The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)

[Zepren]

"Wow, PureAwesome is... awesome?" Smiled Glenrath as he stood up, new recovered from an insane drug trip. "and plot Huh?" He asked confused "There's plot lying around here somewhere? I've not seen plot since erm not long after me and that pervy guy fought all them zombies"

Glenrath looked back at that awesome time....

Glenrath lands on Orgazmo's shoulder.
"Let's team up, i'll protect us with a force field, you blast them!" A magical force field appears protecting both orgazmo and Glenrath from the zombies

"Time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. Glenrath! Give me some!"
"I'm sorry sir, but I'm all out of bubblegum."
"NOOOOOOOO! Oh well, lets just kick some as then.
With that, Orgazmo focused his lust into the orgazmorilator, and from the weapons barrel, shot out a short burst of laser made out of pure sexual energy. It went through the inside of Glenrath's force field without having to blast through it, and cutt through the nipples of several hundred zombies standing in a single line formation, killing them instantly.



"Good times" He grinned. "Miss that guy. He was less freaky then this pig that replaced him" He frowned at Spanky

 

[Zepren]

Spoiler: So...

Is everyone still dead or what?

Spoiler: Fresh from your suspension I see

God knows

 

[ajb924]

"One of you is free to go back to your world without completeing the trials." Xykon began
"DIBS!" Sho said and ran to the newly opened portal.
"BUT!" Xykon said quickly. "If you wish to do this you must win a multiplayer match on Bioshock 2 against me and your other teammates."
"WOO!" Maddawg said and picked up the controller.

15 MINUTES LATER!
"Hacker..." Xykon muttered under his breath. "Alright, Maddawg wins... He gets to go back to earth without finishing the trials..."
"This is some bullshit..." Sho said. "The only decent weapon I have is the grenade launcher..."
"Quit bitching!" Xandus said. "I didn't have anything but the pistol and shotgun!"
"Later bitches!" Maddawg said walking through the portal.
"Now that that's over..." Xykon muttered. "It's time to start your trials."
"Wait, why do we need to do this?" Sho asked.
"Is there really anything else going on for you guys?" Xykon asked.
"Well no... But still!" Sho exclaimed.
"FINE! If you finish the trials I'll give you something cool! Happy now?"
"FUCK YES!" Sho said excited.
"Wait wait wait!" Xandus said. "What about Shadow Grimm?"
"Uhhhhhhhhh, pretend it never happened." Xykon said.
"But it's how we..."
"PRETEND IT NEVER HAPPENED."
"OK OK! Damn..." Xandus muttered.
"Now, your first trial is to find me!" Xykon said and disappeared.
"This is bullshit..." Sho muttered.
"At least we don't need to firght anything." Xandus said. Suddenly hordes of stuff began charging to attack.
"I hate you, you know that?" Sho said to Xandus as he began to run from the stuff.

What is the stuff!? Don't ask me! BECAUSE I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING!

 

[Dr.Hax]

"of fuck this i only wanted to kill the un-dead oh shit" and then one of Atkinson's bullets ripped through him censoring him forever "i'be back... as a robot"

 

[Sam G]

MEANWHILE, WHERE SAM BE AT:

"-Unreal Tournament!" The shadowy figure finished.
"What?" Sam asked. "Oh, you mean the shooter! Alright, bring it on!"
"Okay then! Hold this," the shadow ordered, and tossed Sam a gun.
"What the hell?" Sam looked confused. "What's this for?"
"When I said "Unreal Tournament", I didn't mean the game. What I have in mind is a little more... Extreme than that." The shadow stepped into the light, and it was at that point that Sam realized he wasn't merely standing in an area with no light; it was more that he was wearing the darkness itself like a cloak. The shadow raised a hand to the air, and a gun appeared in it. "Let's dance."
"Hold on!" Sam raised a hand. "Before we start, I need some answers. For one thing, what should I call you? I can't keep referring to you as "the shadow" or "the figure" in my posts!"
"My name... is Haywood Jablomey."
"Haywood... Oh, you suck!" Sam yelled, dived behind cover and started shooting at the figure.

 

[Sam G]

AFTER THE BATTLE...

"Dude, hax!" The figure complained.
"What the hell? How could I hack real life?" Sam asked.
"Well, evidently you managed!" the figure replied indignantly. "Let's look back, shall we?"

FLASHBACK

"Hahahaha! I am an immortal god!" Sam yelled, flying through the air and shooting at his nemesis. The figure shot back at Sam, but the bullets just bounced off.



