Take your favorite game - and RIP IT TO SHREDS!

[v3n0mat3]

Spoiler

God of War 3
1.Sound glitch froze up my console... twice
2.Weird loading glitch froze up my game... and I couldn't get past one point. At all. Had to start back from the BEGINNING OF THE DAMN GAME. This was when I was doing my "hard mode" run, so it wasn't that big of a deal
3.The Harpy jump thing can get fucked up pretty easily. Pay attention.
4.Combat can get overly repetitive... yet that's what I like about the game. It sticks to its guns and does it wonderfully. Still, repetitive.
5.Some odd graphic glitches here and there. Texture models look off, some look bland.
6.There should have been more wall/door finding puzzles (PUZZLES, not secret chests found throughout the game) featuring the head of Helios.

Spoiler

Demon's Souls
1.Levels 1-2, 1-3, and 2-2. WTF Atlus?
2.That DAMN Dragon in level 1-3
3."Please help!"
4."The next part is safe" *death by boulder*
5.TOWER KNIGHT
6.MAGICIAN
7....EVERY SINGLE BOSS IN THAT GAME

 

[The Heik]

Mass Effect 2
1) The mining was bad pre-patch. Mind you, they fixed it so I guess that counts as 1/2.
2) I would have liked a few more skills.
3) The dreaded "Bioware Look" haunts the game at times.

4) Is starting to rely too much on DLC
5) Some "continuations" of ME1 encounters were total crap (I'm looking at you, Conrad Werner)
6) Overall limited enemy variety: Mecenaries, Geth and Collectors

7) Couldn't explore anywhere
8) The "Bioware poses" haunt the game too
9) Healing should not be a power
10) The mining is still a ***** even after the patch
11) Let me use Wrex for God's sake!

Still love the game though

 

[DavidTheWise]

Minecraft:

1)Creepers
2)diamonds
3)Combat is so wonky and awkward I just end up cowering.
4)sand suffocation instadeath when trying to head to the surface.

 

[Delusibeta]

Team Fortress 2:
1) HATSHATSHATSHATSHATS... Seriously now? Shoot the other team, not observe your hats.
2) Some of the maps Valve included are duff (step forward Junction).
3) Mann-conomy Complaint 1: Why don't keys drop?
4) Too much trade talk in some pub servers.
5) Mann-conomy Complaint 2: What can I do will all these crates?
6) Some of the weapons are straight upgrades (e.g. Ubersaw, Axetinguisher/Powerjack).
7) Balance is somewhat off with the new update kit, especially the Pyro's stuff.
8) Having several indicators on screen does get very confusing for Medics.
9) Lack of teamwork in pub servers (although that's to be expected).
10) Some of the weapons are hard to distinguish from a distance (e.g. Pyro's axes).
11) Can be a bit too chaotic for some recently.
12) That "Promoted Item" box takes up more space on the menu than the Play Now and Organise Items buttons.
13) £12 for a hat? You're having a laugh.
14) Time limited hats? You're having a laugh.
15) Drop system is poor. You get five items one day, three items the next, and then none the next five days.
16) Crafting is a joke.
17) No singleplayer to speak of (but that's why it's in The Orange Box).
18) Bots only work for Dustbowl and some KotH maps (after some fiddling).
19) Valve keeps piling on the ideas that they may reuse in DOTA 2 in a game that has little to do with DotA.
20) Why does Steam occasionally block me from my loadout? "The server has disconnected from Steam" they say. Poppycock.
21) Not enough Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy references.

Trilby hat please.

 

[shadyh8er]

Resident Evil 4

1. Ashley's scream is fucking annoying!
2. You can't move while aiming.
3. Some of the weapons are overpowered. (Lookin' at you Chicago Typewriter!)
4. You have to pause the game every time you want to switch weapons and/or heal. And I do mean EVERY time.
5. The ending boss wasn't as thrilling as all the others.
6. The Handcannon is hardly worth unlocking.

And I'm Reasonable! Nice!

