The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)

[maddawg IAJI]

"So....we haven't really done anything since we got to Vegas." said Sho to Sky.

"Argh, it be Adam. He be busy watching to make sure his lead in the Summer E Games isn't broken before he gets his gold medal." Sky replied.

"Wait? So we're essentially just gotta sit here for 19 hours or until Adam decides to get his ass in gear and post on here?"

"Argh,Pretty much."

"So what's Maddawg doing?"

"He be watching Siegfried and Roy and if they don't make him laugh he kills one of their baby tigers."

"Why?" Said Sho with a disgust look.

"He be wanting to skin them and make a quilt out of their hides."

"Dude....that's just sick...even for Maddawg."

MEANWHILE IN THE PARLOR!

"Okay okay, ja ja...A Jerman and a Jew walk into a bar-"says Roy.

"I'VE HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE!" Yelled Maddawg before a loud shotgun bang and screaming from the two performers filled the room.

Back with Sho and Sky.

"He found the liquer cabinet didn't he?"

"Aye."

 

[ajb924]

"Sooo... While we wait, what's in this Vegas Fortress?" Sho asked sky
"You be skipping to the lasts three posts again aren't ye." Sky said accusingly.
"I'M BUSY." Sho snapped back. "Well, while we wait we could go play some video games?"
"No, last time we did ye put some bug in my arm and made me lose." Sky accused.
"You can't prove that!"
"Argh! How else would it give out JUST as I was about to win!?"
"Fair enough. Well, I'm going to try to gamble."
"Argh, good luck with that." Sky said holding back laughter.
"I'll show you..."
An hour later....
Sho walked in with a few bags of casino chips.
"Told you! I gambled the best machine, the one that makes the chips. Now, we need to figure out how to cash these..."
"I think we're good on loot" Sky said looking around the mansion.
"Then I'm donating this to a good cause."
"Kill the orphans shut down."
"Into the fireplace then!" Sho said tossing the bags into the flames.

 

[world_of_dragons]

Spoiler: OOC

Okay, I'm getting lost, what's going on here?

 

[the infected (teamkiers)]

"The name's Frank, ex hitman, now genetically enhanced hero." He held out a hand. "And me and cybe aren't together. Besides it's physically impossible to, y'know, do the do with her." Frank said quietly.
"And why's that my mask wearing friend, too many misters barkin' up the dame's skirt?" Ram Johnson asked
"She's a cyborg. Simply put, she's part machine." Frank explained.

 

[Sgt_Jakeman214]

At the entrance to the bunker, resealed by Ram Johnson, a glowing portal appeared. The screams of demons and hellspawn could be heard from within. Gunfire echoed louder and louder, accompanied by a single guitar, belting out all different kinds of awesome. The remaining zombies shambled closer to the portal, sensing fresh flesh. Suddenly, great flames burst forth from the portal, incinerating the last of the zombies. A single lone demon ran out of the portal, screaming like a sissy. Duke Nukem jumped out, and shot the demon in the back, downing him. "Pussy!" Duke said. Jakeman emerged from the portal, glowing and proud. He walked over to the demon, and swung his Guitar-Axe into the demon's back, killing him. "And this is where we must part, Duke. And thanks for all the fish." Jakeman said to Duke Nukem, before the Duke turned to begin his roaring rampage of revenge against those who couldn't make Duke Nukem Forever, and those who still try. Jakeman turned to the doors of the bunker, now zombie free. As he walked up to them, he decided that music was needed to open the doors. He didn't know how this would work, but he knew it somehow would.

