Suppose God gave you the keys to the car...

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jhoroz

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Mar 7, 2012
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JaceArveduin said:
I'd be a lazy shabuir to be honest, let life play out how it will while creating myself a utopia and doing whatever pleases me for the rest of my eternal life
So basically be the exact same way God has always been up 'till now?
 

JaceArveduin

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Mar 14, 2011
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jhoroz said:
JaceArveduin said:
I'd be a lazy shabuir to be honest, let life play out how it will while creating myself a utopia and doing whatever pleases me for the rest of my eternal life
So basically be the exact same way God has always been up 'till now?
Yeah, but with even less proof of my existence, I don't want some crazy di'kuts following me around writing down every time I take a drink.
 

OmniscientOstrich

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Jan 6, 2011
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Harmlessly kill all forms of life and bring them into the afterlife. Seriously, if a dimension of perennial tranquility exists, why would you bother to dump all your lifeforms in this shit hole of a universe in the first place? (On a similar-ish note, if God doesn't want you to do something, why would it enable you the capacity to do it?) As a less up my own arse answer, I'd try to adopt the form of the great FSM and get as many people as I can to follow pastafarianism. :) (though if they choose not to believe, that's cool too, as I have decreed in the first of my 8 I'd really rather you didn'ts. :3)
 

KwikDraw13

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Mar 28, 2012
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Oh wow... lots of stuff to do...
1. Win back my ex with my awesome powers.
1-b. Turn my ex into a turtle, if 1-a doesn't work.

2. Release Mother 3 in America.

3. Bring back Firefly

4. Make a huge library with a copy of every movie, book, video game, etc.

5. Make a machine, inside the library, that lets you go into any movie, book, video game, etc.

6. Become a Dictator with either Kefka's theme or His Highness's theme as my national anthem.

7. Create an inter dimensional prison of fire for everyone I hate... Only pleasant. Like how hell is presented in comedies. Or just make hell that way, and use that.

8. Create Magic and all of its rules.

That's about it... Other than that, just mess around.
 

DanielBrown

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Dec 3, 2010
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"kthx"
I'd probably make Mars a habitable planet and do my best to get mankind able to traverse the galaxies. I might not be a fan of sci-fi, but I still think it would be awesome if we had that technology.
 

doctorbreen

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May 31, 2010
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give the world a source or free clean renewable energy and replicators after that everyone else is on there own. for my self kick back and enjoy having powers of mass destruction
 

Wierdguy

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Feb 16, 2011
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Before or after I slap him in the face for doing such a piss-poor job for an all-powerfull all-knowing entity?

Probably spend a century fixing his mess.
 

loc978

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Sep 18, 2010
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Mass broadcast the exact nature of the universe to everyone's mind every single day so there can be no question of "true religion" or any other such malarkey. Also, I'd start punishing people quite directly for being dicks. Free will would be limited considerably under my rule.
 

EHKOS

Madness to my Methods
Feb 28, 2010
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I would make Andy Gavin my second in command, and let him meld the earth into a tropical paradise. Strike down Activision and radical entertainment, humble EA into what they were when they were smaller, free all animals from abuse, bring back Vampire the Masquerade(seriously my source books are collecting dust) get rid of all spiders, create some new animals, make one government to rule Pangaea, and handle things from there. There would be so much more to work out but those are the first things on my list....oh and make a godly computer with a 12GHz dual core processor.
 

BNguyen

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Mar 10, 2009
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The Night Angel said:
I would use my power to make it so no God ever existed, and that the universe hadn't been created, that way atheists like me would be right...
but then you would be wrong because at that point you'd be declared god - besides if he had the power to give you god-like abilities, he could just as easily take it all back before you could so much as blink
besides, if you were to go back and erase all that, wouldn't that just prove the existence of god? because if something doesn't exist, how can you erase it?

doggy go 7 said:
I do a fuckload better than he's doing, i.e. SOMETHING.
when you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all
 

poiuppx

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Nov 17, 2009
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I'd announce myself globally, punk out a wide array of fanatics, terrorists, and tyrants in ways that would evoke as much laughter as they would righteous fist pumps, and then I'd set to work helping humanity in more subtle ways. Y'know, help them crack various secrets of the universe, how the human body works, how to make some really bitching cool artificial intelligence, that sort of thing. I'd go to all sorts of geeky shit, conventions and what not, because if God was giving it the thumbs up, hey, kinda out of vogue to NOT be into it at that stage. I'd make a bitching awesome headquarters somewhere, like maybe Egypt or Texas, that would look like the fever dream acid trip creation of H.P. Lovecraft and Tolkien combined. And once a year I'd bring back legends of humanity's past, from historical leaders to kick-ass musicians, for a week long history festival that would culminate with unfairly awesome concerts.

