This reminds me of a thread a couple of months back where a girl admitted on this site to being a bully, and she found out that the person she and others mercilessly taunted had gone and committed suicide. The OP of that thread then went on about how she felt no remorse for her own actions and felt that people going to the funeral were hypocrites and idiots. After many of us reported her and informed mods, and called her out on her bitchiness, she was permabanned.
In that case, the entire Escapist community was ranged against her. This thread could not be any more different. I think a lot of people, myself included, will support you here. I was bullied myself at school, and though as far as I'm aware none of the bullies have died, it only stopped when I managed to get one of them expelled for drug-dealing. He was the ringleader. And I can safely say that five years on, if he and I met in the street, he would probably resort to the same bullying tactics as before. Maybe even worse considering he was expelled from school because of me. If he was to suddenly drop dead, or be killed, or whatever, I sure as hell wouldn't be happy, but I wouldn't be sad either. I just wouldn't care. He was a complete and utter bastard who loved to torment me as much as he could, and tried to get others to do the same. If he was to die I would be completely indifferent, in fact the only people I would have any shred of sympathy for would be his family, and that's because at the end of the day I'm still only human.
I guess what I'm trying to say here, OP, is that you are perfectly justified in feeling the way you do, and that doesn't make you a bad person. If it does then I myself would be on a one way ticket to hell. I have to say, OP, I agree with you completely. There is no reason why you should have to feel sorry for the death of someone who, quite frankly, probably wouldn't care if you were the one who had died.
Been talking on and off about this with those few mates who actually aren't affected by this, as they have no idea who the guy is, and I must say, I've become quite content with the whole thing already, and it's mostly thanks to all the backup from the Escapist.
I have great sympathy for the family, and his best friend, who apparently were with him when everything went down, and who brought him to the hospital. That guy is probably going to come down with a nasty case of post-traumatic stress...
And I must say though, by the sound of your own bully story, we've dealt with practically the same guy. Only problem was, I didn't have the balls to take it as far as you, and actually do something. Don't think that's expected of a 14 year old girl. But still, way to go!
The whole 'getting the guy expelled' thing isn't as epic as it sounds on paper (paper? Forum post? Comment? Whatever... ). It was at the end of Year 10, someone got caught in school with cannabis and so our entire year group was investigated, I happened to find out that one of the dealers was this bully so I just told my head of year. Next I knew, the guy had been kicked out .
On another note, I just noticed on your profile that you're from the UK too. Just saying, but it seems a little suspicious that this guy was shot, since we do have one of the most regulated gun cultures in the world, after all. Makes me think he might have been involved in something dodgy, unless it was just a 'wrong place, wrong time' thing like you hear about on the news...
People take death to seriously, I blame superstitions. If you don't like someone in life, they don't magically become "allright dudes" after death. Fuck no. Nobody deserves to be mourned just for existing.
Same thing happened to me. No your not wrong in not feeling bad for the bully dieing, but what I beleive would be a normal reaction would be feeling sad for the family's loss. So in summary screw the dead asshole but sorry mom for your son being dead.
I once had a kid I knew in High School die. He wasn't a bully, he wasn't any particular brand of asshole, but I just never had a good experience around the guy. He was like a restaurant that you want to like, you've given it lots of chances... it just sucked.
When he died, the first thought I had was "Good." Until this post, never another thought on the matter.
If he was a off-jack to you, likely he was to others too and your strength to feel apathy on his passing is more a sign of your personal strength than it is weakness for not feeling or expressing what those around you are.
If I found out my bully was killed (he probably was, considering where I'm from) I'd make no bones about it, I'd be cheerful that the sucker-punching bastard was no longer wasting our precious air.
Indifference is also a healthy reaction. Feigning sadness over the "tragic loss" of your childhood tormentor? Oh please. I hate it when people pretend to care about someone after they die, when they either loathed them in life, or didn't give them another thought. It's so bloody hypocritical.
i just have to say that your feelings are understandable and you seem to be reacting to those feelings in the right way. Just keep in mind that people may be offended by your opinion, so be respectful.
For example, people don't support our troops over in the middle east. That's great, you're entitled to your opinion, but don't go to a dead soldier's funeral and berate him in front of his grieving family.
If I found out my bully was killed (he probably was, considering where I'm from) I'd make no bones about it, I'd be cheerful that the sucker-punching bastard was no longer wasting our precious air.
Indifference is also a healthy reaction. Feigning sadness over the "tragic loss" of your childhood tormentor? Oh please. I hate it when people pretend to care about someone after they die, when they either loathed them in life, or didn't give them another thought. It's so bloody hypocritical.
A few years ago our house was broken into by a young lad maybe 3-4 years older than myself. A few weeks later he was also caught breaking into the house along the street. The Police were on a first name basis with him ffs. He also had quite a "name" in my area.
