The Average Douchebag

[Riobux]

Chavs.

Do I need to say more?

nope. but you might want to explain the term to people who don't know about British stuff. I certainly never heard of them until I moved here.

How do you fully describe a life style as simplistic yet complex as chavs?

 

[Latinidiot]

They differ, but always have the smell of 'fuck off'

 

[reg42]

I don't have any set list of things. I usually just look at scenes, emos, jocks, and idiots and think "God, what a douche."

 

[RIOgreatescapist]

There's a lot of diversity when it comes to douchebags nowadays. Since the "know it all dorks" to the "gym monkeys", you can pretty much have a few definitions of what a douchebag might be.

 

[AndyFromMonday]

This Guy [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view]

I mean honestly, you can just tell by looking at him!

EDIT: Sorry for the thread hi-jack. Didn't expect 40+ quotes. Still, it was pretty funny. Days like this is why I love the Escapist.

Spoiler: You said what about me?

OT:

Spoiler: Every single fucking class in this country has at least 6 of these assholes.

 

[TN II Alpharius]

The douchebags in my area are:

1. Around 12-13.

2. Have a leader "Ned" of age 15+.

3. Wear the most ridiculous outfits such as a full kappa tracksuit with a cap slanted towards the sky.

4. Sentences either start with "Aye man" or "Naw man" or occasionally with the most high pitched and ridiculous laugh ever to exist.
5. The drink of choice for a "Ned" in my area is the infamous Buckfast, and no Ned is complete without one.

6. Their womenfolk tend to be of small stature and have a face of bronze with the same attire as their males. Also their earrings resemble chandeliers or massive hoops of the cheapest gold. (These earrings are most likely a courting gift from their "boy" which will initiate an unstable relationship full of drink drugs and most likely many, many children.

That is a definition of a douchebag in my local area of Scotland, but isn't exclusive to my area.

 

[NeutralMunchHotel]

This Guy [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view]

I mean honestly, you can just tell by looking at him!

EDIT: Sorry for the thread hi-jack. Didn't expect 40+ quotes. Still, it was pretty funny. Days like this is why I love the Escapist.

Spoiler: You said what about me?

OT:

Spoiler: Every single fucking class in this country has at least 6 of these assholes.

Wait, has he... Has he got a fake iPhone?

Oh dear lord.

EDIT: I just got it. You sir, are a genius.

The year 2010. The year of the underachievers.

The year where all you have to do to be considered a genious is to copy/paste a piece of code on the messageboards on the escapist.

You asked for a low watermark, people. And I tell you now that we have certainly reached it.

2010. The year where genius can't even be spelt correctly.

Your always so dry with stuff like this, it's always funny as hell to read.

Actually, that came across less friendlier than I had hoped. It was only meant to be playful banter... I'M A MONSTER!

 

[Indecizion]

Chavs.

Do I need to say more?

yep here too, chavs everywhere, I mean do they actually believe that they're cool with all that plastic that they call gold in those ridiculous clothes speaking what ever language they speak because it isn't English, sigh anger sooooo much anger.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

Again, even if the same prank is pulled upon other people, the negative emotions that you feel will still have happened. And while I now know that it was prank, it still does not change the feelings created for the prank. Each individual on first hearing it will still feel insulted until it is explained to them, and as has been previously discussed, a joke isn't funny if it has to be explained, just as with magic losing it's mysticism when you're told the trick. Now to wrap up this little discussion, the joke simply shouldn't have been put up because it couldn't cover for the different ways that peoples brains can work. And I did not over-react to the situation, because over-reacting would have been a hate post that would have included some very choice language that would have made a trucker blush. Mine was simply a statement of my personal feelings regarding the post, and that I had flagged it as something that I felt should not be kept on the forums, though by the amount of resistance I've had to the statement, I expect that it will be ignored anyway.

Someone was offended by a good humored joke? we cant have that. Especually on the Internet Some one call a mod, or the government or the police. The internet has 2 requirements to use.

1. Dont be a moron.
2. Have a thick skin.

Its the internet, if being called a douche makes you feel "negative emotions" then you clearly havnt been using it long. It happens ALL THE TIME on every forum imaginable, just disagree with someone and find out.

I wouldnt get so worked up about it, its a joke, he didnt mean to hurt your feelings, he wanted to maike you laugh, this isnt some evil dictator sitting at home cackling at your suffering. Learn to take a joke At first i was like "WTF" but the fact he didnt know me and my HTML checking sense made it pretty clear it was a joke.

 

[Parallel Streaks]

Tracksuit (Often knock-off of expensive brands)
Baseball cap, despite living in England,
Treats every woman like an object,
A mouth as big as their ego,
Can't get out a complete sentence without including the word "******" or "Mate",
Use racial slurs like the word "And",
Have the IQ of a glass of water.

I could pretty much sum this up as Chav. The neanderthal equivalent of the stereotypical "Frat Bro".

 

[Darth_Dude]

EDIT: I just got it. You sir, are a genius.

The year 2010. The year of the underachievers.

The year where all you have to do to be considered a genious is to copy/paste a piece of code on the messageboards on the escapist.

You asked for a low watermark, people. And I tell you now that we have certainly reached it.

I find it ironic, that you spelt genius wrong. Before you start insulting people, check your spelling.

 

[SamElliot'sMustache]

6. The people that say "I banged your mum"

Ah, this. A few months back, this kid got put into my department at work. First day we worked together, he kept saying that over and over, and giggling as if he were clever to say it.

I told him my mom had died of leukemia six months prior, and that stupid-ass grin he had just fell from his face. He then started apologizing to me over and over for the next hour, and the entire time I'm thinking "Tee-hee, my mom's still alive, and never had leukemia."

 

[CincoDeMayo]

The things I use to define a douche bag are:

1. Hoodie (especially when they are oversized)
2. A cap worn at a stupid angle
3. Driving in a small car with a massive exhaust to compensate for their tiny dicks
4. Calls everyting 'gay'
5. Use words like 'lol' and 'rolf' in normal conversations
6. The people that say "I banged your mum"
7. The people that say 'I'll get my mates and we'll bang you out"
8. Thinks that it is cool to do crap in education
9. Gets into fights because they think they are 'hard'
10. Do things irrationaly wothout thinking of the consequences.

The list goes on and on.

This. It pretty much sums up the previous city I lived in.

 

[GamingAwesome1]

Ok so folks, I was kept up until 4 in the morning last night because of some hooligans carrying on outside my street. So I decided to make a post. What is your average douchebag in your area?

For me it would be:

Popped collar
Illiterate, most of the time on purpose
Walks with their pants around their knees.
Spits everywhere for no apparant reason (apparantly its the douchebags version of a cat pissing on everything)
Interrupts everybody
Acts agressive
Likes to say the words: brah, bruz, brue
And just... acts like a complete tool

So fellow escapists, what is your average douchebag?

Pretty much how most of the wankers I've met act down to a T.

 

[A Raging Emo]

Chavs.

I have a particularly hard time from them, as I look like an Emo. Don't judge me!

 

[Teh Ty]

I go to a catholic school, and that fits the description quite nicely but, all of then have the same laugh, and just stop talking for a second when they're called a tool.