material compared to my friends. I'm going to a wedding next month and am terrified I'll be left by myself as all the people I know are in the bridal party, so I'll just be there alone most of the time. Adults still have social issues, too.


Quick bit: I contemplated suicide when I was about 17. My parents weren't getting along, I had all of the above issues, I thought I would amount to nothing in life and it was all worthless. But I couldn't do it because I knew my family loved me and I could make something of myself. I'm glad I didn't. I fucked around until I was 25 wasting my time, talent, and self worth, but then I finally turned it around going back to school. I got a job as a school librarian and I fell in love with those children. Everything I did for those couple years was for them and I woke up exicted to see them every day. Best thing I've ever done. Since then I've moved on (not really my choice, but I was a role model for those kids so I still live as if I was), but now I have a lot to look forward to: buying a house, travelling, upcoming games, books, movies, events, meeting new people... all of it.

And I'm single. Have been for years. It only bothers me when people ask why I'm single - but it's different when you're a woman. Being single isn't the end of the world. I don't care - I'm happy with my life. Even if I wasn't ten years ago. Did I think I'd be who I am now ten years ago? Hell no - but I'm happy I gave myself the chance to find out.

 

[idodo35]

well im in a simmilar (if slightly better) situation right now
i too feel isolated and alone and have felt it most of my life
right now i just chose to isolate myself from other kids my age who were my old friends (or at least one of them was a real friend the others more like people to hang with) and yea its kind of rubbish
but ive got to a conclution that i cant just off myself
there are two reasons for that that i hope apply to you and will be reason not to go on this direction:
a. i cant do it to the familly- my parents never did anything to diserve their son suiciding so it just wont be right
b. if you fail your life will become much much worse and im talking istitution worse
c. things can always get better even if like in my case only temporarly and life can feel toleratable again (even fun at rare times)

my suggestion is just live out your life in games,books and other things to distract u from your missery and wait for something to change...

if you are in high school things might get better when you leave if youre past that then change something and find whats worth living for...

thats from my expiriance

 

[senordesol]

I think at this point I should elaborate a little: I come from an area which isn't exactly...Friendly, toward "alternative thinkers" or even just thinkers, really. I see the only person I would really consider a friend maybe once or twice a year. My life has always been solitary and unbearable, and I've always been criticised and bullied for being different, but too stubborn to change into what they wanted me to be, which was them.
I don't regret this, because I like who I am, but faced with the fact that nearly everyone I have ever met has either imediatly hated me or slowly grown to hate me, I've come to realise that no matter what I do, people will always grow apart from me. I'm fairly sure I've only remained friends with the one other person because of the distance.
I have always felt horrible, most of my life, and being a teenager is the first step where I am old enough to understand A) what suicide is and B) why it might be an option.
Faced with the prospect of leaving home and getting Job, I have seen people far smarter and richer than me live unemployed for years before settling into a mediocre routine job that they hate. I don't want that and can't deal with it, it would be a living hell for me. Equally, I really can't live with my parents for very much longer, for other reasons.
It's really the pattern of what my life has been so far that makes me reluctant to see the rest of it will be, if it follows as it always has before, it's going to get steadily worse. Life is hard, with little gain for people like me, and I just can't find the point anymore.
I also appreciate that most of this seems like something that most teenagers would say for one reason or another.

What? Seriously, what?

You're going to off yourself over something that might happen?

That shit you're so scared of: I lived it. And I agree, it sucks. Wasn't worth killing myself over though, mainly because as I dredged through the mire and muck of mediocrity, I used my free time to hone the talents I was truly interested in. There's no rule that says you can't do the same.

The people around you bumming you out? Move.
Want a job doing what you love? Work hard and make it happen, or make up your own work. My wife could not find a job to save her life out of college, so she decided that she would hire herself if no one else would.

You are going to have to wallow through some shit, I ain't gonna lie. But that's the story on everything worth having. Again, you've said nothing that worth taking your own life; you're scared of what might happen. We're all scared of what might happen. But that doesn't mean it's going to happen, and the chances of it happening go down drastically if you work against it.

Don't give up. You have not experienced even a tiny iota of what life has to offer you.

Being an adult comes with problems, yes, but being an adult means you can address those problems on YOUR terms. Suicide, however, is not addressing the problem. Suicide is further pain, misery, and death where there need not be any. You are going through NOTHING millions of other teens haven't gone through, survived, and ended up just fine.

Press on.

 

[bluepilot]

If you have poor academic and social skills, well, it is not the end of the world. It just means that you will be a bit of a later bloomer in life. Some people pick a skill and spend 40 plus years honing that skill.

There are many people who left school with no formal qualifications and went on to excel in business. Since you said that you are good in art, maybe you have a future as a cartoonist, or as a craftsman.

Instead of aiming for University, why not aim to learn a trade? Becoming a doctor or a lawyer is one thing but even the very top people cannot fix their own toilets. The money you can gat being a plumber these days, ka-ching!

So, yeah, suicide is not a logical answer because you have not explored all possible options yet.

 

[evilneko]

Hide in your computer. Ignore other people. Pour all this self-destructive energy into your academics. Go to college out of town.

Hey, it might work. And if it doesn't, the worst that can happen is you have a bit more life experience.

That's basically how I got through my teenage years. Minus the leaving town part.

 

[EliDaSpanishFly]

I've read every comment on this post. You guys are some amazing people!!