Jakeman lifted his Guitar-Axe, and began to play. The first strains of 'Enter Sandman' by Metallica burst forth from his Guitar-Axe, and the door acknowledged his awesomeness and opened. Jakeman continued playing as he descended into the bunker. "Wierd, the door was possessed all along. Meh." He thought to himself. As Jakeman reached the main area, he saw the hero's and what looked like a 50's detective around a bar. Rhianna looked up from her drink and instantly ran up to Jakeman, grabbing him in a grapple hold, her knife on his throat. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you right now!" she screamed in his ear. "Ease up turbo!!! I have been to hell and back, twice! I just want a Scotch! I am a changed man! I don't even remember why I was sent to hell in the first place! I just...don't...know...anymore!" Jakeman said as he began to sob. It was true. Jakeman couldn't remember why he existed anymore, what his purpose was..... All he had was a close companionship with Duke Nukem and his Guitar-Axe. His ODST Armour was scratched and dented beyond repair, with the left shoulder plate missing, and half of the chest armour burned off by horror's unspeakable to mortals. He still had his hat though, an old and battered Akubra. Rhianna left Jakeman go and he slid to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. After a minute, he composed himself, and got up. "I have no-one, and nothing except my Guitar-Axe. I don't want to know about my past. I want to forge a new future for myself. But not right now. Right now, I want to have a Scotch and then maybe go on an epic quest. Or 3." The barkeep looked at Jakeman and poured a Scotch from the same bottle as Ram Johnson's, sliding it down the counter to an empty stool next to Frank. Jakeman walked over to it and sat down, drinking the glass in one shot. He placed it back down, and turned to the others. "So, I've had my drink. What about an epic quest?"

<spoiler=World_of_dragons> Well, as I can see, Maddawg is in Vegas, with the villans, doing something villan-y. The heros are gathering for a drink at the nuclear fallout bunker just outside of Maddawg's nuke'd German Fortress, before proceeding to go to vegas to kick the crap out of the evil villans once more.

 

[Ramthundar]

Ram Johnson didn't take much notice of the new arrival. Odd men bursting into tears and vowing to get a new life, said life starting with getting F@cking wasted, was a common occurrence in his bar-scenes. Heck, it's the whole reason bars were created.

"Anyway, nice to meet yah Frank. The name's Ram Johnson, Inter-Dimensional Detective. You got the money, I'll soon have it in my wallet. Oh, and don't worry bout you're lady friend. In my experience, some extra gears and a little oil just give some more opportunities for fun." Ram Johnson gave another knowing cock of his eyebrow before turning to the newcomer.
"I'd take it slow, fellah. Don't want to be taking a Ram Johnson mix down on the first go."

Jakeman simply smiled at the shadowy detective. "Don't worry yourself, old timer. I may not know who I am, but I know I can handle any drink. I've been through hell and more, so anything strong is...um....is the room spinning to you? And melting?"

Jakeman slowly teetered a bit, before crashing to the ground, making bubbling noises and foaming at the mouth a little.

Ram Johnson simply shook his head. "Gotta say, I'm impressed. Most guys don't last a whole minute."

"Oh? What usually happens to them?" Frank asked, not sure if he should help Jakeman or not.

"They dissolve. Say bartender, what did you make this with anyway?"

The bartender shrugged. "Scotch, a bit of vodka, some battery acid, motor oil and...I'm not really sure what else."

Ram Johnson brightened. "So The Ram Johnson Mix got all the way to this galaxy too?"

The bartender merely nodded. Name's as bloody as Ram Johnson's usually got around, as well as any methods of keeping him on you're good side.

"Anyways, I'm off. I'm sure you guys have some grand quest planned, but I'm more of a solo guy. Maybe I'll go scope out those Villains you keep yammering about."

Ram Johnson gave a tip of his hat to the crow before walking away.

"Oh, and don't worry bout the new guy. I know his type. He'll be up before you know it, saying he was just "humoring me" or had a "momentary lapse in their defenses," he said, rolling his eyes. "If he sounds like he's planning on revenge or something, tell him not to bother. I ain't interested."

And with a final nod Ram Johnson headed out to the desert, taking him where Fate would. Hopefully to the next bar.

Spoiler: OCC

Planned on doing this in the post, but decided against it. The T-Shirt Contest is Open, and I got a shirt in it [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/536.227970-Poll-2010-Summer-E-Games-T-shirt-Contest-Voting-NOW-OPEN#7874278]. I won't tell you which is mine, you vote for the one you like. I'll just say mines the one of poorer quality. But do check it it out, there's some really awesome shirts there!

 

[maddawg IAJI]

Suddenly a second portal to hell appeared before them all and a small letter appeared in front of the Duke. "What is this?" said the Duke, bending down to pick it up.

"It's a letter, aren't you gonna read it?" asked Rhianna.

"FOOL! THE DUKE DOES NOT READ! HE SMOKES AND DRINKS AND KILLS THINGS IN STRANGE AND AWESOME FASHION AND-"

"You can't read can you?"

