"Don't worry Yoshi, you have me to help you out. And also Miss Glados can probably mount that turret on you, and you will be the first armed Yoshi" "And don't forget you got me, I'll gladly protect you and help you in any way I can."
"And we have all these new allies to help out" said the Shrike gesturing to room full of Heroes with all four of his arms.
"You make... Angels? M. Isaac? What do you mean" Deep inside the Shrike thought back to the "Ouster Angels" and if he had flesh he would have shuddered. "And you say you turned a clown into a Angel? Which clown??" The Shrike's red pericing eyes looked at the little girl who took the 'light' away from the Angels.
Vanessa became scared and turned around, burying her head into Isaac's shoulder. "...Angels, like this." Isaac took the two graphite pencils from earlier and made them combine into a sinle mass, which molded itself into a humanoid figure. It walked around a bit before it made a motion like it was attacked. After a while, it fell on it's back, dead. Angel wings sprouted from its back. "Like that... And the clown was a man named Kefka..." Vanessa started shaking, just at the name. Isaac held her closer and rubbed her head. "He did things to my daughter... I actually exagerated a bit... He didn't HAVE an angel when I was done..."
The Shrike nodded. "I see, and she is your daughter? Who is the mother? If you don't mind me asking that is." The Shrike knelt down, and began to carve another heart into the floor here.
"Alright, you're through," Gerard said to Alice, opening up the barrier and letting her walk out into the hallway. "You two are fine," he continued, adressing Glados and Yoshi. "Oh, and mate, don't worry about being underpowered. In my experience, some of the best characters have had virtually no powers at all. It makes for interesting situations, since they have to actually use their initiative for once, rather than just blasting everything to death with lasers... speaking of which:"
Gerard turned to Ryan. "I'm gonna need you to hang back for a bit. Few things I want to ask you. As for you," Gerard looked at the Shrike. "You should probably be alright; from what I gather, you're a spiky robot; nothing wrong with that. There's just a little thing I want to do for me, in the back room, if you don't mind?"
"Actually, I was just in the middle of a conversation," The Shrike objected.
"Well then, this'll make for a nice dramatic cliffhanger," Gerard said, not taking no for an answer. Waving his clipboard in the most passive-agressive way he could manage, Gerard led the Shrike into a store-room. Once they were both inside, Gerard slammed and locked the door, then spun around, his stake and mallet in hand. "Alright then. M. Shrike, I want you to kill me."
"To kill you M. Gerard?" asked the Shrike, very surprised by this question. "If I kill you wouldn't that make me uneligable to go on the voage with the others?" The Shrike asked "I do ever so much like my new friend, I never had friends" The Shrikes red eyes dimmed.
"Are you sure? M. Gerard?" The Shrike asked one final time.
Ryan just rembered he could tranfsform so he scrawled it on his sheet with crayon he sat on the bench for a long time.
"Hmm I wonder what's going on in there?"
suddenly a drunken canadien saw Ryan'
"Hey that's the guy that detroyed toronto GET HIM"
"Awwwww shit"
after several hours Ryan emerged
"Well that was annoying should that havebeen in the sheet?"
The Shrike stood there not moving for a few moments staring down Gerard.
Finally the Shrike decided that his only way out of this closet would be through Gerard.
"I apologize M. Gerard" The Shrike spread all four of his arms and his chest spike grew another half a foot out of the Shrike's chest. The Shrike took Gerard into a massive embrace, Gerard was impailed on the Shrike's chest spike, as all four of his arms pressed agianst Gerards back. Blood flowed down the frictionless blades, and over the Shrike's carapace.
"I...I...i" The Shrike stuck to that phrase as he held Gerard agianst him. Now afraid to let go and see what he did.
"LOL LOOK AT THIS MESS!!" The Shrikes eyes blazed dark green "EWW GET YOUR PERVY BLUDDY HANDS OFF ME" The Shrike removed Gerard from him and threw him to the back of the closet and karate chopped a small section of door just enough to stick his head up agianst "HERE'S JOHNNNY!!" said the Shrike then slowly came back to his sense and exited the storage closet.
"Well" The Shrik looked about "That could have gone better"
"No, no, no, you're doing it wrong!" Gerard declared, rising to his feet, grabbing Shrike by the shoulders and yanking him back into the room.
"That, son, is godmoding! If you just straight-up kill a person, that's against the rules! I mean, alright, fair enough, I did outright tell you to do it, but still, that, my boy, is a no-no!" Gerard straightened up, wiped some of the blood off his body, and lay down some rules.
