Tali'Zorah is 9 days old: An update and a story on fatherhood

[DrunkOnEstus]

snap

Well, i might be a tad impetous here. But i'm assuming you weren't aware that this would happen when you had offspring? You as a person is going to get a bit sidelined,you desires, wants, needs, are gonna be put on the side for a bit. And the "kid" prioritized.

Then again, with no kids on my own, who am i to tell you what to expect.

Anyways, 'gratz and good fer 'cha with the no-smoke. Try to quit as fast as possible. It does guarantee more years with your kid and family.

Oh I was aware, but before it was only postulation in my mind as far as how it would be. Really living it is what I'm talking about. I'll get more skilled at ironing out "me time" without ignoring Tali and her needs, I'm here quoting these responses after all while she sleeps away (during the day, meaning she'll be up all night fuck fuck : ) )

Congratulations on becoming a dad. Now that's out of the way, you've made a massive mistake. This whole thing just comes across as selfish to me. You're not thinking of your daughter's future well-being, you're just appeasing your own hobbies through her, which is... kinda despicable.

I just hope she doesn't grow up to resent you over this. Good luck.

We'll see. I can't see the future, so I can't definitely say you're wrong. All I can say is that I'd do anything to minimize her pain, and that if I thought her name would be a source of pain it wouldn't be her name. In my defense, it's only related to hobbies in that she shares a name with a fictional character. I assure you that my line of thinking wasn't "hurr durr I love vidyagames so let's name the babies after the vidyagames because they're awesome and people will know I love vidyagames". Were that the case, I'd have a videogame tattoo somewhere on me, a permanent dedication to the hobby that I haven't brought myself to go through yet. Thanks for the congratulations either way.

And at least you didn't name her Dovahkiin to get free stuff.

I can maybe get on board with someone deciding to name their kid "Dovahkiin" because they wanted to, which in turn led to free stuff...but did they really choose that name in order to receive free stuff? That's not something I could live with. Your child and their well being is worth so much more than all of the world's supply of video game stuff. On that note, Bioware has offered me nothing but a congratulations and good wishes.

Don't worry yourself man, I know what a bad father is, and you are nothing like that.

Best of luck to you, and to Tali!

Thanks Akichi. When I say that some of the people on the Escapist have become friends of mine, you're certainly one of them. Thanks for the support, friend.

I don't get the logic behind the whole "kids will bully other kids anyway so let's just give them one more reason to bully our kid," argument. I mean sure kids really will find any reason to bully other kids but the point is that you minimize the probability of that happening and don't increase it. That's like saying "Sure you're going to get shot at in a warzone anyway so walking into the open whilst waving your arms about isn't going to make any difference," a bit of an exaggeration but you get the point....

On that note, I don't understand the line of thinking that goes "kids will always bully other kids no matter what, so let's make everything as normal as possible, fit into every cultural standard, and not allow her to do anything weird; because bullying is the worst thing in the world and we must give in to it and change our lives in order to hide from it and remain out of the crossfire". I hope I raise her to be strong enough to filter out the haters and be proud of who she is inside, despite what noise she hears in the future.

So you decided to ignore all the people who said that you could easily name her Tali Zorah Surname, and decided to give her a stupid sounding, difficult to spell, apostrophe having name instead. Congratulations, you've just made your daughter's entire life more difficult because you and your wife are so uncompromising in your fandom of a series of letters that you couldn't split the name apart.

Bullying, difficulty getting a job, having to spell her name with an apostrophe, having to reassure everyone that yes, that is her real name, and finally, having to explain that her name comes from an alien you can have sex with and find porn of on the internet all await your cute daughter. I hope she has a happy childhood and doesn't have problems because of the name, I truly do, but I doubt that'll be the case and you'll be the one who has to deal with the fact that it's your fault.

You don't know that for sure, just as I don't know for sure that you're wrong. I'm her father, I'm prepared to deal with a mountain of consequences from both mine and her actions. I'll say it again, it wouldn't be her name if I (keyword I) thought for a second that it would harm her. But I'm not normal. Faaaar from it. Maybe I'm too abnormal that it affects my ability to foresee these huge problems that you and people of your mind seem to see, but I just don't see a problem. Either way, I respect your opinion and the fact that you care about a total stranger enough to spend your time trying to help her.

(Side note: A little over one hour was spent changing a diaper, comforting her, and doing a feeding during these quote responses. Even talking on a forum becomes precious free time)

 

[DrunkOnEstus]

]

What evidence? We just have a statment - From himself...


We don't know if he really called his daughter Tali'Zorah - we don't even know if he has a daughter.