"....No..but that's beside the point!"

"Give me that!" Shouted Ram Johnson before seizing the note from the Duke's hands. "Its a cease and desist letter from Actvision. ' By the orders of Actvision you are to cease your infringement on the following trademarks.

1) The use of the word Hell, which is a registered trademark of Bobby Kotick.

2)The Use of the word Demon, which is a registered Trademark of Bobby Kotic's worker ants.
and
3) We would also wish for you to respect the other Trademarks Kotick has made in case of further use: Devil, Charon, Lucifer, Dante's Inferno and several others that we could not list in this letter due to our lack of a bible.

We do hope you understand.
-Activison.'"

IN VEGAS!

Freeman constructs a brand new Gravity gun.

Sho and Grim play cards

Sky and Maddawg watch the Resident Evil Movies

and Horrible looks around bored. "So uh....how bout something evil?.."

Maddawg simply looked back at the bad doctor. "Maybe next post."

 

[sky14kemea]

"Yarrr! Watchin' that zombie movie makes me want to blow stuff up." Cap'n Sky said, turning off the TV as the strangly hip music on the credits blared through the speakers.

"Well we are in Vegas. We could blow up some night clubs." Maddawg said, finishing off a bucket of popcorn.

"Aye, but we be needing bombs for that. I'll go look for some!" She said, striding out the door.

.........

Sky walked down the brightly lit streets of Vegas, grumbling about the crowds. As she passed by a group of drunken stag nighters, she overheard an interesting conversation.

"So my mate, Pete. Pete... Pete I fucking love yoooou." One said drunkenly, throwing himself onto one of his male companions.
"Shut up Jerry, get to the point." One of the other men said.
"Righ', Righ'.. Yeah! So Pete yeah? He got a lapdance from one of those bitches at Treasure Island. An'... An' he got it free 'cause he was dressed as Captain 'ook." He burbled, before vomiting in a nearby fountain.

As the screams of children playing in the fountains echoed, Cap'n Sky's eyes lit up.
"Treasure Island!? Yarr! There be loot afoot!" She yelled delightedly, running down the street. After asking a few terrified people for directions, she found herself outside a huge, pirate themed casino.

"Hrmm... Let's see here. 'Live shows every hour from the sexy sirens of Treasure Island." Sky paused for a moment.
"Sirens?!? Here!? Yarrr! They be tempting me fellow pirates to their doom! REVENGE!" She roared, turning her cybernetic arm into a cutlass.
She charged into the casino, ready to cut down the deadly sirens, when a familiar smell wafted over from the bar.

"RUM!" Changing direction swiftly, Cap'n Sky charged into the bar instead.

30 minutes later...

Sky burst back through the door of the Vegas hideout, rolling several kegs in front of her.
"Yarrr! I found rum!" She yelled, before hiccuping and falling over drunk.

 

[ajb924]

Sho looked at his hand. "Got any fours?"
"WE'RE PLAYING POKER." Grimm said getting annoyed.
"UNO!" Sho shouted happily
"How is that even possible!?"
"Hey, it's alcohol!" Sho said rushing to Sky's collapsed body and taking a keg. He returned to the poker table.
"5 aces!" Sho said drunk
"There's only four in a deck..." Grimm mumbled.
"Four aces!"
"I have three!"
Sho punched Grimm in the face and took his card while pulling all the fakes out of his sleeves. "Let's see here.... 27 aces!" Sho said "I WIN, VICTORY DRINK!"
"I hate you. I hate you so much..." Grimm said from the floor.

 

[BoosterGold]

An orange rimmed portal opened int the bunker/bar the heroes were in and a woman falls out of it. Landing in front of Frank, and Rhianna. She is wearing an baggy orange Jumpsuit and most strange what appears to be metal braces on ankles, and her feet are bare. Her hair is in a disheveled ponytail. She holding her portal gun

"Hi there, I'm Chell whats your names" she says giving them all a very big hug, "It so good to see people."



"I'm Rhinna"
"I'm Frank"
"I'm Chell, wait I already said that, Oooohhh does this place have food." she says bounding over to the counter.

 

[Ramthundar]

"...AHEM.As it was being narrated!"

Ram Johnson walked into the Desert, going where-ever fate may take him.

"By the gods it's hot out. I'm sure not walking through hell for a little fun!"

