The Customer Is Always Wrong

[catboytrades]

I used to work at a Japanese Hibachi restaurant, you know, the kind where the chefs cook your food right in front of you and do fun things like twirling their knives around and such.

Once a night, it was always guaranteed that there would be one fucktard who would ask for a burger and fries.

If you want a burger and fries, go to a Burger King or something.

Shit, who not just make it. It's prob easier to do then more of the other stuff you'd cook. Not that big of an deal. Sometimes, a man just needs his burger, and you gotta respect that.

So by that logic I should be able to walk into a subway and demand that I get a T-bone steak? I mean you gotta respect that right?

Precisely. I don't see a lot of hibachi restaurants keeping sesame seed buns on hand; most people are smart enough to figure out that if you go to a Japanese restaurant, you're gonna get Japanese food. Ga-ga-gasp!

Wait now I am confused here... lets go over this slowly...

So if I go to a Japanese Food Restaurant... I should expect... Linguine with meatballs right?
And if I go to olive garden... I should expect....a Big MAC!

Wait... no... I think I will get this... just need time.

Go slow, don't hurt yourself. Here, try this. *hands pop-up book*

Dude. I bow to you. That was awesome. lol

 

[dantheman931]

I used to work at a Japanese Hibachi restaurant, you know, the kind where the chefs cook your food right in front of you and do fun things like twirling their knives around and such.

Once a night, it was always guaranteed that there would be one fucktard who would ask for a burger and fries.

If you want a burger and fries, go to a Burger King or something.

Shit, who not just make it. It's prob easier to do then more of the other stuff you'd cook. Not that big of an deal. Sometimes, a man just needs his burger, and you gotta respect that.

So by that logic I should be able to walk into a subway and demand that I get a T-bone steak? I mean you gotta respect that right?

Precisely. I don't see a lot of hibachi restaurants keeping sesame seed buns on hand; most people are smart enough to figure out that if you go to a Japanese restaurant, you're gonna get Japanese food. Ga-ga-gasp!

Wait now I am confused here... lets go over this slowly...

So if I go to a Japanese Food Restaurant... I should expect... Linguine with meatballs right?
And if I go to olive garden... I should expect....a Big MAC!

Wait... no... I think I will get this... just need time.

Go slow, don't hurt yourself. Here, try this. *hands pop-up book*

Dude. I bow to you. That was awesome. lol

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week. Remember to tip your waitress.

 

[Makon]

This thread has now become my after-work [Gamestop] reading material, for it reminds me that I am not the only one who gets what can only be describe as the dumbest people on this earth,

Like I said, I work at Gamestop. Our big deal? We sell used games and allow trade ins [Not sure the UK equals]. Now, when we have a game on the wall for display, it's just the box, no game is inside on both New and Used games. All the disks are either behind the counter, or in our back room if we don't have the room for them. It's not uncommon that we get some people that trade in a massive collection of games [15+ games classifies as 'Massive' to me], cleaning out the games library at home and such. So, this one guy comes in about a year ago, and he's got a full-blown Duffel-Bag with him, jacked full of PS2 games. I got stuck with it, oh well, it'll take awhile. I pop open the first, as the guy asks to trade towards Store Credit. No disk inside the case, it happens, sometimes people misplace a game or two. Next one, no game, same with the one after that, after that, and after that one.

Me > "Sir, there are no games in any of the cases. We can not accept these cases on trade in."
Dumbass > "Why not?"
M > "Because these cases have no games inside them, there's nothing we can sell here."
D > "Bullshit, all the cases on your walls here have nothing in them either!"
M > "Sir, those cases were all traded with their respective games, which are either behind the counter, or in our back room until a customer purchases them." Okay, now we've crossed uber-dumb...
D > "I don't F***ing believe it, I was told over the phone to bring my stuff down for a trade in value, and now you won't give me one!"

