Teaching kids about homosexuality

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SL33TBL1ND

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Blitzwarp said:
SL33TBL1ND said:
I can see what you mean, but in the edit of the post you quoted, which I put in after you quoted me, I said that usually this talk come from a child asking where babies come from.
Oh duh, trust me to misread a post on my second day on these forums. XD Yeah, if it's just a straight case of where babies come from, then certainly in that discussion it would be wise to just discuss heterosexual sex.

Personally, I'd still probably explain homosexuality in proximity to that talk at a later date, though. From my own experience at school kids pick up on homosexuality quite early on (unless I was just in a really weird area or something - IIRC the first mention of homosexuality I heard at school was in Year Six, aged 11) and can be incredibly biased/abusive towards it. I'd hate for my kid to pick up that negative viewpoint before I had a chance to explain what homosexuality is really all about. :)
Oh I totally agree with you, but as long as you speak to the child at a different time. You don't want the kid thinking you can have babies by stickin' it in the pooper.

JRiseley said:
innocentEX said:
The Hairminator said:
No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

The same goes for the opposite- The kid will learn soon enough, and probably ask her parents about it- then they should tell her, naturally, as unbiased as they can. If she later finds out she is indeed actually queer, it would be better if she does not have any subconscious issues with it inherited from her parents.

But still, they should not be handled equally, as heterosexuality is still the norm- and the natural way to reproduce. If the children are gay, they will probably find it out themselves. The important thing is to then make sure they are neither ashamed or feel otherwise repressed.
I agree with this 100%.

It all comes down to the parent's decisions though, and they chose to have the child so its their burden and their choice on how to act on these matters. And it really isn't anyone else's business
Edit: This was a rant that highlighted the bigotry of the first quoted poster, but I realized that I may have been quite harsh. 1. Don't say queer. It's offensive. 2. PEOPLE ARE BORN GAY SO STOP WORRYING ABOUT A CHILD CATCHING GAY. 3. If you don't explain the mechanics of sexuality to a child before puberty you're psychologically abusing them.
Not everyone is born gay, while people most certainly don't CHOOSE to be gay, that doesn't mean it can't develop because of external stimuli.
 

M Rotter

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heterosexuality nor homosexuality shouldnt be taught to young children. The mechanics of sex should be clearly talked about and the child should be made sure that they understand how it works. Teaching kids about SEX itself is of course a heterosexual model, but thats incidental because actual procreational sex (which is usually the kid's question "where do babies come from?") is heterosexual. Talking to a nine year (who at that point does not have sexual desires in the same way an adult does) about any sexual orientation during the discussion about how babies are made could be extremely confusing. So i dont think kids should be explicitly taught hetero- or homosexuality. Theyll figure it out once they have the basics
 

MikeOfThunder

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LupusDei said:
This is probaly the cause of all homophobes and gay haters in the world, simply because the parents feel that the kid should learn this crap on their own. Lets just teach her the ''Normal'' That way if the she grows up to discover that she may be gay, she has had NO teaching has to what it means, thus feeling isolated and alienated.
You know... I'm quite 'on the fence' about the whole situation, but your comment makes the most sense. I fully agree with you there!
 

DanielDeFig

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My policy towards kids is: don't lie, but sometimes things need to be simplified in order for them to understand. But at the same time, there doesn't seem to be any need to talk about sex and sexuality until they ask (in general, answer questions honestly, but don't go out of your way to tell them about stuff they haven't asked about). Considering this, i think generally, kids will ask about homosexuality significantly later than about sex.

Not talking about it because it's "inappropriate" and/or because ppl who are less open minded might complain is a stupid reason.
 

RaffB

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NameIsRobertPaulson said:
My parents are lesbians, and have always taught me that gay or straight, all that matters is that you are happy with who you are with. Period.
That is the most sensible and intelligent thing i have heard on the internet in a while..

I salute you and your parents my good sir or madam
 

Gahars

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I think it should be taught at the same age heterosexual marriage is taught.