Then, one day, once I've more or less confirmed myself as one of the coolest deities outside of fiction, I'd call a press conference- because, yeah, could make myself manifest to everyone simultaneously, but that's so rude and invasive -and point up to the stars.

"Humanity's destiny is out there. Time to start finding it, folks."

And just because I can... I'd have Lucas design humanity's first capital starship. And then just jury-rig reality to make it work. Though if he mentions Ewoks or Gungans, I'mma have to divine slap him.

Oh, and once a decade, I'd just make it rain Pop Rocks on a major metropolitan city. I would never explain this action nor even directly admit I was doing it.
 

CleverCover

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Nov 17, 2010
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Have a mental breakdown.
Spend five years trying to help the world.
Realize I can't help the world without something else must as bad happening elsewhere.
Start to depsise human beings and go on a "Kira" rage.
Have another mental breakdown.
Decide to screw everyone and use abilities for my own personal benefit.
Raise Micheal Jackson from the dead and have him finish his tour.
Give Bioware enough money for their games to be self-supportive.
Hire MoS to write my theme song.
Live in peace and happiness until I feel like dying then hand keys to my brother.
 

doggy go 7

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Jul 28, 2010
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BNguyen said:
doggy go 7 said:
I do a fuckload better than he's doing, i.e. SOMETHING.
when you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all
I'm fairly sure the current God/allah/jehov-h/budda/krishnu/ect. isn't doing things right at the moment, more just not doing anything (see sub saharan africa and the amount of babies getting AIDS, amoung other things, for one obvious example of inactivity). So I'd get onto that
 

Helmholtz Watson

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Nov 7, 2011
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Make every religion and divine being real! Also every mythic place, animal, object, thing real as well! Finally that magic is real! It would be one hell of a world to live in. Oh, also that there are other advance alien races! Yeah, I think that would be crazy awesome.
 

BNguyen

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Mar 10, 2009
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okay, if I suddenly became god, there'd be a few things I'd do before being the pinnacle of power

1. everyone who is acting like a dick or a prick with power who hurts others for amusement - use my powers to prick them with a thorn everytime they want to act like dicks
2. make the land everywhere much more fertile and plentiful for growing crops and raising animals
3. gather up all terrorists and extremists together and create a giant prison
4. find a way to put proper upstanding people into government positions who can get us out of this recession
5. at the same time to every aetheist whisper into their ears "If god isn't real, then who are you listening to right now?" and if they still deny my presence I'd group them together like the terrorists and extremists and just show off my power
6. clean up all polluted areas in the world at the same time - instant clean earth, as well as fix the hole in the ozone, restore the ice caps - yeah, yeah, environmentalism, but as long as Earth is all we have, I might as well clean it up.
7. catch every murderer, child molester, rapist, greed driven thief, and idiot (not mentally handicapped people but those who deliberately do stupid things to hurt others - mostly inexperienced motorists) and have them put away, isolating them from the rest of the world - society can do much better without these people
I'm not a killer and even if my will had become divine law, I still wouldn't do it

and even if I have all this power, trying to push the earth forward in development at a rapid pace will not get rid of people who want to ruin it for money or power, people need to move at a pace that they can deal with.
 
Jun 7, 2010
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I'd make it seem like the world was going to end that day just to see what everyone did, i wouldn't actually end the world though. At least, not before going stark-raving bonkers with power.

I'd secretly tip all the odds in Scotland's favour.

Copy/paste the earth and moon on the opposite side of regular earth's orbit but without copying the people and have a suprise rapture, not based on faith but on an objective measure of being a good person. The good people would go to the second earth (where global warming has been fixed by me) and leave the dickheads to rot on regular, shitty earth. No more cool people would be born on shitty-earth.

Maybe i'd also make a second moon out of all the money in the world, and then burn it for the shiggles.