"That Was Deep!" "No, You're Just Stupid."

[King of the Sandbox]

I see it all the time in my line of work.

Like tonight, for example, we're booked up here at my hotel, with several NO VACANCIES signs on the doors and the check-in desk.

Yet, of course, I have no less than 8 people, in the span of an hour, come in and ask "Ya'll got any rooms?".

Then, to top off the stupid tank, when I explain that we're having several group functions in town this weekend, and all hotels in the immediate area are booked, they immediately ask me if I can call another hotel in town and see if they have any rooms.

Urge to kill..... rising....

 

[ethaninja]

My cousin who his actually at this moment, sitting in my chair, playing Supreme Commander on MY computer, while I'm sitting on my bed with my laptop, listening to him ***** about how it's too hard and boring. I keep telling him EXCATLY what to do and he keeps ignoring me and then saying, "What do I have to do?"

 

[Escapefromwhatever]

I was speaking to this one girl when I was in High School about a recent trip I had made to Chicago when she responded with,

"Well, you went to Chicago, but which city in it? Chicago's a state, right?"

Another time in High School, I was dressed as my theater teacher for a skit some classmates and I were doing for our class. The following conversation took place:

Classmate: Wow, you look really old.
Me: Yeah. I look like I'm straight out of the 1940s- like I'm about to go to World War II.
Classmate: Wait, wouldn't the 1940s be the Civil War?

 

[Bek359]

One guy I know was apparently thoroughly brainwashed by his Uber-Christian parents into thinking A) abortions involved cutting the limbs off of babies and letting them bleed to death and B) that the Salem Witch Trials never happened. Absolutly pathetic.

Well, the partial-birth abortion procedure (which absolutely everyone save malicious sadists is against) is pretty damn brutal, but doesn't invole dismemberment, so he's still totally wrong, but a little, tiny bit closer than one might initially give him credit for.

 

[Silva]

Not making this up: met a 16-year-old girl who thought the earth was flat.

Did you ask her how she time travelled here from the 16th Century?

 

[Duruznik]

I know a girl who asked me where London was.

-"Hey, where's London?"

-"Well, people speak ENGLISH there, right? So..."

-"Um... America?"

-"No! Here's a clue: It's an island."

-"Australia?"

-"...No, that's way too south."

-"Antarctica?"

-"What? No! I just said it wasn't in the south!

-"Oh... Greenland?"

-"No! It's in England!"

-"Where's that?"

-"North-West of Europe. Just south of Scotland."

-"Oh... Are you Scotlandish?"

*Sigh* The worst part is, this isn't the stupidest thing she's said.

 

[evilninja60]

i knew this girl that went through air force cooking training and she didn't know that bacon came from pigs

 

[SimuLord]

I had a girl on campus offer me $200 to do her homework and write her essays for her. I told her "it's gonna cost you more than money to get me to risk my reputation and academic standing, and trust me, I'm WAY too twisted for your cute-little-girl tastes."

(edit: This same girl once said "You know that guy in China? Kim Jong the Second?" I was like "first off, it's North Korea, and secondly, try reading that name in Times New Roman instead of Arial. Or better yet, watch the goddamn news once in awhile.")

 

[Zorg Machine]

I knew a girl a few years back (she was sixteen) and I spent a long time trying to explain that, when you count the months left on the year, you don't count the month that has already passed.
I was unsuccessful.

I had a girl on campus offer me $200 to do her homework and write her essays for her. I told her "it's gonna cost you more than money to get me to risk my reputation and academic standing, and trust me, I'm WAY too twisted for your cute-little-girl tastes."

am I mistaken or did you just admit to making someone sell their own/someone else's body for help with homework??

 

[SimuLord]

I knew a girl a few years back (she was sixteen) and I spent a long time trying to explain that, when you count the months left on the year, you don't count the month that has already passed.
I was unsuccessful.

I had a girl on campus offer me $200 to do her homework and write her essays for her. I told her "it's gonna cost you more than money to get me to risk my reputation and academic standing, and trust me, I'm WAY too twisted for your cute-little-girl tastes."

am I mistaken or did you just admit to making someone sell their own/someone else's body for help with homework??

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to plead ignorance on this thing, because if I had known that sort of thing was frowned upon...

(and for the record, she said no. Not that I would've gone for it anyway. Much as I wanted to fuck the girl, getting kicked out of school wouldn't have been worth it.)

 

[KingGolem]

One guy I know was apparently thoroughly brainwashed by his Uber-Christian parents into thinking A) abortions involved cutting the limbs off of babies and letting them bleed to death and B) that the Salem Witch Trials never happened. Absolutly pathetic.

Well, the partial-birth abortion procedure (which absolutely everyone save malicious sadists is against) is pretty damn brutal, but doesn't invole dismemberment, so he's still totally wrong, but a little, tiny bit closer than one might initially give him credit for.

