Tech Support told me ___________
- Thread starter brainless906
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one time my computer basically exploded and so i called the people who are supposed to help me out with that sort of stuff. so i call them and this is the conversation.
me:hello me computer just exploded, what should i do?
helper monkey: ok try pressing ctrl+alt+del.
me:my fucking computer exploded!
helper monkey
k did you try unplugging it and replugging it?
me:my computer fucking exploded!
helper monkey:well if your not going to help me to help you, you can go fuck yourself.
and that was basically it.
me:hello me computer just exploded, what should i do?
helper monkey: ok try pressing ctrl+alt+del.
me:my fucking computer exploded!
helper monkey
k did you try unplugging it and replugging it?me:my computer fucking exploded!
helper monkey:well if your not going to help me to help you, you can go fuck yourself.
and that was basically it.
lol, helper monkeys <.<hippykiller said:one time my computer basically exploded and so i called the people who are supposed to help me out with that sort of stuff. so i call them and this is the conversation.
me:hello me computer just exploded, what should i do?
helper monkey: ok try pressing ctrl+alt+del.
me:my fucking computer exploded!
helper monkey
me:my computer fucking exploded!
helper monkey:well if your not going to help me to help you, you can go fuck yourself.
and that was basically it.
When my first 360 developed a DVD drive problem (it was buzzing loudly), I called up tech support. The guy said that there was no defect as long as it played games. I told him that I didn't want the DVD drive possibly destroying my disc because it was still playing. He insisted there was no problem. After about 20 minutes of this back and forth, I eventually asked him if the console had to be on fire before I could send it in. He then talked to a superior and got back to me after about 5 minutes. He set me up with a coffin shortly thereafter.
On my first Xbox the disc tray got stuck (on the second day!) and I phones Tech support and they told me to try and jam a fork in it and force it open!
I took it back to HMV and got a new one.
I took it back to HMV and got a new one.
....a fork...really....i would have guessed spoon...i suppose thats why IM not the guy on the phone...Dale Cooper said:
yeah, his name was Chet. Chet the brainless,retarded helper monkey.brainless906 said:lol, helper monkeys <.<hippykiller said:one time my computer basically exploded and so i called the people who are supposed to help me out with that sort of stuff. so i call them and this is the conversation.
me:hello me computer just exploded, what should i do?
helper monkey: ok try pressing ctrl+alt+del.
me:my fucking computer exploded!
helper monkey
me:my computer fucking exploded!
helper monkey:well if your not going to help me to help you, you can go fuck yourself.
and that was basically it.
Apparently there was something inside that if I hit with the point of the fork would reset the mechanism... I didn't believe him and also if it went wrong I can imagine getting my money back to be hard if my Xbox has been stabbed with a fork!brainless906 said:
That I can't play BF:1942, even though I paid full price for it. Even though I have a legal guardian written on my XBL account.
The other day, my Toshiba Laptop stopped charging, so I called up Toshiba tech support about this.
Me: I was wondering why my laptop isn't charging even though the charger is plugged in.
TS: Okay, now check if the charger is in. Could you do that for me?
Me: I just told you it was plugged in.
TS: ...Okay, well, is it plugged into the wall.
Me: ...yes.
TS: Okay, well can I have model number?
Me: (Gives model number and serial number)
TS: Okay, I see computer is out of waranty. We can do trouble shooting, that okay Julian? (I hate it when they try to be all friendly)
Me: Okay, well could you just help me out?
TS: Yes, but just you know, trouble shooting is 99.95 dol-
Me: (Hangs up)
A hundred dollars for general help????!!!!! What the fuck?????????????
Me: I was wondering why my laptop isn't charging even though the charger is plugged in.
TS: Okay, now check if the charger is in. Could you do that for me?
Me: I just told you it was plugged in.
TS: ...Okay, well, is it plugged into the wall.
Me: ...yes.
TS: Okay, well can I have model number?
Me: (Gives model number and serial number)
TS: Okay, I see computer is out of waranty. We can do trouble shooting, that okay Julian? (I hate it when they try to be all friendly)
Me: Okay, well could you just help me out?
TS: Yes, but just you know, trouble shooting is 99.95 dol-
Me: (Hangs up)
A hundred dollars for general help????!!!!! What the fuck?????????????
I called the tech support line for my ISP back when I was using Telstra to complain again that my "Cable Extreme" connection was complete fucking shit, like usual, and I wanted to know if there were any technical explanations for the suck because it was affecting my ability to play Halo 3 over XBox Live (constantly resetting my position, teleporting enemies, taking damage for no reason, etc.).
He told me to open Internet Explorer and clear my cookies. I explained to him very patiently that Internet Explorer was not the problem - we don't use it. I use Chrome, my wife uses Firefox. And even if clearing my cookies was the answer for my internet browsing issues, I don't see how my IE cookies were affecting my XBox Live connectivity while my PC was turned off.
When I asked to have the call escalated, he disconnected me.
Incidentally, it turns out when you have Cable internet you're sharing a bandwidth pool with everyone connected to your local exchange, which means if your ISP starts marketing cable internet to everyone in your area, you're going to have awesome internet for about five minutes, then Johnny Dongslapper next door gets his cable installed and decides to watch HD porno, Billy Fuckmouth across the street starts torrenting Crysis, and Sally Amusingsurname downloads the entire iTunes catalogue. This means using the internet for anything other than browsing for dial-up providers is a lost cause, and makes you wish you'd kept your ADSL. It might be slower overall, but at least it's consistent.
Thank god I'm on ADSL2 now.