So, now he walks over to the 360 wall and grabs the box for a new copy of Halo Wars and throws it on the counter.

D > "What do you call that? There's no game inside!"

I open the drawer right infront of me, pull out a sealed copy of Halo Wars, and for good measure I pull out the CD for the displayed copy of the game too and place them on the counter.

D > "What the f--- is this?
M > As I am holding the sealed copy of the game, "This is a new copy of Halo Wars," now I grab the CD for the display, "And this is the disk for that displayed copy."

He stormed out after that.

We also get prank calls all the time for Battle Toads [Game for the original NES, 1991]. My best comeback to one yet had to be...

"Let me check for a moment sir, one moment." *type randomly on the keyboard* "Okay Sir? It looks like it is coming out on the 9th of June." [6/9 on US calender...remove that / from there.] Their reply? "...Uh....*click*"

Another one of my favorite prank calls to us had to be from this one crazy women that was phone-stalking one of our Employees. She'd never come down in person...just kept calling looking for him like it was a dating phone-line. So, she called one day and I answered.

Me: "Thank you for calling Gamestop, this is Ethan, how I can I help you?"
Her: "Hi, is --- in today?" I recognized it was her now.
Me: Actually, he was transferred just recently to another store, perhaps I can help you instead?"
Her: "Nah, it's actually something personal, do you have the number to their new store?"
Me: "Certainly, one moment." I pulled out a piece of paper I had to write something on earlier today, but the ad on the front had a phone number. I give her the number on it.
Her: "Thank you so much, bye." *click*
My Co-Worker who she was stalking: "Was that who I think it was?"
Me: "Yup."
Co-worker: "...what number did you just give her?"
Me: "Number is from this ad for the City Morgue."

She never called again, .

I got more stories, I'll drum them up later.

 

[dantheman931]

I got more stories, I'll drum them up later.

Please do.

Sadly, the only prank call I ever got was some asshat asking to be transferred to the dildo department. It was late and I was tired, or I would have come up with a better comeback than just hanging up on him. (But knowing Wal-Mart, I probably would have gotten fired for not transferring him.)

 

[PsykoDragon]

I got in a cab to go to work today.

Me: To the Mumtaz (literally means "excellent") newspaper offices plz.
Cabbie: Does it have to be "the excellent"? why not simply "the good"?
Me: -------____________-------

 

[Beowolf99]

If it's any consolation, nothing's changed. My time in retail was 30 years ago, working at a rural USA Radio Shack. Allowing for differences in local accents and technology, these sound much like the stories I used to tell my friends after work there.

Half the people we meet have below-average intelligence, after all.

 

[qball8600]

I work in a call centre for Vodafone in the UK. They have the stupidest customers I have ever spoke to, including arrogant (You get the odd person wanting 12p refunded to their bank account) and crazy, my work mate had a customer that was convinced that "they" are after her and "they" are spying on her and what she rings/text.

 

[dantheman931]

I work in a call centre for Vodafone in the UK. They have the stupidest customers I have ever spoke to, including arrogant (You get the odd person wanting 12p refunded to their bank account) and crazy, my work mate had a customer that was convinced that "they" are after her and "they" are spying on her and what she rings/text.

Wouldn't you think the best way to get "them" off your trail is to not own a cell phone?

 

[dantheman931]

Speaking of crazies, a lady in a wheelchair once came in and asked if we sold funnels. I asked her what kind she needed, figuring I'd just have to either (a) sell her one for any of a half-dozen automotive chemicals, or (b) point her toward the food-safe ones, but no. What she said was, "I need one I can douche with." She then spent the next ten minutes telling me all about her medical history in excruciating detail, things that would give Charles Manson the cold sweats. By the time she was done, I wanted nothing more than to take one of said funnels and pour a healthy dollop of drain cleaner into each of my ears.

