The Depressing Thread

[theboombody]

I wont go into my issues. But im 37 and it feels like im living just to live. I love movies and i would love a kid and a wife. Just life has put me on pause for last 4 years.

match.com made all the difference in the world for me

 

[SuperSuperSuperGuy]

Not only that, but I'm quickly approaching the end of my first year studying at university, and to be perfectly honest, if this is what my first year was like, I don't think I'll be able to deal with it in the coming years. If working is anything close to the amount of stress and sleep deprivation that school has been so far, I just want to lock myself in my room and dissolve into nothing. I can't deal with this level of physical and mental exertion.

Question: has this year helped you discover your talents in an academic field? Unless your field is intrinsically taxing such as medicine or engineering, finding something that you're passionate about will bring a lot of relief.

Funny that you should mention engineering. I'm actually studying to be a computer engineer, hoping to branch off into software engineering should I make it that far. I've always been intrigued by computers, and while I do want to know about the hardware and how it works, I've always been a bit more interested in making computers do things for me and other people through programming and software.

In regards to talents, the only thing that I discovered is that while I still really hate the subject, engineering economics is really easy. Other than that, I really haven't discovered any talents or passions that I didn't know about back in high school.

 

[Anti Nudist Cupcake]

19 year-old guy here. I don't have it nearly as bad as some people here.

I just don't see the point of anything anymore. I can't enjoy anything. I have some weird brain problem that can't be diagnosed and it is ruining my life. I wake up every morning with what feels like a random hangover, I can't stop sleeping, I'm always tired, my brain is always foggy, I can't pay attention in class (or in general) and I still don't have a driver's license, nor the confidence to get one because they are really strict at those in my country and I just don't have the mental clarity to be able to perform such a task as passing the test for one.
.

that sounds kind of like depression

Yeah, every time I try to do research about what might be wrong, depression pops up.

I'm going to see someone though so there is hope.

 

[Seydaman]

Sweet, depressing-ness is what I excel at

I'm paying tens of thousands for surgery to prevent death, while also having no social life or real passions to speak of

Life is great

 

[V4Viewtiful]

I'm a 23 year old black male, uni drop out that hasn't had a girlfriend yet or been kissed by another girl since he was 1 year old (there's a photo, it's adorable) and I still live with my parents. I'm not alone but I am lonely.

Thank gawd I have a job because once I stopped going to uni I've been bed ridden, sleeping till late in the afternoon for months on ends. My mum forced me into working in a Nursery as a volunteer. Never knew I liked kids.
it'll be 2 years now but I still felt like crap, the same emptiness I had since I was in secondary school which I thought vanished once I got to college. I was a pretty talented kid to, I could sing, dance had some artistic talent but school destroyed any passion for anything important. Right now i'm just pretending to a lot of people.

I'm not happy and I haven't been for a very long time.

 

[Barbas]

(Snip).

The presence of animals can help a lot, I hear. I wish I had a dog I could for walks. Walking helped me out when I was in a rough spot, since I didn't feel like I had the energy to do much else and at least it got me outside breathing fresh air back into my somewhat dusty lungs. It was quite easy back then for me to fall into a deep funk over the smallest of things, like a seemingly harmless comment or an appointment I didn't want to keep. A regular daily pattern seemed impossible to keep up, but starting small enough is the key. I stopped worrying about doing something for years and focused on taking care of each day separately. Sometimes I even fantasized to pass the time, anything to keep my mind occupied.

I am guessing you live in...Britain? I know people there! 'Tis is a silly place, but the hills and mountains are truly something to behold. If there are any nearby and you have a spare day, I heartily recommend walking up the side of them. It sounds ridiculous, but does wonders for the spirit. One of my relatives who lives in England takes frequent, unexpected trips to the local job center and walks around the place annoying the staff by literally doing their jobs for them - he's a funny man who evidently decided it was time for payback after he managed to land some work programming and mixing music.

...Yeah, every time I try to do research about what might be wrong, depression pops up.

I'm going to see someone though so there is hope.

