Testicles - Let's talk about 'em

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Wardnath

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Dec 27, 2009
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Was batting for my softball team a few years ago and got struck in the penis (yes, the penis) by the pitcher throwing the ball too hard. While it doesn't technically count, fuck me, that was painful. I was actually afraid I was gonna piss blood after that.

Aside from that, I don't think I've endured too much trauma in that area. I must be one of the lucky ones. >_>
 

ultrachicken

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Julianking93 said:
My first girlfriend broke up with me by kicking me square in the balls.

With high heels on.
I would go berserk if someone kicked me in the balls with high heels, and I consider myself a pretty peaceful guy.

OT: I was playing catch with my dad when he threw a fastball straight at my groin.

This didn't happen to me, but friend A was teasing friend B. Friend A makes a joke that hits pretty close to home with B, so B attempts to kick A in the balls. Instead, B hit A straight in the penis. A was sent home, and came back the next day and told me that his dick had been split down the middle and had stitches.
 

fishman279

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Oct 29, 2009
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I once got kneed in the balls and I fainted from pain. It hurt. Quite a lot. It wasn't helped by the fact that the guy had done 6 years of kickboxing.
 

Proctorninja

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Apr 15, 2009
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too many times to count but an outstanding one was i was playing the akeword game with this girl and instead of putting her hands on my sack nicely she punched them "accidentally"
 

the rabidrabit

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Aug 25, 2008
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I don't think I can count the number of times my guys have taken a pounding, but...
Worst I've suffered:
Stomped in the balls in a ruck
Headbutt to the balls while playing football
Hockey stick to the groin
What felt like testicular torsion, when I described the pain to a doctor, while sitting in a bus then playing a game of rugby just to aggrivate things.

Worst I've ever inflicted:
Uppercut to a friends nads
Kicked a dude in a line-out so hard he had to leave the field

I feel the response was justified in both situations.
 

Jedoro

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I've been kicked a few times, but I overcame the pain by pursuing the offender. First time, I chased him down some hallways and returned the favor. Second time, I beat the guy's ass.
 

Mechsoap

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Apr 4, 2010
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Julianking93 said:
My first girlfriend broke up with me by kicking me square in the balls.

With high heels on.
so she just came up and kicked you in the balls? or is there any reason other then a silly break up?
 

Buizel91

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Aug 25, 2008
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I was lying down on the grass with some of my mates once, and they were playing football...

Football + Mates with a strong kick + A lucky shot = Extreme pain.
 

sir.rutthed

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Nov 10, 2009
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There was a girl in my high school who thought kicking my buddies in the stones was funny, and she was kinda cute so she got away with it. One day she nailed my brother after school. The next day he didn't go to school because he had a cold, but when she asked me where he was I told her he was in the hospital for a ruptured testicle. By the end of the day, the entire school was buying the story and she was in a guilt driven panic. That night at church (it was a Wednesday and we were good Baptist kids) she had a basket of candies and apology card delivered to me for my brother in the middle of Bible study right as I was telling my friends the truth of the whole situation. We burst out laughing the second the delivery boy left. The next day at school, the principal called me and my brother into his office to explain everything; he had gotten wise to our scheme. He could barely contain his laughter as we told the story, and afterwards he called in the girl and we cleared up the whole mess. She never kicked another guy in the balls again after that, and I shared the candy basket with my friends in a victory feast. That was 5 years ago. To this day people in my home town still think my brother had a testicle removed and actually stop my parents in the streets to say they've been praying for him. Sorry for the long post, but I just had to share this story.
 

Julianking93

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Mechsoap said:
Julianking93 said:
My first girlfriend broke up with me by kicking me square in the balls.

With high heels on.
so she just came up and kicked you in the balls? or is there any reason other then a silly break up?
Like I said before, she was pissed because I was apparently the reason she got a D on the science project.

She got angry. Heated words were exchanged and she kicked me in the balls and walked off.

I threw up on her while she walked away though XD
 

Dogstile

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Jan 17, 2009
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OP: Do you really think girls don't feel just as much pain from a well aimed kick?
 

elcamino41383

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It has been a long while since I've been hit there hard enough to double over in pain. I do however, have a more memorable time. My brother was having one of his fits (this was maybe...8 years ago when he didn't control himself so well) and was about to hit my mom, like beat her within an inch of her life hit her he was THAT far gone, so I had restrained him for a moment. I passed him off to my friend who put him in a full nelson, then I went to punch him in the stomach to knock the wind out of him. My friend towered over my brother at this point and just restraining him wasn't good enough this time, which is why I wanted to wind him. He flailed his legs and kicked me so hard in the nuts I immediately fell to the floor coughing. A moment later I ran to the nearest window to puke outside it. To this day I'm still unsure of why I didn't just run to the restroom or kitchen sink that were both literally 5 steps away from me instead of the 20 foot run to my front porch.
 

Stephanos132

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dogstile said:
OP: Do you really think girls don't feel just as much pain from a well aimed kick?
They don't have testicles though, do they? That it is the subject in question here. Also, surely the technical equivalent for them would be the ovaries, so good luck kicking them.
 

lolcatize

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Oct 6, 2009
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football to the nuts never feel good and that´i tried to walk on a metal pipe resulting in hilariosly painfull moment xD
 

Wintermoot

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a guy once kicked me between the legs a few centimeter away from my family jewels and I once got a baseball in the bollocks but it wasnt that hard then again I do have a hihgh pain limit
 

Mechsoap

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Apr 4, 2010
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Julianking93 said:
Mechsoap said:
Julianking93 said:
My first girlfriend broke up with me by kicking me square in the balls.

With high heels on.
so she just came up and kicked you in the balls? or is there any reason other then a silly break up?
Like I said before, she was pissed because I was apparently the reason she got a D on the science project.

She got angry. Heated words were exchanged and she kicked me in the balls and walked off.

I threw up on her while she walked away though XD
so it wasn't like she hit you just in the middle of the hallway kicked you in the balls and said to fuck off? though i would properly get mad and grab the nearest long heavy thing and smack her for doing such a thing...my condolence
 

Prometherion

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Jan 7, 2009
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My girlfriend's bag hit me in the knackers by accident and my reflex reaction was to shout so suddenly that she dropped her unopened 7up can on my toes.

The double owwie.
 

rockyoumonkeys

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Aug 31, 2010
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Lambi said:
rockyoumonkeys said:
Pretty sure everyone with balls has gotten em squashed at some point.

And yeah, I've dished it out too. Again, I find it hard to believe that someone hasn't.
Well, believe it, because I've never received damage to my balls.
All that means is that it hasn't happened YET.
 

Boneasse

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Jul 16, 2008
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LustFull0ne said:
Boneasse said:
I received a football with full speed straight to the groin today. I couldn't walk for 5 minutes, just laying on the ground moaning in pain. It's not the first time I've been hurt 'down there' but I won't bother you with any more details.
Same thing happened to me, except, it was a soccer ball. I also got kicked and hit down there a few times as well.

Sometimes it was playful. Other times, people were just being assholes.
Mine was actually a soccerball too, I'm just used to calling soccer, football, because that's the way we roll in Denmark!

dogstile said:
OP: Do you really think girls don't feel just as much pain from a well aimed kick?
That's the thing though, it doesn't need to be well-aimed to hurt a man's groin. Barely grazing them in the right way can be painful.