The bastard that got away

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SquirrelPants

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Dec 22, 2008
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Reaperman Wompa said:
Crazzee said:
Well, let me just put this in an order I find logical...
First: I am VERY overweight, I'm most likely considered obese.
Second: I am insulted a lot.
Third: I always have a response to everything.
Fourth: I can punch damn hard.

Well, considering all that, I've had many a good comebacks in my life, and even better fights. Not many manage to get away, because, if they get away before a comeback, I can sprint illogically fast for a man of my weight.

But, the ones that get away...I hate them. I hate them all. My personal not favorite: I was walking down the street toward my beautiful river down the road, when I spotted one of the kids from my school(on his driver's permit, but not actually legal without an adult, which there wasn't one of.) He was approaching at high speed, and VEERED HIS CAR ONTO THE DIRT ROAD THAT I WAS WALKING ON. I continued walking, rolling my eyes and thinking he was gonna stop, which he didn't, naturally. I jumped up onto the hood of his car, then he slammed on the brake, causing me to fly forward about ten feet. He drove up beside me, called me a fatass, and as I lay on the ground, struggling to get up, he pulled a cylinder thing of salt out of a grocery bag and emptied it on my face.
I have not got back at him to this day, I still have not fully devised my plan for the perfect murder, and therefore can't get away with it yet. >.>
Baseball bat to the knees, throw alcohol or vinegar in his eyes then kick his ass.

Set his car on fire.

Junk punch, followed by ass kicking.

Knee cap him.

Put a couple bags of cocaine in his trunk then call the police on him.

Rob him, then set all his favorite stuff on fire.

I've got more, feel free to Pm me.
I've got a sturdy plan, I just need some C4.
See, the "Perfect Murder" thing that I've been pondering upon was a side thing, for the lulz, till this happened.
But more likely than anything, this douche will try something like this again(I've heard some similar stories floating around the school), and I'll jump on his hood and through his front windshield, then kick his ass, before he's got any fucking clue what's going on.
 

theklng

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May 1, 2008
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i had a teacher that gave me bad grades through two whole years because she didn't like me. so i went up to the exams (one written and one oral) and got two As. come to think of it, i should have rubbed her in the face with it more than i did.
 

VeX1le

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Aug 26, 2008
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Jeronus said:
VeX1le said:
1. i am asian
2. im fat.
3.most are racist.
4.im starting to lose weight.

okay this bastard started picking on me since the sixth grade. the ***** is a kiss up and well its been okay i could never understand why his sense of humor consisted of your momma joke. he would hit me calling me a fatass asian boy and well repeats the word Taiwan ***** for some reason.but now im in the 10th grade and the ***** is still immature enough to piss me off. well actually i need a solution to how to get even.
Yo momma is the insult of a man who can't think of a decent insult. You could drug him put him in a soundproof box and ship him to Taiwan. Let's see how he deals with being the only white person around. He probably picks on you because it makes him feel superior in a sick and twisted way or else he gay for you and too scared to express it for fear of being rejected by you and everyone else around you. The reason I say send him to Taiwan because his feeling of superiority would suddenly disappear and he would be left with a feeling of remorse for the way he treated you. It's an idea. An illegal one but an idea nonetheless.
lol thanks but i'm looking for a resort that wont get me arrested in two countries.
 

nova18

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Feb 2, 2009
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Anytime someones insults any of you;

Look them dead in the eye
Give them a patronizing, blank look, the kind you would give to a child who just soiled themselves
Then clap, SLOWLY, METHODICALLY
Shake your head slightly to add effect.

Practise that technique, carefully hone it and you can crush a soul in seconds.
No word of a lie, this opinionated prick in my 6th form started an argument with my mate, I told him to "shut the f#ck up" and he said "Piss off, no-one even likes you here".
I gave him the sarcasm clap, my mates and everyone there were pissing themselves and this kid actually burst into tears and walked out. Keep in mind that he was only a year younger than me, he was 17 and plays rugby.
 

samsprinkle

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Jun 29, 2008
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CrazyBerk said:
So. while we wait..anyone seen any mudcrabs recently?
Yes...and incidently my bastard that go away was a hairy little mud crab. not really. I was pounding this kid at a football game, he had been doing well then he pissed me off. I started beating the shit out of him(within the limits of the rules, well most of them...) and then as I was preparing to finish him off coach decided that it was just a Freshman game and that I shouldn't be brutalizing the kid...he pulled me out...DAMMIT! It's American football coach! Not soccer!
 

Reaperman Wompa

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Aug 6, 2008
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Crazzee said:
Reaperman Wompa said:
Crazzee said:
Well, let me just put this in an order I find logical...
First: I am VERY overweight, I'm most likely considered obese.
Second: I am insulted a lot.
Third: I always have a response to everything.
Fourth: I can punch damn hard.

Well, considering all that, I've had many a good comebacks in my life, and even better fights. Not many manage to get away, because, if they get away before a comeback, I can sprint illogically fast for a man of my weight.

But, the ones that get away...I hate them. I hate them all. My personal not favorite: I was walking down the street toward my beautiful river down the road, when I spotted one of the kids from my school(on his driver's permit, but not actually legal without an adult, which there wasn't one of.) He was approaching at high speed, and VEERED HIS CAR ONTO THE DIRT ROAD THAT I WAS WALKING ON. I continued walking, rolling my eyes and thinking he was gonna stop, which he didn't, naturally. I jumped up onto the hood of his car, then he slammed on the brake, causing me to fly forward about ten feet. He drove up beside me, called me a fatass, and as I lay on the ground, struggling to get up, he pulled a cylinder thing of salt out of a grocery bag and emptied it on my face.
I have not got back at him to this day, I still have not fully devised my plan for the perfect murder, and therefore can't get away with it yet. >.>
Baseball bat to the knees, throw alcohol or vinegar in his eyes then kick his ass.

Set his car on fire.

Junk punch, followed by ass kicking.

Knee cap him.

Put a couple bags of cocaine in his trunk then call the police on him.

Rob him, then set all his favorite stuff on fire.

I've got more, feel free to Pm me.
I've got a sturdy plan, I just need some C4.
See, the "Perfect Murder" thing that I've been pondering upon was a side thing, for the lulz, till this happened.
But more likely than anything, this douche will try something like this again(I've heard some similar stories floating around the school), and I'll jump on his hood and through his front windshield, then kick his ass, before he's got any fucking clue what's going on.

Or cut your legs open, or leave traces of blood. Robbing him works better, also maybe get a few credit cards in hi name and ruin his credit history, doesn't sound like much but can ruin a persons future.
 

Syntax Error

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Sep 7, 2008
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SecretTacoNinja said:
I endure everything without fighting back. I'm too dumb and wussy to fight for myself...
Even now I endure snarky comments without twitching an eyelid. But I am thinking of exploding at my new "friends" for how much they've annoyed the crap out of me. Something along the lines of screaming "GO TO HELL YOU FILTHY BASTARDS!" at the top of my lungs. It would probably ruin my good record with the teachers but man it would be fun...

Hey, that thought cheered me up a bit...
If Jim Carrey taught me anything, it's to not let your anger build up within. You might wake up one day with a split personality because of all the hostility you welled up from within (Me, Myself, and Irene).

At least you're entertaining nasty thoughts. That's a start.

I verbally abuse most people who wronged me. But I don't do that unprovoked. If I did something bad to you, chances are, you did something to deserve it.