The bastard that got away

[KeyMaster45]

Was at the movies with a friend and after it was over, I inevitably felt like my bladder was a ticking time bomb. Thus began the frantic dash for the bathroom, I ducked around some guy's date who was going incredibly slow out of the theatre and apparently that pissed him off. He tries to say it low enough for me not to hear "Some people have no maners" that alone wouldn't have pissed me off, it was what came next that really flipped a switch

"Fat ass"

I've been called worse, but don't try and say it behind my back....5 feet from me...in an uncarpeted hallway. The bathroom could wait.

Me: "If you're going to insult me, say it to my face dickweed"
Dickweed: (was some snide comment about my weight and kicking my ass, it was months ago so I don't remember exactly)
Me: Eat a dick...

He mumbled something under his breath in a rather defeated tone, and I went on my way.

It was "You don't Mess with The Zohan" so some people had their kids with em, in retro spect I suppose the language was inappropriate, but a lesson needed to be taught. I was also scared shitless the guy really was gonna corner me and my friend in the parking lot and kick the crap out of us...then again we were both twice his size so I guess he got smart.

Ok, so he didn't get away, but I do love reliving the one moment in my life where my gamer attitude took over my normal, quieter one in RL. My friends and I now call it the "NERD SMASH!!!" moment

Rather far fetched story I know, but its all true, and if I'm lieing may I get hit by an ice cream truck....and live.

 

[Railgun88]

It's teachers that do it to me. They start annoying you or patrionising you about homework or something and it's like, I can't call them a ***** or i'll get suspended.

I'd love to hack our school's system to get em back.

Same here hall monitor bugging me bout my coffee since we cant have drinks in the hall way we put them in our lockers. There was 13 kids with drinks around me now i've never done anything to him but he pulls me out of the group to tell me to throw it away. So I gave him a, "Shut the fuck up you know I put in my locker so fuck off!!!!!". Needless to say I got a very nice 2 day vacation in the middle of the week.

 

[Flap Jack452]

I never have that problem, because I always get around any issues stopping me and I strike back, for example once this kid was making fun of the fact I sing aloud while walking, he had loads of his ratty friends with him so I couldn't do anything. So I waited a week, watched him and then went and keyed his scooter with the phrase "sing maggot". I felt happier that'll teach him to be more polite so in effect I did a good deed.

I think Hitler had that same basic school of thought as well...

What, key peoples scooters?

Yeah, but it would of been bikes back then. No i meant that doing something is ok as long as you can justify to yourself (ie the holocaust.)

 

[Flap Jack452]

I let pretty much anyone do or say whatever they want to me, until it all builds up and I just explode on whoever was unlucky enough to be a prick to me at that exact moment.

I'm basically the same way, but havent unleashed it yet. But when i do...oh boy its gonna be epic

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

I have another story where there was these girls who just tormented me all the damn time. I'm not the strongest person, but I can throw a decent punch and can take a lot of abuse (my friends and I box and I'm one of the last ones standing... or wobbleing, whatever works)

But I couldn't do anything, because they were girls and their boyfriends together could probably hurt me pretty bad.

it was funny too, they never taunted me when their boyfriends weren't around.

They were whores too, the whole school knew it, and I could have just crushed them emotionally. But then I would have three guys attacking me and that isn't something I would want.


The bastards that got away

of course my other story of where I got the guy back always makes me feel better

TImes like this I enjoy being a girl. We can get away with fighting because Men can't throw a punch on us.

Technically we can. Its just the justice system is skewed to women, so that we would probably get twice as much time as a women.

 

[Jamash]

No bastard ever gets away...

They just get added to 'The List'.

 

[Jeronus]

1. i am asian
2. im fat.
3.most are racist.
4.im starting to lose weight.

okay this bastard started picking on me since the sixth grade. the ***** is a kiss up and well its been okay i could never understand why his sense of humor consisted of your momma joke. he would hit me calling me a fatass asian boy and well repeats the word Taiwan ***** for some reason.but now im in the 10th grade and the ***** is still immature enough to piss me off. well actually i need a solution to how to get even.

Yo momma is the insult of a man who can't think of a decent insult. You could drug him put him in a soundproof box and ship him to Taiwan. Let's see how he deals with being the only white person around. He probably picks on you because it makes him feel superior in a sick and twisted way or else he gay for you and too scared to express it for fear of being rejected by you and everyone else around you. The reason I say send him to Taiwan because his feeling of superiority would suddenly disappear and he would be left with a feeling of remorse for the way he treated you. It's an idea. An illegal one but an idea nonetheless.

