Tales from the unmuted mic.

[Jack Joe Tip Toe]

So I was in the middle of a GTA race when someone yells "BUBBA DOKN'T DRINK MY PISS!"

And last week I heard what sounded like child abuse. And the time on RSV2 when two people decided to have a BDSM session on the mic.

So what weird things have you heard through a mic or a phone?

 

[The Madman]

I've always felt bad about the time I was talking shit to my friend about how piss poor another player was only to realize I had my mic on the entire time and they along with a dozen or so others could hear every word. I only found out when someone sent me a message saying my mic was on... talk about awkward.

This was a few years ago, around 2007 back when I still played World of Warcraft and was in an active if smaller raiding guild. I played a healer, restoration druid to be precise, and in my defense it's practically a healers job to ***** endlessly about shitty players who can't keep themselves out of the way of the most basic of attacks, which this particular player definitely couldn't.

Still though they didn't deserve that... I do feel bad about it and try to keep any frustrations to myself nowadays, especially if there's a potentially active mic anywhere near my vicinity.

 

[The Wykydtron]

Well there was the Toast Incident... Jake I swear if you see this thread don't you dare.

All my unmuted mic moments have something to do with my mother funnily enough. We frequently have a back and forth over everything and nothing and apparently I inherited her stubbornness so they last forever.

Must mute the fucking Skype call ASAP

 

[Jack Joe Tip Toe]

Here's another one. "MOMMY! THIS FUCKER CALLED ME A WANKA AND I WANNA PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE! MOMMY! WAIT, PLEASE I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY FUCK! *child abuse noises*

 

[AnthrSolidSnake]

I was playing a game of Black Ops with a friend, who brought his friend, who brought HIS friend. This last friend I mentioned said, "Be right back guys. I'll still play, but I have a phone call" and attempted to mute his mic. Little did he know, he didn't. Not even two minutes later, we all hear him ask his girlfriend for a blowjob, and we all tried shouting at him what he was doing, for our entire team to hear, friends or not, but he apparently set aside his headset. the person who invited him to the match had to call and tell him what was going on. Never played another game with that guy since...

 

[Someone Depressing]

"MOM, THIS SHITHEAD CALLED ME A LITTLE PRICK"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP -I respect his privacy-, OR I'M GOING TO GET -father or something- TO HIT YOU, YOU LITTLE BRAT!"

"MOMMY, I-"

"LEAVE YOUR MOTHER ALONE!"

*smashing noises, followed by who I think was the father or something screaming, followed by the mother panicking*

-x has left the game-

To this day, I'm just going to assume the little bastard shit himself using all of his prostate's power that he gained the power of fecal-flight. I still believe that to this day.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

I don't really have a story of my own, but this was one of the more entertaining ones I ever heard.


Best I ever heard was mistells in chat leading to some intriguing drama.

 

[Treeinthewoods]

I was playing Mass Effect 3 Multiplayer and learned my mic was on because some random people started laughing at me while I was lecturing my daughter about how she is big enough to wipe herself now.

Fun times...

 

[Catfood220]

I use the same username on my PS3 as I do on here. I was playing Street Fighter 4 and getting my arse handed to me as usual. All the while the other people were making meowing noises at me. I thought that was quite amusing.

Other than that, random abuse and people playing their shit music. I usually just mute all if I ever play online.

 

[Headsprouter]

I don't really have a story of my own, but this was one of the more entertaining ones I ever heard.


Best I ever heard was mistells in chat leading to some intriguing drama.

Ah, beat me to it. The best part is how it's subtitled. "GRAHGH83J4KSLF". Couldn't have put it better myself.

And the ridiculous drama about "separating a family" and "damaging yourself".

THis one time I was in a L4D game with a Scottish guy with serious anger problems. He was a friendly enough guy at first when I was speaking to him casually, but it got a bit scary when he started failing as the Infected. It came to a head when he was chasing after this guy as a Jockey, died and instantly transformed into some kind of banshee. Terrifying.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Another good candid moment, this one from the hilarious documentary "The King of Kong". If you've not seen it, I cannot recommend it highly enough.

Ah, beat me to it. The best part is how it's subtitled. "GRAHGH83J4KSLF". Couldn't have put it better myself.

Yeah, the subtitles are gold.

And while the family, particularly the father (the mother's reaction is pretty much spot on) is needlessly dramatic, the kid is having such an obvious melt down that some kind of intervention is clearly required.

 

[Kevlar Eater]

This was from a long time ago, when Call of Duty 4 was *the* game to have and play. This dude, for some strange reason, started blathering on about his fetish for women's feet. Some of the other players were laughing and asking the fetishist questions about the things he's done or was willing to do with women's feet, and his answers were blunt and exquisite (much to the audible disgust of the only female on our team).

 

[Dethenger]

It wasn't exactly an example of unmuted mic, as the two gentlemen in question were engaged in conversation, but the funniest thing I heard over the mic was back in the Halo 3 days, I think around the time the Mythic Map Pack was released. This one dude idly mentioned he'd be right back because his pizza rolls just got out of the microwave, and some other dude was astonished that anyone would put pizza rolls in the microwave as opposed to the oven.

They must've argued about it for thirty minutes, and honestly the funniest thing wasn't the topic itself, but rather how well they each argued their point. It was almost enough to make you forget how stupid the entire thing was.

 

[Voulan]

The only time I've ever experienced the awkward unmuted mic was when one guy answered his phone and had a conversation with his mum and argued with her. I can't remember what it was about though.

For a slightly more interesting story, I overheard a funny conversation between two players while playing BL2. Both were clearly very young. So, they were chatting away and then one asks to add him as a friend. The other kid agrees, but the first kid asks, "does your mummy let you add anyone without asking?" Turns out he was only seven. The second kid then said, "dude, I'm TEN, I can do what I want." I couldn't help but cry with laughter and say, "ohh, we've got ourselves a badass over here!" I wasn't on the mic though so it was fine.

Honestly, the amount of young children playing online these days is mind boggling.

 

[Fijiman]

Oh the stories I could tell about the crazy random crap I've heard over the years, if only I could remember half of them. Seriously I've heard and been part of some pretty crazy conversations in the past, but I can't remember but parts of even the most recent events mostly due to how long it's been since the last time I played online multiplayer and partially due to the headache I have at the moment.

 

[Clowndoe]

"Goddamit, you got soap on my shoes."

Many "WTF?" were heard after that. To this day I never got an answer to what was going on.

 

[Lrbearclaw]

Short story long:

Raiding on EQ1 on Ventrillo with the guild. While I am keyed up and talking, and I pause listening only to realize two things.

A: My sister and her husband were having sex in the next room.
And secondly, everyone on Vent could hear it too.


Made it fun the next night when she popped her head in to tell me something and one of our friends asked her if she enjoyed her night.