And what if his daughter is actually a member of the Illuminati? What if life's all just a dream and we're about to wake up? How do we know if our names are, like, really OUR names!? WHO AM I!!?

OT: Congratulations on being a dad! Glad to hear that Tali's doing well.

I laughed at that far more than I should have. And I never got a chance to say so in the last thread, but thank you for coming around to seeing me as a person and being constructive and respectful in your criticism of her name. I sincerely felt better about even hearing criticism given the way you altered it and apologized. So thanks. Also, this is actually the Matrix. The Illuminati invented the robots that harvest our electricity, and you're all named Tali'Zorah to the robots : )

SNIP

I just want to share a couple thoughts. First, parents have every right in the US to name their kids what they want, no matter how silly someone else thinks it is. Second, Tali'Zorah may present some difficulties in computer databases and other such things in the future, but it's hardly something as unusual (aka stupid) as naming your kid "Abcde". Tali'Zorah is beautiful, if unfamiliar for many people. Third, congrats on the kiddo. She looks amazing. I've got a 3 year old boy and 5 month old girl of my own and fatherhood is seriously the greatest thing I've done with my life outside of being a husband. You may sometimes miss your time with games, old friends that you don't see as often, etc. but watching your child smile, crawl, walk, and speak are some of the greatest parts of life. If you ever need someone to commiserate with about daddy-hood, just send me a PM.

Thanks for the friend request and the kind words, as well as the offer of a listener. Likewise, feel free to hit me up if you want to chat about your kids, I get the impression that the average Escapist member is a bit young to really care about babies and I might be sharing with a group who's terrified of babies at this point in their lives, so I appreciate your offer. Hopefully we talk soon.

Congratulations man! She's cute!
Of course it's hard to judge from forum posts, but it sounds like you're a great dad.
As for anyone complaining about the names... how is it any different from giving your child a name you read in a book? in 12 years, I doubt anyone in high school at that point will know what Mass Effect is, so I don't think that'll be an issue. and honestly, I like the name.

Thanks, I appreciate it. Yeah, that's the way I see it, at some point in history someone named their kid Kyle and got confused stares, or Darlene or Shaniqua. I don't even know if my daughter is the first Tali'Zorah, but it's likely that's true. If so, it all comes with the territory.

While I may not view having my child be named after a videogame character as a good idea as long as you do everything ing your power to raise your child well, love them, support them, and protect them, then you have done more than millions of other dead beat dads or workalholics have ever done for their children. I wish best of luck with your child and hope you all have a good life, but if she decides to want her name changed later or is constantly getting picked on at school because of her name since we know children can be cruel to others please support her decision to change it if that possibility ever comes. Honestly hope that above doesn't happen and she has no trouble, but knowing people you are going to have some one act cruel because of something as simple as a name.

My name is Adam, and middle school was hell before I was big enough to slam heads in locker doors and put a stop to it. I love my daughter to death, and I intend on supporting a whole lot of decisions. If she wants to dye her hair blue, I'll support her. If she's a lesbian, then I hope she can come to me and not keep it a secret and feel bad about it. If she wants to become a man...you get the picture. I'll be right there for her if she decides she doesn't love her name as much as I do.

Oh my god she is so cuteeeeeeeeeee *intense squealy voice*

We're so happy to see you happy! Also, i'm sure you're an amazing father to little Tali :3 Great you dropped smoking;for your health and hers!

Also, poo to all the grumps! They should get their little butts out of this thread then.

We here are all so happy for you!!

Thanks so much! That was such an enthusiastic and supportive post that I just had to call you out to thank you so much for your kind words.

Snip

I appreciate it, and thanks. You too are awesome, though I'm afraid I have no dog at the moment to let you know that : )

 

[default]

Congratulations my friend, best of luck to you guys and little Tali!

And well done for quitting smoking like that, proud of you man.

 

[Zeraki]

I thought the name was a bad idea, but holy crap people are being complete assholes in this thread. Guys it's over, the kid is named, move on with your lives.

I remember when the Escapist had a good reputation because of the community, now it's mostly mocked because of it.

Regardless, congratulations and best of luck and health to you and your family Estus.

 

[VanTesla]

]

What evidence? We just have a statment - From himself...


We don't know if he really called his daughter Tali'Zorah - we don't even know if he has a daughter.

And what if his daughter is actually a member of the Illuminati? What if life's all just a dream and we're about to wake up? How do we know if our names are, like, really OUR names!? WHO AM I!!?

OT: Congratulations on being a dad! Glad to hear that Tali's doing well.

