Ganondorf read Phil's above post.
"It's not cannibalism. This is a human baby. I'm a Hylian, the ears make us different species, meaning it's not cannibalism, it's just infanticide." He said.
Iji opened a window and called down, "Hey, you two! You know, if you just drop your weapons and leave, we won't have to have you killed! But if you want to keep fighting, we'll be glad to have HK make you two into trophies."
Logician, that wouldn't be a Fire Emblem avatar would it? Or at least an OC based on an FE character? Because he looks a hell of a lot like Rutger's template. Same-ish hair, clothes are pretty similar. It just looks really similar.
"So, Ganondorf..." The Logician said. "What, exactly, is your problem with me and our friends here? And why do you insist on using swords to sort it out rather than just talking it over? What's your endgame, and why?"
"Loggy's being deep." Sam said. "You should listen. He's like...really wise. But not in a dickish sort of way, like the president or my mom, but in a cool, older brother sort of way."
"Is that annoying at all?" Ganondorf asked.
The Logician took a deep breath. "No, it's fine. It's not fine at all."
I believe it's Soren, though I wouldn't swear to it.
I'M SO GOOD AT NOT GETTING NINJA'D!!!!!!!!!!!! XD
@Fury+Is+Me: ...no. Don't make me kill you.
"Hey, Loggy, where'd that sentient computer of yourn go? What was it's name...Jerry?" Ragnorak asked, all innocent.
"..................JEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!" The Logician began to sob like a little girl, collapsing into a robed pile. Samantha smacked Rag over the head with the pizza box.
"OW! What? I didn't know it was such a touchy subject, Jeez..." Rag rubbed his head while he bit his other thumb. Making a seal, Rag drew a small white cube out of the air. Unfolding a keyboard and up a little holographic screen, he typed one command: copy'Helena.aim\rename'Jenny.aim\alterdisplaycolor'greenaxents.dsp
Slowly but surely, the air began to shimmer next to the cube, and before long another white cube appeared alongside the Aperture Science Artificial Intelligence Matrix-enabled Omnicube Portable Supercomputer (homebrew failsafe modules 79 through 1,346 enabled). The holographic port on the top of the new ASAIMOPS opened and a small, green, feminine figure appeared. "Hi! I'm an Aperture Science AIM, an Artificial Intelligence Matrix, operating on the newest Portable Supercomputer, the Omnicube! Please place your hand on the Aperture Science Diamond-Series Omnisensor for Confirmation of Aperture Science Employee Status!"
"Just a second, this bit's tricky...Log, I'm going to need you to stop crying temporarily and give me your hand...please and thank you." Rag took the Logician's still slightly damp hand and placed the bottom of the cube on his palm. "Alright...now everyone run like hell, 'cuz if I'm not fast enough, this place is going up in smoke." Rag unfolded the keyboard from the new ASAIMOPS and began typing furiously as the other one's display changed into a small, blue, feminine figure.
"ALERT: Unidentified Personnel Access! How you got your hands on this prototype module, we are not sure, but you will pay dearly for it! Prepare to be removed from the world of the intact! Thank you for youuuuuuu....tiiiiiiii..." The Jenny hologram flickered and skewed as Rag finished typing with a flourish.
"Helena..." Rag held a paw out towards the other ASAIMOPS as it shot out a cord with an "On it boss...preparing failsafe modules 79 through 1,346 for immediate file transfer."
Rag snagged the cord out of the air and snapped it into a port that slid open on the side of Jenny. Helena's circuitry stood relieved in blue as information traveled across the buss and down the wire, Rag's homebrew security files wiping out the original Aperture Science modules in Jenny as her circuitry stood relieved in green.
Leaning over, the Logician whispered in Rag's ear, "How the hell did you get an Aperture Science Portable Supercomputer and why did it just threaten to blow us all to kingdom come? And how the hell did it procreate?"
Looking at the Logician in surprise, Rag replied, "How do you think I got it? I stole it! And that's the same reason it threatened to blow us all to kingdom come: she could tell you weren't an Aperture Science employee...or at least, you weren't one when I stole Helena. I had to do a whole bunch of homebrew programming to get Helena to work right after I broke the security. Until I finished the last module, she'd suffer random crashes, data loss, mild conflagration, all kinds of stuff. I got it figured out eventually though. Unfortunately, I had to go vanilla to copy the thing, though that's one of the nicest features of this module, the Omnisensor can collect and assemble a working copy of itself. Not sure how they thought they were going to make money out of that..."
The blue ASAIMOPS generated it's holographic form again as the cord running from it to Jenny retracted. "Y'know boss, it's not very nice of you to leave me at home while you go gallivanting off all over the place. I have legs, you don't have to carry me." To prove the truth of these words, Helena's body unfolded eight hydraulic limbs, making it look like a white, cubic spider. Rag grinned sheepishly as the AIM introduced itself around, scuttling about the collection of heroes and villains.
"Well, log, I solve my problems with swords because I want to take over the world one day and, as heroes, your going to try to stop me no matter how much persuasion and reason I try, so words won't count, therefore, the only solution is tto CUT EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU DOWN LIKE A TRE IN THE MOST BRUTAL WAY POSSIBLE! AND GGRIND YOU BONES TO MAKE MY BREAD AND FEED YOU FLESH TO MY MINIONS OF CHOAS AS THE RAMPAE OVER THE STREETS AND OBLITERATE ALL WHO DARE NOT FOLLOW MY COMMAND AS I SIT ATOP MY THRONE AT MY CASTLE OF DARKNESS AND LAUGH AT THE SCENE OF DESTRUCTION!" Said Ganondorf. He noticed Helena scuttlin about. "Oh, great, more future tech." Ganondorf pull out his giant two handed dark sword and slammed it into the ground. "What ever happened to old warfare?"