"Shrike, I need to tell you something about the art of combat. In a normal RP, the way it would work is, you post your action, then your opponent posts their reaction, and the results of your action." Gerard tapped a whiteboard at the far end of the room with his stake, then continued. "The AA's a bit more lenient, in that you can control both your own and your opponent's action; in other words, a full round of combat."
"...What's an "AA"?" The Shrike asked, not following. Gerard ignored him and continued on his bizarre, nonsensical tangent.
"At no point, however, should you post your opponent's defeat! If, following a spectacularly cool round of action by him, you admit defeat, that is the end of the battle; likewise, if he admits defeat following an incredibly awesome move of yours, you are the victor! This ensures that combat is fun for both parties, and it's enjoyable to read, as both are trying to out-epic the other! THIS DOES NOT MEAN you should try and use every attack in your arsenal to utterly annihilate your opponent; that would make for a boring, overpowered character who nobody'd want to fight, as it wouldn't be any fun. Instead, utilizing the arsenal and abilities you've got, however weak and uninteresting they may seem, in an interesting manner, your posts shall clearly be superior!"
Gerard spun on his heel, twirled his stake and re-sheathed it in the holster at his side. "There! Did everyone get that?"
"Uh... who are you talking to? I'm the only one here..." The Shrike mumbled, still not fully sure as to how Gerard was still up and walking, despite having gotten robo-porcupine'd 2 DA MAX just a few seconds ago.
"Oh, they can hear me. They know who I mean..." Gerard muttered. He pushed open the door and let the Shrike leave.
*****
"Hi there!" a man in a sleeveless black shirt and a red tie said, sitting in the seat next to Ryan. "Now, there's something I'd like to sort out with you... could you follow me into the torture room for a minute?"
"tortur rom???" Ryan asked, looking confused.
"Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "torture room"? What I meant to say was... exactly that!" the man continued, still smiling. He stood and walked into a room with a sign very clearly marked "TORTURE", and held the door open for Ryan to follow.
Once inside, Ryan sat down at a desk, opposite the seat his interrogator-to-be was in.
"Now, Ryan, we've been looking through your case reports, and a few little blips have arisen..." Gerard held up a few pictures from the file in his hands. There was one of Ryan wiping out an army, one of him punching a hole in a giant robot, one of him blowing up a universe... "The problem we have, Ryan, is this; you never stop trying to kill people. Well, the real problem is, you're too goddamn good at killing people. I mean, come [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/362.101127-The-Escapist-Avatar-Adventure-An-Open-RP-Now-Re-Opened?page=169#7394028] on [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/362.101127-The-Escapist-Avatar-Adventure-An-Open-RP-Now-Re-Opened?page=162#6616958]: Seriously [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/362.101127-The-Escapist-Avatar-Adventure-An-Open-RP-Now-Re-Opened?page=168#7358530]?" The man in the black shirt stood up and started pacing back and forth. "Alright, here's what's going to happen," he said at last, coming to a stop in front of a rack of spears, as if choosing which one would be best for sticking into a victim. "We're issuing you with something known as a "combat probation". This means that, for a little while, you won't be allowed to fight anyone. And by anyone, I don't just mean player characters; I mean anyone. If you harm a single hair on even the most insignificant NPC's head by a means which isn't rip-roaringly hilarious, WE WILL UNMAKE YOU." The interrogator selected a long, nasty-looking naginata from his rack and started twirling it around absently. "Yep, we can do that. You remember a couple of pages back, where you tried to ensnare the thread with your little "space-taxi" ploy? What happened then is something we in the business refer to as "atheist-moding". For the most part, it's an offense punishable to a similar degree as godmoding, though there are certain circumstances in which it's acceptable, particularly when dealing with certain individuals... basically, what you do is, you disregard everything that's happened in a post which you don't like the outcome of, and simply continue with the plot as if there was no post. It's usually very annoying (there was a poster called "Dispelga" a few months back; he was a master of the art... I wonder what happened to him?) but, should push come to shove, a GM may be pressed to these measures... Onrion, I apologize if this is too passive-aggressive for you to register, but in summary, you basically aren't allowed to fight anymore, on penalty of non-existence. You can still post, but if I see even a semblance of violence..." Billy-Joe swung around and sliced the head off a co-worker he'd asked to bring him a cup of coffee. "Am I understood? Yes? Great! You can go, then!" Billy-Joe kicked the door open and gestured for Ryan to leave, grinning like a maniac.