I mean, doing so would alleviate the prejudice that homosexuals already face. Just saying that if someone only one type of relationship is normal, then that makes everyone else come off as weird.

Best way to do it is to teach it now to the child, letting them know that it exists and there's nothing wrong with it, and move on.
 

PurplePlatypus

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Jul 8, 2010
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Of course, hell I?m wondering why it should be left to the point where your teaching the child about sex. I mean shouldn?t children know about various forms of relationships, platonic and romantic before sex comes up?
 

BringBackBuck

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Housebroken Lunatic said:
Snip - not a bad explanation, but you missed out many types of acceptable relationships
Let me have a go:
"Love can occur between a man and a woman, but also between a man and another man or a woman and another women, or between one man and two (or more) women, or one woman and two (or more) men, or between two (or more) men, or two (or more) women. Men who used to be women, or women who used to be men can have sex with men, women, or women who used to be men, men who used to be women, or people who share traits of both women and men, so are neither, (or both).

Only men and women can have children through sex, though but that doesn't mean that the feelings of homosexuality, polyamory, polygamy, asexuality, are any less real or strange than the ones between heterosexual men and women. People are different, and it's okay to be different because we are all a bit different from eachother in some way or another. So I want you to bear this in mind if you meet a boy who loves other boys instead of loving girls, because even if you might not love boys like he does, he's not any less of a person than you are, just different from you. The same way you are different from him when you like blue shirts more than green shirts.

You want others to accept that you like blue shirts and not get teased or made fun of because you do, right? Then it's not hard to understand that a boy who likes boys more than he likes girls would want to be able to like what he likes without getting teased because of it, don't you agree?"

Pretty simple and clear cut explanation and one that a kid at a young age would eat up pretty easily.

So exactly what is it that you fear would "complicate" matters so much?
 

GotMalkAvian

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With children, I think it's possible to teach about homosexuality and leave the sexual parts out. Just a simple "some girls like boys, and some girls like girls" should be sufficient.
I don't know your sister, so I don't mean any offense by this, but it sounds like she's a tad homophobic (or overly concerned with what other people think) and is looking for excuses for her daughter to be ignorant of homosexuality. I mean, we're living in different times, and I think it's a parent's responsibility to give their children as much information as possible once the subject of sexuality has been brought up. For now, a simple explanation is fine, but when her daughter gets older does she intend to not teach her about protection because she's afraid of what her daughter's teachers might think? To me, it's pretty much the same thing; sexuality can be confusing, and partial education can be just as dangerous as no education, sometimes even more so.
 

Terminal Blue

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The Hairminator said:
You would be amazed how many people think they have a sexuality they indeed have not (at least that's what I firmly believe). I feel sorry for people under 18 who claim to be homosexual, as it's more often than not insecurity.
How many of these 'more often than not' cases have you encountered?

Let's cut to the chase shall we. Clearly you have a preconceived model of how sexuality works and you've just made up a fake statistic to justify it. Well done, you get to wear the heterocentric hat.

For my part I know about 6 gay guys and 2 gay women who were quite aware of who they wanted to fuck long before the age of 18. Most are now in their mid/late twenties or early thirties and are still fucking those kind of people.

Moving on.. if kids learn about heterosexual relationships before they learn about homosexual ones, how can we ever claim they're accorded any kind of equal or similar status? You can't just tell someone about one specific way of fucking and then five years later come back and go 'oh yeah, and some people like to do it like this, but you didn't need to know about them until now because they're not relevant to you'. What kind of message does that send to the child?

Also, why focus on reproduction as the only point of sex. Are we really so afraid of just telling kids the truth - that we have sex because it's fun, not to make them an army of little brothers and sisters.
 

LawlessSquirrel

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I'm going to have to say no. Not that I'm against it, but it seems to me like it would overcomplicate an already complicated explanation. That, and it probably would result in other parents complaining if the information spread through the schools.

It shouldn't be hidden from the children, of course, but the focus should be on the heterosexual side, as it's the most relevant at the time.