 

[Mekado]

Speaking of crazies, a lady in a wheelchair once came in and asked if we sold funnels. I asked her what kind she needed, figuring I'd just have to either (a) sell her one for any of a half-dozen automotive chemicals, or (b) point her toward the food-safe ones, but no. What she said was, "I need one I can douche with." She then spent the next ten minutes telling me all about her medical history in excruciating detail, things that would give Charles Manson the cold sweats. By the time she was done, I wanted nothing more than to take one of said funnels and pour a healthy dollop of drain cleaner into each of my ears.

haha nice!

Just got a call from a customer yelling at me because he didn't bring his Ac adapter for his laptop as the hotel, and since we advertise WIRELESS internet he thought we could magically send electrical power to his laptop and his dead battery...

Yeah,no that's not how it works...
Customer is litteraly screaming and threatening to sue us for misrepresentation, i'd love to see that.He also repeats constantly that this other hotel he goes to does it (power-over-air? yeah sure buddy...)

 

[dantheman931]

Speaking of crazies, a lady in a wheelchair once came in and asked if we sold funnels. I asked her what kind she needed, figuring I'd just have to either (a) sell her one for any of a half-dozen automotive chemicals, or (b) point her toward the food-safe ones, but no. What she said was, "I need one I can douche with." She then spent the next ten minutes telling me all about her medical history in excruciating detail, things that would give Charles Manson the cold sweats. By the time she was done, I wanted nothing more than to take one of said funnels and pour a healthy dollop of drain cleaner into each of my ears.

haha nice!

Just got a call from a customer yelling at me because he didn't bring his Ac adapter for his laptop as the hotel, and since we advertise WIRELESS internet he thought we could magically send electrical power to his laptop and his dead battery...

Yeah,no that's not how it works...
Customer is litteraly screaming and threatening to sue us for misrepresentation, i'd love to see that.He also repeats constantly that this other hotel he goes to does it (power-over-air? yeah sure buddy...)

Actually, you can do that. All you need is a high-powered microwave beam; you'd probably vaporize everything in the room, but that's a small price to pay for wireless power, right? lmao (If this ever comes up again, you have my permission to ask the customer if he wants you to do that, btw.)

 

[NJ]

Can't we all just get along and live by Microsoft's rules?

"YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!" - Perfect answer for every query.

 

[Frank_Sinatra_]

So by that logic I should be able to walk into a subway and demand that I get a T-bone steak? I mean you gotta respect that right?

I admit to never working in a Japanese restaurant in my long tenure in the business, however I did start out as a busboy for a local Chinese food restaurant, and we always had ground beef, AND people would ask for burgers. Not a bad business move to have some on hand, especially with the bar. And customers were not idiots for asking. Any great food joint is going to go above and beyond what customers expect of them, and if you ever look in the fridge or freezer of any restaurant, you're gonna see some shit that doesn't get use quite often, but it is there. Now, I wouldn't go to a hibachi restaurant "looking" for a burger, but if I didn't see anything else I liked, I might try to order one. And, if the people have it, they get my money. If they don't, they don't get squat.

Burger ain't hard to make. Probably easier then half the other things they have to make. If they got some beef, they should cook it up. And if they don't, well, that man who just wanted a burger might not be coming back. Is that a good enough reason to keep some frozen ground beef in a freezer, or is that too much, because it's cheap and lasts a long time. Always be prepared for that one customer, guy.

I mean shit, imagine if they made that guy a burger, he'd probably go tell his friends, "Hey, I went to this Japanese restaurant, I didn't see much I liked but they were nice enough to make me a burger!". That's easy publicity.

Yeah, I am going to go into a restaurant that charges over $12 for their CHEAPEST meal and order a BURGER! That is FUCKING RETARDED! NO BURGER will EVER be worth twelve dollars, and if the guy had to go to special lengths to learn to prepare the meals the way they are taught to. Imagine that your chef is flipping the shrimp and cutting their tails off in the highly artistic fashion, and then he just turns a burger over... Nope, kills the whole show. That is the whole point of going out to the hibachi restaurant, not just the good food, but the show and atmosphere.