Easy now, I'm not opposed, and I can't help but think I'm the only one on the internet. I just looked up the procedure on Wikipedia, and it's actually not as bad as I thought. Not as bad as this kid thought either; apparently his parents made it sound like some kind Satanic ritual.

Ehh, I don't suppose your description of me was wrong either. I'm kind of a dick. You can oppose whatever you like, now, but be a little more careful on how you phrase it. I'm sure there's plenty of normal people who support it, too.

 

[ThreeWords]

A girl in my sociology class once though Hawaii was part "the east".

She actually did better than me in sociology and psychology.

Sherlock Holmes knew nothing outside his own specialization; he was unaware that the earth went round the Sun, and furthermore didn't care

What I mean is, people can be clever in certain areas while ignorant in others

 

[not_the_dm]

I was trying to convince a friend once that Resident Evil 3 happened before two, and that their meant to be played in a 1, 3 2 order. She didn't really believe me, so I made her watch as I played through them all. Around the halfway point of the second game, she said ''hey didn't we pass this place before?''

Not the best example, as you're not entirely right- Resident Evil 3 STARTS before 2, but ends up finishing after the events of 2 have already concluded. So actually, you ARE supposed to play 2 before 3. Otherwise you'll be wondering why Racoon City was blown up at the end of 3, but you're running around it in 2.

So really you should play 2 whilst playing 3... that's going to be awkward.

 

[The Aimless One]

Knew a girl once, who raised her hand in class (we were all 15/16 back then) and asked the geography teacher:
if the moon was more then a hundred kilometers away?......

After hearing the awnser she replied:
But then how do people breathe there?

Mind you, this was in a class consisting of the top-layer of education at that age in my country.
So Sad......funny but sad.

 

[not_the_dm]

I was at a train staition once and there were a group of americans who were surprised we actually used the 'flat faced trains off the tv' at first they thought there was some filming going on. Another time I over heard a fellow brit tring to explain what coal was and how old trains could use it to generate power.
also...

Well, there is this one girl (why is it always the opposite sex?) who caused me and my friends major headaches in history class.

Her actions include:
- Thinking that England and France were the same country.
- She thought that Hitler and Stalin were the same person
- Telling me to go kiss a picture of a Nazi when I said I was a communist.
- Thought all of the middle east was Iraq
- Did not know what the holocaust was
- Thought video games were evil and created terrorists
- Could not believe that atheists existed, and were allowed to think that
- Strongly believed that the church should be taught in school
- Did not know that the most flaming guy in the school who sat beside her, was gay
- Tried to preach the bible to me
- Hard a hard time telling black people apart

...Do you live in the deep south by any chance?

A few months ago I was on a contiki tour with about 50 other people and we were in Washington for our last night together. On the way back from the bar we passed the Pentagon.

Girl: "Wow the Pentagon has lots of sides."
Me: "Yeah... it has five sides. Hence the name."
Girl: "The pentagon is a pentagon?"

We never let her live that down. Granted we just came from a bar but she didn't have that much.

ow. my nose.

 

[King of the Sandbox]

I was at a train staition once and there were a group of americans who were surprised we actually used the 'flat faced trains off the tv' at first they thought there was some filming going on. Another time I over heard a fellow brit tring to explain what coal was and how old trains could use it to generate power.
also...

Well, there is this one girl (why is it always the opposite sex?) who caused me and my friends major headaches in history class.

Her actions include:
- Thinking that England and France were the same country.
- She thought that Hitler and Stalin were the same person
- Telling me to go kiss a picture of a Nazi when I said I was a communist.
- Thought all of the middle east was Iraq
- Did not know what the holocaust was
- Thought video games were evil and created terrorists
- Could not believe that atheists existed, and were allowed to think that
- Strongly believed that the church should be taught in school
- Did not know that the most flaming guy in the school who sat beside her, was gay
- Tried to preach the bible to me
- Hard a hard time telling black people apart

...Do you live in the deep south by any chance?

Do you use blanket stereotypes by any chance?
EDIT: Irony removed.

 

[splatterguy734]

When I got back from poland a girl I know asked me if there were many polish people there followed up with "did they speak polish?" she also previously asked me if Hitler did something bad and if he was a nazi suffice to say I was stunned.

 

[not_the_dm]

Do you use blanket stereotypes by any chance?

Apollogies. My somewhat dry sense of humour didn't come over as well as I hoped.

 

[Lexodus]

In biology:

Girl: But if the population keeps growing like this, won't we run out of FACES?!

Other Girl, also in biology, but on a different day: So do fish reproduce asexually?

 

[Thaius]

When talking in class back in high school about the concept of a story being "larger than life," the teacher asked if we students had any examples. One girl eagerly raised her hand and said, "Paul Bunyan!" Not because of the story, but because, according to legend, Paul Bunyan was like 8 feet tall.

Fail.