 

[Singularly Datarific]

I've had an experience similar to this, but with stupid actions rather than words.
Every day at lunch (Yes I'm in school), a pack of stooooooooopid idiots try to play soccer 1 to 15 feet from where i sit and eat lunch. At least once per day, a 50-mph ball hurtles in and crashes into either one of me/my friend's backpacks, faces, or lunches. They still continue to do this EVERY STUPID DAY. 3 times today, the soccer ball smashed into a plexiglass window-pane, and this was a LARGE window, about 6x4 feet, and 8 feet up from the ground. It didn't shatter or fall out, but I'll be glad the day it does, so I can eat food without being hit in the face on account of a bunch of inbred gorillas.

 

[Jeronus]

None taken. Bastards come in all shapes and sexes. Sorry, you didn't get those bastards. I know what it like to not be able respond with a witty retort as well.

 

[Jeronus]

I have a beard, or well at least I did before I cut it down to stubble a couple days back. Medium length hair (head hair) too.

So I meet my friend at the cinema, he tells me these girls have been making gestures at him so he has been pretending to text people so they'd leave him alone. These girls are in Subway behind some glass so I guess they feel safe despite there being a door next to their seat, they are flanked by a couple of dudes that didn't look like much use in a fight. Anyway, I look and the tubby blonde does this chest beating thing which I assumed meant some kind of hairy ape insult (I aren't particularly hairy, I just looked like a biker at the time). I figured she was an idiot who used racist taunts against guys with beards, not having the intelligence to see it made little sense, especially seen as I could have trampled her boyfriend there.

But I wasn't going to be provoked so I said to my friend 'lets move on' and we walked out of their sight to wait for the others. After about 20 yards I realized I could have just turned around and done a 'Capital D' belly gesture (no offence to the chubby OP here). That would have just crushed her, I couldn't believe I missed such a simple opportunity. Especially seen as her male friends wouldn't have dared to come within 10 feet of me.

The bastard that got away.

None taken. Bastards come in all shapes and sexes. Sorry, you didn't get those bastards. I know what it like to not be able respond with a witty retort as well.

 

[Mstrswrd]

I was a bit creepy about getting revenge. You might get away now, but I always had a disposable camera (or three) on me, so I always got your picture. I also had very talented photoshop friends. Excellent work, you would never be able to tell that they stuff was doctored unless you looked really hard.

Yeah, it's really creepy, but by god it worked. Of course, everything has since been deleted or burned to a crisp, since, as I have said twice going on three times, having random folks photos is really effin creepy.

 

[Jeronus]

Well, let me just put this in an order I find logical...
First: I am VERY overweight, I'm most likely considered obese.
Second: I am insulted a lot.
Third: I always have a response to everything.
Fourth: I can punch damn hard.

Well, considering all that, I've had many a good comebacks in my life, and even better fights. Not many manage to get away, because, if they get away before a comeback, I can sprint illogically fast for a man of my weight.

But, the ones that get away...I hate them. I hate them all. My personal not favorite: I was walking down the street toward my beautiful river down the road, when I spotted one of the kids from my school(on his driver's permit, but not actually legal without an adult, which there wasn't one of.) He was approaching at high speed, and VEERED HIS CAR ONTO THE DIRT ROAD THAT I WAS WALKING ON. I continued walking, rolling my eyes and thinking he was gonna stop, which he didn't, naturally. I jumped up onto the hood of his car, then he slammed on the brake, causing me to fly forward about ten feet. He drove up beside me, called me a fatass, and as I lay on the ground, struggling to get up, he pulled a cylinder thing of salt out of a grocery bag and emptied it on my face.
I have not got back at him to this day, I still have not fully devised my plan for the perfect murder, and therefore can't get away with it yet. >.>

Whoa. I mean Jesus Christ! Go after the guy or report him. Better yet kill him. Slowly. The world will thank you.

Actually, I remember something similar to what happened to you. I was walking across this parking lot after school but I can't quite remember why. Anyway I saw these guys who lived in my neighborhood driving a truck through the parking lot and swerving like crazy. I didn't notice them til they past me shouting obscenities and insults at me. After a while, I thought they left only to hear a horn honking behind me. These jokers decided they were going scare me or something because they were gunning for me at really high speeds. Now I should mention that the heat was intense that day and I wasn't exactly in my right mindframe. So I am just standing there while these bastards speed toward me in a truck that could turn every bone in my body into a dust. I am just standing there when they swerve out of the way just a few feet of hitting me. One of them spouted an insult about me being a fat ***** despite the fact that I just stared them down in a speeding truck and won. I didn't even realize the ramifications of the situation til a few minutes after it happened and even then I just laughed crazily to myself.

 

[Chiasm]

Lot's of bastards, I am far to small to actually make someone worry about me beating them up and have never got in any sort of fight in my life. Though usually what happens is if someone is being a jackass to me someone near by will usually step up and tell them to go away,Either someone I know or someone who knows of me.