YOU LITTLE NINJA NINJA! I'm assumin this is your role model.
That has to be the coolest thing I've ever seen. Why don't I have spider legs, Reg?
"You don-"
"What was that?" Rangorak had cut Loggy off, and was staring at him with eyes made of fire. "What the fuck was that?"
"That...was Ben, my laptop traveling companion. I got-"
"So you're telling me I copy every file on my computer, make a computer out of thin air, write a hundred million lines of code in under a second, and you already had one?"
"I...well...I..."
Ganondorf stood up, pumping his fist. "FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT...I'm sorry, I just really want to see all of you kill each other."
"How the hell did you not know Jerry left a backup?" Loggy asked.
"Maybe because you never told us?" Ranorak replied.
"I..well...Yes I did, do you think I hooked up to the internet with my long ebon hair! I introduced all of you to Ben ten minutes before the pizza got here! Think back!"
Flashbackaganza! said:
"No, no, no, I don't want a baby deer, I want a human young!"
"GRASS!"
"Peperoni, you've gotta have pepperoni!"
"You can't put grass on a pizza, it ruins the motor oil!"
"That doesn't even make any sense!"
Rangorak scratched his head. "Wait a minute, did you say you were going to order this online? How, I thought Je-your computer was destroyed."
"Well yeah, but Jerry left me a new one; Ben. Say hi, Ben."
Mmm?
"...these are my freinds. Say hello. Introduce yourself.
I'm sorry, did you say something?
Loggy rubbed his eyes. "Yes, I said that They broke out much sooner than expected, and we're gonna die. In fact, I'm dead right now. So are you. We're both in Hell. Great job, buddy."
Oh. Sorry, I was watching Bleach.
"Sorry, no Bleach in hell." Ganondorf said. "Just Married With Children."
OK, who said that? Who said that? I will poison your pizza you son of a *****, that's nothing to joke around about!
"Yeah, like you've got the balls to do that."
Steel ball bearings, you fucknut.
"Guess what else? They're smaller than a pea!"
"Guys, guys, please..." The Logician turned himself, separating Ganondorf and Ben. "Violence doesn't solve anything.
What? Oh, yeah, I'm getting the order ready. Got everyone their own, plus that cheezy bread you like.
"...why did you get everyone their own pizza?"
Because grass ruins motor oil. Come on, man, this is day one stuff.
We went through this, that makes no sense. And who the hell puts motor oil on a pizza?
The guys I order from. They've got everything but live human young, and that's only because these pro-life nuts started blowing up their pizza places.
The Logician was stunned. "There are so many things wrong with that sentance I don't even know where to begin. Just order the pizza."
I'd double check the order first. Oh, and remember the guy that brought you that pizza after we got stuck in the infinate void of nothing? Those are the guys delviering.
"OK, so that's a grass and hay for Ramthundar, extra pepperoni for Rangorak, Sausage, and Motor Oil for CybeRyan, a lobster and live human young for Ganondorf, and two four cheeze pizzas for me and Frank. Do I have that right?"
"Hmm, seems like a lot is happening over at the Heroes. Need to do something to attract attention here" Ram said, looking around. He spotted HK and went over to him.
"YO ROBOT!"
"[Statement]What do you want, Meatbag?"
"I want you to get some ice...FOR YER NUTZ!" Ram said, finishing his sentence by kicking HK.
"....[Statement]You're not know well know for your intelligence, hmm?"
"And you won't be know, er, when you break down...FROM ME KICKING YER NUTZ!" he said, again punctuating his sentence with another kick.
"YOU'VE DEFECTED!" Shouted Frank at Iji. His eyes went a brighter red as flipped the marauder off him and snapped his neck. The other one let go off ram to help hiss buddy. Ram took the opportunity to take him out from behind with a thunder bolt. Frohman ran at Frank again. He picked up a lightsabre, ignited it and chopped frohman's head. "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE ************!"
"Oh that wasn't very smart of you. And to think I couldve sent you back alive. Oh well," said Iji.
She jumped behind Frank and fired her Hyper Pulse, weakening him until he was launched into the air and crashed into the wall. Frohman stood back up and ran at Frank ineffectually. Remembering that Ram was still there, she blasted his legs with a rocket.
Iji leaned down and whispered into Frank's ear, "And to think I used to actually care about you, you freak. Now you're nothing to me. So please be a dear and let me enjoy my night in peace."
Frank's eyes stopped glowing, they slowly dimmed down to a golden colour. He pulled off his gas mask, a single tear rolled down his fairly handsome face. He got up and dusted himself off. "I'm sorry, I've been a true prick. Ruined your night, made a cheesy movie referance and shot your boyfriend." He apologized. "You didn't shoot me I'm right.. oh bolloks!" Yelled Xandus as Frank kneecapped him with his desert eagle without turning around. "See you." Frank said as he helped Ram up "Come on let's go."
"Xandus, are you alright?" Without waiting for his reply, she helped him back into his castle and herded his minions inside as well, including Frohman despite his severed head.
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