I laughed at that far more than I should have. And I never got a chance to say so in the last thread, but thank you for coming around to seeing me as a person and being constructive and respectful in your criticism of her name. I sincerely felt better about even hearing criticism given the way you altered it and apologized. So thanks. Also, this is actually the Matrix. The Illuminati invented the robots that harvest our electricity, and you're all named Tali'Zorah to the robots : )

SNIP

I just want to share a couple thoughts. First, parents have every right in the US to name their kids what they want, no matter how silly someone else thinks it is. Second, Tali'Zorah may present some difficulties in computer databases and other such things in the future, but it's hardly something as unusual (aka stupid) as naming your kid "Abcde". Tali'Zorah is beautiful, if unfamiliar for many people. Third, congrats on the kiddo. She looks amazing. I've got a 3 year old boy and 5 month old girl of my own and fatherhood is seriously the greatest thing I've done with my life outside of being a husband. You may sometimes miss your time with games, old friends that you don't see as often, etc. but watching your child smile, crawl, walk, and speak are some of the greatest parts of life. If you ever need someone to commiserate with about daddy-hood, just send me a PM.

Thanks for the friend request and the kind words, as well as the offer of a listener. Likewise, feel free to hit me up if you want to chat about your kids, I get the impression that the average Escapist member is a bit young to really care about babies and I might be sharing with a group who's terrified of babies at this point in their lives, so I appreciate your offer. Hopefully we talk soon.

Congratulations man! She's cute!
Of course it's hard to judge from forum posts, but it sounds like you're a great dad.
As for anyone complaining about the names... how is it any different from giving your child a name you read in a book? in 12 years, I doubt anyone in high school at that point will know what Mass Effect is, so I don't think that'll be an issue. and honestly, I like the name.

Thanks, I appreciate it. Yeah, that's the way I see it, at some point in history someone named their kid Kyle and got confused stares, or Darlene or Shaniqua. I don't even know if my daughter is the first Tali'Zorah, but it's likely that's true. If so, it all comes with the territory.

While I may not view having my child be named after a videogame character as a good idea as long as you do everything ing your power to raise your child well, love them, support them, and protect them, then you have done more than millions of other dead beat dads or workalholics have ever done for their children. I wish best of luck with your child and hope you all have a good life, but if she decides to want her name changed later or is constantly getting picked on at school because of her name since we know children can be cruel to others please support her decision to change it if that possibility ever comes. Honestly hope that above doesn't happen and she has no trouble, but knowing people you are going to have some one act cruel because of something as simple as a name.

My name is Adam, and middle school was hell before I was big enough to slam heads in locker doors and put a stop to it. I love my daughter to death, and I intend on supporting a whole lot of decisions. If she wants to dye her hair blue, I'll support her. If she's a lesbian, then I hope she can come to me and not keep it a secret and feel bad about it. If she wants to become a man...you get the picture. I'll be right there for her if she decides she doesn't love her name as much as I do.

Oh my god she is so cuteeeeeeeeeee *intense squealy voice*

We're so happy to see you happy! Also, i'm sure you're an amazing father to little Tali :3 Great you dropped smoking;for your health and hers!

Also, poo to all the grumps! They should get their little butts out of this thread then.

We here are all so happy for you!!

Thanks so much! That was such an enthusiastic and supportive post that I just had to call you out to thank you so much for your kind words.

Snip

I appreciate it, and thanks. You too are awesome, though I'm afraid I have no dog at the moment to let you know that : )

As long as you are there for her unless say something tragic strikes, then you are infinitely better than my father ever was and most fathers of people I know. So just keep that up and I wish you and her and everyone else the best.

 

[Jamieson 90]

I don't get the logic behind the whole "kids will bully other kids anyway so let's just give them one more reason to bully our kid," argument. I mean sure kids really will find any reason to bully other kids but the point is that you minimize the probability of that happening and don't increase it. That's like saying "Sure you're going to get shot at in a warzone anyway so walking into the open whilst waving your arms about isn't going to make any difference," a bit of an exaggeration but you get the point....

On that note, I don't understand the line of thinking that goes "kids will always bully other kids no matter what, so let's make everything as normal as possible, fit into every cultural standard, and not allow her to do anything weird; because bullying is the worst thing in the world and we must give in to it and change our lives in order to hide from it and remain out of the crossfire". I hope I raise her to be strong enough to filter out the haters and be proud of who she is inside, despite what noise she hears in the future.

It's called choosing your battles; no one person or even a family can fight the tidal wave that is an entire society, its far too big and your far too small, sure you can stand out and fight on certain issues, and I think people should, but you really can't spend the entirety of your life fighting social norms etc, it's too much, it'll wear you down, and yes in an ideal world we should be able to call our kids whatever we want without fear of reproach, but that's a naive view to take. Anyway it's done now, congratulations too.