 

[Professor James]

Fallout 3:

1. Lots of bugs
2. Not a whole lot of quest content compared to other Beth games
3. Awkward animations
4. I can't fast travel to indoor locations
5. Giant Radscorpions

Um, I loved everything else about it.

This but replace radscorpions with deathclaws and super mutants they scare me at night (in game)

and I'm adding the companion A.I. constantly getting stuck in places

actually my favorite game is timesplitters but haven't played it in 4 years so I forgot about it

 

[glitch388]

Spoiler: Portal

Dear Portal,

Hey, WAY TO BE 2 FRIGGIN HOURS LONG!! Ive memorized your easy as easy mac puzzles so well that if i started a portal campaign and the movie Jackass or Spaceballs, i can finish you with still about half an hour left in those movies. Plus, SCREW YOU for making me click a button each time i die in order to even start the loading process. GAH.

Spoiler: Metroid Prime

Dear Metroid Prime,

1. I get it. The chozo ghosts are pissed off. Stop making me fight them every time i leave a room.

2. Why are the Wavebuster and Flamethrower items so short range? I never used them and disliked having to find them.

3. Why must the Ice Shriekbats disappear partway through the game? I always seem to never be able to get their scans no matter how many times i play it.

 

[AngelOfBlueRoses]

Dear Final Fantasy 9:

1. Why the hell does Garnet not become of much use until later on?
2. You start off with a good plot, but what the hell is this with the Terra thing all of a sudden in the third disc?
3. Your final boss is a bore. It felt lame.
4. My god, this game was so long. It took me literally a week and a half of playing you non-stop every day to beat you.
5. You seriously did not tell me that Vivi stopped, right? Right? ;_;
6. CLANKCLANKCLANKCLANKCLANKCLANKCLANKCLANK
7. Your side-quests fucked me over sometimes and without the help of my lover... I would never even completed a lot.
8. QUEEN HIPPOLARD
9. Your battle system seemed slow and kinda... clumsy.
10. Some characters are a ***** to make use of, even if you did like them.
11. No offense, but your ATE system is kind of gay and not very interesting.
12. "Kweh. Kweh. Kweh. Kweh. Kweh. Kweh. Kweh. Kweh. Kweh?! Kweh. Kweh. Kweh." "...."

I'd rate myself as reasonable because I absolutely -loved- this game.

 

[XIGBARx13]

Spoiler: Dead Rising

1) The save system is an abomination. Only one slot, and a minimal number of save locations? Give me a break.

2) The difficulty starts at the level of "game designed for toddlers," and is quickly cranked up to the level of "controller breakingly frustrating."

3) The text is so small at times that you'd need to hold a magnifying glass to the screen just to be able to read it. A video game shouldn't require an HDTV to play it correctly.

4) The shooting controls are some of the worst I have ever seen in a video game. Right Trigger should absolutely NOT be used to aim a gun, with X to actually shoot it.

5) The survivor NPCs are completely idiotic. You shouldn't need to find a special book just to make them follow you somewhat normally.

6A) (The transceiver deserves its own sub-section of complaints.) The transceiver will be constantly ringing in your ears until you answer it. Persistence = extreme annoyance.
B) When answering the transceiver, you basically cripple yourself and leave yourself wide open to attack. Better hope you're in some area the zombies can't touch you.
C) If you do get attacked, just once, the call ends, then Otis immediately calls you back and gives you attitude for "being rude."
D) If you miss a call for whatever reason, you're screwed. Why you can't just call Otic back a minute later, I don't know.

7) The time limit on the story mode missions can be insanely strict, forcing players to reload just because they were 5 steps too slow to the next Case.

8) Load times can be a bit too long at times.

9) The Infinity Mode is interesting, but one major detail must have slipped Capcom's mind when they decided to include an achievement for surviving 7 days without stopping or dying. The fact that the Xbox 360 is notorious for overheating and hardware failures. Leaving your 360 on 14+ hours straight obviously can't be good for it in any way.