Dramatic pan out, fade. Pan and fade in, to Ram Johnson standing at near the Villains hideout. A bus of traveling cheerleaders lumbered away as it's occupants bid a tearful farewell to their ex-travel/massage buddy.

"Ah, nothing like a good transition for travel" purred Ram Johnson, wiping some lipstick of his neck. He then turned to look at the massive structure.

"Hmm...looks like some pretty tight security." he said, stroking his thinking-chin as he eyed the various patrols and gates.

"I'll just get bored fighting that many copy-paste goons. Looks like I'll have to be...sneaky-sneaky."

Later In The Game Room

"GOOOOAAAAL!"

"You don't even have any cards in you're hand!"

Sho threw the empty Rum-bottle at the poor-sportsmen.

"Ghba youzz inha KCHHEAD!" Sho slurred, to drunk to care to speak proper English.

"If you're just going to be that way, I'm just going to go to...is that shrubbery?" Grimm pointed at potted plant by the wall.

Sho cast blood-shot eyes on the greenery, and was getting up to make friends with it. He quickly collapsed and found to bottom of the table to be much more appealing.

"It's just that...there's no plants here. Least, non that won't kill you at first glance." Grimm continued. Sho was to busy trying to get benefits from his new friend to listen.

"Though it does look a little odd..." he said, peering closer, face almost touching the leaves.

Ram Johnson brought the chair down over Grimm's head, knocking him out cold. He then quickly picked him up and dragged him to the nearest closet.

"Heh, the ole 'Suspicious Shrubbery.' Always a hit." he said with a smile, putting on Grimm's clothes. Once he had fully changed, he quietly stepped out again and checked to see if anyone noticed. Luckily Sho was still busy with his table, now trying to convince it that he wasn't checking out the drapes and losing.

Ram Johnson slipped by him and went to explore.

 

[ajb924]

"Look I already -hic- told you tshat I washn't looking at them they were just *hic* talking about their breasts and I became intriuged.
The table sat silently.
"Well fuck you than. I*hic* i don't need you anyway..." Sho said stumbling over to the drapes. "So baby how, how are ya?" Sho said. Soon after he fell down and out the window. He hit the ground and screamed. "I don't wanna die! Somebody save me!"
"It's the first floor! Now keep it down, I'm stealing your secrets!" Ram Johnson said annoyed at show's drunkenness.
"Oh. So it is... I'm gonna go find something to knock up in some casino hotel. Later Grimm." Sho said stumbling for about 3 steps before passing out in the bushes.
"How much did that fellow drink?" Ram Johnson asked himself. He looked near the table. "Ah, around a keg an a half of rum... Well, that'll keep him out for a while!" He said returning to his investigation.

 

[BoosterGold]

Chell had already ordered food and was enjoying her first meal in a long time.
"Yay its food, that isn't GLaDOS' cake she always made it to rich, I am so hungry." She began to shovel the food into her mouth. *Nom nom nom*

"SOOO TAAASSSTTTYYY" She said in a sing song. She start to jump wildly accidental firing off a blue portal in to the distance and an orange portal on to the ceiling.

A pair of orange sun glasses fell the hole, Chell caught them. These are so...CHEESY she thought pocketing them because you never know when you might need them.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

Ram Johnson walked up to an armed guard, guarding a large door.

"So whats behind here?" Asked Ram Johnson

"Its the board room, where you, Maddawg and the rest of his commanders meet and consult secret deemed too important for us." Said one of the Locust guards.

"Wow..that is strangely informative..." Said Johnson, walking past the guard and into the room, closing the door behind him. "And now to steal some se- Oh come on now." He continued, staring at the second door and the retinal scanner.

 

[Sgt_Jakeman214]

Jakeman groggily got to his feet, collapsing twice before standing up straight. He quickly sat down on his chair again before he fell over once more. He turned to Frank and said "Wow, that is some great, but very potent stuff! I'll have to find that Ram Johnson adn get his exact recipe so that I can make some of my own. Hey! New chick! Yo, wahts ya name, love?" Chell looked up from her food, still chewing. "*mumble mumble* My name is Chell! OH! CHICKEN! Omnomnomnomomomnom nomnomnomnom......"
"Ok.... I've seen worse. Nice ta meet ya, I'm Jakeman. I think that's my name. Anyways, are we still waiting on anybody else? Cause otherwise we should - OH YEAH! A STAGE!!! Hey, who knows how to play drums? And I need another guitarist!" Jakeman shouted as he jumped up on stage. He started playing some Aussie pub rock, 'Khe-sahn' by Cold Chisel. He sang the lyrics too, and even though he was still recovering from Ram Johnson's scotch of death, he played the song perfectly.