FLASHBACK END

"..." Sam was silent. "...I fail to see that as conclusive evidence."
"Alright, whatever! Here's your friend back!" The figure sighed and raised a hand, and Phil materialized in front of him.
"What? Where am I? Who are you?" Phil turned around and looked at the shadowy figure. "I feel like I know you from somewhere..."
"Nope, you definitely don't!" The figure waved his hands in denial. "Anyway, the next match, this time for Slouch's soul. The game we play shall be-"

DRAMATIC CLIFFHANGER

Spoiler: OOC

Okay Slouchy-boy, your turn. Which game should Sam and/or Phil play in an effort to reclaim your soul?

 

[SpaceSpork]

Sidoh woke up in the middle of wherever the heroes were, in a Spider-Man costume, holding a plastic dick in his let hand.
"Shit," He said, "I was out for a while."

 

[doopdoopdoopdoop]

doop doop doop doop doop

 

[Sam G]

"Hahahah... Bad choice, bro," Sam said, reaching into his bag and pulling out a personalized Gamecube controller with the SSB logo printed on it. "For me, this'll be as easy as peeling an orange."
"I fear you underestimate me, friend..." The figure replied. He waved a hand and summoned a TV and Gamecube.

"No! Shit! Aaaaah!" Sam yelled as the shadow meteor smash'd him to his death for the third and final time.
"Well, would you look at that, I won," the figure said, removing his blindfold. "Well then, I guess your soul is mine." He raised a hand and cast Sam into the shadowy void in which the souls of the other heroes resided.
"Bastard!" Phil tackled the shadowy figure to the ground. "Bring him back, dammit!"
"If you wish to reclaim the soul of your friend, you must best me in the same challenge he was lost in," the shadow casually replied, flipping Phil off him and standing up.
"Alright, fine!" Phil got to his feet and walked towards the 'Cube. Before he reached it, however, an insect-like hand stopped him.
"Hold on, Phil. You can't afford to lose as well," Sidoh stated.
"What makes you think you'll do any better?" Phil asked angrily.
"I have a method of my own," Sidoh replied. He walked over to the machine and extended two more pairs of arms. "Fox only, you said. You didn't specify how many."

KABLAM! One of Sidoh's Foxes tackled the shadow off the stage, along with another Sidoh which had been restraining him.
"Alright then. You win. A deal's a deal," The shadow said, maintaining composure, and opened the void again, allowing Sam and Slouch to escape.
"Wow, that was an unpleasant experience," Sam murmured, stepping out of the void with Slouch on his shoulder before walking over to stand next to Phil and Sidoh. "Okay, what's next?"
"This time, playing for Ram's soul. Today's game is-"

 

[SpaceSpork]

"HAHA! TAKE THAT, BITCHES! FINAL MOTHERFUCKING SMASH!" Shouted Sidoh
"Shut up!" Said Sam, "The guy thingie's talking!"

 

[ajb924]

"FINALLY!" Anthony said at his school library. "I HAVE THE INTERNET!!!! IT'S BEEN 2 DAYS. TWO HELLISH DAYS!" Anthony continues to laugh wildly.
"What's that high pitched, whiney noise?" Xandus asked?
"Dunno, but I think we should be getting out of here." Sho said.
"Why?"
"Mainly because we've been standing still for two straight days... Maybe if we start something the hereoes will too..." Sho mumbled
"So... What should we do?" Xandus asked.
"LETS GO TO SEA WORLD!!!!!" Sho said excited.
"WHY?" Xandus asked stunned.
"I WANNA SEE THE WHALE THAT EATS PEOPLE!" Sho replied.
"Ugh...." Xandus said facepalming himself.

LATER, AT SEA WORLD!
"How'd we get here?" Xandus asked.
"We took the announcer vioce!" Sho replied.
"Uh-huh...." Xandus mumbled.
"The whale looks so sad... Lets rescue it and put it back in the ocean!" Sho said.
"WHY!?" Xandus asked getting sick of the stupidity.
"CUZ IT'LL BE FUN! Now, lets sneak it out!"

LATER THAT NIGHT....
"Alright, lets sneak in!" Sho said and blew a whole in the wall.
"Sneaking is supposed to be QUIET!" Xandus pointed out
"Don't yell, you'll alert the guards!" Sho screamed back.
"Too late..." Xandus mumbled.

ONE SLAUGHTER AND PUTTING A WHALE IN A STOLEN PLANE LATER....
"Time to drop it off in the alantic!" Sho said
"Is that where they live!?" Xandus asked
"I THINK SO!" Sho said and began to fly the plane towards the Atlantic ocean.

