Teaching kids about homosexuality

[The Hairminator]

is it going to hurt you to use the word gay or homosexual? while i dont find queer offensive most gay people do or (like me) find it uncomfortable

Really now? If that's the case I'll most certainly stop using it.

The thing is that in Sweden where I live, that's what they call themselves. I think this is probably a less sensitive thing in Sweden, since homosexual guys are called 'bögar' which would translate 'faggots' but without the hostile undertone. Heck, black people are commonly referred to as 'Negrer' (I'm sure you can translate that).
And no one is offended.

I guess we just don't see words that aren't insults in themselves as insulting- Though I guess I'm silly for trying to implement that on the rest of the world.

 

[spartandude]

-snip-

I'm kinda just responding to your posts in general. That makes me so unique, roight? I know a dozen of people quoted you, but in your most recent point you seemed unchanged about something. If several people have already taken you up on this and you responded but I missed it, feel free to fill me in on my ignorance...

But I really don't see what makes you think that telling people about homosexuality encourages it. I also don't see what's wrong with "encouraging" it anymore than heterosexuality is "encouraged". I am a fairly resolute atheist, but I am not going to raise my kids atheist. I shall tell them about Religions, how they work, how the most commonplace ones work, and let them research and make their own decision. Shouldn't they decide what's wrong or right for themselves?

But I digress. My point is, how on earth could knowing about homosexuality encourage it? It is true that studies have shown that more or less every adolescent, though it is slightly more common in males, go through a period of their lives in which they are unsure of their sexuality, however short or significant that period is. However, that is an enriching experience nonetheless, as it promotes understanding of yourself. And whilst learning about new concepts may bring it on quicker, there is no avoiding such a big question about yourself.

I continue to digress. All of that aside, it is still ludicrous to assume that homosexuality can be influenced by learning about it. By god, you can attend a YMCA or Gay Bar every day for the rest of your life, expose your midriff for all to see and throw yourself over the opposite gender (or engage in any other stereotypes) but it won't change the fact that you are homosexual, if you are. No more so than hanging around tall people will make you tall. You can put on the pinstripe soot and wear platform shoes, but really you can't kid yourself.

All that learning will encourage is acceptance of other people, not assimilation. And you yourself seem to have stated that you promote acceptance of others, whether you agree with it or not, no?

can i please give you a hug?

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Do you escapists think that children should be told about homosexuality and homosexual relationships at the same time as they're learning about straight relationships?

Yes. So long as people consider heterosexual relationships the "norm" there will be irrational stupidity and hatred towards the gay, bisexual, transgender, etc individuals.

I am bisexual - when I teach my child about sex, I will not differenciate between homosexual and heterosexual. When you are in love with someone, you may decide to have sex with them. Men have these parts, women have these parts. They can be combined in any number of ways, so that no matter who you love, you can express it physically.

Seeing the amount of bigotry and ignorance (both intentional and accidental) that this forum has produced, I am more convinced than ever that this is how to best raise my child.

 

[spartandude]

is it going to hurt you to use the word gay or homosexual? while i dont find queer offensive most gay people do or (like me) find it uncomfortable

Really now? If that's the case I'll most certainly stop using it.

The thing is that in Sweden where I live, that's what they call themselves. I think this is probably a less sensitive thing in Sweden, since homosexual guys are called 'bögar' which would translate 'faggots' but without the hostile undertone. Heck, black people are commonly referred to as 'Negrer' (I'm sure you can translate that).
And no one is offended.

I guess we just don't see words that aren't insults in themselves as insulting- Though I guess I'm silly for trying to implement that on the rest of the world.

ph, in that case i can understand what your saying then. obviously your speaking from a swedish point of view which seems to be alot more accepting than my UK view, thumbs up to the swedish!

 

[spartandude]

Do you escapists think that children should be told about homosexuality and homosexual relationships at the same time as they're learning about straight relationships?

Yes. So long as people consider heterosexual relationships the "norm" there will be irrational stupidity and hatred towards the gay, bisexual, transgender, etc individuals.

I am bisexual - when I teach my child about sex, I will not differenciate between homosexual and heterosexual. When you are in love with someone, you may decide to have sex with them. Men have these parts, women have these parts. They can be combined in any number of ways, so that no matter who you love, you can express it physically.

Seeing the amount of bigotry and ignorance (both intentional and accidental) that this forum has produced, I am more convinced than ever that this is how to best raise my child.

I love how some people here are really intelligent.