 

[Teoes]

I still think that just because you like how something sounds doesn't make it fit for a human being to live with it. I like Chewbacca. Would I name my kid Chewbacca McCoy?

I'm going to be seriously pissed at you, person I've never met and will likely never meet, if I don't hear of you naming your firstborn Chewbacca McCoy.

Congrats to OP, wish the new family happiness. The name is none of my business.

 

[CloudAtlas]

Well, I still don't think it was a good idea, but the deed is done, so all the best to you and your child.

You and I may still disagree about her name, but I sincerely appreciate the fact that you cared about a stranger enough to expel the effort you did. Also, for being levelheaded and respectful in your disagreement. Thank you, and I wish you well.

No thanks necessary. I too was a bit harsh, but whatever might or might not have gone through your head when you made this decision, it is obvious that you care deeply about your daughter, and that is what matters now. You even quit smoking for her, and that will make a big difference for her (and for you, of course) with certainty.

Oh, and those accusation that you'd be doing it just for 15 minutes of internet fame, I believe that really went too far, that was not fair.

 

[McElroy]

It was good for a few laughs, I guess. By the way that name wouldn't fly here. They'd make one name their daughter something else (Tali'Zorah sounds like "talisora" which translates to "tallow gravel", and much simpler names get rejected all the time). And now I can't play Mass Effect without thinking of that baby whose name is Tali'Zorah and the dad who wanted to ask if he and mum were crazy.

A story to tell my kids if I ever get those.

 

[CloudAtlas]

And now I can't play Mass Effect without thinking of that baby whose name is Tali'Zorah and the dad who wanted to ask if he and mum were crazy.

Well, you might have to look for a different love interest now!

 

[Dark Knifer]

There is a lot of people who are criticising this name but naming it after a hobby or something they like is rather common, even throughout history. Hell, how many kids are named Muhammad after all. Or named after celebrities, or people from the bible or other texts. I don't see it being much better then what names have been throughout history. I was named after my mums car after all.

And if you are worried about the bullying, don't worry. Kids are bastards and they will bully anyone they see fit, cowering in fear if goddamn children is kind of stupid.

How else are you to name a child? Just something asinine like "I liked the sound of it"

I'm not even a huge fan of the name but each to their own, a names not going to make you or ruin you unless you get named hitler.

[sub][sub]Better then Khaleesi. That's not a name, its a goddamn title[/sub][/sub]

 

[chinangel]

so when does she get her first atmospheric suit?

 

[Kiirya]

Look I joined this site just to tell you, that you arent alone in naming your baby after something or someone from somewhere or something. (Whoa say that ten times fast.) And especially not Mass Effect. Me and my husband gave our son the middle name "Solus" After my favorite scientist salarian. I argued with the first name (I wanted it to be Mordin, cuz duh, awesome bad ass alien mad scientist?) But hubby won that one. (He named him "Rowan" after Mr. Bean AKA Rowan Atkinson.) But I still got my honorary mention! You know the adage "The only point of a middle name is for kids to know they're in trouble." ? Yea well... my kid is going to think he's in trouble a lot.

"Rowan Solus!"
"What, what I do?"
"Oh nothing. Go play."
"...okaaaay..."

Anyway rock on with the name!

 

[Olas]

My opinion of the name hasn't changed, but it's good to hear people are accepting of it and I wish you the best.

Just please don't name your son Urdnot'Wrex.

 

[Supernova1138]

My opinion of the name hasn't changed, but it's good to hear people are accepting of it and I wish you the best.

Just please don't name your son Urdnot'Wrex.

Nah, the son would probably be called Zal'koris vas Qwib Qwib.

 

[Voulan]

You know, when I first read your thread just before she was born about how you were having misgivings about calling her Tali'Zorah, I was one of those people urging you to shorten it to either just Tali or even Zorah. But reading your post and seeing the pictures, it's actually grown on me. It is a beautiful name, and while some kids later on in life might give her a bit of grief about it, for now it seems just right. All the best to the new family!

And at least you can get back into gaming when she gets older. You'll get to play with her, which is something to look forward to. I get along best with my sister and my parents when we're playing games together.

 

[Ed130 The Vanguard]

My opinion of the name hasn't changed, but it's good to hear people are accepting of it and I wish you the best.

Just please don't name your son Urdnot'Wrex.

Dropping the Urdnot (which is a clan name anyway) and leaving Wrex wouldn't be that bad.

Keep up that positive attitude DrunkOnEstus! You'll need it when the newness factor wears off and little Tali still isn't sleeping through the night.