EDIT: I mean that in that the question being answered is more likely "where do babies come from?" rather than "who has sex?"
 

_Cake_

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"Sometimes two mommies or two daddies fall in love" omg how earth shattering or complex. Although at 7 she might already know from friends, school or tv. What's the hardest question you could get "How do they have babies" "Adopt". Pretty simple it's not like your going to be explaining anal sex and the prostate gland. It's just two people in love.
 

Beliyal

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Jun 7, 2010
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SL33TBL1ND said:
Not everyone is born gay, while people most certainly don't CHOOSE to be gay, that doesn't mean it can't develop because of external stimuli.
Well, I can't really say that "not everyone is born gay" because nobody can confirm that 100%, but does it mean it should be less "okay" if it's a choice? External stimuli that could, hypothetically, induce homosexuality do not have to be "encouraging". It could be a childhood trauma (like rape?) or something completely inane like curiosity. So, is there a possibility that your child will end up being gay if you talk about it (encouraging) or if you never mention it and keep it a taboo (curiosity)?

On the other hand, why should it matter? Will you love your child less? Will he or she be less intelligent or less successful or worse than others? If we ignore the extremely conservative people (that tend to be a bit outdated about the new info in biology and human sexuality (animal sexuality altogether, as there are documented cases of homosexuality among other animals)), why would anyone care if their child is homosexual or heterosexual or bisexual or whatever sexual? Is that truly the only important characteristic and possible potential a human being has?

I say we teach our kids at a young age about these things. They have to hear it as early as possible; at least only the fact that those people exist. The earlier they hear it, the more of a "common fact" it will be to them. Maybe that talk is not entirely connected to actual act of sex and pregnancy, but it is important nonetheless. The older we get, the harder it is to adapt to new things in the world. Ask your grandma about homosexuality and she may not even be able to comprehend that such thing is possible due to the fact that she probably grew up in an environment where such things weren't mentioned (apologies to any "modern" grandmas, my grandma is kinda modern too). Ask a child about it, and they will probably know about it anyway, but it is always better that they learn it from the family. The sooner our kids learn those things at an early stage of life, they will be more tolerant in the future, because it will be a normal fact to them, and not a shock. I don't see why such knowledge should have an age line to it. Maybe only if it's too complex, but as somebody already proved, anything can be translated into kids language.
 

Kebabco

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Housebroken Lunatic said:
Iron Mal said:
When dealing with kids it's best to keep things as simple as possible
"Love can occur between a man and a woman, but also between a man and another man or a woman and another women. Only men and women can have children through sex, though but that doesn't mean that the feelings of homosexual are any less real or strange than the ones between heterosexual men and women. People are different, and it's okay to be different because we are all a bit different from eachother in some way or another. So I want you to bear this in mind if you meet a boy who loves other boys instead of loving girls, because even if you might not love boys like he does, he's not any less of a person than you are, just different from you. The same way you are different from him when you like blue shirts more than green shirts.
Love can also occur between a man and an animal, or a woman and an animal, or a man, a woman, an alien and an animal. It's also possible that you have a desire to express your love using cream, other food, whips, poo, tinfoil, handcuffs, rapelay, domination etc. You are free to express your love in any way possible........

Yeah this sounds beautiful...

We teach kids in our society about social norms, we dont tell them about every freakin possibility there is with everything.
 

Iron Mal

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Housebroken Lunatic said:
Then again how would you know what the child might encounter? For instance, what happens if one of the classmates gets exposed as being gay without anyone seeing it coming? How do kids usually react to that when they have only been forcefed with the heterosexual norms and values all their life? With acceptance and tolerance? (I doubt it)
Like I said, they would bring it up on their own eventually, if they heard a kid being accused of being gay (and this was their first experience of homosexuality) then I doubt they would join in the laughing and finger pointing, they would just ask the valid question of 'what's a gay?' (this would be like me calling you a xtopalotakettle and having everyone start laughing at you without really knowing what the hell that is).