 

[the Dept of Science]

The only thing that I would say is that this approach may lead to misunderstanding what homosexuality means in kids. When you are 7, you don't feel any sexual attraction to other people, so can't really understand it as a concept or its importance in relation to sex. Or more simply, you don't see the difference between love and friendship. I remember when I was quite young (thinking about it, probably about 7), I had homosexuality explained to me in very basic terms. I thought that I was gay, because at 7 I had very little interest in girls. I even kissed a boy because I didn't really understand what it all meant. It's slightly embarrassing in retrospect but I can't say it affected me that much.

Now, I'm not saying that this is a reason that kids shouldn't be taught about homosexuality, I would however be curious to know how people would get around the confusion.
I personallly wouldn't teach about it at exactly the same time, I'd leave a small gap between them. Thats only because I think the kid would need go get their heads around the basics of relationships first before you start giving them all these different possibilities (homosexuality, bisexuality, asexuality, bi-curiousity) to consider.

 

[bobknowsall]

is it going to hurt you to use the word gay or homosexual? while i dont find queer offensive most gay people do or (like me) find it uncomfortable

Really now? If that's the case I'll most certainly stop using it.

The thing is that in Sweden where I live, that's what they call themselves. I think this is probably a less sensitive thing in Sweden, since homosexual guys are called 'bögar' which would translate 'faggots' but without the hostile undertone. Heck, black people are commonly referred to as 'Negrer' (I'm sure you can translate that).
And no one is offended.

I guess we just don't see words that aren't insults in themselves as insulting- Though I guess I'm silly for trying to implement that on the rest of the world.

ph, in that case i can understand what your saying then. obviously your speaking from a swedish point of view which seems to be alot more accepting than my UK view, thumbs up to the swedish!

Psst... The Swedish point of view isn't all that different...

They've got homophobes and racists over there too. Linguistic quirks don't make a country more accepting.

 

[FernandoV]

Teach children as much as you can and let them do with the information what they please, with gentle nudges in the right direction :3

 

[nekoali]

Just going to point out that homosexuality isn't a viable choice, and the why is because they're all so insecure.

This sentence stood out to me, and I think it is characteristic of a lot of misunderstanding and misinformation. First of all, being homosexual is just as viable a life as being straight. And it is not a choice.

Secondly, gay people are not insecure because they are gay. In fact most openly gay people are very secure in their life. They have to be, since we are still hated a lot. People who are insecure about being gay are that way because of eternal pressure and hatred that they receive. Keep in mind that homophobia and hatred against homosexuals, even violence is still very much a part of every day life. Even in 'safe' areas or around friendly people there is still risk that some random person you meet could take violent exception to the fact that you are holding hands with someone of the same gender, or any other of hundreds or thousands of things that heterosexual people take for granted.

Now if you take a kid, who is already unsure of their sexuality (we all are at some point) and dump them into a toxic environment where being gay is considered not normal and/or wrong and to be mocked or punished.. Well of course that child is going to be insecure about it. Reinforcing the stereotypes that there is 'normal' and 'gay' and the two are separate things just keeps those sorts of negative attitudes and toxic environments going. That's why people need to teach their children early on that being gay is perfectly fine. Even if some people do not approve.

 

[Rascarin]

Just going to point out that homosexuality isn't a viable choice, and the why is because they're all so insecure. In Australia, not sure about other countries, they're pushing for a law. This law means that in schools, between grades three and five, children will be given a multiple choice test. Their sexual preference will be determined by this test, and they will then be segregated and treated differently.

Seriously? Can you cite a source for this? If true, this is... beyond terrible.

 

[spartandude]

Not everyone is born gay, while people most certainly don't CHOOSE to be gay, that doesn't mean it can't develop because of external stimuli.

BULLSHIT.
http://psychcentral.com/news/2008/06/30/genetics-and-environment-shape-sexual-orientation/2522.html

i accept environmental factors cause it but i still dont believe it to be genetic

 

[Legendairy314]

I don't think that a child has to be taught about homosexuality but should be made aware of it. As kids grow up they tend to treat the abnormal with disregard and hatred if others agree that it just isn't something that should be done. Showing a child that it exists and isn't bad at least helps prevent a buildup of homophobia. Doing this won't in turn change a child if you aren't actively encouraging that they become gay themselves but shows that those that are are still human and shouldn't be hated.

