I work tech support for internet services in hotels and most of the calls we have are completely clueless morons.*Some* are legit concerns/questions (an antenna is down, server dosen't work, need a specific port for his vpn,etc) but most are like pulling teeth, for some reason people love to tell the absolute minimum of information and expect you to guess what's happening.
"Tech support good evening, how can i help you?"
"the internet dosen't work"
"ok, huh, what's happening exactly? you don't see the network at all or it won't connect or...?"
"well, it just dosen't work!"
"ok...i'm gonna need a little more details on that, are you connected to the network?"
"the what ? how should i know! it works fine at home, fix your system!"
"yeah..."
Then the fun part of telling someone who'd have trouble with a microwave oven how to verify his network status and his IP adress...all the while dealing with an overly aggressive customer who's convinced i think he's an idiot, which i do incidentally, i have a hard time watching my tone when i speak to idiots *who don't do anything to help* you know the kinda people that dosen't know where the start button is...
Anyways the worst i've ever said to a customer was "well sir after 15 minutes of hearing this i believe you're an idiot, please don't call back" and i hung up on him, there's only so much abuse i can take.
Oh, and i love absolutely convinced people.
"i don't see any networks"
"well, you're in downtown Las Vegas, that's not really possible, is that a new computer?"
"YES, brand spanking new, they told me it had wireless!"
"ok well, the wireless switch is off by factory default on new computers you just have to turn it on"
"the what now ? there's no switch"
"What's the brand of your computer ? (assuming it's not a dell) well there IS a switch somewhere"
"No, there isn't. i've never heard of such a thing"
"nonetheless, i suggest you look for it, there's the problem."
"i'm telling you there's not...oh wait...what's this? hey a light turned on"
"...there you go, refresh the list now"
"hey it's there!"
Yeah, kinda like magic.Some tech support people are sheet readers (do step A, if client says no then do step C if he says yes do step W etc...) but not ALL of them, some people actually know what they're talking about...
Oh, as far as being on the other end of the phone goes, i had a Netgear router which was "repaired" under warranty, except when i got it back there was a screw loose inside the case.I called Netgear back and told them i didn't want a router that's gonna short-circuit in a few months.
"Does the router works?"
"i don't know, i didn't plug it in, i heard the screw loose and called you right away"
"ok, could you plug it in please?"
"well....no, i DON'T WANT a router with a loose screw in it, whether it's working now or not"
"well, how can you tell it's defective if you haven't plugged it in?"
"BECAUSE THERE'S A FUCKING SCREW LOOSE INSIDE THE ROUTER *while shaking the router so he can hear the screw over the phone"
They didn't replace it, bastards, my new router is NOT a Netgear obviously...