The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)

[Isaac The Grape]

Isaac returned from his car clutching a sheet of paper that looked like it had been used to wrap someone's take-away dinner.

"Aha," said Isaac "here is the official Author Approved character sheet for myself"

Isaac passed the paper to Ryan. It read as follows:

Name: Isaac D. Ceptus.

Known Alias's: "Chris Patton", "Bradley Stamford", "Janus Ulhan", "Peter Usinski", "#55", "Teh Lowner", "That guy who glassed/knifed/bit my friend", "Bloody pool shark", "Stupid Hoon", "Smartarse"

Physical description: 6ft,1 Caucasian male with brown hair. No distinguishable markings.

Biography: A third generation Australian born and formally lived in Canberra, Australia. I have recently entered into the profession of being an interuniversal treasure hunter and mercenary. I entered this profession after having discovered my talent at staying alive when an universal rift appeared in Canberra that brought a hoard of zombies into existence. During the resulting chaos I discovered Schrödinger?s Car(details attached).

Spoiler: Schrödinger?s Car

Once a CC Mitsubishi Lancer Coupe, it had been half consumed by the rift and became stuck in a state of non existence being nowhere at all. When it was spat back out again Isaac discovered that it had retained its state of non-existence and no longer had a set definition of what it was or where it was. Its owner had died during the zombie infestation and the key to start the car had remained in Isaac's universe. As the key was still a key to the Lancer Isaac discovered that the car would regain its from of a CC Lancer Coupe using the key. Via experimentation Isaac discovered that the holder of the key could define when the car existed and what car it was when it did. Also, Isaac discovered he could slip the car and anything inside it into a state of non-existence and then bring it back into existence in a universe different to the one that it originally traveled from. (Source, a poorly written post)

 

[Roamin11]

The Shrike read over Ryan shoulder.

"So your powers are staying alive? Thats it thats all? No combat specialites? No wepons?"

The Shrike eyed Isaac.

 

[Orinon]

Ryan read and re-read the Character Sheet.
"Yeah I'm sorry to say this but your guy seems to be nothing much more than a lucky person with a disappearing car."
Ryan then used his blade to carve a circle in solid concrete. emerging from the shadows were to teenage girls with long pink hair and masks over their eyes.
"We are the Cervello we shall act as judges and referees."
"Ok you all remember the rules I will assist as referee I promise to be fair. before we start please present your Half Vongola Rings, I will validate them. but first."
The heroes:
Sam, Yoshi, Ryan, Black Dragon, The Shrike, Miss Glados and Alice. they all formed a circle
"YOSHI," they all shouted together "FIGHT."
Yoshi then presented his ring to one of the teenage girls
"This Half Vongola Ring is Real."
Yoshi entered the circle The ring was on a chain around his neck
"Yoshi," shouted Ryan "Remember we are all behind you

 

[the infected (teamkiers)]

 

[maddawg IAJI]

MEANWHILE!

In a lab, deep below a suburban household, a young boy named Dexter works tirelessly on strange machines. Why Dexter's Lab? How the hell should I know, I'm the narrator, I just read the script. Anyways, Dexter closes the hatch of one of his latest machines, wiping the sweat from his brow. He turns in time to see Mandark, his arch nemesis, enter his laboratory.

"Dexter, we meet again," Mandark said, unbuttoning his shirt, "Its about time we finish this." He threw his shirt aside and began to pull down his pa-WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH! Listen guys, I've been doing this for about 2 years now. I've sat through countless reboots and annoying plot-twists and godmodding, but I'm drawing the line at Gay fanfiction. O-kay..A-alright. So I can skip over it? Okay good. Ugghhh lets see here. Fanfiction *Page turning* Fanfiction. Fanfiction. Fanfiction. Ah, here we go.

Suddenly, gas grenades clanged across the floor and the tired Dexter and Mandark were soon incapacitated. An automatic door opened up and Darth Revan calmly entered with an army of clone troopers. One of which was holding a boombox that played the March of the Empire song.

He motioned for his troops to advance through the lab, moving the machinery to find what they were looking for. "My lord! over here!" said a Trooper. Revan approached the machinary and compared it with the picture his employer gave him. He nodded approvingly. "My lord, we found it." he said into his headset that was underneath his cool as helmet.

Suddenly an Emergence hole rose out of the ground and several locust Grunts crawled out of it. They surrounded it and knelt on one knee as they're master, Maddawg, climbed out. Maddawg approached Revan and his machine, "Very nice Revan. You've done your job. But before I pay you, do you mind answering me a question? How can you have Stormtroopers if Jango Fett is born after you die?"

"Well...ugh...I...Noooooooo[sup]ooooooo[/sup]" says Revan as he is erased from History. What was his point in this post? I have no real clue. But he is still fucking awesome.

Maddawg then moves past the shocked Storm Troopers and pushes a button to activate the machine. The gears and lights whirred to life as a beam fires out of the tip of the weather control device, out a window and into the sky.

"*Bzzzt* Its working Maddawg! Hail is beginning to fall!" Said Master Kitty over the headset.