You know I saw a hamburger for $150, gourmet restaurant as you can assume.

 

[Sneaky Paladin]

So by that logic I should be able to walk into a subway and demand that I get a T-bone steak? I mean you gotta respect that right?

I admit to never working in a Japanese restaurant in my long tenure in the business, however I did start out as a busboy for a local Chinese food restaurant, and we always had ground beef, AND people would ask for burgers. Not a bad business move to have some on hand, especially with the bar. And customers were not idiots for asking. Any great food joint is going to go above and beyond what customers expect of them, and if you ever look in the fridge or freezer of any restaurant, you're gonna see some shit that doesn't get use quite often, but it is there. Now, I wouldn't go to a hibachi restaurant "looking" for a burger, but if I didn't see anything else I liked, I might try to order one. And, if the people have it, they get my money. If they don't, they don't get squat.

Burger ain't hard to make. Probably easier then half the other things they have to make. If they got some beef, they should cook it up. And if they don't, well, that man who just wanted a burger might not be coming back. Is that a good enough reason to keep some frozen ground beef in a freezer, or is that too much, because it's cheap and lasts a long time. Always be prepared for that one customer, guy.

I mean shit, imagine if they made that guy a burger, he'd probably go tell his friends, "Hey, I went to this Japanese restaurant, I didn't see much I liked but they were nice enough to make me a burger!". That's easy publicity.

Yeah, I am going to go into a restaurant that charges over $12 for their CHEAPEST meal and order a BURGER! That is FUCKING RETARDED! NO BURGER will EVER be worth twelve dollars, and if the guy had to go to special lengths to learn to prepare the meals the way they are taught to. Imagine that your chef is flipping the shrimp and cutting their tails off in the highly artistic fashion, and then he just turns a burger over... Nope, kills the whole show. That is the whole point of going out to the hibachi restaurant, not just the good food, but the show and atmosphere.

You know I saw a hamburger for $150, gourmet restaurant as you can assume.

150$? for a simple hamburger? NO food is that good

 

[chronobreak]

Yeah, I am going to go into a restaurant that charges over $12 for their CHEAPEST meal and order a BURGER! That is FUCKING RETARDED! NO BURGER will EVER be worth twelve dollars, and if the guy had to go to special lengths to learn to prepare the meals the way they are taught to. Imagine that your chef is flipping the shrimp and cutting their tails off in the highly artistic fashion, and then he just turns a burger over... Nope, kills the whole show. That is the whole point of going out to the hibachi restaurant, not just the good food, but the show and atmosphere.

Burgers for over 12 dollars are pretty commonplace, especially when you get used to business lunches and the like, but I think a lot of people are missing the point here. The restaurant business can be simplified to one important factor - proper preparation. You need to have enough seats, enough staff, and enough food. Now, all I was saying is a pound of ground beef is 3 bucks, get a couple and that's six, and if you freeze it, it stays good for lets say 2-3 months. Don't even get sesame seed buns or anything, just bread, you know why? Because you're a Japanese restaurant! But, if I went there with my buds, didn't see anything on the menu I liked, and you TRIED your best to make me happy, that's what the food service industry is about. Am I really to believe there's nobody else here that has worked at a restaurant and not made somebody something totally out of the ordinary?

 

[Sneaky Paladin]

Well lets stop talking about burgers and stuff like that and get back to idiot customer discussion. I NEED it

 

[BadgeMan]

Any body who works in an electrical store or supermarket ever get customers who return kettles complaining the base is missing but it always turns out to be packaged inside the kettle itself?
Timeless classic I say!

Asking for I.D always ensures some fun times, especially as we have just introduced a think 25 policy... yikes! I keep promising myself next time i'm on night shift if anyone is cheeky when I ask for I.D I'm just closing the cigarette shutter... always promises...