I want to share my story with you SpectacularWebHead.

I'm going to geek it up for a moment. I don't know if you have played Black Ops for the Xbox 360(In which case if you haven't then damn....It's cool, the game isn't that awesome). But the game gives you this option called "Second chance"(Bear with me I've been playing Black ops all-day today.). Now, I was getting my ass kicked in so many different ways today. I mean I was getting knifes in the back. I was being killed by camping assholes. People talked shit to me after they layed down a can of woop ass. I have to admit I was getting pissed. But, every time I was shot down and left to die; it gave me the option to press "X" and take the cowards way out. I never once pressed that son of a ***** "X" button. It's to easy. Instead I went down like a spartan destroying the enemy team(I'M NOT TELLING YOU TO GO OUT AND BEAT UP ANYONE THAT HAS BEEN PISSING YOU OFF. VIOLENCE IS NOT THE ANSWER!)

Anyways I love this perk because it reminded me about how I use to be in my high school years. High School was a shitty time for me. People picked on me all the time because I was fat. I also wasn't the smartest guy around town, so I was a dumb fat guy(self esteem level:0.00) I admit I felt like "X"ing myself so many times. But, this fat boy had some fight left in him. Junior year, I meet my brothers girlfriends friend. Her name was Lauren. She was 2 years older than me. She is the most beautiful girl I've ever layed eyes on. And some how I managed to hang out with her 1 on 1 one day(she wanted to get something to eat and I knew of a few good places.) We had a pretty awesome day together laughing and talking literally about nonsense. I told her about how much I hate High School. And how I felt about myself. She told me these simple words. She said, "Fuck what anyone thinks of you and prove the world wrong."(See now at this point I wanted to go in for a badass movie scene kiss. But I didn't -.- lol.) Any who, after that day I went home and sat down and realized how much I let people get to me. I mean its so simple, the answer. Fuck what anyone thinks of you(excuse my language-Lauren said it not me lol.) Junior/Senior year I had this new way of thinking. Fuck everyone, I'm going to prove this world wrong and become something. I passed all my classes with A's, B's and graduated. I took all my hate/anger I was feeling and directed it into positive things. I Started doing martial arts(Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu). I put more time into studying(It actually wasn't hard to just add an extra hour in)! I rebuilt myself mentally and physically. I gained a new outlook on life. I saw the world changing around me and it was beautiful(I felt like Neo, I was seeing 0's and 1's. And no, I wasn't on drugs!lol). Now, I'm currently attending a community college finishing up my GE requirements, so I can apply for a nursing program.

Dude, I know how you are feeling. But screw the "X" button cowards way out. To easy. We are Spartans. Rebuild yourself. And build your empire. "Fuck what anyone thinks of you and prove the world wrong."-Lauren

Now, I must go back to Black Ops and figure out a way to kick ass for tomorrow >.>



If yah need a kickstart, feel free to send a message my way!

-Keep Calm and Chive On!

Sincerely, Elias

 

[SpectacularWebHead]

OH PISS OFF!
There are people out there that have worse lives than you, and right now I just see this as fishing for comfort.
What you should do, is either one of three things! Yes! I have three things that can greatly improve your life.

A) Get a penis enlargement.
-
Seriously, this helped me greatly, I feel like a bigger man when I walked out.

B)If you have a special skill, grow it, if you don't have a skill, find it.

-
Everyone has a special skill that they have for themselves, for instance, I have drawing and painting, I'm a better painter than a drawer, but I do try to improve myself in drawing,since I aspire to become an animator someday, and if that fails, then I'll probably just go into computers.

C)Don't pity yourself, always have respect for yourself and keep your head high.

-
Mate, I've been in the same spot in my life, and you know what? I felt like you, that I was a hashbrown who didn't deserve anything, but you know, I started looking on the brighter side of things, even if it was hard from time to time.

Take care and if these answers don't help, then seek help.
For your answers, are not in the end of a barrel.


-The Glorious Manwhore.

...I think the fact that it started with "Piss off" and ended with "The glorious manwhore" makes it a little hard to value your opinions mate.

 

[Glorious manwhore]

OH PISS OFF!
There are people out there that have worse lives than you, and right now I just see this as fishing for comfort.
What you should do, is either one of three things! Yes! I have three things that can greatly improve your life.

A) Get a penis enlargement.
-
Seriously, this helped me greatly, I feel like a bigger man when I walked out.

B)If you have a special skill, grow it, if you don't have a skill, find it.

-
Everyone has a special skill that they have for themselves, for instance, I have drawing and painting, I'm a better painter than a drawer, but I do try to improve myself in drawing,since I aspire to become an animator someday, and if that fails, then I'll probably just go into computers.

C)Don't pity yourself, always have respect for yourself and keep your head high.

-
Mate, I've been in the same spot in my life, and you know what? I felt like you, that I was a hashbrown who didn't deserve anything, but you know, I started looking on the brighter side of things, even if it was hard from time to time.

Take care and if these answers don't help, then seek help.
For your answers, are not in the end of a barrel.


-The Glorious Manwhore.

...I think the fact that it started with "Piss off" and ended with "The glorious manwhore" makes it a little hard to value your opinions mate.

The reason, why I'm telling you to piss off, is because you need to find something that's well, you. Not just post something on the forums. Trust me, it's better for you that way and also, get some help.

Also, this just sets it in stone for me, this is a pity fiesta. Don't do that to your self.