Very Ant-Dramatic, But luckily messing with the few token disabled kids even when I was back in highschool was frowned by those who I knew and still is.

 

[SinisterDeath]

We all have been wrong by someone at one point but have you ever been dishonored and unable to strike back. For instance, I am a cashier which basically means I have to stand in one spot taking shit from people all day. One day, a customer came in and started making crude remarks about my weight. I know I am not the skinniest person and I have taken many jokes about my weight without getting mad but this lady was relentless in making fun of my weight. I had a million comebacks in my head to counter but due to the fact that I needed the job I stood there and took it. The old ***** and equally ancient friend finally left and I couldn't have been madder. So who your bastard and why did they get away? How would you get them back?



EDIT: Sorry, I accidentally pressed enter before I actually posted anything. Please forgive me.

I'm not a people person, thats why I stay away from customer service jobs.
Seriously, google customer service horror stories. (preferably from the customer service employee perspective)

If I ever had that job, in that situation. I'd have called the lady a C***, or be just as much of an ass, and ring up the item 5 times and try to get her to pay an abnormal amount of money

 

[SenseOfTumour]

I've done cashier work and yes, when you're told 'You mean you don't have a clementine polishing cloth in the PALE blue? When I came all this way on xmas eve? You've failed me and ruined the whole holiday!', well, I just think, you left it til 5pm on xmas eve to get some really obscure item and it's MY fault, go ahead and delude yourself, your family are probably just happy you're out of the house.

Really, there's some really nice people out there, but there's hordes of idiots and they tend to respond with rudeness.

Anyone heard the phrase' A fool and his money are soon parted?' So why is every store full of complete f***nuggets?? Shouldn't they be at home crying cos they have no shiny coins?

Also Store managers need to grow a pair, and the ranks above them need to support them when they say 'I'm sorry madam, but I'll not have my staff treated like that, please leave and come back when you have learned some respect.' Instead it seems we're expected to take crap from everyone to get an extra damn dollar in the till.

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

Well, let me just put this in an order I find logical...
First: I am VERY overweight, I'm most likely considered obese.
Second: I am insulted a lot.
Third: I always have a response to everything.
Fourth: I can punch damn hard.

Well, considering all that, I've had many a good comebacks in my life, and even better fights. Not many manage to get away, because, if they get away before a comeback, I can sprint illogically fast for a man of my weight.

But, the ones that get away...I hate them. I hate them all. My personal not favorite: I was walking down the street toward my beautiful river down the road, when I spotted one of the kids from my school(on his driver's permit, but not actually legal without an adult, which there wasn't one of.) He was approaching at high speed, and VEERED HIS CAR ONTO THE DIRT ROAD THAT I WAS WALKING ON. I continued walking, rolling my eyes and thinking he was gonna stop, which he didn't, naturally. I jumped up onto the hood of his car, then he slammed on the brake, causing me to fly forward about ten feet. He drove up beside me, called me a fatass, and as I lay on the ground, struggling to get up, he pulled a cylinder thing of salt out of a grocery bag and emptied it on my face.
I have not got back at him to this day, I still have not fully devised my plan for the perfect murder, and therefore can't get away with it yet. >.>

Baseball bat to the knees, throw alcohol or vinegar in his eyes then kick his ass.

Set his car on fire.

Junk punch, followed by ass kicking.

Knee cap him.

Put a couple bags of cocaine in his trunk then call the police on him.

Rob him, then set all his favorite stuff on fire.

I've got more, feel free to Pm me.

 

[Gooble]

A kid who bullied back in primary school...not that badly either, but he just really pissed me off. See him around occasionally now, but I'm never sure if it's him or not so I resist from punching them.

Also a guy at Reading Festival was trying to push past me, I was stopping him from getting past, then he shoved my elbow into my face (short scuffle) resulting in him punching me in the face! Unfortunately didn't really have enough room to swing and he was about 30.

 

[Jeronus]

I've done cashier work and yes, when you're told 'You mean you don't have a clementine polishing cloth in the PALE blue? When I came all this way on xmas eve? You've failed me and ruined the whole holiday!', well, I just think, you left it til 5pm on xmas eve to get some really obscure item and it's MY fault, go ahead and delude yourself, your family are probably just happy you're out of the house.

Really, there's some really nice people out there, but there's hordes of idiots and they tend to respond with rudeness.


Anyone heard the phrase' A fool and his money are soon parted?' So why is every store full of complete f***nuggets?? Shouldn't they be at home crying cos they have no shiny coins?

Also Store managers need to grow a pair, and the ranks above them need to support them when they say 'I'm sorry madam, but I'll not have my staff treated like that, please leave and come back when you have learned some respect.' Instead it seems we're expected to take crap from everyone to get an extra damn dollar in the till.

So true.