Critic Score: 15

 

[katsumoto03]

KotOR

1. The graphics were kind of bad.
2. Some of the event triggers crapped themselves and died.
3. The combat was annoying at times.
4. Sometimes swamped you with dialogue

Reasonable.

 

[MrGalactus]

Dear GTA: San Andreas;

The people in you all look ugly as hell
Getting away from the cops after 3 stars is IMPOSSIBLE
All your guns are essentially the same thing
Lack of real co op is lame
Stupid girlfriend time system is annoying as hell
Cars explode after about 5 punches to the headlight
The whole bit with Mike Toreno is cool, but its just a massive plot hole filled in with bullshit.
tapping X to sprint is like givng yourself carpel tunnel syndrome to sprint.
Having to be within a certain range to perform a headshot defeats the purpose of it.
Most missions are too easy
The enemies taking over your territory when you're fucking around is he second most irratating thing in video gaming, after GTAIV's socialization thing.
AND MORE DD

 

[Captain Epic]

Bioshock
1.Very lame morality system
2.Find pistol ammo everywhere but you never use it anyway
3.Terrible final boss
4.Sometimes audio diaries I found a while ago randomly start playing
5.Vibrating corpses
6.Enemies have way too much health after the plot twist
7.Hardly ever scary
8.Good karma ending is really cheesey
9.Bad karma ending is fucking retarded!
9.5.Vita chamber system is bad but that's half a point cause you can turn them off.

High Standards. Come on, I'm reasonable.

 

[PiercisionBass]

Spoiler: Dragon Age: Origins

1. The Fade section in the Circle Tower.
2. Arl Rendon Howe.
3. "That's what I heard on the road, anyhow--take it for what it is." ad nauseam
4. Love scenes with the underwear painted on at all times?
5. Sword-&-shield is nearly a useless offensive skill tree.
6. Releasing DLC with a major bug that causes a major character to forget an important decision.
7. Not allowing me to learn the "Spirit Healer" specialization in the vanilla game.
8. Velanna. Bitchier and less important than Morrigan, with half the usefulness.
9. Having Fergus show up, unannounced, at the end-game ceremony.
10. Sten disapproves (-238)
11. Zevran approves (+238)
12. The fucking unskippable Fade section in the Circle Tower.
13. "Arcane Warrior" specialization = game breaker.

 

[lacktheknack]

Dear GTA: San Andreas;

The people in you all look ugly as hell

I burst into peals of laughter. Am I irredeemably immature?

 

[MrGalactus]

Dear GTA: San Andreas;

The people in you all look ugly as hell

I burst into peals of laughter. Am I irredeemably immature?

HA! Didn't even notice.

 

[Colonel Alzheimer's]

Mass Effect 2:
The morality/dialog system tells you which choices are right and which are wrong, which takes away some choice from the player.
Mining is not that bad could have been worse not as good as the rest of the game.
I miss the inventory, even if it was terrible in Mass Effect 1.
Alright that's three... um...
Zaeed wasn't as good as the other characters. But he was free, so it's hard to complain.
Some of the DLC costs money. That counts, right?
This is hard.

 

[wammnebu]

Star Wars Knights of The Old Republic

Hey kids, wanna watch lightsaber battles in a video game in all 3 techniques (including the forward smack, forward block, and right swoop)? Now you can live the role of the famous jedi, without affecting the cannon in Star Wars Knights of The Old Republic. The old republic takes place 4000 years before the galactic civil war-thus retconing out the atrocities of episodes 1-3, to a place when the Sith were indomitable power rangers not the galactic red scare. Now frighteningly enough after 4000 years the technology of the star wars universe has remained exactly the same, heck the old republic is more stagnant and regressive than the byzantine empire under Michael Eisner. One of the things i liked about kotor more than jedi outcast was that the lightsaber battles didnt just look like people lobbing glowing baseball bats at each other. The problem with it though was that it was a turn base game under cover as a cinematic. Unfortunately you can find that it isnt your turn only when it was too late such as wanting to use a health pack, but its really darth bandaid's turn to spin you in force drain pipe, and play korriban pinata on your robe. now that that surfaces on my mind, why were all the robes only towards the waist? Don't the jedi's get self concious or does master vrook sitt with his legs crossed? Anyways after the herodotean moment, lets just say that mixing real time and turn base just turns the paper green (if you high school chem posters don not get that joke i can tell you how your test went). Overall though it didnt matter as at lvl 15 you got the force wave power, or to go by its beta name "god smiteth thee." The game featured a lot of arbritary components including the disable mine feature that every rpg has according to UN declaration 1066.B Although they did come in handy when i used them to break the game and defeat the final boss in such a comicaly anticlamatic way the mines were probably made by acme. Overall the story was good, and the characters were good in the bioware way, which is why i didnt bring them up

