"That Was Deep!" "No, You're Just Stupid."

[Eggsnham]

Have you ever met anyone who is just THAT kind of stupid. There is no other way to describe the stupid, they're just THAT kind of stupid.

The kind of person that will post quotes on Facebook that they can't comprehend beyond a third grade level, who will look at you with an "lolwut?" face after uttering a word with more than 2 syllables?

Stories please.

 

[Gentleman_Reptile]

A once knew a girl who asked me one day........"Ummm, which way do the clouds go again?".She's studying to be a nurse last I heard. May God have mercy on us all.

 

[Riobux]

A girl in my sociology class once though Hawaii was part "the east".

She actually did better than me in sociology and psychology.

 

[YuzL]

I knew this one girl who didn't know that Florida yes Florida was a state.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

in my junior year of high school we once made a person who never uttered a curse word do the I am Sofa King We Todd ed bit but she still denies to this day we made her "fuck"

 

[Diligent]

I know a guy through a friend who seems to spend most of his time in his own little world. We were talking about the show Arrested Development (which is awesome) and at one point in the conversation he blurted out "Who, Superman?".
We actually had to unravel the maze-like path of illogic to figure out what he was talking about:
-Michael Cera is in Arrested Development
-Michael Cera has an online web-show called Clark and Michael
-Clark from the webshow shares the same name as Clark Kent
-Clark Kent is superman

No joke, this was how he came to the conclusion that superman was involved.

 

[Kinguendo]

So to summarize... You all "knew this girl"... maybe it was the same girl?

EDIT: DAMN! The guy who posted just before me posted about a dude!

 

[Acidwell]

Heres the scene.
1. My student flats have a front door with a button you push to release the door.
2. The button is on the wall about 2 feet away from the door.
3. My friend is pretty short.

Story:

My friend says goodbye and leaves the apartment, i decide to go to the shops 5 minutes later and find her with one hand on the button stretching as hard as she can trying to reach the door handle to push the door open. I laugh.

 

[AngloDoom]

A girl (named Suzy, maybe it is the same lass) once asked out biology teacher if, in that special stage in time where the Great Barrier Reef unleashes sperm into the ocean, a woman swimming in it at the time would become pregnant.

Half-man, half-coral. Like the Thing from Fantastic 4.

 

[Z(ombie)fan]

in my junior year of high school we once made a person who never uttered a curse word do the I am Sofa King We Todd ed bit but she still denies to this day we made her "fuck"

i am confused as fuck by this, can please explain in more clarity?

Heres the scene.
1. My student flats have a front door with a button you push to release the door.
2. The button is on the wall about 2 feet away from the door.
3. My friend is pretty short.

Story:

My friend says goodbye and leaves the apartment, i decide to go to the shops 5 minutes later and find her with one hand on the button stretching as hard as she can trying to reach the door handle to push the door open. I laugh.

this as well made no sense to me.

 

[Cynical skeptic]

in my junior year of high school we once made a person who never uttered a curse word do the I am Sofa King We Todd ed bit but she still denies to this day we made her "fuck"

i am confused as fuck by this, can please explain in more clarity?

Heres the scene.
1. My student flats have a front door with a button you push to release the door.
2. The button is on the wall about 2 feet away from the door.
3. My friend is pretty short.

Story:

My friend says goodbye and leaves the apartment, i decide to go to the shops 5 minutes later and find her with one hand on the button stretching as hard as she can trying to reach the door handle to push the door open. I laugh.

this as well made no sense to me.

Sofa king is phonetically similar to "so fucking" in some dialects. The entire bit is attempting to get someone to sound out "I am so fucking retarded." I say "dialects," but this really works with "jersey girl."

The other one... I assume you hit the button and go out the door. Where she thought you had to hold the button for the door to open.

 

[sjarri]

-snip-

 

[alittlepepper]

@z(ombie)fan.

Say "I am Sofa King We Todd ed" aloud and quickly, you'll see what it sounds like.

And I believe what Acidwell was saying was that the button beside the door unlocks it for a short period of time, so you can go through it. His friend apparently didn't understand that and thought the button had to be held down while turning the handle, and had spent five minutes stretching and straining to do so when she didn't need to.


As for my story, in 7th grade biology class a girl actually asked where the vagina was located. She claimed after the fact that she did it on a dare, but...well, she wasn't terribly bright otherwise, so there was speculation.

 

[Trivun]

Heres the scene.
1. My student flats have a front door with a button you push to release the door.
2. The button is on the wall about 2 feet away from the door.
3. My friend is pretty short.

Story:

My friend says goodbye and leaves the apartment, i decide to go to the shops 5 minutes later and find her with one hand on the button stretching as hard as she can trying to reach the door handle to push the door open. I laugh.

Haha, I have a really short housemate who I also lived with in student halls last year. I think she's pretty lucky, to be honest, that our halls didn't have the same sort of mechanism. Otherwise she'd have been totally screwed .

On topic: My younger brother, who is 17, by the way, was with us in the car when my mum and dad were picking me up from university last Christmas. On the motorway heading down past Derby, we saw a roadsign that said 'Toyota'. It was leading to a nearby Toyota factory, but my brother didn't realise. About ten minutes later he piped up and said that we'd passed 'Toyota Village'. We struggled to understand what the hell he was on about until realising, when he told us, that he thought there was an actual town called Toyota that had suddenly sprang up (bear in mind he'd made that same journey from Leeds down to Birmingham about ten times previously).

We all laughed. And we've never let him live it down .

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

in my junior year of high school we once made a person who never uttered a curse word do the I am Sofa King We Todd ed bit but she still denies to this day we made her "fuck"

i am confused as fuck by this, can please explain in more clarity?

Say the phrase to yourself slowly. The repeat only saying it a little bit faster, repeat again going faster still. You'll eventually realize you're saying "I am so fucking retarded"

 

[Luke5515]

We were talking about Hitler in U.S. History and we were talking about how whoever didn't agree with him or work with him he'd kill.
And this airhead in the back says "so in that sense he was kind of, like, a dictator?"

 

[Go Fighting In The War Room]

Kid in my History class, who doesn't know who Hitler was. Or that Canberra is the capital of Austrailia, saying Sydney is, even though we showed him on a map, and on Wikipedia, claiming it all as "lies".

Last time I checked, he's failing History.

 

[Z(ombie)fan]

in my junior year of high school we once made a person who never uttered a curse word do the I am Sofa King We Todd ed bit but she still denies to this day we made her "fuck"

i am confused as fuck by this, can please explain in more clarity?

Say the phrase to yourself slowly. The repeat only saying it a little bit faster, repeat again going faster still. You'll eventually realize you're saying "I am so fucking retarded"

oh good.

to be honest, i thought forced to her to have sex with you for being a dumbass XD.

boy was i wrong.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

in my junior year of high school we once made a person who never uttered a curse word do the I am Sofa King We Todd ed bit but she still denies to this day we made her "fuck"

i am confused as fuck by this, can please explain in more clarity?

Say the phrase to yourself slowly. The repeat only saying it a little bit faster, repeat again going faster still. You'll eventually realize you're saying "I am so fucking retarded"

oh good.

to be honest, i thought forced to her to have sex with you for being a dumbass XD.

boy was i wrong.

you sir have earned a giant [HEADING=1]*FACEPALM*[/HEADING]

 

[Fox1789]

a friend of mine still to this day reuses to believe that a platypus is a real animal