"That Was Deep!" "No, You're Just Stupid."

[AMMO Kid]

this annoying guy on youtube. he thinks he is the best at splinter cell but he only plays on normal difficulty and gets spotted and SUCKS! oh and my other friend thought that if you could see yourself in a mirror you are a genie...NO LIE!!! he also thinks christmas trees attract genies...he and his girlfriend split up recently, I wonder why.

what?

yes he is entirely genuine about it too! its amazing though I love it its so funny

 

[BubbaJeff]

Fun game to play with drunk ladies:

1) Tell them it is impossible to touch their elbows behind their back

2) Enjoy.

 

[robert022614]

but there are always animals around trees so chances are very slim that nothing perceives said vibrations, but still possible

 

[Klepa]

horrible story from my younger years, I think we were about 14 or 15 at that time.

There was a girl in our cooking class, who did not understand numbers.

Her:"What does this mean? there's a one, and then another one, a slash, and a four?"
in case that description eludes you, the textbook said: 1 1/4 cups of something.
Me:"uhh.. one and one quarter?"
Her:"Quarter?"
Me:"Like.. one fourth. One fourth of a cup. Quarter is one fourth."
Her: "How do I get one fourth?"
Me:"You.. it's... one fourth! I can't make this any simpler for you! Take one whole cup okay? Then divide it into four equal segments, then take one of those segments. That's one fourth."
Her:"I don't get it. Show me."
Me:"Okay like... just pour half.. HALF.. then take HALF away from that, you've got a quarter. a half of a half."

She somehow managed to not understand that, and I eventually just did it for her. I tried showing her, with a cup, and water, how I pour half away from a full cup, then explaining how it's the water is now divided by two. Then pouring half away from what I had left, and explaining how I now had one fourth left, which was a big fucking waste of time.

When we finally had finished cooking, it was time to eat it. It tasted absolutely gruesome. I looked up the recipe, and realized that there was indeed, another fraction..

Me:"How much salt did you put in?"
Her: "Three units.."
Me:"Why?"
Her:"it says three out of four units of salt"
Cooking Book: "3/4"

 

[Prince Regent]

Dutchland: You know, the place where Dutch people are from..... 'nuff said. This has been observed too many times to be funny.

I've heard worse: Someone was talking about Germany in German ("Deutchland" or however it's spelled) and one guy suddenly asked "Wait, Germans are Dutch?"

Our collective heads blew up.

This is a rather a dumb mistake of the English who couldn't tell the Dutch and German languages appart. The Germans call themselves Deutsch, while the Dutch call themselves Nederlanders.

 

[JEBWrench]

I know that for most people, it a urban myth but i actually know (personally) someone who ask at a McDonald a CHeeseburger without cheese.
*snip*

Happens all the time. It's actually cheaper that way at some stores.

EDIT for clarity: Cheaper than ordering a hamburger.

 

[Hattman]

This happend several times in my old class:
Teacher explained something and everyone got it.
One girl raised her hand and said "But,isn't it like X?" (X stands for the explaination)
Teacher: "That was what I just said."
Smug faces on everyone for the rest of the class.

 

[Megacherv]

One of my favorite exchanges from college.
Friend 1, "Ian": Hey, well... could God make another God, since he's all powerful and all knowing?"
Friend 2, "Charlie": "....shut the fuck up, Ian"


ANYTIME someone asks the question of
"if a tree falls and no ones around to hear it, does it make a sound???" *deep, wide eyed look of a "wise saying*
... of course it fucking does.

*a lot of philosophy majors I know in college... most are just quiet hipster jack offs who think that a goatee and pursuit of a useless degree makes them deep

I always counter it with "Well, if nobody is around to hear it, therefore nobody is around ot observe it, we can't determine whether the tree fell or not, as is stated by the rules of quantum mechanics."

That'll throw them off.

 

[TheBoulder]

My social studies teacher is a complete idiot. One time, we were on a website about the olympics, and she wanted to see who had what medals. Well, her mouse was 2 centimeters away from the button that said 'Medals'. It took her 5 minutes to find the button. She also hit a bunch of other links. While the class was getting continually louder because we are all trying to tell her where the link is and how stupid she is.

 

[Darkenwrath]

A girl I know, we live in england, a cold rainy, murky hellhole. We made her believe we actually lived in Dubai and English was all our second languages...

 

[The DSM]

Someone in my sicence class asked where the great wall of China is.

And thinks mirrors are portals to another dimension.

Its pretty depressing when you know we are top set Science...

 

[GamingAwesome1]

A girl in my class failed to spell "orange" correctly.

This is in high school. The shameful part is about 90% percent of my school is like that.

 

[Baby Tea]

I live in saskatchewan btw, the worst we have here is drive by arguments

Hooray for Saskatchewan! Home of the "bunny-hugs"!
I wish I could remember more of these, because I worked at Burger King for 6 years, and there were a lot of great people who worked in that store...and a lot of dumbs ones. Sometimes they were the same person! Great, but dumb. The best when I was telling a stupid joke:

"Hey, did you hear that Willy Nelson died?"
"What?? He died! Oh no! What happened!"
"He was playing on the road again!" (Badum-tish)
"Oh that's so sad! Did they get the guy who hit him?"
"...really?"

 

[Arikarin Aririkamei]

We were watching Saving Private Ryan at school once, and this girl asked about half way through; 'Are they in a war?'

*MAJOR FACEPALM*

 

[Warped_Ghost]

My sister didn't know who won world war one when se was 18. I hope im adopted.

 

[Quaxar]

We've got two of this kind in class.
Girl 1 once started a discussion about the moon in maths, after the NASA experiment where they created this explosion on the moon to search for water. She asked if it wouldn't be possible to kick the moon out of his orbit with that. And if water on the moon wouldn't be full of "moon poison" or something.
That was facepalm at that moment, since it was this year, few month before final graduation, after 8 years of physics.

But Girl 2 really blew my mind when she stated that "women have XY chromosomes and men have YY" and insisted on it even when corrected by others.
Yes gentlemen, we're that macho we even have two Y chromosomes.
(happened like a month ago, so even nearer to graduation than the other one)

 

[MercenaryCanary]

We had to have a written discussion in our English class where everyone would take out their own sheet of paper, and would write about how people hide something about themselves. This one girl said that she hated how people would act like her friend one moment, then when out of sight, would talk bad about her behind her back.

Well, since we were allowed to write anything on this, I waited until the paper got passed to me, and wrote about how she should just stop hanging out with stupid people, and actually show the side of her that she considers weird, because the majority of weird people at our school don't talk bad about each other, they group up.

She somehow thinks I call her stupid, and weird.
Tempted to explain it to her, but she won't listen.

 

[Thyunda]

I once convinced a girl that myself and a friend led the Russians into Berlin at the end of the second world war. We're seventeen.
Her response? "Oh my god, that's amazing...but weren't you like seven?"

 

[Snowden's Secret]

There was one girl a friend knew, who apparently asked one day: "How do blind people know when they're awake?" That one had us going for HOURS.