"No, no, no, you're doing it wrong!" Gerard declared, rising to his feet, grabbing Shrike by the shoulders and yanking him back into the room. "That, son, is godmoding! If you just straight-up kill a person, that's against the rules! I mean, alright, fair enough, I did outright tell you to do it, but still, that, my boy, is a no-no!" Gerard straightened up, wiped some of the blood off his body, and lay down some rules. "Shrike, I need to tell you something about the art of combat. In a normal RP, the way it would work is, you post your action, then your opponent posts their reaction, and the results of your action." Gerard tapped a whiteboard at the far end of the room with his stake, then continued. "The AA's a bit more lenient, in that you can control both your own and your opponent's action; in other words, a full round of combat."
"...What's an "AA"?" The Shrike asked, not following. Gerard ignored him and continued on his bizarre, nonsensical tangent.
"At no point, however, should you post your opponent's defeat! If, following a spectacularly cool round of action by him, you admit defeat, that is the end of the battle; likewise, if he admits defeat following an incredibly awesome move of yours, you are the victor! This ensures that combat is fun for both parties, and it's enjoyable to read, as both are trying to out-epic the other! THIS DOES NOT MEAN you should try and use every attack in your arsenal to utterly annihilate your opponent; that would make for a boring, overpowered character who nobody'd want to fight, as it wouldn't be any fun. Instead, utilizing the arsenal and abilities you've got, however weak and uninteresting they may seem, in an interesting manner, your posts shall clearly be superior!" Gerard spun on his heel, twirled his stake and re-sheathed it in the holster at his side. "There! Did everyone get that?"
"Uh... who are you talking to? I'm the only one here..." The Shrike mumbled, still not fully sure as to how Gerard was still up and walking, despite having gotten robo-porcupine'd 2 DA MAX just a few seconds ago.
"Oh, they can hear me. They know who I mean..." Gerard muttered. He pushed open the door and let the Shrike leave.
"Hi there!" a man in a sleeveless black shirt and a red tie said, sitting in the seat next to Ryan. "Now, there's something I'd like to sort out with you... could you follow me into the torture room for a minute?"
"tortur rom???" Ryan asked, looking confused.
"Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "torture room"? What I meant to say was... exactly that!" the man continued, still smiling. He stood and walked into a room with a sign very clearly marked "TORTURE", and held the door open for Ryan to follow.
Once inside, Ryan sat down at a desk, opposite the seat his interrogator-to-be was in.
"Now, Ryan, we've been looking through your case reports, and a few little blips have arisen..." Gerard held up a few pictures from the file in his hands. There was one of Ryan wiping out an army, one of him punching a hole in a giant robot, one of him blowing up a universe... "The problem we have, Ryan, is this; you never stop trying to kill people. Well, the real problem is, you're too goddamn good at killing people. I mean, come [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/362.101127-The-Escapist-Avatar-Adventure-An-Open-RP-Now-Re-Opened?page=169#7394028] on [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/362.101127-The-Escapist-Avatar-Adventure-An-Open-RP-Now-Re-Opened?page=162#6616958]: Seriously [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/362.101127-The-Escapist-Avatar-Adventure-An-Open-RP-Now-Re-Opened?page=168#7358530]?" The man in the black shirt stood up and started pacing back and forth. "Alright, here's what's going to happen," he said at last, coming to a stop in front of a rack of spears, as if choosing which one would be best for sticking into a victim. "We're issuing you with something known as a "combat probation". This means that, for a little while, you won't be allowed to fight anyone. And by anyone, I don't just mean player characters; I mean anyone. If you harm a single hair on even the most insignificant NPC's head by a means which isn't rip-roaringly hilarious, WE WILL UNMAKE YOU." The interrogator selected a long, nasty-looking naginata from his rack and started twirling it around absently. "Yep, we can do that. You remember a couple of pages back, where you tried to ensnare the thread with your little "space-taxi" ploy? What happened then is something we in the business refer to as "atheist-moding". For the most part, it's an offense punishable to a similar degree as godmoding, though there are certain circumstances in which it's acceptable, particularly when dealing with certain individuals... basically, what you do is, you disregard everything that's happened in a post which you don't like the outcome of, and simply continue with the plot as if there was no post. It's usually very annoying (there was a poster called "Dispelga" a few months back; he was a master of the art... I wonder what happened to him?) but, should push come to shove, a GM may be pressed to these measures... Onrion, I apologize if this is too passive-aggressive for you to register, but in summary, you basically aren't allowed to fight anymore, on penalty of non-existence. You can still post, but if I see even a semblance of violence..." Billy-Joe swung around and sliced the head off a co-worker he'd asked to bring him a cup of coffee. "Am I understood? Yes? Great! You can go, then!" Billy-Joe kicked the door open and gestured for Ryan to leave, grinning like a maniac.