Spoiler: Yes

To your question, I have a VERY good reason behind this stupid post.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

Little did Xandus and Sho and whoever else may be with him since I haven't been in this RP for about 3 months now and I haven't bothered reading the last 40 pages know, Grim and Maddawg were on the same flight. The plane they were on was meant to fly over the Atlantic and stop in China, where the Locust Horde was waiting for Maddawg's command to invade Bejing.

Grim held up a picture in one hand and a cigarrete in the other. "You know my parents once said to me, 'Grim, your special, you were born to do great things.' I think they were right."

"Grim......we are in a pressurized cabin....PUT OUT THE GODDAMN CIGARETTE! And I don't think your definition of Special and their definition of Special are the same thing."

Suddenly the plane began to dip. The engines sputtered and the plane divebombed into the waters below.

A few minutes later, Maddawg rose from the murky salt water "GRIM! GRIM WHERE ARE YA! COME ON MAN! I COULD USE YOUR BODY AS A LIFE RAFT!" Yelled Maddawg. "STOP YELLING!" Said Xandus. "If I go deaf man, I'm blaming- Maddawg?"

"Xandus? Sho?" Asked Maddawg. "What the hell are you guys doing here?"

"We could ask you the same question man. We haven't seen you in ages. Wheres Grim?" Said sho.

"Alas, Grim has perished in the crash." "I'm right here." "And know my dreams have been shattered."

The newly reunited group swam to a nearby lighthouse and entered it. Inside they found a minature submarine. "Well.....this just smells like Bad idea." Said Xandus.

"Ya, but it's either in the sub or starve to death in this light house. Take your pick." said Maddawg as he sat down in the seat. "Oooohh Leathery."

The group took their seats in the sub and pulled the Lever. The sub dove down into the water.

"Hey look Sho! The Whale survived the plane crash!" Said Xandus pointing to the giant killer whale!

"HOORAY! LIVE FREE YA BIG FAT WHALE!" Yelled Sho before a large number of Sharks attacked the whale. Sho's jaw dropped as blood from the whale floated up in the water. "MAKE IT STOP! I CAN'T LOOK AT IT ANYMORE!" Suddenly a projector screen came down and blocked the view of the feeding frenzy.

"Oh thank God." said Sho before a projector started up.

A locust came on screen, "Grandpa?" Said Maddawg.

"I am Bartholmew James Maddawg, and I'm here to ask you a question. Is a dictator not entitled to the loyalty of his people and the financal and military powers that come with it?

Nooo says the Man in Washington, he needs to be elected by the people.
Nooo says the Man in the Vatican, the only true ruler is GOD!
Nooo says the Man in Soviet Russia, the people rule you!

I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something diffrent. I chose. Rapture!

A city where a dictators won't be restricted by the Geneva Convention.
Where a scientist can easily create weapons of mass destruction.
Where the great can enslave the small!

And with a big ass gun, Rapture can be your city as well."

The Projector turned off and the screen rolled back up to reveal a giant city. "A whole city under water!" Says Xandus in awe of the lights.


"Wait? Wouldn't the pressure of the water make it nearly impossible for anyone to build down here? And wou-" said Grim before being smacked upside the head by Maddawg.

"Don't belittle my grandfather's achievements!"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Did someone say hug?" 2-D walked into the rest of heroes looking oh so stylish.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

"OH OH! I do!" Said Grim bouncing up and down.

"NO HUGS!" Said Maddawg as he smacked both Melvin and Grim and the new guy. "We are villans! We don't show affection!"

The sub entered the city and the group of 5 now were greeted by a man in a brown suit and a white beard.

"Welcome to Rapture! I am Dr.Breen!" Said the man. He looked over at Maddawg and smiled. "Ahhh! The grandson of the founder of this city."

"Where's my grandfather?" Said Maddawg.

"Your grandfather passed away...in the riots..."

"Did he die in combat?"

"eh, No...he was practicing his putting when an assassin came in and broke his club over his head."

"That's not what I expected of Grandpa."

"Well that's why he put me in charge. I am an expert at running dystopias after all."

"What are you credentials."

"I ran City 17."

"Do you know Gordon?"

"Why yes I did. He and I always had a nice chat....then he tried to kill me."

"Good ol' Gordon. Always trying to murder everyone."

"Anyways, Let's start the tour."

Spoiler: To Xandus

Don't worry, I meant to joke only about Bioshock 1 anyways. Maybe drifting into Bioshock 2 every now and again, but I won't because you asked nicely.

 

[Pm0n3y]

Spoiler: OOC: Woah...

Maddawg's back? YaY! just get in as much posts as possible before Emmy gets off of his suspension. Good to have you back Adam.