About a year later I heard he'd been killed...trying to evade police on the back of a motorbike no less. Now I was still only around 15, but then, like now, I felt the thieving little git got exactly what he desevred. Karmafied.
No, there are very few of us who are unaware that people die, if you felt nothing positive about the person I don't see why you should feel sorrow once he's dead.
A girl died who was in my class for several years died a few years back from cancer. I didn't feel any sorrow because she had never once made any attempt to be nice to me, though I had never wronged her (and I'm generally nice to all people). I certainly wasn't happy, I just felt nothing. Much like when someone famous dies who you don't really care about.
There's nothing wrong with you, but I can't understand why your friends who, although not liking him, are attending his funeral. It's all about karma, he was a horrible person, he deserved what he got.
This reminds me of a thread a couple of months back where a girl admitted on this site to being a bully, and she found out that the person she and others mercilessly taunted had gone and committed suicide. The OP of that thread then went on about how she felt no remorse for her own actions and felt that people going to the funeral were hypocrites and idiots. After many of us reported her and informed mods, and called her out on her bitchiness, she was permabanned.
In that case, the entire Escapist community was ranged against her. This thread could not be any more different. I think a lot of people, myself included, will support you here. I was bullied myself at school, and though as far as I'm aware none of the bullies have died, it only stopped when I managed to get one of them expelled for drug-dealing. He was the ringleader. And I can safely say that five years on, if he and I met in the street, he would probably resort to the same bullying tactics as before. Maybe even worse considering he was expelled from school because of me. If he was to suddenly drop dead, or be killed, or whatever, I sure as hell wouldn't be happy, but I wouldn't be sad either. I just wouldn't care. He was a complete and utter bastard who loved to torment me as much as he could, and tried to get others to do the same. If he was to die I would be completely indifferent, in fact the only people I would have any shred of sympathy for would be his family, and that's because at the end of the day I'm still only human.
I guess what I'm trying to say here, OP, is that you are perfectly justified in feeling the way you do, and that doesn't make you a bad person. If it does then I myself would be on a one way ticket to hell. I have to say, OP, I agree with you completely. There is no reason why you should have to feel sorry for the death of someone who, quite frankly, probably wouldn't care if you were the one who had died.
Been talking on and off about this with those few mates who actually aren't affected by this, as they have no idea who the guy is, and I must say, I've become quite content with the whole thing already, and it's mostly thanks to all the backup from the Escapist.
I have great sympathy for the family, and his best friend, who apparently were with him when everything went down, and who brought him to the hospital. That guy is probably going to come down with a nasty case of post-traumatic stress...
And I must say though, by the sound of your own bully story, we've dealt with practically the same guy. Only problem was, I didn't have the balls to take it as far as you, and actually do something. Don't think that's expected of a 14 year old girl. But still, way to go!
The whole 'getting the guy expelled' thing isn't as epic as it sounds on paper (paper? Forum post? Comment? Whatever... ). It was at the end of Year 10, someone got caught in school with cannabis and so our entire year group was investigated, I happened to find out that one of the dealers was this bully so I just told my head of year. Next I knew, the guy had been kicked out .
On another note, I just noticed on your profile that you're from the UK too. Just saying, but it seems a little suspicious that this guy was shot, since we do have one of the most regulated gun cultures in the world, after all. Makes me think he might have been involved in something dodgy, unless it was just a 'wrong place, wrong time' thing like you hear about on the news...
We'll call it paper for now.
That is still pretty awesome though. I never had the courage to say anything about anything during my school years. While I'm the same quiet person today, I would not be able to keep my mouth shut about some of the stuff I've been through, if it happened to me now. I'm sticking with the "go you!"
Actually... I'm not really FROM the UK. I live here now. But I'm originally from Denmark. Where there's a gang war going on, and as far as I can tell, that's what got to him as well. That's still no good though!
What do you guys think? Am I a horrible human being, for feeling so indifferent to his death?
And what about you guys? I think most of us has had our very own bully, and some of us might not even be rid of them yet. How are you supposed to react, and how would you react?
I don't think you are a bad person. Both things you have said are true, he made your life less enjoyable by his constant taunts and it is a tragedy that someone has been murdered. It is perfectly understandable that you don't feel upset about his death, but even though you disliked him you still question your feelings. You are a good, humane person. That's my opinion.
The fact that you are concerned about a lack of concern already says that you at least have a conscience. You are worried at your lack of sympathy, So you know that something is working properly in your emotion drive. This isn't wrong and saying "served him right" would only just be pushing it a little.
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). It was at the end of Year 10, someone got caught in school with cannabis and so our entire year group was investigated, I happened to find out that one of the dealers was this bully so I just told my head of year. Next I knew, the guy had been kicked out 