 

[baconated]

Spoiler: Ogre Battle 64: Person of Lordly Caliber

1. Many of the names are just impossible to pronounce as a North American. Trivial, but it is annoying to play knowing you are pronouncing the main dude's name wrong.
2. The combat is slow paced. At best, each level takes half an hour. Most are closer to an hour.
3. You do not participate in the combat. You can manage it, poorly (and not until well into the game).
4. The end of the game is just too easy. It is broken into 4 chapters, and the 4th is simply faceroll.
5. Casters are to balanced gameplay as a crowbar is to a kneecap. By endgame melee exist only to me shield your casters from opposing melee.
6. The amount of 'hidden' stuff in the game is absolutely staggering. I say 'hidden' as some stuff, like the birthday presents, isn't really hidden; you just have to spend allot of time putsing around to get it.
7. The stuff that actually is hidden, is far too hidden. Remember, this is before the internet was common. Some stuff you get by standing on a particular spot on a map (not that bad); some you get by revisiting a particular map, and visiting a village on a particular day of the year, during a particular time of day; some you get by revisiting a particular map, visiting a particular village, on a particular day of the month, and answer questions but the correct answers depend on what time of day it is (yes this is true).
8. Some of said hidden stuff is massively overpowered. The second example I gave you in 7 is available at the beginning of chapter 2, and will give you an item that will make you caster 1 shop opponent groups like it is end game already. If you get these items, the game will be a cakewalk the whole way through.
9. Getting all those items is probably about 5 hours of game time. Maybe more. Have fun
10. While I can approve of the use of an alignment system, and it makes sense in this case, they botched it. It is seeming quite standard: kill a high level/chaotic dude and go lawful; kill a low level/lawful good and become chaotic. The problem is the dudes in your group will also change alignment based on the dudes in his group. Make sense from a distance, but means that once the group alignment shifts sufficiently far away from 50/50, the group quickly approaches 1 extreme regardless of all other factors.
11. While the alignment system is used to determine the class choices available for your dudes, it is also used to determine whether you capture or liberate a village. In battle, if you take over a village, and the group you sent to take it over roughly matches the alignment of the village, you liberate the village. Otherwise you capture it. This is the mechanic used to determine the ending you get, but the game doesn't mention it unless you specifically hunt for it.
12. Gameplay is reaaaally slow. Enough to count as two.
13. Some classes are weak due to poor stats gains or a lack of quality gear.
14. The main plotline is solid, the side plots seem underdeveloped. The game filled the N64 cartridge, but I think axing one or two of the side plots to further develop the remainig would have been the better choice.

 

[darkfire613]

World of Warcraft

1. Lots of douchebags play
2. Grinding can get boring
3. Level cap is so high, leveling to the cap takes forever
4. Runs poorly on my laptop
5. Patches are big, annoying downloads
6. Subscription fee
7. Sucks more time than most other games
8. Ruins social life

 

[lacktheknack]

I can't do it. Okami is too perfect. Apparently that makes me a raving fanboy, despite the fact that I've never owned another Sony console, nor do I really care all that much for any other Capcom games. The exception perhaps being Megaman X through X3.

It makes you a raving fanboy of Okami, though.

Seriously, it's the second coming of Christ personified?