*Drives around in Wafflemobile*
Do-do-do~! I am Waffles~! And I am driving around~! Do-do-d-
*Giant 200lb safe drops on Wafflemobile*
WHATTHEFUCKGODDAMMITSHIT!
*Completely rages out*
*Remembers what Admiral gave me*
[hr]
Flashback
Waffles, I put insurance on your the Wafflemobile, if anything just say the NationRanch jingle.
That's....Oddly nice of you, Admiral....What do you want?
$50 and Itunes gift card....Make it so, *****.
Wait!....NationRanch. I thought it was Statef-
*****! We can't say there name!
Oh, right....
[hr]
Present day
Ahem! Like an acquittance! NationRanch is here!
*Random Guy appears*
HOLY SHIZNIT!
Random Guy: Ouch, that's your car?
WHO FUZZYICK ARE YOU!?
RG: Carl....Your agent.
And....And you just appeared like that?
Carl: Yeah, all you have NationRanch jingle and you can have anything you want.
Anything?
Carl: Anything.
Anything?
Carl: Anything!
Any-Ok, this getting old. Ahem! Like an acquittance! NationRanch is here with a BLT!
*BLT appears in hand*
*Makes

face*
[hr]
Several hours later
*Is surrounded by 90 BLTs, a naked Megan Fox, two Doberman dogs, a golden throne, a deathray, the ghost of Jimi Hendrix, Frank Zappa, Freddie Mercury, and a jar of baconnaise*
This is awesome as shiznit!
Carl: Can I just get your information, I'm getting kinda tired and I wanna go home.
I don't know...Jimi, what do you think?
Jimi: I just-*Laugh*-I-I just don't know...*Laugh*
Interesting ideas, I respect that.
Frank: The man is high as all hell! Can't you see that?!
Now, now, Frank, we don't need insults. Why can't you all be good like Freddie.
Freddie: *Snore*.....Wha-?
Carl: ENOUGH! *Waves hands, all summoned disappear* I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR SHIT! YOU FIX YOU OWN DAM CAR, *****!!!
....That's ok I have 12 Wafflemobile. *Trollface*.....*Blows Carl's brains out with a sawed off shotgun for the hell of it*
*Walks away whistling*
[HEADING=2]THAT WAS AN EXCERPT FROM WAFFLES LIFE, *****!!![/HEADING]