There is indeed. I used to find that treating every day as if it was my first one on Earth helped me immeasurably. I shrank my world and its issues to an appropriate size that I could exercise a liberating amount of control over. It was the little things that propelled me along toward the bigger ones - the progress you make builds up into something you can be truly proud of.

Sweet, depressing-ness is what I excel at

I'm paying tens of thousands for surgery to prevent death, while also having no social life or real passions to speak of

Life is great

Well, the forum games group [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/The-Forum-Games-Group] is good a place to start as any - the people there are pretty easy-going. The same goes for a lot of people in this [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/Escapist-United-Nations-of-Pure-Fun] group. I don't recall the last time there was a harsh word spoken in either. They're a pretty accommodating bunch and it does me good to chat with them over the day.

Beyond that, science and technology-related news grasps my attention much more often than political stories do. There are few topics more hopeful by nature than that of space exploration.

Spoiler: No idea what this thing is, but hot diggity.

The richness of science fiction, as well, never leaves us short of wonderful things to daydream about.

(Snip).

Hey, that sounds pretty familiar! I used to practice the piano myself - a beautiful, majestic and versatile instrument. It's a shame I didn't continue with it, but I've been saving up a little bit of money to get a keyboard of some sort. Music is immeasurably helpful in getting out of a rough spot.

You are a lucky man if you can draw and paint - it helps the time pass by a lot more pleasantly. Doing sketches of anything that catches your eye is a good place to start. Before very long, you'll find yourself whiling away the hours beaming at a sketchpad or canvas! I doubt your talents have vanished. It is much more likely they simply remain dormant, which leaves you with the joy of rediscovering them to look forward to!

[HEADING=2]For All:[/HEADING]​

Spoiler: Good company.

 

[Total LOLige]

You know when I clicked this thread, I thought it would be like posting Smashing Pumpkins songs and stuff and not all this totally deep super depressing stuff.

OT:The following may come as a surprise and may not be characteristic of the Total LOLige you've come to know and love. I'm kind of just shit at life. I feel so disconnected to the world around me. My typical day is as follows, wake up at 4pm(7am if at college), shower, turn on PC listen to music or stare at my unplayed steam game library until 6pm(can't even be arsed to play games, unless it's a multiplayer game with friends). Eat dinner and repeat what I did from 4pm-6pm until around 7am then go to bed. Repeat.

I wish I could just go build a log cabin in the Amazon(warehouse or jungle, not fussed really).

 

[Kuilui]

Well, since no one here knows me this might be irrelevant but it's good to get it out, right? I am almost forty years old and suffer from bipolar disorder with a side order of generalized anxiety. Because of this and a rather odd work schedule, I have spent the vast majority of my life alone. My issues had pushed away most of the people who cared about me on this world by the time I was 30, and my job made sure I didn't have the social opportunities to meet new people (like I wouldn't have pushed them away, too). It was about the age of 30 I decided that I was too emotionally damaged to inflict myself on anyone else. It was around 34 when I decided that once the last person for whom I hold any significance for (my mother)dies, I will stop taking the meds that keep me here and allow my mental state to completely degrade to the point of ending it all. I have squandered all of the gifts I was given and am now a bitter, lonely man with no one to blame but myself. It's not like I can turn it around either. I've been isolated for so long, being around other people at all causes nothing but fear and frustration. It's not worth it to try and fix everything at this point, you know? Easier to quit. Like Doug Stanhope said, "If the movie sucked for the first hour and a half, chances are that it's not going to get great at the end."

Anyway, thanks for listening to my middle aged angst. Midlife crises for everyone!

Hey just wanted to let you know my mother is 50 who suffered from Bipolar disorder/severe alcoholism for a long LONG time. She almost died on a number of occasions. She finally left my abusive step dad in her car about 2 years ago which was the only thing she owned in the world and 80 dollars she stole from my bank account(Mind you she was still extremely mentally messed up at this point, she only stopped drinking about a year ago from this post). She drove upstate and through some miracle of fierce determination and god (She became very religious at this point) actually turned her life completely around in about two years. She has an amazing job, she rents a wonderful home and is currently dating a very nice man. I tell you this because it's never to late man. Seriously we all thought my mother was just going to die soon and at that point very few people cared, she had pushed us all away completely with her lunacy. I obviously don't know you or your story other than what you just said but I felt you may find that story interesting.