Hi, it's me. Dispelga. I changed my name and have long since remedied my God-modding problem.
Isaac stared at the Shrike, piercingly. He continued rubbing Vanessa's head. "She has no mother, or father... She's my adopted daughter and she's precious to me... No one will lay a finger on my precious daughter or I'll make them angels... Right, Vanessa?~ The bad people who try to hurt you become angels~ Just like the clown.~" Vanessa smiled, creepily, and nodded. "Right~"
Yep, I was aware. Just a little joke at your expense. If it's any consolation, I think you have indeed kicked the habit, to the extent that you're one of my favourite of the newer posters.
"Alright, it looks like we're good to go!" Sam said, checking everyone's forms. Onwards to adventure!" As Sam stepped through the doorway in front of him into darkness, his new allies following him, optimistic thoughts began to fill his head. Like, what if it worked this time? It was a long shot, but this might finally be the kick the AA needed to get back on its' feet! Maybe, at last, he and the gang would be able to reclaim the magic of the RP he'd fallen in love with!
A huge smile on his face, Sam closed his eyes and stepped forwards, falling out into nothingness. One by one, his allies joined him in jumping out into the void, and they all fell together. And then they landed.
"Ow! Bloody hell!" Sam cried, smashing against the hard ground. "I get that I'm an anime character, but this is pushing it a little-" There was an unpleasant crunchy noise as Isaac landed on top of him, holding Vanessa in his arms.
"There! By causing a lump of the ground to rise up and meet me, I managed to reduce the damage of our landing by a lot! Oh, and it looks like we landed on something soft, as well!"
"Kill... you..." Sam muttered, his fragile 15-year-old torso sandwiched between the rock and Isaac's boots. Sidoh came hurtling towards the ground not far behind, but managed to stop his descent by hovering in the air a few feet above Sam and Isaac. His small victory was cut short, however, by Domon flying straight into him, sending him spinning groundwards.
Yoshi had, for some reason, had the bright idea of doing a ground-pound in the air, and he plummeted earthwards with the power and velocity of a dinosaur-flavoured comet, landing on the pile of Heroes and creating a substantial crater.
Sam, bruised and bloody, was flung clear of the group with this latest installment, but barely had time to celebrate before Little Miss Glados came hurtling down towards him, smiling like a maniac. Frantic, Sam pulled a handgun out of his bag and started shooting at the small AI, but she simply angled her body so that she glided past the bullets and landed with both feet on Sam's chest, securing herself a soft landing.
Isaac, Sidoh and Domon pulled themselves to their feet and started laughing at Sam's predicament, but unfortunately, their merriment was cut short by a robot made of knives, razor-blades and death plummeting down towards them. They ran around in a most amusing manner, scurrying in circles and eventually bumping into each other in the center of the pit, knocking them all flat and leaving them no option other than to wait for a painful death. It never came, however.
"A good leader... always looks out for his troops..." Sam muttered, blood welling from the corners of his mouth. He had leapt into the air above his trio of allies and caught the Shrike as he fell, with some of the spikier parts of his anatomy puncturing some of the less spiky parts of Sam's.
The sentiment, though heartwarming, was rendered quite useless a moment later by a pillar of light shooting down from the heavens, engulfing every hero who'd fallen up to that point.
Once the sensation of incomparable pain had stopped, Sam peeled his eyes open and looked skywards. Alice was floating directly above him, looking sheepish. "Sorry, sir. I just thought that if I fired a laser at the ground it'd slow my fall a little..."
"YOU CAN FUCKING FLY!!!" Sam yelled, rifling through his bag for something to throw at the shrine maiden. His assault was cut off by Ryan, plummeting straight downwards toward the center of the crater.
"Ryan, don't you dare," Sam warned, staggering to his feet and wobbling a little. "Remember, if you hurt anyone, you're gone forever, so don't bloody-" Glados leapt forwards and kicked Sam in the chest again, knocking him out of the way just in time for Ryan to hit the ground.