 

[101flyboy]

heterosexuality nor homosexuality shouldnt be taught to young children. The mechanics of sex should be clearly talked about and the child should be made sure that they understand how it works. Teaching kids about SEX itself is of course a heterosexual model, but thats incidental because actual procreational sex (which is usually the kid's question "where do babies come from?") is heterosexual. Talking to a nine year (who at that point does not have sexual desires in the same way an adult does) about any sexual orientation during the discussion about how babies are made could be extremely confusing. So i dont think kids should be explicitly taught hetero- or homosexuality. Theyll figure it out once they have the basics

I don't really agree with you, because the fact is, by the time they are..............13, if you essentially teach them nothing, they will be ignorant, and ignorant kids make ignorant decisions, or will be confused and not understand what they are seeing, thinking and feeling. If you are going to bring up the mom+dad=sex=babies, yeah, that's a start. But that can't be the finish either, because that's not really even the basics of the mechanics of sex. That's just saying that people have sex to make babies. There are a lot of other questions kids will ask after this, why do people have sex, what do people do when the have babies. Instead of keeping kids in the dark they need to be taught in responsible ways the realities of things so they will be educated in the future.

 

[101flyboy]

no
theyll learn about it some other way
hell im 14 and i think i might be bi

Which is NOT good. Kids should learn about it from their parents or someone they can trust will give them appropriate advice. I mean, you need to maybe talk to a youth LGBT councilor on the computer, and discuss your feelings. Or join a teen LGBT group. Because just going through your early years not understand who and what you are, will end up negatively in the long run.

 

[The Hairminator]

Psst... The Swedish point of view isn't all that different...

They've got homophobes and racists over there too. Linguistic quirks don't make a country more accepting.

We ARE rather liberal about most things, though. For example, two of our ministers are openly homosexual. We're close to the top on both Social and Gender equality indexes as well.

 

[spartandude]

Psst... The Swedish point of view isn't all that different...

They've got homophobes and racists over there too. Linguistic quirks don't make a country more accepting.

We ARE rather liberal about most things, though. For example, two of our ministers are openly homosexual. We're close to the top on both Social and Gender equality indexes as well.

yh the swedes may have racists and homophobes but the swedes are much more accepting and have a much more eaqual society than any other country i can think of

 

[101flyboy]

I'm going to have to say no. Not that I'm against it, but it seems to me like it would overcomplicate an already complicated explanation. That, and it probably would result in other parents complaining if the information spread through the schools.

It shouldn't be hidden from the children, of course, but the focus should be on the heterosexual side, as it's the most relevant at the time.

EDIT: I mean that in that the question being answered is more likely "where do babies come from?" rather than "who has sex?"

Babies come from sex. You can't separate sex and babies. And it's not complicated to tell kids "some men like men, some women like women." If others complain, tell them that there are bad people out there, but remember to respect everyone and treat people the way you want to be treated. It's not as if gay is all about sex or you have to be completely in depth on the entire situation.

 

[101flyboy]

When dealing with kids it's best to keep things as simple as possible

"Love can occur between a man and a woman, but also between a man and another man or a woman and another women. Only men and women can have children through sex, though but that doesn't mean that the feelings of homosexual are any less real or strange than the ones between heterosexual men and women. People are different, and it's okay to be different because we are all a bit different from eachother in some way or another. So I want you to bear this in mind if you meet a boy who loves other boys instead of loving girls, because even if you might not love boys like he does, he's not any less of a person than you are, just different from you. The same way you are different from him when you like blue shirts more than green shirts.

Love can also occur between a man and an animal, or a woman and an animal, or a man, a woman, an alien and an animal. It's also possible that you have a desire to express your love using cream, other food, whips, poo, tinfoil, handcuffs, rapelay, domination etc. You are free to express your love in any way possible........

Yeah this sounds beautiful...

We teach kids in our society about social norms, we dont tell them about every freakin possibility there is with everything.

Translation: We should teach our kids to be straight, as that is the BEST AND ACCEPTABLE option.

 

[bobknowsall]

Psst... The Swedish point of view isn't all that different...

They've got homophobes and racists over there too. Linguistic quirks don't make a country more accepting.

We ARE rather liberal about most things, though. For example, two of our ministers are openly homosexual. We're close to the top on both Social and Gender equality indexes as well.

And my home country's going to have a gay President. Go figure.

My problem is with the views you're expressing. I'm still waiting for you to support those assertions you made about gender and sexuality.

 

[bobknowsall]

Psst... The Swedish point of view isn't all that different...

They've got homophobes and racists over there too. Linguistic quirks don't make a country more accepting.

We ARE rather liberal about most things, though. For example, two of our ministers are openly homosexual. We're close to the top on both Social and Gender equality indexes as well.

yh the swedes may have racists and homophobes but the swedes are much more accepting and have a much more eaqual society than any other country i can think of

But... My point still stands. The Swedes are also capable of homophobia and racism, despite their commonly-used words having discriminatory undertones.

So we're clear on that.