He told me to open Internet Explorer and clear my cookies. I explained to him very patiently that Internet Explorer was not the problem - we don't use it. I use Chrome, my wife uses Firefox. And even if clearing my cookies was the answer for my internet browsing issues, I don't see how my IE cookies were affecting my XBox Live connectivity while my PC was turned off.
When I asked to have the call escalated, he disconnected me.
Incidentally, it turns out when you have Cable internet you're sharing a bandwidth pool with everyone connected to your local exchange, which means if your ISP starts marketing cable internet to everyone in your area, you're going to have awesome internet for about five minutes, then Johnny Dongslapper next door gets his cable installed and decides to watch HD porno, Billy Fuckmouth across the street starts torrenting Crysis, and Sally Amusingsurname downloads the entire iTunes catalogue. This means using the internet for anything other than browsing for dial-up providers is a lost cause, and makes you wish you'd kept your ADSL. It might be slower overall, but at least it's consistent.
Thank god I'm on ADSL2 now.
When I got my first 360 (well, technically my brother did) we got RROD and the tech support told us, "you're not supposed to have it on it's side."
Design fail?
:edit: point in question... 360 itself = epic design fail!
Take it easy
Design fail?
:edit: point in question... 360 itself = epic design fail!
Take it easy
Makes Sensehippykiller said:yeah, his name was Chet. Chet the brainless,retarded helper monkey.brainless906 said:lol, helper monkeys <.<hippykiller said:one time my computer basically exploded and so i called the people who are supposed to help me out with that sort of stuff. so i call them and this is the conversation.
me:hello me computer just exploded, what should i do?
helper monkey: ok try pressing ctrl+alt+del.
me:my fucking computer exploded!
helper monkey
me:my computer fucking exploded!
helper monkey:well if your not going to help me to help you, you can go fuck yourself.
and that was basically it.
I've got a really annoying one.
My internet wasn't working one day. So, hapless customer I am, I call thier helpline.
I get an automated message; fair enough...
I jump through the various hoops on the automation, to where it explicitly says "If you cannot connect to the internet, press 1"
I press 1, to come up with this reply: "Please go to our website at www..com"
I was astounded at thier stupidity. My internet was out, so go to thier website to fix it.
My internet wasn't working one day. So, hapless customer I am, I call thier helpline.
I get an automated message; fair enough...
I jump through the various hoops on the automation, to where it explicitly says "If you cannot connect to the internet, press 1"
I press 1, to come up with this reply: "Please go to our website at www..com"
I was astounded at thier stupidity. My internet was out, so go to thier website to fix it.
I contacted Nintendo's customer service when my free wiimote sleeves never arrived, and when I reordered them I only got an empty package in the mail. Yes, they were free, but I had a right to complain!
The woman on the other line was kind, courteous, and asked me a few short questions such as, "What is _ number on the package?" and "Where did the package ship from?" Supposedly there was some problem about people at the post office ripping open Nintendo mail and running off with the goods.
She apologized for the inconvenience. A short time later I recieved an extra bound, very thick package in the mail (much more durable than the empty one I obtained previously) with the wiimote sleeves intact.
Usually I have no time with tech support or customer service. My friend use to work tech support and occasionally talked to the dumbest of customers. His stories were hilarious.
The woman on the other line was kind, courteous, and asked me a few short questions such as, "What is _ number on the package?" and "Where did the package ship from?" Supposedly there was some problem about people at the post office ripping open Nintendo mail and running off with the goods.
She apologized for the inconvenience. A short time later I recieved an extra bound, very thick package in the mail (much more durable than the empty one I obtained previously) with the wiimote sleeves intact.
Usually I have no time with tech support or customer service. My friend use to work tech support and occasionally talked to the dumbest of customers. His stories were hilarious.
I called Gigabyte to get warranty info on my dead motherboard and they kept saying things about my graphics card. After hours of me correcting them and explaining the problem, they told me it was not covered under warranty, because it was not a valid Australian serial number...would have been useful if they asked that first. I fixed it by re-soldering the ferrite cores.
Sony Tech Support asked me a variety of ways I could have killed my PSP. I was telling them the truth, which was: It was in a hard case, siting on a shelf, untouched for 2 weeks, and I got it down, turned it on and the screen was busted. I found out later that it's a rare problem, but does happen randomly.
Sony wouldn't replace it because the screen is not covered in warranty, and they wanted MORE than the cost of a new one to replace it. It's currently rigged up on my TV via the component cables so I can still use it, screen is removed, i'm buying a replacement at some stage.
Xbox Tech Support told me to do the coin fix on a friend's 360, because the guy on the other end said it's more effective and takes less time, he also didn't want to fill out the forms.
Now for the funniest.
Calling Telstra tech support, I called about trouble with my mobile, and after the guy figured out I knew more than him and and he couldn't help because I was correcting his mistakes, he yelled "FUCK OFF ****!" and hung up.
I love tech support.
Sony Tech Support asked me a variety of ways I could have killed my PSP. I was telling them the truth, which was: It was in a hard case, siting on a shelf, untouched for 2 weeks, and I got it down, turned it on and the screen was busted. I found out later that it's a rare problem, but does happen randomly.
Sony wouldn't replace it because the screen is not covered in warranty, and they wanted MORE than the cost of a new one to replace it. It's currently rigged up on my TV via the component cables so I can still use it, screen is removed, i'm buying a replacement at some stage.
Xbox Tech Support told me to do the coin fix on a friend's 360, because the guy on the other end said it's more effective and takes less time, he also didn't want to fill out the forms.
Now for the funniest.
Calling Telstra tech support, I called about trouble with my mobile, and after the guy figured out I knew more than him and and he couldn't help because I was correcting his mistakes, he yelled "FUCK OFF ****!" and hung up.
I love tech support.