"Uh... is everything alright?" Sidoh asked, helping Sam to his feet.
"Great. Just wonderful, Sid. I can see bright futures ahead of us," Sam grumbled, picking bits of Shrike out of his stomach. "Yep, this team'll go down in history. Alright, ladies and gentlemen!"
Sam spun around, swayed dangerously, vomited a little bit and addressed his team. "Your first mission: get me to a hospital before I bleed to death. Simple enough? Alright, go!" Sam flashed an inspirational grin, then collapsed to the ground, hitting his head against a rock on his way down.
The iSam searched for days. Well, it felt like days to him; in reality, mere minutes could be passing, or it could be a number of months. Of course, he wasn't complaining; he'd been designed to be emotionless, and Corporate Man had had the sense not to download the iGrumble app when it became available on the market...
At last, the iSam found who he was looking for. A teen, dressed entirely in black, with pale skin and unnaturally dark hair, was sitting on the ground. In one hand he held a razor fresh with his own blood, and in the other a metal pipe, the perfect size and shape for whacking those who displeased the one in possession of it.
Swooping down, the iSam flew clean through the young emo, converting him into data and storing him in his mainframe for release at a later date. His job in this area of time complete, the iSam flew back off into the timeline, seeking more potential allies to aid him in his cause.
High above the universes, a lone angel sat upon the Peak of the Cosmos, feet casually dangling over the edge, curiously peering into each one. His eyes slowly came across a very familiar universe, a frown forming on his face as he looks in upon it. The frown then changed into a facepalm, which turned into a hearty laughter, but then quickly slunk back into a facepalm.
"Geez, so many newbies...and they restarted twice since my absence...the universe just degraded into a confusing mindfuck..." He said as a entity of bright light appeared behind him.
"I think it's time you go back down there and say hi. Kick those newbies into shape. I'm sure whoever remembered you would be very happy to see you." The all-powerful entity said, his voice loud and booming.
The dark skinned angel looked up at his master with a soft smile before looking at his golden bracelet, remembering all the experiences he's shared with the people of the beloved universe. Suddenly, white tendrils spread from under his short-sleeved shirt, and traveled down his arms, hardening and forming into claws as they reached his fingertips, his right hand glowing brightly as the transformation completed.
"Thanks God." The angel said with a smile before pushing himself off of the narrow summit, falling towards the universe. The entity looked over the edge, looking on with a smile.
"Anytime Phil! Just call me once you make it down there!" He called out, waving to the angel as he fell into the familiar galaxy.
"Big brother... I-It hurts..." Vanessa said, her arm and leg broken.
"Ah!" Isaac quickly healed his wounds with his psynergy, as best he could, and walked over to her. He rested a his hands on her and cast Cure well, multiple times. Her bones harmlessly snapped back into place and she felt much better. Isaac picked her up and huged her. "DAMNIT, SAM! You almost killed her!"
"Oh, well I'm bloody sorry about that!" Sam yelled, regaining conscious temporarily, yanking one of his fingers off and throwing it at Isaac.
"Uh... any chance of me getting that back?"
Before he could hobble over and retrieve his finger, Sam glanced up and noticed a brightly glowing figure shooting towards the group. "Oh, another one..." he muttered, bracing himself for another hilarious crushing-related injury. Upon further analysis, however, Sam recognized the figure as someone he knew.
"No way... Phil?" Sam grinned, wider than he had for days, and spread his arms wide. Phil came shooting down from the heavens, crashing into Sam and catching him in an insanely manly guy-hug.
"Phil! Jesus! I missed you, man!" Sam kissed his old friend on the top of the head in a totally manly way, then remembered he was bleeding to death and passed out again.
"..." Isaac sighed and put his hand on top of Sam's head. He cast Cure Well once and all Sam's wounds stopped bleeding, but were still there. "Be more careful next time..."
Vanessa looked at the two of them and giggled. "They're funny~"
When did I become a shrine maiden? Why would he even compare me to one? That one who I met during the winter incident was only 29% as powerful as I am, the Rainbow Puppeteer. And she's supposedly the strongest.
"I'm a bit tired of flying sir," she murmered.
Alice stepped out of the crater with Sam being carried by a large number of her kind French dolls. She pointed vaguely towards where the hospital is and her tiny army rushed towards it.
"So that's first objective completed. Who wants to take us on a short, easy mission while Sam recuperates for the day?" she asked, tempting fate in such a way that something awful would surely happen.
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