The Beginner's Guide to Being an Evil Overlord
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Yeah, give Max the cookie.Flying-Emu said:
The evil muffin of doom is mine though, it better not be one of them double chocolate muffin, adding chocolate flavouring to dough just messes up the muffin texture.
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair. I have gathered here before me the world's deadliest assassins, and yet each of you has failed to kill Austin Powers. That makes me angry. And when Dr. Evil gets angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset... people DIE!"
add that to Dr. Horrible's pure awesomeness, steal some underwear and PROFIT!!!
(or build an EVIL LASER and watch the world suffer)
add that to Dr. Horrible's pure awesomeness, steal some underwear and PROFIT!!!
(or build an EVIL LASER and watch the world suffer)
Tell everyone the cake is a lie. That will cause world chaos, the result being you can easily take over the world.
1. Win the hearts of millions by writing and acting in political drama.
2. Run for president.
3. Get elected. (if murder is necessary, make sure to freeze any and all inquiries into the opposition's death.)
4. Cajole N. Korea until they launch their missiles, then subsequently jam them so that they land all over Asia and Europe.
5. Assassinate all members of congress, cabinet, and senate, therefore effectively staging a coup.
5. Declare Marshal law
6. Watch the world burn.
7. Rise from the ashes as the king of the world.
...I thought The Joker (DK) was right, by the way.
Top that, you brutal dictator wanna-be's.
2. Run for president.
3. Get elected. (if murder is necessary, make sure to freeze any and all inquiries into the opposition's death.)
4. Cajole N. Korea until they launch their missiles, then subsequently jam them so that they land all over Asia and Europe.
5. Assassinate all members of congress, cabinet, and senate, therefore effectively staging a coup.
5. Declare Marshal law
6. Watch the world burn.
7. Rise from the ashes as the king of the world.
...I thought The Joker (DK) was right, by the way.
Top that, you brutal dictator wanna-be's.
Find a Death Note, read the series so I don't make the same stupid mistakes. Take over the world from behind the scenes using someone as a puppet. Make them as mean as possible. Then one day, kill off the 'leader' thus saving the world from a dictator and be crowned new leader.
Simply wander around aimlessly telling people that I am a god until they get so sick of hearing it that they either shoot themselves or start doing anything to please me. Once that is done, all the possible rebels will have destroyed themselves, and I will be left with an army of people who will fear my annoying continuum of self-deism.
And maybe... Just maybe... I would bathe in cake to pronounce my victory over the world!
And maybe... Just maybe... I would bathe in cake to pronounce my victory over the world!
I will do this the truly evil way.
I will become the saviour.
I will be to one man who saves the planet, repeatedly.
I will always help old ladies get across the street.
I will always save the kitten that is stuck in the tree.
I will be the ultimate good guy.
Then I will, via back channels, hint to the people in charge that making me the 'dictator for life' of Earth would be a most excellent idea.
And once they suggest that to me, I will act embarrased and reluctant, but eventually cave in as they 'persuade' me that it would be for the good of all.
Then I will be a good ruler, I will make sure my subjects are happy and content.
Then, once I have the secret of immortality, discovered for me by the amazing scientists wanting for me to live forever and be their protector, I will shoulder that great responsibility with apparent reluctance.
I will wait until they discover the secrets of ultimate brainwashing and loyalty programming, to re-educate all the criminals of course.
Then I will disband all the military factions not fanatically loyal to me. After all, with no war, what use is there for anything but a token force...
Then I will brainwash every police, soldier, arms dealer and armed citizen to be absolutely loyal to me, while simultaneously killing off the scientists who discovered these amazing technologies (I will also kill their families, their cousins, their pet dogs and their best friends and send the corpses for a one-way trip to the sun. No pesky ghosts shall remain that way)
Then I shall throw away my disguise and rule with an iron fist. But, I will never ever make all my subjects mere slaves. They shall be allowed to own things, they shall be allowed to have families and grow children. A happy subject with something left to lose is far less likely to revolt...
I will become the saviour.
I will be to one man who saves the planet, repeatedly.
I will always help old ladies get across the street.
I will always save the kitten that is stuck in the tree.
I will be the ultimate good guy.
Then I will, via back channels, hint to the people in charge that making me the 'dictator for life' of Earth would be a most excellent idea.
And once they suggest that to me, I will act embarrased and reluctant, but eventually cave in as they 'persuade' me that it would be for the good of all.
Then I will be a good ruler, I will make sure my subjects are happy and content.
Then, once I have the secret of immortality, discovered for me by the amazing scientists wanting for me to live forever and be their protector, I will shoulder that great responsibility with apparent reluctance.
I will wait until they discover the secrets of ultimate brainwashing and loyalty programming, to re-educate all the criminals of course.
Then I will disband all the military factions not fanatically loyal to me. After all, with no war, what use is there for anything but a token force...
Then I will brainwash every police, soldier, arms dealer and armed citizen to be absolutely loyal to me, while simultaneously killing off the scientists who discovered these amazing technologies (I will also kill their families, their cousins, their pet dogs and their best friends and send the corpses for a one-way trip to the sun. No pesky ghosts shall remain that way)
Then I shall throw away my disguise and rule with an iron fist. But, I will never ever make all my subjects mere slaves. They shall be allowed to own things, they shall be allowed to have families and grow children. A happy subject with something left to lose is far less likely to revolt...
I would buy an island deep in the ocean and start a marijuana busines, my product would be in every grain of wheat in the world. That way everybody will be high 24/7 and I will take over some political position while the world is in stony chaos, I will advance in to the position of governor and eventually candidate president. I will win all of the votes by making marijuana legal, destroying the capital system by eliminating money and introducing a new system that makes everybody equal, but still rich and happy, also I will execute Miley Cyrus. With all the world happy I will inplant chips in their brains so my administration knows what everybody thinks. Then I will put even stupider, mind-rotting, brain-deteriorating programs on TV and everyone will be even stupider then now. I will put maximum effort in the exploration and colonization of Space, soon taking over a large portion of the Galaxy. During the colonization of Space I will task every scientist in the world with the invention of the Fountain of youth and distibute it only to important people and myself. Then I will make Blizzard make Diablo and Starcraft games for me every year. Then my plan ends and I play Diablo and Starcraft Forever!
PS: Muhahahaha!
PS: Muhahahaha!
STAR WARS DID IT STAR WARS DID IT!!SakSak said:
Well, for one, I would only hire stupid minions in huge amounts, no super-powerful beasts that might rebel and attack me, I would avoid stupid traps like pools full of acid or sharks.
Oh, and if there was someone stronger and more evil than myself, I wouldn't provoke him at every point, even if he will need my power/help. Because some day, he wouldn't. And when it would come to the end of our quest, I would get shot in the legs and eaten by millions of spiders/crushed by falling rocks/sacrificed to a monster/left behind to hold off enemies.
http://www.proft.org/tips/evil.html this list is quite good and is basically what I would to but I'm to lazy to write it.
Although I will be very tempted to toss off the clever one liner before escaping.
Although I will be very tempted to toss off the clever one liner before escaping.
You just rhymed, with a muffin? holy shit thats some skill, seriously man your fucking pimping.coxafloppin said:
Roses are red
Voilets are blue
Gimma that Muffin
or i'll beat you
no wait, thats not good.
Sans the immortality, this sounds strikingly similar to the beginning of the USSR. o_oSakSak said: