Testicles - Let's talk about 'em

[The Axon Hillock]

Ever seen a tall circus bike? I've you hit something and fall forwards, you get your ghoulies crunched on a steel bar continuously while your feet dangle two feet above the ground. It's hurts like Satan is cooking your junk on a fire fueled with the souls of the damned...

 

[Axzarious]

A weak point to attack for massive damage.

 

[Kinokohatake]

I was stung on the balls by a jellyfish. Awful.

 

[Therumancer]

Yeah, as the title in the thread says, let's talk a little about something all men hold dear to their hearts: Their balls.

You might think this sounds pretty vulgar, but all I want is to ask all the guys on the Escapist a little question;

Have you ever recieved a hit / punch / kick / instrument / something else, to the area between your legs, making you double over in pain?

If so, then tell us about it - share your pain brother. It's something you don't just forget.

As for me? I did so today, actually, which prompted me to make this thread: I received a football soccerball with full speed straight to the groin today. I couldn't walk for 5 minutes, just laying on the ground moaning in pain. It's not the first time I've been hurt 'down there' but I won't bother you with any more details.

Can you still remember this happening to you, even if it was years ago?

And to all the girls, might feeling a little left out, I can ask you this;

Have you ever been the one to dish out pain to a guys' nuggins, be it on purpose or not? And if on purpose, why?

Been hurt there both intentionally, and due to accidents.

Hit someone there on a number of occasions. Despite how it might seem at times I don't get into many fights, and actually made a living by being able to hold my ground and defuse/control situations without them turning into violence or louder than they were.

If I'm in a fight I can't avoid I seek to end it as quickly as possible, and to put the other guy down as fast as possible so he won't do the same thing to me. I'd rather apologize, or make excuses for being "dishonorable" or "fighting like a girl" than be the one getting scraped off the ground. Doesn't have to look good, be macho, or convince anyone that I'm honorable in my mind, all that matters is that I get to walk away when it's over.

Never killed anyone, but as a bit of an extension I'll also give one of my favorite quotes "I'd rather be tried by twelve, than carried by six". Being locked in a prison sell and meeting "Bubba" is something I'd do almost anything to avoid. On the other hand if I even suspect I have a chance of dying, even if I overreat, the other person is going down. I'd rather have to explain myself to a Jury and risk Bubba (or death by cop trying to escape since that is preferable to Bubba) than my own crying family needing to select pallbearers.

 

[TheLaofKazi]

At this one campsite I visited about 3-4 years ago, there was a lake to swim in with a tall, 3 story, 30 foot (not sure how tall it was) wooden diving structure. After jumping off the first two stories for a while, I felt ready to take on the top story. After standing up there, looking down, building up the courage to jump, I finally did it. But I was a huge idiot and forgot to close my legs on the way down, thus resulting in extreme ball pain when I hit the water. It hurt for hours afterwards. Everything still works down there, thankfully.

 

[blankedboy]

During lunchtime, some guy I know was trying to slice me with a screwdriver (like actually trying, assault-wise), he ended up scraping me and going clean through my sandwich, and then ended up with the ball-kick of a lifetime.

That was a good lunchtime.

 

[MikailCaboose]

Playing a game of some Spanish vocab game where we tossed around a ball about the size of a baseball and had to say what the word was in Spanish. My friend next to me got a little frustrated that she forgot a word and she practically spiked the ball at me. I think we can all guess where it landed .
I physically fell out of the chair and assumed the fetal position for a few moments. Looking back on it we laugh about it though.

 

[shadyh8er]

I was playing two-square with my brother when we were both kids. I was standing too close to the line when he did his "special move," and I ended up getting a medium-sized rubber ball thrown at full speed and point blank range right in the gonads. That was my last game ever.

I even sat on my balls once. Felt really smart.

 

[skitzo van]

Another guy kneed me there once in a half fight, so I beat the crap outta him.

And a beyblade once bounced real hard into them.

...
I once hit my friend in the balls with a beyblade...
I've been shot with toys, my dog has stomped on them and my friend would kick me when he was bored, I'm pretty sure my kids will be retarded.

 

[Spacelord]

I thought this thread was about the Doraleous and Associates character.

Now that I know what this thread is about: I'd rather not tell any of you lest I relive all those incidents all over again in my head

 

[RewardMe]

Got a cricket ball bowled to the nuts years ago, with no cup, in middle school. It rivaled the pain i felt when i broke my arm in three places a year before that.

 

[ElTigreSantiago]

op

Nice avatar.

On topic, yeah my balls are pretty screwed up. One is like 5 sizes larger than the other. (Yeah, the hospital has these little grape-shaped beads to measure the size. I am not fucking joking.) So I will probably need surgery, and I might be sterile. But yeah, thats more intense than getting hit with a ball or something.

Likewise! Sorry to hear that you might go sterile, that's not cool

Haha it's all good. I probably won't want kids even if I can. But if I can't, there can be no "mistakes"

 

[RandomWords]

One close call I can recall, I was walking down the stadium when a foul ball missed by centimeters, still hurt but I was glad to walk home with a working pair of balls.

 

[neoontime]

First time when I was bending one my sister's flip-flops and slapped myself down there. I was really suprised on how much it could hurt.

 

[ryderawsome]

tennis ball right in the crotch on the last day of school in front of the girl i like. ah memories

 

[Lullabye]

Well, though I've had my fair share of nut shots, I don't think any of us can compare to Griff:

 

[Tydanubus]

Ball to the groin? Check. Knee to the groin? Check. Fist the groin? Check. Open hand with grabbing motion and not in a good way to the groin? Check. Dog head to the groin? Check. My own wildly out of control hand to the groin? Check.

I don't think I'm going to be having children.

 

[Triscut900]

a few years back me and my friends (you can see where this is going) decided to play chicken with a tub of mayo and we tossed it at each others balls
yea im a dumbass

 

[mrx19869]

Real Men don't hit other Men in the nuts...

 

[mrx19869]

a few years back me and my friends (you can see where this is going) decided to play chicken with a tub of mayo and we tossed it at each others balls
yea im a dumbass

you might wana add... sit on your own nuts.... check