Taking bansturbation to a new level of stupid

[Hitokiri_Gensai]

thats hilarious.

 

[mjc0961]

I'm actually rather said that neither Eurogamer or Kotaku seemed to pick up on the part where the petition says that Skyrim is made by Blizzard. Sure, they both quoted the petition, but neither actually said anything about that.

 

[Kopikatsu]

99% of people who played SkyRim attempted anal sex afterward! We need to protect our children from this horrible game that's teaching SkyRimjob techniques.

Signed. For Great Justice. Lifts-Her-Tail will not stand for this.

 

[Bagk Nakh]

I'm stunned, Lucien L wasn't on there. Maybe I should double check...

EDIT: or Mudcra B

 

[neonsword13-ops]

1) To enact an immediate ban on the videogame known as "SkyRim" produced by Blizzard Entertainment.

Bfft... He.. Hehe... HA HA! HA HA HAAAAAA!

SO FUNNY!

Oh my god, that's great! I love that the Dovahkiin would ban his own game!

Also, To our government,

It's good to know the trolls of america are hard at work.

 

[Revnak_v1legacy]

Wow, those idiot trolls at christwire need to seriously grow up. And if they weren't the ones that made this, whatever trolls that did make this after reading their article need to grow up. This isn't funny, this is misinformation for laughs. I have no doubt that somewhere out there someone is never going to play Skyrim because these morons trolled their brains out about it. I feel like hating them and I haven't even read their horrible article. Seriously, grow the fuck up.

 

[kebab4you]

Blizzard working on a new game? Why haven't anyone told me about this "SkyRim"[footnote] A second look at it I see what the trolls was going for: Sky Rim, perverted fuckers[/footnote]?!

 

[Something Amyss]

Whereas videogaming has proven to cause social, ethical and health problems in people of all ages,

[citation needed]

Whereas sexual perversion and homosexuality are threatening to destroy the Christian foundations on which this nation was built,

A nation founded by drug dealers, slave owners, pirates, and men who routinely whored. Frequently with slaves. YOU'RE RUINING THE GOOD CHRISTIAN MORALITY THIS NATION WAS FOUNDED ONE!

Whereas a new video game has just been created that far exceeds any others in the psychological and spiritual damage it does to teens,

Based on....

1) To enact an immediate ban on the videogame known as "SkyRim" produced by Blizzard Entertainment.

Good rule of thumb is to know what you're banning.

2) To seize and destroy all copies already in public hands and erase its presence on the internet.

Unconstitutional. on top of not knowing your target, you don't know your governing doctrine.

3) To prosecute the players of "SkyRim" to the fullest extent of the law.

For what?

4) To create a national database of videogame avatars and "screen names" so that teenagers can be better monitored.

I wonder how many of these people are the same people who beliee the Government wants to track gun owners/Christians for the upcoming eradication.

 

[Robert Ewing]

I like the fact that it's under 'civil rights and liberties.'

Their entire ethic seems to be to make America a seething Christian gloom country, in which it's entire populace are made to be constantly visiting the obsidian cathedral to pay respect, and give your eternal thanks for the wondrous existence you have to the almighty one, lest you be taken away by 'the authority.' Your leisure time will be spent making hate propaganda against Muslims and Jews, and sculpting divine crosses from the bones of the golden eagle to be displayed in every room of your residence, lest you be taken away by 'the authority.' If you swear, attempt to have sexual intercourse with another human being, think differently, act weird, or are a communist you will receive just and righteous punishment by 'the authority.' If you attempt to gain any information, or outright overthrow said authority, this will be seriously condemned and punishable by crucifiction, courtesy of 'the authority.'

Wow, that's actually a pretty good story. Why couldn't I apply myself like this at school?

 

[triggrhappy94]

The way they spell "SkyRIM" makes me think of rim jobs, so...

 

[midknight129]

I bet Notch has something to do with this... always ripping off Blizzard's work ^-^

How long till this becomes an Onion News Update?

 

[Kopikatsu]

Their entire ethic seems to be to make America a seething Christian gloom country, in which it's entire populace are made to be constantly visiting the obsidian cathedral to pay respect, and give your eternal thanks for the wondrous existence you have to the almighty one, lest you be taken away by 'the authority.' Your leisure time will be spent making hate propaganda against Muslims and Jews, and sculpting divine crosses from the bones of the golden eagle to be displayed in every room of your residence, lest you be taken away by 'the authority.' If you swear, attempt to have sexual intercourse with another human being, think differently, act weird, or are a communist you will receive just and righteous punishment by 'the authority.' If you attempt to gain any information, or outright overthrow said authority, this will be seriously condemned and punishable by crucifiction, courtesy of 'the authority.'