"Good, return to Nexus then. I'll move the machine and the package and meet you there." Maddawg said. His Locust soldiers wheeled over a Cyborg man to him, with a round belly, a while and cybernetic beard and a red hat. One eyed glowed bright red, and the other stared angrily ahead. Terminator Santa looked over to Maddawg as he was wheeled by and said "Merry Christmas."

Maddawg smiled at the sight of it. Between the deadly weather and the killer Santa robot, the Human race will be forced to retreat underground. If all goes to plan, the Locust will have a new slave labor force and will once again rule the Planet!

Spoiler: Ya ya.

I know its horribly written, but I'm on vacation damnit!

 

[Fury Is Me.]

Meiling was bored. Very bored. She wanted to fight now, but she was also tired and could really use a nap. On the one hand, she could train some more so she wouldn't be rusty at all when she got into the ring on the other hand, she could lay back on someone's lap, maybe Alice's, or a tree, and take a nap. They could wake her up when it was time for her to kick some ass.

Hmmm....Should I train or take a nap? Train... Or nap... Oh, Alice's lap looks nice and warm... I could lay my head there and get a good nap in... But that tree over there... God, it's asking to get its ass beat. And then there's Unknown X over in that lake over there... Hmmm... What to do... What to- UNKNOWN X?! Her eyes quickly darted back to the lake, where the giant, brown catfish waved to her, with a grin. "OH THAT'S IT! IT'S TIME TO FINISH THIS!" She shouted, running to the giant catfish and proceeding to get into an epic battle with it. Teeth were flying, rainbows were exploding, Fins and Fists were flying. OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS SHOULD SEE THIS BATTLE!

 

[maddawg IAJI]

AT THE HEROES! suddenly the fist-fish fight was broken up by a large hail, dropping down ice the size of mini-vans! FULLY LOADED MINI-VANS! Unfortunately, they're not hybrid mini-vans so they only get about 8 miles to a gallon. One mini-van in particular landed in the lake and tossed the cat-fish out of the water. No amount of kung-fu training would save it now as it flopped helplessly on dry land. He pleaded for the heroes to help it before an Earthquake hit and the ground split underneath it. You may be wondering how a weather machine can move the Earth's Tectonic Plates, and here is your explanation: It just does okay! Finally, a Tornado tears by them, pulling up houses, trees and cars as it calmly moves toward the Heroes.

In short: Shit just got real.

WITH THE VILLAINS !

"Hey guys, I'm back with robo Santa-Claus and the weather machine." Said Maddawg.

"Jesus christ dude. You really need to stop taking so many vacations." said Sho as he placed down another pair in him and Grim's game of Goldfish.

 

[Fury Is Me.]

Meiling grinned, victoriously. She didn't care how the fish died, AS LONG AS IT FUCKING DIED! "YES! YES! YES! IT'S FINALLY DEAD! WOO HOOOOOOO-" And then she got interupted by one of the minivan hails falling on her. She popped out of the top, dazed, and shook her head. "WHAT'S WITH THE WEATHER?!... Wait... Is that Tenshi girl here too?" She climbed out the top and punched oncoming hail, so she wouldn't get hit again. "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?! WHO'S DOING THIS?!"

 

[BloodyThoughts]

Deadpool was minding his own business, still looking for some people, when the mini-van-sized hail started falling all over the place, "WOAH! What the hell!?" Deadpool yelled out before quickly pulling out his pistols, and shooting the ones that were going to fall on him down to size, "Ow! Ow! Ow! The mini shards of hail I'm creating around hurting me! Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh Geez, I think one got stuck in my eye! Ow! Damn, that's gonna hurt in the morning!"

And then, right in front of him, a chunk of hail landed and crushed a chimichonga. In slow motion, now, guys! "Nooooooooooooooo! My chimichoooooongaaaaaaaa!!!!" And that is how shit got personal with Deadpool. That's an understatement. "THIS IS FOR YOU CHIMICHONGA!"
[HEADING=2]"BULLETS! BANG! BANG! BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG BAAAAANG!"[/HEADING] ...You can guess what happened next. The hail shards, THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! OW! ONE GOT CAUGHT IN MY EYE! "...Who knew the guy was able to feel that. OH GOD THE MINI-VANS ARE STILL FALLING, AND THE GROUND IS SHAKING A LOT!"

 

[ajb924]

Spoiler: Say wha?

Maddawg's back? Damn, maybe my going fucking INSANE did cause some good... Well, either way, welcome back! It's always fun to see you posting.

"Well, if you want me to stop going on vacation, STOP EXPECTING ME TO DO SO MUCH WORK!" Maddawg said.
"Well... You're the leader... And stuff... So... Yea." Sho said "Now, it's just a matter of what we fuck up first!"

 

[Orinon]

Ryan face palmed
"Christ at this rate the only one who isn't fighting is Yoshi and Isaac."

 

[Roamin11]

The Shrike watched as hail the size of mini vans came crashing down, he shot his repulsor rays into the air vaporising them, but soon the storm became even worse, he did his best before he decided to make a igloo out of the minivan sized blocks.


