Everybody dies. You can't feel sad for all of them. Save your empathy for some who has used their life to earn it. Death does not forgive a guy being a douche.
The death of a bully
- Thread starter Nicolefranklin
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I would be indifferent to his death publically, and maybe crack a smile in private.
Master the phrase "I'm sorry for your loss".
Master the phrase "I'm sorry for your loss".
You are not a bad person for feeling nothing at the passing of your personal bully. I think it would be better though if you chose not to attend his viewing and/or burial since you and he were...well, bully-and-victim. It could bring up too much bad blood and while I am sure you wouldn't make a scene I just think it would be a waste for you personally. If you really feel obligated though, remember him in the way that feels right for you as funerals, memorials and other such services are really more for the living anyway. He may have been your bully but he was also a son to somebody.
I personally would avoid the viewing/ burial. I wouldn't want to think about my bullies but then, I have been a bully as well and know there are people who would want to avoid my inevitable funeral. I would be curious about the circumstances surrounding the death though but I wouldn't vocalize the thought that s/he brought it upon themselves
I personally would avoid the viewing/ burial. I wouldn't want to think about my bullies but then, I have been a bully as well and know there are people who would want to avoid my inevitable funeral. I would be curious about the circumstances surrounding the death though but I wouldn't vocalize the thought that s/he brought it upon themselves
Question; why should you care? Some dude you used to know is dead. I wouldn't expect an outpouring of grief, regardless of how much of a tool the guy was. If he were a close friend or at least someone you'd remained in contact with, being upset would be appropriate, but just some guy? Nah.
Our society suffers from far too much simulated grief. You only have to look at Princess Diana or Michael Jackson to see that, or any highly-publicised case in which child died. I read a study on it a while ago, and the verdict was that people don't really give a shit, but want other people to think they are sensitive, caring individuals, so they'd act like paid mourners from Victorian funerals. The end result is a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth, a lot of over-the-top fake woe for something the individual doesn't really give a damn about but wants to make a show of.
In fact, your reaction is perfectly normal.
Our society suffers from far too much simulated grief. You only have to look at Princess Diana or Michael Jackson to see that, or any highly-publicised case in which child died. I read a study on it a while ago, and the verdict was that people don't really give a shit, but want other people to think they are sensitive, caring individuals, so they'd act like paid mourners from Victorian funerals. The end result is a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth, a lot of over-the-top fake woe for something the individual doesn't really give a damn about but wants to make a show of.
In fact, your reaction is perfectly normal.
Thanks, you have to be so careful nowadays, and I really tried not to make it sound like 'dammit, this blind guy is making my day harder, why can't he go and be blind elsewhere!'Nicolefranklin said:
But, when every member of staff feels the same way, and it takes about 2 visits for new employees to go from 'but you can't treat him like that!' to ' oh fuck, here comes that twat again', you know you're probably right. It got to a point where ironically, the last person to see him, would be the only one left to serve him. You'd know he'd come in because suddenly everyone else had got really busy elsewhere, grrr.
No, if someone was a dick then them dying doesn't make them any less of one.
I'd be exactly the same, I wouldn't even ponder the fact that I was apathetic about his death.
I'd be exactly the same, I wouldn't even ponder the fact that I was apathetic about his death.
Maybe you do feel something. It just takes time sometimes. Even if you don't, I don't think you should worry. Just don't tell the bully's family that you don't feel anything. Trust me, that does not end well.
Sidenote: I know a couple of previous class"mates" who have gotten into a shedload of trouble. One of them is apparently in prison. They used to bully me, and if they were to die, I would not be very surprised but I don't think I would cry my eyes out either.
Sidenote: I know a couple of previous class"mates" who have gotten into a shedload of trouble. One of them is apparently in prison. They used to bully me, and if they were to die, I would not be very surprised but I don't think I would cry my eyes out either.
No it's not wrong as you weren't exactly the best of buds. But what would be wrong if you was exstatic above his passing.
If i were you i would be glad hes dead. When i was 11 one of my teachers who was a horrible bully died. Didnt give a shit. This may sound cold but i really dont see life as some precious and sacred thing. There are 6.8 billion human beings on this planet. If some prick i hated dies im not going to shed a tear.
There was a guy at my junior school when I was eight who, amongst many other things, was responsible for me chipping my front tooth. He was sent down for life for murder a few years back. It's desperately sad for the person he killed, obviously; but there was a satisfaction that the bastard was finally locked up given the memory of his terrorising the entire class.
You shouldn't feel obliged to feel compassion when there is none, so no - don't feel bad.
You shouldn't feel obliged to feel compassion when there is none, so no - don't feel bad.
Death in general is sad but I really cant blame you for feeling this way if he was that terrible to you
He sounded like a tool. Good riddance. I've dealt with so many bullies I simply have no sympathy.