 

[Mossberg Shotty]

Snip

Good sir. I wouldn't make this thread if I didn't think there was hope for people such as you and myself. Just because the first 2/3 have been a let down doesn't mean you can't end on a high note. Feel free to inflict yourself on me whenever. Seriously, I want to hear your problems.

 

[karma9308]

It's the final two weeks before I graduate my tech school with an electronics diploma using the very last of the money my parents scraped together for my education... and I'm increasingly sure I took a course and career path I don't want.

Help.

If it makes you feel better (it probably won't) I was in this exact situation two years ago. I was going to be an accountant, and as graduation day approached, I realized that I only wanted to because my family wanted me to. It's taken several years of misery, but I'm on a path to try and get into med school, which is something I've wanted to be since I was a child...granted I'm worried I don't want to be a doc either, but..yeah. I do hope it works out for you, you've always seemed like a nice person.

You know what? I've got a third of bourbon in me, and I don't really care about restrictions (or typos). So here goes.

I was born. That was a miracle because my mom wanted an abortion since my conception took place on a one night stand on prom night. I was told more alcohol than a brewery was invovled. My father was disappointed with me early on and told me he wished he had a better son from the first I can remember of him. He only stopped beating me when I could finally fight back, and even then he fought me dirty so he choke me out.

My mom told me at 11 that she was done protecting me from him and I needed to stop being a child and be a man. I only had friends if I let people cheat off me in school and that continues even now in college. I graduated high school at 15 to try and become an adult early...that of course didn't work. Except for my step-mother, who now thought that could have sex with me. Though that never happened, she made my life misrable for fighting her. And if I ever tried to fight back, they threatened my sisters. I can't even off myself since apparently I just fuck that up to! My family tells me they only care about me because of my "potential" my friends all left me two years ago and told me to go kill myself. And there's agoo dchance that the only person I have ever cared about hates my guts.

So there. No one probably read all that BS but if you did, I'll send you a cookie over PM.

 

[Creator002]

I had to put my cat Trumador to sleep last April because he had gotten cancer in his stomach and was in a lot of pain because of it. I had him for three years and out of all the cats we own he was my favorite. He was a good cat.

We had to put our cat down about September last year due to an ulcer in her stomach (I think). She was having difficulty breathing because of it (which is why we took her to the vet in the first place). Didn't have the money to pay for experimental medication (which meant no guarantee of success) and no pet insurance either.
It wasn't that bad for me, since I wasn't too close to it, but it was still upsetting.

 

[username sucks]

I'm 17, about to barely graduate High School. Despite aceing almost every test in IB classes, I find no motivation so I barely pass because I don do work. My parents have been divorced since I was 9, so every week I pack up all my belongings and move houses, either to live with my racist, homophobi ect. mom who tries to rule over me or my dad and stepmom who have me over just so they don't have to pay as much child support.

I happened to get lucky and get 2 years free tuition at college, but I don't even want to go. After I graduate HS, I might just leave. My mom would be devestated, as I'm the only family she has left, but I can't stand her or the beliefs she tries to force on me. Still, I feel guilty that I plan on doing something that would hurt her so much.

Most of all, I'm just lost. I have no idea what I want to do or where I would go, and a big part of me likes that. I attempted suicide back in September because of the stress of trying to make myself into something that matters, so now I just don't care where I end up in life, be it as a millionaire or a hobo. A bit of good news is that since I stopped caring about things I became great at presenting and talking in front of people. It actually got me further in life by not caring than I ever got by slaving away like I did before.

Oh, and I'm not suicidal anymore. I guess that's good.

 

[TristanBelmont]

Every night I have a nightmare where my two best friends (who are both girls and both of whom I'm extremely protective of) have some pretty horrible things done to them and I'm forced to watch. Makes me not quite a happy camper.