Wow! It's like you actually live in America!

Except you don't. Because if you did, you'd also know that the main requirement to be our President/Pope/Prophet/Temp-Messiah is that you have to suffer from Stigmata.

 

[aprildog18]

Trolling. Definetly trolling.

Or.... or fucking something.

I don't even know anymore. But if you want a laugh, check the number of signatures needed and then compare it to the number of signatures racked up. Then look at the names of about a third of the people who signed it.

Oh, internet satire. So misunderstood.

I remember how many people were trolled by the article this was based on.

Out of interest, which article would that be?

http://christwire.org/2011/11/is-skyrim-teaching-your-children-how-to-perform-rim-jobs-and-other-homo-erotic-sex-maneuvers/

enjoy.

I urge you to read the comments too.

 

[Pirakahunter788]

Trolling. Definetly trolling.

Or.... or fucking something.

I don't even know anymore. But if you want a laugh, check the number of signatures needed and then compare it to the number of signatures racked up. Then look at the names of about a third of the people who signed it.

Oh, internet satire. So misunderstood.

I remember how many people were trolled by the article this was based on.

Out of interest, which article would that be?

http://christwire.org/2011/11/is-skyrim-teaching-your-children-how-to-perform-rim-jobs-and-other-homo-erotic-sex-maneuvers/

enjoy.

I knew it! The moment I saw them say Blizzard, I figured they were basing off of the satire version from Christwire. This is just.. wow.

 

[Kopikatsu]

Trolling. Definetly trolling.

Or.... or fucking something.

I don't even know anymore. But if you want a laugh, check the number of signatures needed and then compare it to the number of signatures racked up. Then look at the names of about a third of the people who signed it.

Oh, internet satire. So misunderstood.

I remember how many people were trolled by the article this was based on.

Out of interest, which article would that be?

1) To enact an immediate ban on the videogame known as "SkyRim" produced by Blizzard Entertainment.

Bfft... He.. Hehe... HA HA! HA HA HAAAAAA!

SO FUNNY!

Oh my god, that's great! I love that the Dovahkiin would ban his own game!

Also, To our government,

Spoiler

It's good to know the trolls of america are hard at work.

What has your government got to do with this?

Adding to the other guy, here is Christwire's SkyRim review: http://christwire.org/2011/11/christwire-game-review-the-elder-scrolls-skyrim/

OT: ADD THIS TO THE OP. FOR GREAT JUSTICE. http://christwire.org/2011/11/urgent-sign-the-white-house-ban-on-the-dangerous-video-game-skyrim/

 

[DarkRyter]

Via Eurogamer [http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2011-11-25-man-petitions-obama-to-destroy-all-copies-of-skyrim], this:
https://wwws.whitehouse.gov/petitions/!/petition/immediately-ban-deadly-videogame-known-skyrim-safety-americas-youths/YmY1bLQ5

Immediately Ban the Deadly Videogame Known as "SkyRim" for The Safety of America's Youths.
Whereas videogaming has proven to cause social, ethical and health problems in people of all ages,

Whereas sexual perversion and homosexuality are threatening to destroy the Christian foundations on which this nation was built,

Whereas a new video game has just been created that far exceeds any others in the psychological and spiritual damage it does to teens,

We, the American people, today ask you,

1) To enact an immediate ban on the videogame known as "SkyRim" produced by Blizzard Entertainment.

2) To seize and destroy all copies already in public hands and erase its presence on the internet.

3) To prosecute the players of "SkyRim" to the fullest extent of the law.

4) To create a national database of videogame avatars and "screen names" so that teenagers can be better monitored.

The joke has gone over your head, so I will explain it to you.

This petition is ingenuine and is meant to be a parody of similiar, less exaggerated movements.

 

[Twilight_guy]

This joke was almost funny. Unfortunately it didn't quiet make it and as a result I have no joy for this thread. Good bye.

 

[RN7]

Epic trollface is highly epic. I think this one deserves a reward, boys.

*insert funny picture here*

 

[Saltyk]

Okay, that's kinda funny. Or sad. Whichever comes first.

There's just one part that stands out to me.

3) To prosecute the players of "SkyRim" to the fullest extent of the law.

To the fullest extent of what law? For what? Ignoring bathing standards because they play it too much? Incredibly vague and stupid.

Anyway, I'd bet money that this was done as a joke and it never amasses even a fraction of the required signatures. It has 70/25,000 when I clicked the link. I'd be surprised if it hit 250 before the deadline.

 

[Solo-Wing]

Any petition that manages to attract more than 25,000 signatures from the American public within 30 days of publication will garner an official response from the administration.

Yeah I see this going nowhere.

Also. FUCKING HILARIOUS.