 

[Orinon]

suddenly Rhianna was on stage guitar in hand
she strummed once a deep and powerful sound filled the room after a moment she strummed once more, than a third strum then she broke into a massive metal song
[spoiler/] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9NEzV8O3gI [/spoiler]
as she finished the song the others stared in amaze.
"So yeah I'll play second guitar, also I'm hoping Iji will show up.

 

[Ramthundar]

Ram Johnson grumbled at seeing the second gate. "I suppose I can just go back and grab that white-haired fellow, whatshisname, Sour?..." he muttered, not liking the idea of trekking back.

"Then again...hmmmm..." he continued with a thoughtful look. He then went up to the retina scanner.

PLEASE PLACE FOREHEAD ON PLATE

Ram Johnson did as he was told, and a thin beam of light passed over his eyes.


ERROR! IDENTIFIED RETINA NOT ON DATABASE, ACCESSING SECURITY-HERK!!

"Now I want you to listen close, my mechanical little friend," Ram Johnson growled, his hands now filled with the scanner's wires, the panel he had swiftly unscrewed laying on the floor.
"I could just rip out these wires here, but you and I both know that'll just shut down both gates and that's not in my plans. However, I've met a few cyborgs and robots in my time, so I know a bit of wires and such..." he said with a coy smile, rubbing some of the wires and making as though to unplug some.

"For example, I could re-route you to send you in some other programs...maybe you'll enjoy some time as a digital clock, hmm?"

The scanner sat in silence.

"Or I could send you to an entirely different system? Maybe you can be a quest giver! That be fun, yeah? Giving some good activity for...Hello Kitty Players?"

He felt the wires began to quiver a bit."

"Oooorrrr maaaaybe..." he said, dragging out each syllable with a sick delight. "I could send you into an entirely different machine...maybe as a microphone in the production studios of..." Ram Johnson racked his brain for today's pop-culture of hate. "Ke$ha?"

On the panel atop of the scanners eye, a single bead of oil squeezed through.

"Ah, I see I've hit the sweet spot. Now, looking deep into my pretty blues and tell me who you're looking at."

IDENTITY MATCHED WITH....ERR..GRIMM?

"Yeah, you're old buddy Grimm." Ram Johnson said, patting the machine with a friendly smile.

INITIATING WELCOME SEQUENCE FOR GRIMM?

Ram Johnson saw a boxing glove hesitantly squeak out of a hidden compartment.

"...you really want to meet this Ke$sha fellah, eh?"

The glove jiggled on it's spring for a second, before launching at the retina scanner.

"That's what I thought. Ke$ha? Seriously?" Ram Johnson muttered, heading deeper into the center of the Villains lair.

 

[BoosterGold]

Chell is listening to the music. "it is time for Jammin'." she declares.

Spoiler: Jamming Chell

 

[the infected (teamkiers)]

Frank jumed onto the drumms, sitting on the stool, he brought up the drum sticks, spinning them in his fingers a few times, then drumming a few beats.
"Right, let's roll, drum roll." He said.
Rhianna facepalmed at the bad pun.

"Okay Jakeman, what shall we play?"

 

[maddawg IAJI]

Ram Johnson walked through the third door, and right into three men pointing assault guns at him. "Oh son of-"

"You're under arrest by orders of the lord Maddawg." says the one in the middle, who is wearing a large overcoat and Sunglasses.

"How did you know?"

"Simple, we Unacto soldiers are equipped with bio-molecular scans that can see into past skin deep. We all know that Grim is equipped with an iron Spleen due to an accident caused by a prototype flamethrower, a Crowbar and two kittens. Now come on, you're coming with us!"

"Can't we just kill him Denton?" said the big man to the right in a stereotypical German accent.

"I agree, why take him prisioner? He is a spy!" said the Russian lady to Denton's left.

"We have our orders. Now follow them and take our guest to the top floor."