"Quick everyone to shelter!"

 

[BloodyThoughts]

Deadpool heard someone from a distance, over the firing from his guns, and the sound of minivans crashing into the ground, "Who knew I could hear that well?" SHUT IT AND STOP ACKNOWLEDGING ME! "Never!!!" Deadpool yelled as he kept firing the vans down to size, and, WELL JUST GO WITH IT AND RUN TO THE SHELTER! "Fine! Mom! Gawd!!!"

And So, Deadpool jumped over the carnage, not losing his balance once to the earthquake that was happening, and ran to the igloo. He jumped through the door, and an explosion happened behind him, "...Woah, didn't think that would happen." He said, before he started introducing himself to Shrike, "Hi, i'm Deadpool. I'm Marvel Comics anti-hero. You know, the Regenerating Degenerate, the Merc with the Mouth, and the Crimson Comedian. If you haven't noticed, I like to talk. Talking exercises the larynx, which is an important part of your body. Anyway, I came here after I was chucked out of a bus. Have you ever heard of the 4th wall? I have, and it's fun to break. Look, HI WRITER OF ME!" HEY! STOP THAT! "You're not my mother! Anyway, that's really all I know. Now have you seen a cowgirl mercenary named Outlaw? I need to stare at her nice rack."

 

[Roamin11]

The Shrike nervously adjusted his tie seeing the red tight totting anti hero jumped into his igloo.

"Greetings I'm the Shrike, I got lasor beams built into my hands and cna transoform into a creature that would make Brick from Borderlands think twice before we tango, adn can't say I know any smexy cowgirl's with two .44's walkin around, I do know something is wrong with this weather!"

 

[Fury Is Me.]

Meiling and her nice rack was the next pair to run into the igloo. She dove in and landed STRAIGHT on Deadpool and knocked him over. "Oh god! Sorry! I was just... The hail and... Yeah, let me help you up." She stood up and quickly offered deadpool a hand, unable to ingore that her clothing was being torn up. Not enough to expose anything, but stil, it was being torn. Goddamnit... And I liked these clothes... Maybe Sakuya can fix them for me...?

 

[BoosterGold]

A swirling White Vortex opened up and spat out a women in a green jumpsuit, her long black hair tied in a ponytail. She held up her ring to a lantern in her other hand and shouted...
IN BRIGHTEST DAY
IN BLACKEST NIGHT
NO EVIL SHALL ESCAPE MY SIGHT
LET THOSE HOW Worship EVILS MIGHT
BEWARE MY POWER GREEN LANTERNS LIGHT
The woman looked around and said, "Hiya everybody, who missed me. Sho give me a hug old buddy."

 

[maddawg IAJI]

"Way ahead of you Sho." Said Maddawg, grabbing the remote out of Master Kitty's hands and changing the channel.

"Hey! I was watching that!"

"It was a pedigree channel."

"Ya....your point? Can't a guy enjoy smut in the privacy of his own evil lair!?"

"1) This isn't your lair, and 2) You're in the living room and 3)-"

Maddawg was cut off by the sound of the reporter on the TV.

"This is Stacy Wong for Fox news here on scene in the middle of Chicago as giant hail continues to pelt the city! Why this hail is occuring is unknown although the leading scientists (Their boss) claims that it is a wrathful god angry at us for not giving the Republican party more money. Fatal-" Stacy was cut off by a large chunk of hail. Apparently it has upgraded to hail the size of tractor trailers.

"So...does that qualify as shit fucked up?"

 

[ajb924]

"Fox news is ALWAYS saying that..." Sho mumbled after warmly welcoming Chell
"I MEANT the hail." Maddawg replied.
"Well, if it's upgraded, what's stopping it from moving to us?" Grimm asked.
The group looked at him.
"Because of the weather controller's... Magnetic pulls to... BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE STUPID." Maddawg explained.
"Well... Moving on... It DOES qualify as shit fucked up." Sho began. "And, since it was such a GOOD shit fucking up fest, I think we should have a welcoming back/celebration party!"
"That doesn't sound to villain-y.." Grimm mumbled.
"And the Green Lantern does? Sho asked.
"Well... Good point." Grimm replied.

Spoiler: Holy dicks.

If Ram, Grimm, Xandus, or Shaps posts, I may have a heart attack...

 

[hopeneverdies]

Alice was the next person to enter the relative safety of the igloo. She sat down away from the group, shivering from the sudden temperature change.

"Alice, why are you being anti-social again? You know what we've said about." asked the Shrike.

"This is actually the first time anyone has noticed."

"Oh, well, um, get over here anyway. We've got a fire over here."

"May as well."

Alice sat down with the group. Meiling, seeing her chance, fell asleep in her warm lap. This had the unfortunate side effect of making the gathering semi-awkward.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

"We'll do that later. Right now we need to get Santa Terminator here programmed and attacking the populace asap!" Said Maddawg, banging on the big belly of Santa.

"Why? Shouldn't the hail be enough to kill everyone? Along with the Earthquakes, Tornados and Hurricanes?" Asked Grimm.

"Well yeah, but....Its mainly for the kids."