'What if one of the classmates is exposed as being gay?', in other words, what if a rumour gets spread and someone gets picked on for it. Excuse me for shooting your point down like a balloon here but that could be applied to anything, not just sexuality (in fact, targeting one's sexuality is an easy way to trigger our insecurities but more on this later), what you are asking to prevent our kids from doing is actually called bullying, this can be aimed at anyone for any reason (even gay kids, if there is such a thing as a gay child, can be bullies).

I got bullied a lot because I was nerdy, a loner, somewhat overweight and hated sports, I never got any white knight crusaders rushing to my aid, no equality or tolerance for me, just my parents trying in vain to get the teachers to actually fucking do something about it.

For victims of homophobic bullying there are organisations, awareness raisers, advertising campaigns, celebrities who speak out against it, fund raisers and other such things to aid young people who get hassle because of one small detail about them, all I got was cold comfort from the empty promise of the teachers maybe dedicating some time to it perhaps if they feel like it (it's still bullying and abuse, the difference is what's done about it).

'How do kids react when they've only been forcefed with the hetrosexual norms and values all their life?', this little number made me laugh a little because it almost sounds like you're trying to imply that being hetrosexual is somehow morally inferior or linked to prejudice, what exactly are 'hetrosexual norms and values'? Does our sexuality somehow define who we are morally? Isn't that something that the desire for equality was trying to disprove?

"Love can occur between a man and a woman, but also between a man and another man or a woman and another women. Only men and women can have children through sex, though but that doesn't mean that the feelings of homosexual are any less real or strange than the ones between heterosexual men and women. People are different, and it's okay to be different because we are all a bit different from eachother in some way or another. So I want you to bear this in mind if you meet a boy who loves other boys instead of loving girls, because even if you might not love boys like he does, he's not any less of a person than you are, just different from you. The same way you are different from him when you like blue shirts more than green shirts.

You want others to accept that you like blue shirts and not get teased or made fun of because you do, right? Then it's not hard to understand that a boy who likes boys more than he likes girls would want to be able to like what he likes without getting teased because of it, don't you agree?"

Pretty simple and clear cut explanation and one that a kid at a young age would eat up pretty easily.

So exactly what is it that you fear would "complicate" matters so much?
You said earlier that you can't tell what a child will encounter or when so what's to say that they will understand or even accept that if you tell them it?

My understanding, acceptance and tolerance of homosexuals stemmed from personal experience talking to people and from my own personal view of everyone just being people, not because my parents sat me down and gave me a lecture on how I should approach sexuality.

Sexuality is a very deep and complicated subject, there are people who devote their entire lives to trying to understand and explain it. Naturally this results in a lot of people who are insecure about their sexuality or get confused or doubtful about who or what they truely are, it's not just like picking a favourite colour, it's much bigger and more meaningful than that (for some people it shapes their interaction with people or even their entire lives) so trying to get a child to understand the real meaning and impact behind someone being gay is quite a large undertaking (hell, adults often can't quite get it, hence we have the whole problem of homophobia in the first place).

What you should be doing isn't to teach kids about how to deal with gays or bis but how to deal with people, if you're doing it right then the whole issue of sexuality shouldn't even cross their mind.

EDIT: I also liked how you neglected to comment on my third paragraph, you know, the one where I mentioned how statistics show that acceptance and tolerance of homosexuality is at an all time high and most people are supportive of the homosexual community and their efforts towards obtaining equality.
 

Blitzwarp

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Kebabco said:
Love can also occur between a man and an animal, or a woman and an animal, or a man, a woman, an alien and an animal. It's also possible that you have a desire to express your love using cream, other food, whips, poo, tinfoil, handcuffs, rapelay, domination etc. You are free to express your love in any way possible........

Yeah this sounds beautiful...

We teach kids in our society about social norms, we dont tell them about every freakin possibility there is with everything.
Putting aside the fact that you just compared homosexuality to bestiality...no. I can't put that aside. What on Io are you on about?